Vallerina 2 #1 April 8, 2004 How much honesty do you like? Are there things that you don't want people do be honest with you about? (ie, I told this hot guy that if I looked goofy while dancing, don't tell me because I already know! It's rare that I don't want someone's honest opinion, however.)There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Daizey 0 #2 April 8, 2004 Im with you Val. I too like honesty. If you can't be honest with someone then somethings wrong. My goal in any relationship is to be so confortable with someone that we can say anything to one another-whether we're just being goofy, joking around, critical, or downright serious.... *daizey* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paige 0 #3 April 8, 2004 QuoteHow much honesty do you like? Are there things that you don't want people do be honest with you about? I like total honesty. I have had so many guys spring things on me last minute and brush it off as they forgot to tell me. Right, right, just be honest and grow a pair! I'm blunt and some people don't like that. If I have a problem with you and it is large enough, I'll tell you how I feel and why. Can't deal with that? I'll probably tell you to buzz off or just not speak to you. I try to keep drama to a min. I wish I had found a guy that was honest. So far I'm 0/too many If people were honest, not starting drama, and just caring about others instead of themselves, things would go much easier and trust/honesty wouldn't be second nature.Tunnel Pink Mafia Delegate www.TunnelPinkMafia.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #4 April 8, 2004 None. I want to be told that I'm good-looking and interesting. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Casie 0 #5 April 8, 2004 I like total & complete honesty as well. I do hold back at times (very little) when necessary for fear of rejection or emotional outbursts! I need to work on that one though~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Unstable 8 #6 April 8, 2004 Honesty in a relationship is an absolute must, but then again so is tact. Me personally, I am brutally honest when I need to be, but I wait for the right time. Usually no more than a day or so. What's the point of making a bad situation worse?=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites EricaH 0 #7 April 8, 2004 QuoteMe personally, I am brutally honest when I need to be, but I wait for the right time. Usually no more than a day or so. What's the point of making a bad situation worse? OMG this is so true!! There are so many points where honesty comes into play. If you are untrue, really, you are the only person that suffers. 2 stories. My b/f asked if I wanted to go out one night. I said I honestly didn't care, but would prob rather go out. He said "none of those girly mind trick things. What do you want to do?" I said no mind tricks will come out of my mouth. If I say the opposite of what I want & he agrees w/ me, there's no way I could possible be mad, I have to accept the bed I made & deal w/it. other story. goin to dinner w/ bunch o friends w/ my b/f. My ex was also going to be there. So, it would be the first time my b/f & ex were in the same country or even same room, but my b/f didn't know the ex was goin to be there. on the drive to the resturant, i had to tell myself to get up the balls to let him know, the situation would only be worse if he was suprised. finally, i told him that my ex would be there. he was like "ok, so?" just no biggie. i felt stupid for being so concerend, but relieved that it was in the open & all parties knowlegable. anyway.... brutal honesty is key. There is no can't. Only lack of knowledge or fear. Only you can fix your fear. PMS #227 (just like the TV show) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites PhillyKev 0 #8 April 8, 2004 Honest about what's currently going on. But please, ladies, don't tell your new bf about your past relationships. I don't care what they were like or how many of them there were, and I'd rather not know. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites lawrocket 3 #9 April 8, 2004 Brutal honesty? Well, here's the issue - never lie. But brutal honesty can sometimes involve giving too much information. Brutal honesty means telling a partner about how good another sex partner was. Honest? Yes. Relevant? Not necessarily. One past love was able to do something no other could do that cannot be learned. So, do you tell your current partner about that other one? Honesty means answering all questions truthfully. It does not necessarily mean full disclosure, since it can hurt feelings. But don't do anything that you would have to disclose. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites VectorBoy 0 #10 April 8, 2004 QuoteHonest about what's currently going on. But please, ladies, don't tell your new bf about your past relationships. I don't care what they were like or how many of them there were, and I'd rather not know. Unless one of them is an extremely jealous ex-con who is soon to be parolled from a manslaughter conviction. That should be on the " oh yeah BTW'...... list. