Fake skydiver of the day

[Gawain 0]

I like this one from Andy...it's not busting out a faker, but I like the "whuffo" reaction:
http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=2673774;search_string=favourite%20whuffo;#2673774

So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

[porpoishead 5]

damn i'm sure I had read that thread before, I didnt remeber the bi-plane thing

that is funny as fucking hell..I just peed myself reading that.

if you want a friend feed any animal
Perry Farrell

[happythoughts 0]

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One thing that I have learned about liars of all flavors - don't educate them.

I just wonder 2 things with people like that. Do they believe it themselves, and do they really think we believe them?

Must be sad to be that fake.

It always seems to be two things. The fake energy that it generates, and their expectation that everything in their life lasts an hour.

They talk to desperate people who want to talk about being "extreme" and "on the edge". It generates all this enthusiasm. People who are too ready to be excited about anything.

Also, on a good or a bad day, life only lasts an hour.
So, living a Walter Mitty dream life for 30 minutes is cool, even if nobody believes them and it ends.

"Yeah, so I like took all the money that I got when I was a pirate and bought this new underground technology for hacking government systems. I have to live with my crew to protect me..."

[Squeak 17]

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It's quite the challenge to keep a conversation going with a whackadoo like that, isn't it?

Not at all we've been keeping you occupied for years

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[taylor.freefall 0]

Got to be honest, I'm starting to like this guy

[DFWAJG 4]

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One thing that I have learned about liars of all flavors - don't educate them.

If a troll gets on the forums and starts spewing trash, it is easy to bust them. But people tell them how they know they are fake, and that just gets us better educated trolls.

The same goes for liars in real life. If you tell them how you know that they are lying, then they become better liars.

I've got patients like that.

[happythoughts 0]

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One thing that I have learned about liars of all flavors - don't educate them.

If a troll gets on the forums and starts spewing trash, it is easy to bust them. But people tell them how they know they are fake, and that just gets us better educated trolls.

The same goes for liars in real life. If you tell them how you know that they are lying, then they become better liars.

I've got patients like that.

Somehow, a patient who lies, seems counter-productive.

"I'm not really sick. Fine."
"Your arm... has fallen off."
"Only a flesh wound."
"If you aren't ill, why are you here?"
"It's my only social outlet. The cashier at the market has a restraining order."

[RkyMtnHigh 0]

Now THAT is a great example of psychosis.

_________________________________________

[skybill 18]

Hi 111,
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Been in your shoes more than once, got the T-shirt,.... GOT THAT!!!! They're everywhere!! It's too easy to just get involved, go thru the course, make some jumps and "Be a Skydiver!!" NOOOOO! Some of these people can't. Nuf said! I can still "Show Up!" at the DZ, hang over intact, get on the next load and Skydive!! Be content, they are not there because they are holed up in their own lie. "OH you were at the "OTHER" DZ?? What other DZ?? There isn't one within 1500 mi of here!! When I worked at Irvin Industries Inc back in CA at 3333 W. Warner in Santa Ana, CA back in the late 80's until the mid 90's as a "Parachute Rigger" , we would occassionally get a newbie in the plant that would start to "spout off!!" I didn't say much, just on monday after Skydiving all weekend at Elsinore and Perris, I'd bring my rig in at
lunch time and pack it in the carpet area next to the rigging tables. 'Don't have to say a goddamn word!!! They shut up real quick!!!!!!!!
PS, That's just one time frame, incidents like that happened all the time... even till now.

SCR-2034, SCS-680

III%,
Deli-out

[DJL 232]

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Well after running the story by another friend in the office I find out he tells all sorts of incredible stories, such as being an FBI agent at 14 years old as part of a plea bargain to keep himself out of jail for hacking into the DOD mainframe accidentally.

I've met people like this - pathological liars. This guy in my office (the IT dude who wasn't even good at IT) said he was leaving the company because NASA had recruited him as an astronaut. He didn't want anyone to know that he'd already been training on the weekends but with a shuttle launch coming up he needed to quit our company. He went so far as to create a letter from NASA to him (with letterhead) stating that he was accepted into the astronaut program. When he left he told us all that he'd be on CSPAN at 4pm the next Tuesday to testify in front of congress about the future of the space program.

