Nervous Husband - Wife jumping, please read

[Elisha 1]

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I heard somewhere 1 in a 1000

That's probably reserve rides.

[Remster 24]

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Think about this... You and your wife have a better chance of getting killed in a car accident than your wife has of getting killed skydiving.

My wife realized that on her own when she worried about my jumping, even after our little girl was born.

Heck, I'll take my chances skydiving more than I will riding a bicycle on the street.

This is bullshit. I don't know why people think that skydiving is safer the driving. It just isn't true.

The variables are much higher on the roads, and there are much more people driving cars than there are skydivers in the air with you. Plus you drive everyday if you have a job to go to. Exposure to risk is way higher.

Billy: you're not gonna win many debates on that one here. How many skydivers have you known who died in a car accident? How about in a skydiving accident?

Remster

[winsor 186]

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I heard somewhere 1 in a 1000

That's probably reserve rides.

More like deaths per participant.

30 dead/30,000 USPA members = 1/1,000

[lisamariewillbe 1]

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More like deaths per participant.

30 dead/30,000 USPA members = 1/1,000

Dont have to be a USPA member until off student status so thats not taking into consideration the ones who are tandems and AFF nor is it taking into consideration those who do not have a USPA membership.

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[Elisha 1]

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Think about this... You and your wife have a better chance of getting killed in a car accident than your wife has of getting killed skydiving.

My wife realized that on her own when she worried about my jumping, even after our little girl was born.

Heck, I'll take my chances skydiving more than I will riding a bicycle on the street.

This is bullshit. I don't know why people think that skydiving is safer the driving. It just isn't true.

No it is not, but your second statements is. P(dying skydiving) < P(dying driving) can be a correct statement, BUT THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SAFETY/RISK! Walking is safe. Walking across the street not at an intersection when traffic has a green light is NOT safe. Walking across the streek can be made much safer though with the use of crosswalks, traffic signals and paying attention to motorists. It is similar for skydiving, except for the HUGE overall risk factor of gravity and the severity of failing to mitigate gravity properly. Skydiving has lots of safety precautions from training and equipment, which most jumpers take VERY seriously and are attentive about using. With driving, the fact that you are inside of a padded, steel enclosed cage mitigates severity quite a bit. Rules of the Road and driver's trainging also helps mitigate the risk factors of driving as well.

[chaoskitty 0]

You've heard good advice on this thread. The only other advice I'd add is to be careful of how much she allows the sport to consume her when she starts her student progression and gets her license. Skydiving is very exciting for jumpers old and new. We spend a lot of time, energy, and money on it. If shes going to be a jumper and you're not .. just be careful that you keep the scales balanced in your relationship.

[jojo69 0]

I started jumping about 3 years ago. My husband does not jump. He very seldom come to the DZ with me because I tend to be very focused when I am there. He does support me and actually brags about "his wife the skydiver". I know that he worries about me. I call him when I get to the DZ and when I am done with my last jump.

I try to jump every weekend. I do however spend every Friday night and Saturday night with him and his friends playing darts. I stink at darts but it is something he loves to do.

Be supportive and keep balance in your relationship.

[The111 0]

I'd imagine we're all sick of the "driving vs skydiving" debate.

I'd also wager that it's impossible to accurately answer that question with statistics, nor is the answer even important.

What IS important, and perhaps this will help the original poster with his feelings, is to realize that skydiving is NOT the only dangerous thing we humans do on a daily basis. For people that don't skydive, driving is probably the most dangerous thing they do, and the scariest part is that most don't realize it. I think the whole "skydiving safer than driving" line is valuable in that it makes us think about safety with regard to both activities, regardless of how true it is.

As I get older, I develop more respect for the risks in skydiving, and approach the sport more safely, and the same is true for driving. I am amazed at the number of stupid things I see done on the road each day, by people who seem oblivious to the inherent risk in piloting tons of metal at high speeds, in opposite directions.

To the original poster, consider this: my girlfriend skydives, and I am always a bit scared for her when she jumps (as I am for myself). But, we live 80 miles apart, and I am also scared when she is on the road to and from my house, because I know she's not safe there either.

Risk surrounds us all.

www.WingsuitPhotos.com

[rmsmith 1]

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I would also like to know how your spouses deal with your skydiving.

Do as the whuffo ladies do...

1. cut off the sex.

2. don't talk about it.

3. talk to your mother about it every day.

4. max out the credit cards.

5. get a home appraisal.

6. ...you got the idea, right?

[Gretsch 0]

[chaoskitty]

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If shes going to be a jumper and you're not .. just be careful that you keep the scales balanced in your relationship.

[jojo69]

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Be supportive and keep balance in your relationship.

Thank you both for this advice. One thing I can say about my wife, she is very supportive of my dreams. That is why it's so important for me to deal with my fears. I do not want to be a buzz kill for her. She's so excited and thrilled about this.

Everyone has given me a lot to think about and a definate game plan. I think I'm going to tell her, if she hasn't already found this site, to come visit here. You people are awesome! Thank you!

