Man, I owe sooooo muuuccchhh beer

[Michele 1]

This is all still sinking in.
I get to Perris, and check in at the school. Everything's easy, take the ground class, learn all the things I need, go through the harness room, lookin' good, feelin' nervous, all normal. Suited up, got put on wind hold, talked to my JM about all the questions about everything, from reserve test loads to booties on a jumpsuit.
So we go up for level III. I'm a nervous wreck, and literally trembing. We get a ride down because the wind is gusting 16-20 knots, which is far too much for me to deal with. And I am glad that the decision to jump was taken away, and furious that I am glad that I didn't jump.
This time, leg straps were nice and tight, everything felt fine, except my head. All the "what if's" and "oh f&*k's" had taken up residence, made their nest, and were not just talking to me, but screaming at me. While we were on the ground waiting for the next load, I walked around. Talked to both my JM's (Vinnie Palmieri and Jim). Talked to Dennis. Relaxed (yeah, right). walked through my jump, touched BOC and red and silver handles, tried to stop thinking, pasted a stupid-ass grin on my face, and re-boarded. On the ride up, it was more of the same. I was able to discipline myself to take deep breaths, imagine the skydive, relax, and breathe again, until it was my turn at the door. Made a complete 180 attitude change. "I AM A SKYDIVER - THIS IS WHAT SKYDIVERS DO; THEY GET OUT OF THE GODDAM DOOR" was the refrain running through my head now.
Out I go - free - arching, smiling, doing my one PRCT, COA, get the all-clear, great body position, do a really wussy, mealy left hand turn, check alti, do a great right hand turn, check alti, misunderstand the jm's signal, and refuse to do what I thought was a forward momentum (there are people in front of me, for pete's sake), check alti, 6k, lock onto my alti, here's 5, ready, grab cord, pull, toss......beautiful. There goes the pilot, and I'm waiting, um, oh, there it is....ow. But not as "ow"" as previously.
And now it is just flashes. Look up, see line twist, o.k., I know how to handle that. Hands up the risers, push outward, kick. God, what the hell is wrong with the right side? O.k., it's not really like the pix, but I guess that's end cells not open - do end cells go that far in?. I know how to handle this, too. But where's the slider? (I have no recollection as to where it actually was - I didn't hear it, and I didn't see it). Look and reach for the left toggle, loop it over hand. Look and reach for the right toggle. Reach for the right toggle again. What the f*&k? Where is that stupid yellow thing? Christ I'm starting to not fly straight. Turning to the left. Shake out of the toggle, thinking "No pressure on that side where the hell is the other toggle". Keep reaching, (spinning left), looking, grabbing anything, and all I get was a handful of - shoelaces? (That was all my mind could name - they were the brake lines). There was no tension, just loose shoelaces. I'm pulling this, trying to get a hold of something, anything, please what the fuck! Now I'm spinning fast, body levelling off, no longer in a sit but forced back to prone. And picking up speed. And watching the ground spiral below. See the edge of the chute at eye level with me - and I'M BELLY DOWN! Four spins that I counted, feet feeling "full", shit, centrifugal force.
All I remember then was "that pix in the harness room" and on top of that "this is not correctable", and I was looking down for the red - found it (by my neck), two hands, look silver (it's still there, but under my left breast), pull red, arch and pull silver. Bang! now I'm sitting up again, and I reach up and get hold of both toggles, and I am trying to remain calm. I look at my alti, knowing that 2,500 doesn't mean shit now, because I am flying my reserve. This IS the canopy I will be landing. I am at about 3,000.
I spot the dz, knowing that I was in the wrong place, but now looking for outs because I have this pretty blue thing over my head and not the red and white one I started with. And I am floating. And now this voice crackles into my ear "Good girl, hon. I saw it all...good job. Now come home". I can't think, only shriek. Only cry (not recommended in goggles, btw). Blindly following the voice in my ear, coming home. Turning hard left, turning hard left again. Getting my knees together, hearing him say sit it down, don't stand it up, sit down. Now I see the spot I am landing, and then I hear FLARE and so I do. And I sit down. And then lay down. And then get out of a toggle, and ground the chute. And flop on top of it, crying. Sobbing. Can't stand up. The dirt tastes good in small servings.
"Hon? You o.k.? Can you stand up?" comes into my ear. I wave one hand over my head, and stay on the ground. I get to my knees, gather my chute, try to stand, and here I am, and I'm walking over the peas, and there are people landing around me so I sit down again under the windsock, and feel hands helping me up, and I get over to the school and on the vid I say "look! Start with red, end with blue, I can pull the handle" and everyone cracks up but I don't remember this at all. And my jm's have not decided whether or not to clear me to level 4, and I don't care, and it takes at least an hour to debrief me, and it was my third jump and I had a reserve ride.
The shit happened so fast. And my head was so clear. And I am so thankful that I was able to literally walk away (o.k., so I broke another nail).
And I really wanted to say thank you to everyone here, because I attribute the experiences you all have posted in helping me keep a clear head, and especially THANK YOU to Sangiro because he's the reason this board it here in the first place so I could learn, and thank you to the rigger, and the jm's, and everyone and I am home now, and I haven't lost it yet but I am sure that's coming, and I am having a big screwdriver with extra vodka and then going to go to bed.
So, how was your day?
bleau cieux
Michele

[wingnut 0]

glad you're still with us!!!!! to bad about the reserve ride, i know they suck, never had a spinning one myself though....... do you know what happened to your main to cause it to be messed up?????...