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites PLFKING 3 #11 April 8, 2004 Quotebrutal honesty is key. My feelings exactly....but only on the major stuff. I'm not always that honest when it comes to " Does this make me look fat?" or "Do you like this shade of eye shadow?" QuoteBrutal honesty means telling a partner about how good another sex partner was. Honest? Yes. Relevant? Not necessarily. Only if they ask.....and then it's honesty. I would never start a conversation comparing a present lover to a previous one......but women do seem to enjoy asking that......I think just to watch us squirm. But if they really want to know.....then I tell them. The good thing is it sometimes turns into a coaching session. Don"When in doubt I whip it out, I got me a rock-and-roll band. It's a free-for-all." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites wmw999 2,122 #12 April 8, 2004 QuoteUnless one of them is an extremely jealous ex-con who is soon to be parolled from a manslaughter conviction. That should be on the " oh yeah BTW'...... list OMG -- is that what you were trying to tell me??? OK, so maybe I'm kidding. I'm all with the "honest but tactful" crowd, adding responsibility to the mix. Sometimes if someone doesn't ask, they don't want to know, and they don't need to know. And sometimes, even if they don't want to know, they need to. Like that speck of lettuce between their teeth BTW, if a woman asks you if the other lady looks fatter than she does, well, you're screwed. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites baa75 0 #13 April 8, 2004 I'm the brutally honest type. Maybe that comes from growing up with older sisters who don't think twice about telling you that you look like crap?? I'm going to be brutally honest so I see no reason why someone wouldn't be that way to me. My best friend is just that because I know she will always tell me honestly if I look stupid or am making a mistake, etc. My bf is used to me being the same way. I actually wish he would start speaking up more. Then again with his Mom & older sister maybe he was raised to keep his mouth shut?! BettyAnn Getting married? Check out my website! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Ron 7 #14 April 8, 2004 Enough that I have lost two relationships because I was honest when they asked me questions. One asked me if I thought her downsizing was a good idea...I told her no. She told me I should support ANY choices she makes...I asked "Even if I think its a bad idea?" She said ALL of her choices..I told her bye. The other tried to make me pick her or my friends (That used to be here friends also)...I told her that she was wrong in her disagreement with her old friends..(Cause she was)..Well that ended that one. I'd rather have honestly in my friends and in my relationships than lies just to make people feel good. Comeon...Those that read anything from me know how I feel. I don't sugar coat or lie to make people feel warm and fuzzy."No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson Papers, 334 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Orchid 0 #15 April 8, 2004 All relationships require maintenance: Trust, Communication, Honesty, and Accepting One’s change. Trust is an essential element...whether it may be husband/wife, friend, relation or parent, we need to know that we can rely on the other person. Communication is one of our most common activities, and yet, it is one which we pay the least attention to. The lack of effective communication is one of the most common and accepted causes of stress, especially in relationships, as it results in confusion, hostility and mistrust. Honesty is one of hardest thing to do, and yet it is the most important part of the relationship. If you could tell someone you love exactly how you feel and what you see…sure it may hurts the other person but that’s also part of communicating to one another. In nature, the only thing that is permanent is that everything changes, therefore it is important to our own happiness that we accept as a fact that "people changes". Some change for the better and some change for the worse. Just my 2 cents."Love is doing small things with great love." Lacrosse: Legally beating men with sticks since 1492 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Lindsey 0 #16 April 8, 2004 honest but not an open book. Some things are just MINE, and I don't always feel the need to tell everything I think or of every experience I've had. I like having some secrets, so I guess I'm not brutally honest. But if asked a direct question, I won't lie under oath. Otherwise it depends on the situation and how valuable that relationship is to me. I also don't want to hear that I look stupid when I dance....tact is appreciated sometimes, and I try to be tactful myself when I feel I MUST open my mouth. My friends tell me I'm not tactful sometimes...hmm. Don't know what's up with that. Peace~ Lindsey-- A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites QuickDraw 0 #17 April 8, 2004 You too huh ? I'll take brutal... but giving is better than receiving so i've been told. .. or was that anal sex ? -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites rogue108 0 #18 April 8, 2004 I prefer brutal honesty in relationships. I mean if you can't tell the person you love what is on your mind then I think there is something wrong. This is person who is supposed to be there for you through thick and thin, and I think that requires honesty. Too bad I don't seem to find people who are honest with me, especially about their