-Gretsch

-Gretsch
...like fetch with a GR. :)

[freakflyer9999 1]

I can promise only one thing for sure. That is that your wife is going to die. How and when is subject to a lot of different factors.

She could sit on the couch for the rest of her life and die of some natural cause.

She could sit on the couch for the rest of her life and die of total boredom.

Or

She could get up off the couch and go live her life. This may take additional risk, but the rewards can be infinite.

Eighteen years ago this week, I was laying on the couch gasping for breath and grabbing my chest. Fortunately, the heart attack that I had that day was extremely mild. I got up off that couch that day, threw my cigarettes in the trash and decided that I would not die laying on that couch. I decided that I was going to live my life each and every day.

Among other things I became a skydiver. Skydiving is a sport where the rewards are infinite and though the risk is higher it can be managed. There are no guarantees though. In this sport, I've seen my best friend's crushed and lifeless body laying on the ground, but I've also experienced flight in a way that can not be described in words.

As I stated, the risk in this sport can be managed, in spite of the fact that it can not be eliminated. Good training, good equipment, attention to detail and sound decision making mitigates the risks for me.

I personally choose not to ride a motorcycle on the streets because I don't feel that I can manage enough of the risks involved to an acceptable level for me.

Be proud of your wife for being willing to live her dreams. Skydiving was also a dream of mine. It continues to be a fullfilment of that dream each and every time I let go of the airplane.

Blue Skies

Kenny G.

[peggs82 0]

In addition to what everyone has said, know that skydivers are a very tight knit group of people. My friends at my DZ have all but totally replaced my non-skydiving friends, because we share a very special bond.

I know that these people look out for me in every way possible. Know that those same kind of people are looking out for your wife, and safety is on everyones mind.

Like its been suggested, go to the DZ. Meet these people. I found that exposing my concerned family members to these people. Our safety officers, and riggers as well, went a great way towards helping them deal with their concern for me.

The more contact you can have with your wife's new sport will certainly help you as well. Like everyone has said, there are no guarentees, but knowledge is key. The more you and your wife know, the better you both will be!

Kudos to you for being a stand up guy. I am sure it's difficult to support something you can't relate to, but know that we look after our skydiving families as best we can, and I'm sure wherever your wife jumps, there are people doing the best they can to make sure she is as safe as possible in our sport!

[recovercrachead 0]

dont worry about your wife dying. I would worry about the sky gods taking her on a safety meeting then dirt diving her.

Track high, Pull LOW!!!

[jtval 0]

Gretsch,
First, bravo to you for being so supportive and open-minded enough to do some research about the subject.


If your wife wants to jump chances are she's going to jump. It's great that you won't try to stand in her way but one thing you can tryis to go through the motions.

It may be incredibly hard to watch her jump but if you go to the dropzone with her and sit in onher classes and discuss your feelings with some skydivers you WILL at least get to spend some time with her.

IMO- The BEST thing you can do is help her research some of the aspects of jumping. (risks, costs, trials and triumphs) but don't force it down her throat.

If she is going to skydive that best thing she can do is be as educated as she can possibly be.

By readin your posts, I believe that it may scare you to death letting her do this. But you're intelligent enough to know you can't forbid it.
If she is half way as supportive as you seem to be you should be able to talk honestly about YOUR fears and your desire to be supportiveandexplain thatshemay have to be patient with you as you are with her.


Good luck with whatever decision you two make.
There is a very glorious side of skydiving. There is a freedom that can not be described in words. There is also a dark side; a cliche goes "if you stay in the sport long enough you will know someone who dies."


Personally in my life I know more people who died in other ways, but even as a skydiver I understand your concern. My girlfriend of 3+ years has been skydiving as long as I've known her and I would be destroyed if something happened to her.

My photos

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[Gretsch 0]

hi Everyone,

I wanted you to know I'm still reading this thread and very interested in your responses. I appreciate every one of them. Again, and again - thank you!

-Gretsch

-Gretsch
...like fetch with a GR. :)

[daremrc 0]

umm I'm new at this sport but my thoughts are that you should definately spend some time at the dz with her. After several days and evenings spent both watching and socializing with the group that your wife jumps with, you might try to seriously re-evaluate your feelings about making one jump yourself.

it's not for everybody, but it would give you a first-person insight into what she is now interested in. It may even be healthy for you to step a little outside your comfort zone & give it just one shot, but only if it's a little out of your comfort zone. In the same breath, I would say that IMHO, it would *not* be good if you made a jump only at the urging or pressure of others, if you really didn't feel like you could at least handle or tolerate it just the one time. It doesn't sound like this is a possibility, but I wanted to mention it in the name of balance..


I got into this sport trying to 'check skydiving off of my list of things to experience', like your wife. You might be surprised at how you feel and how, possibly, pre-concieved notions of what you thought it would be like compare to the actual experience. I can't speak for you and your feelings, but this is how I feel in hindsight. While the sport is by no means safe, I think it is somewhat safer than the popular opinion would lead you to believe.

and I believe thats $.02 worth

Good judgement comes from experience, and most of that comes from bad judgement.

