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SkyyPunk

Wild Whuffo Stories

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Had a Chicago co-worker claim he skydives all the time. Says he was just out at Sandwich a couple weeks ago (Roger Nelson had moved his DZ to Ottawa several years earlier). That was my first clue he was a Wuffo-wanna-be.

I say "I thought the Sandwich DZ closed years ago?" Then he says, "Oh yeah, I have a buddy with a Piper at the airport who just takes us up for fun. We park our cars near a cornfield and land next to them.

I say "A Piper?? I've never jumped out of one of those, what's it like?". He says "It rocks, we take the door off, walk out on the wing and pretend we're surfing, but it's so cold at 20,000 feet." Asked him what kind of canopy he jumped; a Parabola or Trapezoid. He jumps a Trapezoid.

By this point I'm biting my lip trying to keep from busting out laughing. Ask him when he's going next, I'd love to go. But wouldn't you know it, his buddy's plane is getting worked on and don't know when he can go again.

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A friend of mine in Aus. who knew enough about skydiving by osmossis from hanging out with lots of skydivers, knew enough to call bullshit on a guy at her uni who claimed his first jump was a solo in a wingsuit from 20K

Apparently she made him look like a it - good call.

CJP

Gods don't kill people. People with Gods kill people

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I had a friend of mine (known to be a compulsive liar) tell me some amazing stories over the years.

I visited his house when he lived with his parents and I started talking about skydiving.

The story started out with how he used to fly a plane...and has been since the age of 7, when he was allowed to fly at the controls, alone with a little bit of ground training.

Then the story progressed to skydiving.
Him: "Yeah, I've gone a couple times, it's so sweet"
Me: "Really? you've been?"
Him: "Yeah, it was sweet, I opened the parachute like right before I hit the ground"
Me: "so you jumped alone?"
Him: "Hell yes, I wasn't gonna have some gay ass instructor on my back."
Me: so how high were you when you pulled?
Him: like...300 feet
Me: How could you tell?
Him: 'cause the plane was trying to land like right next to me.

anyway, the bullshit continued and then his dad came home and goes, "oh, you guys are talking about skydiving? Chris has always wanted to go but we just haven't had the chance yet"

then he stopped.

Side note: This is the same kid that told me the company let him put his parents' pre-fab home on the foundation, using the bulldozer all on his own


BE THE BUDDHA!

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i was walking around in a shoulder brace, since i dislocated my shoulder on a really bad landing... a young guy is like, aww, ali, i am so sorry you are such a wuss and your shoulder is so sore... i responded, it's all right, i am just taking care of it so i can jump again. he responds, oh, what did you do, jump off the steps wrong or something?

and i just told him that no, it was my aff graduation dive, i was jumping out of a plane at 13k and still managed to land my canopy... who exactly is the wuss? he coughs alot and says, oh, skydiving, i used to be a skydiving instructor...

i just laugh and walk the other way. :) i have offered twice to take him tandem since, and he just says, oh, i don't do that whole attached thing anymore...
life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.
(helen keller)

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then he stopped.

Side note: This is the same kid that told me the company let him put his parents' pre-fab home on the foundation, using the bulldozer all on his own ***

Gotta love the ones that insult your intelligence.

I have worked at different times over the years with: a light industrial machine assembler who claimed to be a professional shoot fighter and to have invented an adjustable camshaft for Chevrolet V-8's; an ironworker apprentice who claimed to know and regularly hang out with Shaquille O'neil; and a painters helper who claimed that, in addition to being quite close with all the members of the country band "Diamond Rio" (A band whose members all have mullets. Coincedence?), once on the side of the highway, a sherriff's deputy let him shoot a deer that had been hit by a car with the deputy's sidearm. In fact, as I recall, at every job I've ever had, there's always been that one one guy who was simply... the liar. I've also heard a whuffo skydiver in a bar claim that he sometimes jumps at Washington Dulles Int'l. I've heard enough that anymore I waste absolutely no time in pointing out the lies coming out of the liar's lie-hole.