feelings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Vallerina 2 #19 April 8, 2004 QuoteI don't sugar coat or lie to make people feel warm and fuzzy. That's pretty much how I feel and what I want (luckily, that's what I get!) Lying takes too much effort (you have to keep all of your lies straight, and that just gets confusing) Sugar coating also takes too much effort. It's very rare that I don't want someone's honest opinion, but that's usually because I already know the truth, and I don't need it hammered into me. So, does anyone get offended if their significant other says that their clothes are ugly, hair is bad, room is messy, etc etc?There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Daizey 0 #20 April 9, 2004 QuoteSo, does anyone get offended if their significant other says that their clothes are ugly, hair is bad, room is messy, etc etc? Nope cause im am comfortable enough with myself that if they told me they didn't like something about me, i could stick my tongue out at them and be on my merry way. haha Seriously. I would appreciate honesty in that sense, but just cause someone is honest doesn't mean i have to take offense to everything they say..though the sticking out the tongue may be childish, thats me...so be honest with me all you want, but Im still gonna be me. And I know if Im in a good enough relationship, thats going to be just fine... *daizey* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites flygirl03 0 #21 April 9, 2004 Brutal?? Yep, I have to agree with that. Sadly, many people can't handle it. I can't handle it myself sometimes but honesty is still a big priority for me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ earthbound misfit Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites piisfish 135 #22 April 9, 2004 everything has to be said... well, almost everything scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Vertifly 0 #23 April 9, 2004 "Brutal" just sounds too derogatory for me. So does the word "relationship" at the moment. On a serious note... Let's just say I think that if you can't be proud and honest about all things the things in your world, maybe being in a relationship isn't the best thing for you. Any takers? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Vallerina 2 #24 April 9, 2004 Okay, a better question (because I don't think people who like some dishonesty to feel better in a relationship will admit to it and post here), has dishonesty in previous relationships caused problems? Honesty is a big deal to me. My friends tend to be intelligent people who will tell you what they think (since they're intelligent, I tend to respect their opinions.) However, I knew a girl from the age of 4 or 5. We hung out everyday growing up, and we were still friends through high school. I tolerated her lies for a really long time. She lied about big stuff, small stuff...everything. Her friendship meant a lot to me, though, because she was there for me through many many many "rough" times. She was very loyal but very dishonest. She'd lie about the stupidest crap (people she made out with, "crazy" things she did, guys being interested in her, then she started lying to some of my guy friends)There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites wendybird 0 #25 April 9, 2004 If you always tell the truth, you never have to remember what you said. Truth can hurt. Lies hurt worse. Anyone who knows me well knows that I always attempt to be fair and honest in all of my relationships. Sometimes it's enough, sometimes it isn't. That's where you have to learn to pick and choose your battles.Wendy "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used u Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. 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Casie 0 #5 April 8, 2004 I like total & complete honesty as well. I do hold back at times (very little) when necessary for fear of rejection or emotional outbursts! I need to work on that one though~Porn Kitty WARNING: Goldschlager causes extreme emotional outbursts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unstable 8 #6 April 8, 2004 Honesty in a relationship is an absolute must, but then again so is tact. Me personally, I am brutally honest when I need to be, but I wait for the right time. Usually no more than a day or so. What's the point of making a bad situation worse?=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH 0 #7 April 8, 2004 QuoteMe personally, I am brutally honest when I need to be, but I wait for the right time. Usually no more than a day or so. What's the point of making a bad situation worse? OMG this is so true!! There are so many points where honesty comes into play. If you are untrue, really, you are the only person that suffers. 