"if dreams are like movies, then memories are like films about ghosts"-counting crows

[Aviatrr 0]

Congrats on a job well done.. Why the hell would they not clear you for level 4? You proved that you can do the primary things on your own.. Freefall stable(I'm assuming, since you said they were in front of you), deploy your main, and get rid of a bad main and deploy your reserve..
I had almost the same happen on my 3rd.. Once I got under reserve, I was whoopin and hollerin so much they heard me while I was still at 2k.. First stand up landing, too.. Mike

[Albatross 0]

Michelle, I know that you only have the 3 jumps but today you are my hero. You overcame you fear, you kept your cool and you took the actions that saved your life. While I have a bunch more jumps than you do I still wonder if I will be able to do the right thing when the time comes. You are a godess in my book and a real fighter. If you come back out and that is your decision (I really hope you do) look for me tall, dark hair tatoo of the sun, moon, and star onmy shoulder: all the beer is on me that day!
Ready, Set, GOOOOOOO
Albatross

[sangiro 4]

This is one sweeeet-ass post! Safe swoops
Sangiro

[Michele 1]

Wingnut
I have no real idea what actually happened. They are checking the chute out, but I think that either the line broke (don't ask which one), or that there was something off with the toggle and setting. Or maybe it was a line overr, but it didn't look exactly like that. Of course, it didn't look like anything I had seen in the harness room, so go figure. All I know is that once I started spinning, the decision was easy. Scary, terrifying, but easy.
Aviatrr - one JM had no problem clearing me once he reviewed the vid, but the other one didn't see the vid, so they're going to check it out tomorrow. I was stable - great position, held it almost without thinking about it. I think the reason is that I had a horrid left turn (non-existant, just a general drift), and that I misunderstood a signal (he signalled left turn, I thought forward movement), and refused. It's all good, no matter what. The JM's had interesting reactions - they were both really mellow. I would have thought that they'd be freaked. I sure was!
Michele

[Viking 0]

Wow sounds like you had a exciting weekend!!! So what did your rigger ask for? hope it wasn't anything really expensive!!
Remember when Sex was safe and skydiving was Dangerous?

[BPO 0]

Michele,
you did Gooood!!!
Cheers!

[jfields 0]

Michele,
Sounds like you did right. You saw a major problem and corrected it by putting a good canopy over your head. There are a lot of people with many more jumps than you that wouldn't be as calm and wouldn't do the right thing. You didn't freeeze. You didn't just wait for your Cypres to fire your reserve into whatever mess was left of your main. You did as you were taught. Great job! I hope I do as well as you when I have my first malfunction.
Justin
"If it can't kill you, it isn't worth doing."

[Rhonda66 0]

No matter what happenened, that is so awesome. You didn't freak out and spiral in or cutaway and not pull your reserve. It sounds like you may have had your toggle unstow prematurely and when you released and pulled down on the left one it may have put you into a spin, but that's just a guess - could have been anything....when you find out, let us know.
I have 200 jumps and no cutaways and I still wonder how I will react when that day arrives. You know that you can handle it now. The chances of it happeneing again are very slim...
You seem shaken up, but you should be so proud of yourself -
Congrats. on surviving your first cutaway - you definitely owe some beer :)
Rhonda

[Merrick 0]

Way to go girlie.... Sounds to me like you did exactly what you were supposed to do!
On a positive note, while you still owe the rigger who packed your reserve a bottle of his/her favorite liquor... you're not technically required buy beer for your firsts until after you've graduated... I'll prob get flamed for that little secret, LOL but who cares! "OMG there I was, thought I was going to die.. she walks in with a can of motoroil & jumpercables.."

[Pammi 0]

Quote

Michelle, I know that you only have the 3 jumps but today you are my hero.

I second that!! All I can say is 'wow'. I don't even know you and all I want to do is just give you a big hug, tell you it's okay now and you were amazing!! Ah what the hell..*hugs* Good girl!! I hope I do so well when my mal eventually comes!
Pammi
Some new pics.

[PhillyKev 0]

Great job...glad you came away with it the way you did. So how are you feeling now that it's had a day to sink in? Ready to get back up or are you apprehensive about it? Thanks for sharing that info with us as well. Definitely encourages me to make sure to practice my emergency procedures even more then I already do.