The last we heard about this guy someone saw him in a parking lot making a beer handoff to a bunch of teenagers.

"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher

[Conundrum 1]

See, I'd just call someone out who was spewing that crap.

[downwardspiral 0]

I never get to witness fake skydivers. Damn it! I feel so left out.


That's hilarious btw.

www.FourWheelerHB.com

[galvar2439 0]

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So we've all met fake skydivers at the bar or elsewhere. Well today, for the first time, I met one at work. A guy I've worked with for a while now, and the dialogue is a pretty good one.

He comes by my desk and notices the wallpaper I have with a wingsuit photo I took (this one).

Him: "Wow, that's a cool picture."

Me: "Thanks, I took the photo."

Him: "Yeh, I have a jacket like that at home. It has wings so you can fly. Yeh, skydiving is something I do on the weekends."

Me: "Really? Me too. What kind of wingsuit do you have?"

Him: "Not sure, I'd have to go home and check in my closet. It's been a year since I used it. I stopped jumping a year ago because my chute tore up."

Me: "What happened?"

Him: "Well, they took me up to about 25,000ft and we got out with our wingsuits on. We were flying around and throwing a football back and forth, but when I went to use my chute somebody threw something metal to me and it went into the chute and cut it."

Me: "How many jumps do you have?"

Him: "2k, 3k."

Me: "So you have 3000 jumps but you stopped because your main blew up?"

Him: "Well, it was $8000 and I didn't want to buy another one. Plus I had to use my backup chute and I really hurt my feet landing it. I was coming down at like 15 ft/sec for sure."

Me: "You paid $8000 for a main? What was it?"

Him: "I don't know, I bought it in France on a whim. While I was out there BASE jumping. And I used the chute for that too."

Me: "What did you jump before that canopy?"

Him: "I dunno, I always just rented gear from the dropzone."

Me: "You rented gear for 3000 jumps? Wow. How big was your main?"

Him: "About 25 feet."

Me: "So you have that wingsuit at home and you're going to let me know what it is, right?"

Him: "Yes."

Me: "Hey, I have a friend about the same build as you and he's been looking for a used wingsuit. Could you bring it in tomorrow so I can take a look at it?"

Him: "Oh, it's at my other house in another city. I'll check next time I go back there."

I was holding back so hard. I can't believe he just kept digging himself deeper rather than owning up. Every day I see this guy for the rest of my life, I'm going to ask him another question just to see what kind of response he comes up with.

I think i met this guy when i was flying home from Argentina, or maybe it was his cousin, I posted the story here awhile ago. Similiar situation, was reading Parachutist on the plane and that just started this guy on a 21/2 hr story of his first jumpand how all these simply outrageous things happened and at the end he was asked to come be an instructor because he did so many awsome things on his first static line jump. Funny people out there

So i just broke up with this woman who wasn't even my girlfriend!

Hellfish #782, POPS #10664

[BDashe 0]

When i first started jumping, right after I got my A (bout 35 or 40 jumps) i was introduced to a friend of a friend while interning in DC one summer during college. Pretty classic, very similar story.

Him: So you skydive? That's awesome me too!

Me: Sweet! I just got my license we should jump together this weekend

Him: Oh, well, I dont anymore, I dont have my gear.

Me: I dont have gear yet, they have a bunch of rentals at orange, come do a currency and jump with me.

Him: Ok I'll think about it. So what do you like to do in the air?

Me: Im still on my belly, I want to learn to freefly though, looks like a lot of fun.

Him: Yeah I like to skyboard, It's a sh*tload of fun.

Me: Oh d*mn! I didn't realize you had that many jumps! You're way ahead of me. how many you have?

Him: ahhhh... tweeeeeentyyyyy ahhh seven I believe, yeah about 27.

Me: (picks up jaw from the floor) You're joking right?

Him: No, I really have 27 jumps, jumped for a few years.

Me: When did you start skyboarding?

Him: At about 20 jumps

Me: Wow, i dont know a DZ that would let you do that, i hear they are REALLY dangerous (meaning for his jump numbers). Where do you jump?

Him: Not around here, was out in vegas when i used to live there, I have video.

Me: Cool I'd love to see it!