Hey skyhi, check this out:

http://www.afn.org/skydive/sta/highperf.pdf

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I just ask what they think of the Icarus' new 8-Cell Spectre. Then the fun really begins.:P;):D



Hmmm, has there EVER been any canopies with an even number of cells made and/or tested, such as a 6 cell, 8 cell or 10 cell? If not, why not? Just curious... ;)
"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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So there was this guy named K-Bone who claimed to be a skydiver AND air traffic controller at LAX.........
Bob Marks

"-when you leave the airplane its all wrong til it goes right, its a whole different mindset, this is why you have system redundancy." Mattaman

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I just ask what they think of the Icarus' new 8-Cell Spectre. Then the fun really begins.:P;):D



Hmmm, has there EVER been any canopies with an even number of cells made and/or tested, such as a 6 cell, 8 cell or 10 cell? If not, why not? Just curious... ;)


Here's a 6-cell. 8-cell and 10-cell canopies also exist.

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I just heard a new one:

"Aussie-style skydive"

Apparently one guy jumps without a rig, one guy with a rig and it ends up like a Mr. Bill-Dropzone-the-movie style jump.

I politely told him that it was utter B.S.





Wow. Aussies are sooo cool.
But... I already knew that. A girl once told me she was offered a free tandemride in Australia. When the plane was at altitude she decided she didn't want to jump, but the tandemmaster threw her out of the plane anyway, without them being attached to eachother:o........
Then the tm then jumped after her, attached their harnesses in freefall and opened the parachute.

Is this the usual way to do a tandem in Australia?:D

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Wow. Aussies are sooo cool.
But... I already knew that. A girl once told me she was offered a free tandemride in Australia. When the plane was at altitude she decided she didn't want to jump, but the tandemmaster threw her out of the plane anyway, without them being attached to eachother:o........
Then the tm then jumped after her, attached their harnesses in freefall and opened the parachute.

Is this the usual way to do a tandem in Australia?:D



Not on mine, but those people put beetroot on their BK Whoppers. I thought they had poisoned me. Nothing surprises me from the Aussies. :D

Bob
Bob Marks

"-when you leave the airplane its all wrong til it goes right, its a whole different mindset, this is why you have system redundancy." Mattaman

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[Wow. Aussies are sooo cool.
But... I already knew that. A girl once told me she was offered a free tandemride in Australia. When the plane was at altitude she decided she didn't want to jump, but the tandemmaster threw her out of the plane anyway, without them being attached to eachother:o........
Then the tm then jumped after her, attached their harnesses in freefall and opened the parachute.

Is this the usual way to do a tandem in Australia?:D



:Ddunno about Australia, but it sounds suspiciously like what happened to Wesley Snipes in "Dropzone".... you know, the movie that makes whuffos think you can go from nothing to being able to do a night jump accuracy landing onto a building rooftop within a week
Skydiving: wasting fossil fuels just for fun.

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There are all this people who swear to me that they've seen a video of a video man who forgot completely to put his gear and they give me all the details about when he realise he has no gear on... Yeah right...:S



Ahem...

http://www.dropzone.com/forum/Skydiving_C1/Safety_and_Training_F2/Can_you_get_on_a_jump_plane_and_jump_without_a_rig_P256286
HF #682, Team Dirty Sanchez #227
“I simply hate, detest, loathe, despise, and abhor redundancy.”
- Not quite Oscar Wilde...

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Damn... I never actually believed the story and I still find hard to believe someone could get into a plane without any gear and nobody notices it.
Maybe in those times it was different but i still dont see how it could be possible.... Forgetting the chest strap, yes of course, but climbing in the plane without a very bulky gear????

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On a dive boat, I've walked up to jump off the boat without weights, fins, or a mask. Fortunately I only jumped once.

But I think if I left my rig off, I'd notice how incredibly comfortable I was on the ride up to altitude. And if the planeload of other jumpers didn't notice, I'd never come back there again.

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And if the planeload of other jumpers didn't notice, I'd never come back there again.



Too right. Unless you believe in reincarnation it'd be a good trick.


You'd probably be reincarnated as a flightless bird, like a penguin or an emu - just to piss you off.

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