[wmw999 2,122]

Something to think about. Look at the left hand side of each of the posts. Many people have the number of years they've been in the sport, and the number of jumps they have in there.

It's not a safe sport. But a lot of seemingly intelligent people have been doing it for a long time, so the risks, as in so many other things, can be managed.

Never eliminated.

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[skytash 0]

I suspect one of the things that makes skydiving very concerning to outsiders is the level of hazard. If I compare my week-ends with those of say rugby players, the chances of me showing up a work with an injury are far lower (ie it has lower risk) however if I was to have an injury, I probably wouldn't be at work at all unlike the rugby player with the bruised up face.

It's true, you can get hurt and die doing either of these sports, however most people only focus on the fact that the hazard is high and forget the number of Monday mornings skydivers all over the world walk back into the office with no damage to themselves (apart from you professional skygods of course)

tash

Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Being alive is a special occasion. Avril Sloe

[Tink1717 2]

The fatality rate in skydiving is 1 in 225,000. The fatality rate of treadmills is 1 in 10,000. (ACSM, Guidelines for exercise testing and prescription 6th edition) Your wife will be quite safe as long as she takes a conservative path and has good instructors. By her good gear and allow her to stay current and she'll be fine.

Skydivers don't knock on Death's door. They ring the bell and runaway... It really pisses him off.
-The World Famous Tink. (I never heard of you either!!)
AA #2069 ASA#33 POPS#8808 Swooo 1717

[bch7773 0]

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I heard somewhere 1 in a 1000

That's probably reserve rides.

I think 1 in 300 is the reserve ride rate.

MB 3528, RB 1182

[FrenchyDiver 0]

First of all, allow me to congratulate you on such a positive attitude. Not many people I know would react as you do. Your fears/concerns are very legitimate, asfter all you do care for her . Since you already started to educate yourself about this sport, many of your questions will be answered within time.
Many other posters have already given you very good advise, such as spend time at the dropzone, sit on your spouse training, talk to her instructors ect...
I will thus only answer to the part about non-skydiving spouses. In our couple, I jump, she does not and will probably never jump. She had very much the same concerns as you do when I decided to resume jumping again. I did my best to introduce her to this sport as well as to other skydivers with whom she could talk to. Within time, she was able to get a better understanding about skydiving and how to manage risks. We did have many long chats about the risk factor, and such. We also agreed on ways to better manage those risks. Her fears never went away, and never will. She knows that maybe one day, she will get a call from the DZ, a call that she doesn't want to receive. Nevertheless, she is still supportive. The key, at list in ou case, is keeping a good balance in our quality time, and me not taking unnecessary risks (such as doing things for wich I have no skills). My skydiving time will never superseed our family time.
I don't know were you are located, but if you are in the NoVA-DC area, feel free to get in touch.

Regards

JM

Hispas Brothers President
HISPA #2,

[Gretsch 0]

You are all so awesome! I told her about this thread and this site today at lunch. When she's free, I bet she'll stop in and say hi.

Thank you all again!

-Gretsch

-Gretsch
...like fetch with a GR. :)

[mustard 0]

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You are all so awesome! I told her about this thread and this site today at lunch. When she's free, I bet she'll stop in and say hi.

Hope she does. I've enjoyed the thread too, and hearing of your concerns. Skydiving is not for everybody, but for those who catch the bug, it can be very life-affirming. I made what was going to be "just one jump" 16 years ago and now have made more than 3800. It's how I relax and put into perspective the rest of my life.

But it's not everything. Relationship is very important, and I hope that she keeps in mind the fact that you are making a huge effort to accommodate her new obsession.

When I first started, I could not keep myself from going to the Drop Zone if it was the weekend, whether it was snowing or blowing or whatever -- I was afraid that I would miss out if I didn't go! (Couldn't have my friends have fun jumping out of airplanes without ME!)

But that does eventually moderate. Now I can actually spend one of the two weekend days away from the airport. But still, if it's beautiful out, I feel those twinges. Keep in mind that everything changes, even falling in love changes and doesn't stay the same. If you hang in there with your full support, moderation might begin earlier...

***
DJan

[cocheese 0]

Embrace Human Flight.

[FrogNog 1]

My advice has nothing to do with fatality.

How is her health insurance? Someone dying is horrible and tragic and basically we all deal with it and hope it never hits closer to home than it did last time. But someone being injured and running up huge medical bills is also bad.

Ameliorating death is not reasonable. But ameliorating the fiscal impact of injury on loved ones and enhancing the quality and quantity of care available to help recover can be done with insurance.

Sorry to talk money instead of talking good feelings, but I feel sooooo awful whenever I hear so-and-so had a skydiving accident, doesn't have insurance, and his/her family needs to pay rent and eat.

-=-=-=-=-
Pull.