So later in the summer we (college friends and me) are all drinking at his place and he brings up skydiving again- his pick up line at the bars was to tell people that I skydive...D-bag. Anyway, I ask to see those videos he has. He shuffles his things around and finally pulls a DVD out and pops it in. It was him doing a tandem. he was like "oh this is the wrong video, i dont know what i did with my other ones, but this was my first jump anyway"


Havent run into anything like that since. Love to hear the stories though, freakin hysterical.

Back to work...

So there I was...

Making friends and playing nice since 1983

[shropshire 0]

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Now I wonder if this guy is telling his buddies on his own forum, "Wow, I totally fooled this skydiver into thinking I'm a skydiver! He never caught on!"

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[NickDG 23]

You need to be careful about this because it works all kinds of ways . . .

One time I was coming out of a 7/11 store in the 80s and this big bearded biker guy stopped me and said, "I see the sticker on your car, you a jumper?"

So I said yeah, and he said he was too. He was a bit intimidating looking and I wasn't sure what scam was coming next. But we wound up having a few beers and indeed, his name was Harley, or something like that, and he was in the very first 8-way canopy stack.

Then just lately I was at a non-skydiver party in Arizona and one group over I heard someone mention skydiving. So I sidled over and there's this nice looking young girl talking about free flying. So I say, "I'm a jumper." And I get the big raised eyebrow.

"Where do you jump?" She asks. So I go, "All over, mostly in Southern California." "What do you jump? And I say, "Oh, I've got several rigs, and I'm a B.A.S.E. jumper too." Admittedly I was a little boozy and now she's backing away from me. And the more I tried to convince her I was really a jumper the lamer it was beginning to sound. The last thing I remember was chasing her down a hallway going, "Really, I'm a rigger and an Instructor too!"

NickD

[Dougiefresh 0]

Do you have to make it so obvious you're a whuffo? No one is buying it! I was with you until you gave the address... it just smacks of effort. Time in sport: 42 years! Yeah right! Go make a tandem, ya loser.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. --Douglas Adams

[NickDG 23]

LOL, I know Bill Deli, he's got more time in the Perris bathroom than you have in the sport . . .

NickD

[shropshire 0]

Now THAT is funny ...... Rigger, Instructor AND Stalker

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[Amazon 7]

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"Where do you jump?" She asks. So I go, "All over, mostly in Southern California." "What do you jump? And I say, "Oh, I've got several rigs, and I'm a B.A.S.E. jumper too." Admittedly I was a little boozy and now she's backing away from me. And the more I tried to convince her I was really a jumper the lamer it was beginning to sound. The last thing I remember was chasing her down a hallway going, "Really, I'm a rigger and an Instructor too!"

OK.. now that is some funny shit..... I dont care who you are



BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[DangerRoo 0]

YOU ALL have made my day!! thanks for all your stories, posting the old threads of others, and making me laugh till I felt I tears forming!!!

I'm sure one day I'll get the fun of having some of my own........

maybe its just that I'm still new, but listening to you long timers, or more experienced jumpers in the sport .... its freakin awesome!

(I.C.D#2 VP)
""I'm good with my purple penis straw" ~sky mama

[Dougiefresh 0]

Maybe you missed the smiley. I thought it was over the top enough to be obvious I was being facetious.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. --Douglas Adams

[caress 0]

I have only jumped once, and even I know that is 100% bullshit. I am okay being just myself-true -real -honest. I AM NOT A SKYDIVER YET, AND I CAN SAY THAT I HAD THE GUTS TO TRY IT AND KNOW I WANT TO DO IT SOMEMORE! I can also say that I have learned here what cant be taught at AFF from reading these forums. My condolences for having to work with such a big bullshiter-Caress

I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being
right.

[NickDG 23]

>>Maybe you missed the smiley. I thought it was over the top enough to be obvious I was being facetious.
Sorry . . .

I did, and it wasn't.

This means "I'm kidding "

This can mean everything from I'm with you, Bro, to go "F" yourself . . .

NickD

[grimmie 173]

Craig Girard has the all time funniest "I'm a skydiver" story. He was coming back from the World Cup one year and some guy next to him goes on and on about being a jumper. And of course Graig just eggs him on. He never did tell the guy he just won a gold medal and he saw through the BS. He let the guy have his glory. It's a great story, ask him about it if you guys see him.