[GeekStreak 0]

(( MICHELLE )) <<== hugs
You demonstrated a great deal of courage, kept your wits about you, and did the right thing. I don't know you, I'm proud of you just the same GREAT JOB!!
So when are you going back up? You have to you now... how else are you gonna pay the beers?
1111,
GeekStreak

[Donna 0]

Michele.... awesome job!! You better be damn proud of yourself, girl, because you deserve it. Just think... only 3 jumps and you have a "No shit... there I was" story!! I'm very impressed. I agree with Pammi... I just want to hug you, too. I'm so glad you did so well and are ok. I think you should definitely be passed to level IV! You showed you could do what needed to be done and save your life. Way to go! Congratulations!
Skies and fluffies,
D

[Jessica 0]

Girl, you THE SHIT!!!! That is awesome! What a great story. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
I had two reserve rides in my first 20 jumps. I spent a couple of months just going to the DZ and hanging out, afraid to get back on the plane.
My advice -- go ASAP. You rock! You saved your life! You handled it way better than I did, certainly, and check out the confidence you oughta have now -- cutaways are CAKE, right?!
I am so proud of you! Wow!

[skybytch 259]

Quote

Girl, you THE SHIT!!!!

I second that motion! Way to go Michelle! I still haven't had to chop in almost 800 jumps; hearing about your day makes me more confident that I'll be able to handle it correctly too.
Good job! And BIG HUGS!!!pull and flare,
lisa

[PLFKING 3]

Michele --
I've been reading these forums since last August, and I think that has to be one of the best stories I've read. You are awesome...
I've got 40 jumps, and I love the hell out of everything about this sport, but I do admit that just the thought of cutting away is still enough to cause massive angst. I do all the drills all the time, but I get nervous when I think about actually having to perform them, even wonder sometimes if I'll remember everything -- not a good mindset to have.
You are my hero as well..........and Sangiro, I would second the motion of putting this story up front.
The PLF King

[chronistin 0]

such a shock... On your third jump!
But after a while, it'll start to feel good: You did what was necessary. You can do it, if necessary.
blue skies!
Andrea

*************************************
http://www.wortwerkstatt.at/skydiving

[DZBone 0]

Gyrl, what you do!
I'm sitting here in my office with tears in my eyes! Cripes, I hope no one notices.
Nice work, nice writing, nice everything. Welcome back!
Carl

[DiverDown 0]

Michele,
One of the biggest unknowns I wonder about in this sport is how will I react when the time comes? Judging from some of the other posts here it is something many of us give some thought to. Will I react quickly, without any hesitation or will I keep messing with that ball of crap over my head for too long? You should be very proud of yourself since you have just answered that question for yourself while many of us are still left to wonder how we will perform when our time comes. So congratulations to you for a job well done! And congratulations in knowing for a fact that you can and will deal with a malfunction should it happen to you! Blue Skies!!

[skreamer 1]

Michele, well done!
I really hope you jump again soon, because you now have fellow skydivers ALL over the world who would love to jump with you. So hurry up and get that Cat. 8 already! /s
PS while the action is going, I'm going to get me some : for Michele.
PPS I hope that after my first reserve ride all you ladies are as generous with the hugs!!!
"Blue Screens Black Coffee"

[amir1967 0]

way to go Michele
I had my reserve on the 18 jump ,# 17 was C&P.
Nice round one landed about 20 m from the T and I was fine .
The thing hit me the next morning at 02:00 .My hart beat was so hard and fast wake up and then it sunk in.
Well, just learn from it is nice to know you can trust your reserve
Blue sky
AM67

[huffermoose 0]

Michelle what can i say " i'm not worthy"
i haven't had a reserve ride before (mind you only 48 jumps) but you did the right thing you landed in one piece a job well done!!!!
I was up in empuriabrava in spain and there was i guy doing his aff consols however a girl who was doing her level 1 got his rig so he had to wait (he was really piised off about it) any way up we go in the plain i'm doing a 2 way with my imaginnary friends ( n.b skreamer) and i pull when i got 3500 and just relaxed nothing crazy under canopy as the sun was just going down and i was enjoying the view i have a look around and the girl who was doing here level 1 was still coming down at 4000ft cut away and up popped the reserve so i did the honrouble thing and followed her main down Landed in a field to the north. sat around for 30 minutes until someone got me. and you should have seen the face of the guy who was going to use that chute he was a bit pasty to say the least.
but i cant say it enough well done!!!
sometimes i wish i could have a reserve ride to prove to myself i can do it and then i think to myself "nah a nice big square will do me every time (i hope )
happy landings mooose

[lazerq3 0]

Hi Michelle,
well I guess theres not to much more to say that hasnt been said. I think since your still on stuent status and half of your rig failed you outta get half your money back for that jump(J/K). All joking aside listen to whoever it was that said get back up thee ASAP. I cnat tell ya I know how you feel cause I havnt had a mal yet. But I have heard of people getting eaten alive by there fear from sitting too long. You know the drill now... and you know it works. Hope to hear about a KICK ASS L4 jump real soon. We'er all rooten for ya!!!
jason