2 stories. My b/f asked if I wanted to go out one night. I said I honestly didn't care, but would prob rather go out. He said "none of those girly mind trick things. What do you want to do?" I said no mind tricks will come out of my mouth. If I say the opposite of what I want & he agrees w/ me, there's no way I could possible be mad, I have to accept the bed I made & deal w/it. other story. goin to dinner w/ bunch o friends w/ my b/f. My ex was also going to be there. So, it would be the first time my b/f & ex were in the same country or even same room, but my b/f didn't know the ex was goin to be there. on the drive to the resturant, i had to tell myself to get up the balls to let him know, the situation would only be worse if he was suprised. finally, i told him that my ex would be there. he was like "ok, so?" just no biggie. i felt stupid for being so concerend, but relieved that it was in the open & all parties knowlegable. anyway.... brutal honesty is key. There is no can't. Only lack of knowledge or fear. Only you can fix your fear. PMS #227 (just like the TV show) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #8 April 8, 2004 Honest about what's currently going on. But please, ladies, don't tell your new bf about your past relationships. I don't care what they were like or how many of them there were, and I'd rather not know. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #9 April 8, 2004 Brutal honesty? Well, here's the issue - never lie. But brutal honesty can sometimes involve giving too much information. Brutal honesty means telling a partner about how good another sex partner was. Honest? Yes. Relevant? Not necessarily. One past love was able to do something no other could do that cannot be learned. So, do you tell your current partner about that other one? Honesty means answering all questions truthfully. It does not necessarily mean full disclosure, since it can hurt feelings. But don't do anything that you would have to disclose. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VectorBoy 0 #10 April 8, 2004 QuoteHonest about what's currently going on. But please, ladies, don't tell your new bf about your past relationships. I don't care what they were like or how many of them there were, and I'd rather not know. Unless one of them is an extremely jealous ex-con who is soon to be parolled from a manslaughter conviction. That should be on the " oh yeah BTW'...... list. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFKING 3 #11 April 8, 2004 Quotebrutal honesty is key. My feelings exactly....but only on the major stuff. I'm not always that honest when it comes to " Does this make me look fat?" or "Do you like this shade of eye shadow?" QuoteBrutal honesty means telling a partner about how good another sex partner was. Honest? Yes. Relevant? Not necessarily. Only if they ask.....and then it's honesty. I would never start a conversation comparing a present lover to a previous one......but women do seem to enjoy asking that......I think just to watch us squirm. But if they really want to know.....then I tell them. The good thing is it sometimes turns into a coaching session. Don"When in doubt I whip it out, I got me a rock-and-roll band. It's a free-for-all." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,122 #12 April 8, 2004 QuoteUnless one of them is an extremely jealous ex-con who is soon to be parolled from a manslaughter conviction. That should be on the " oh yeah BTW'...... list OMG -- is that what you were trying to tell me??? OK, so maybe I'm kidding. I'm all with the "honest but tactful" crowd, adding responsibility to the mix. Sometimes if someone doesn't ask, they don't want to know, and they don't need to know. And sometimes, even if they don't want to know, they need to. Like that speck of lettuce between their teeth BTW, if a woman asks you if the other lady looks fatter than she does, well, you're screwed. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baa75 0 #13 April 8, 2004 I'm the brutally honest type. Maybe that comes from growing up with older sisters who don't think twice about telling you that you look like crap?? I'm going to be brutally honest so I see no reason why someone wouldn't be that way to me. My best friend is just that because I know she will always tell me honestly if I look stupid or am making a mistake, etc. My bf is used to me being the same way. I actually wish he would start speaking up more. Then again with his Mom & older sister maybe he was raised to keep his mouth shut?! BettyAnn Getting married? Check out my website! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ron 7 #14 April 8, 2004 Enough that I have lost two relationships because I was honest when they asked me questions. One asked me if I thought her downsizing was a good idea...I told her no. She told me I should support ANY choices she makes...I asked "Even if I think its a bad idea?" She said ALL of her choices..I told her bye. The other tried to make me pick her or my friends (That used to be here friends also)...I told her that she was wrong in her disagreement with her old friends..(Cause she was)..Well that ended that one. I'd rather have honestly in my friends and in my relationships than lies just to make people feel good. Comeon...Those that read anything from me know how I feel. I don't sugar coat or lie to make people feel warm and fuzzy."No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson Papers, 334 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Orchid 0 #15 April 8, 2004 All relationships require maintenance: Trust, Communication, Honesty, and Accepting One’s change. Trust is an essential element...whether it may be husband/wife, friend, relation or parent, we need to know that we can rely on the other person. Communication is one of our most common activities, and yet, it is one which we pay the least attention to. The lack of effective communication is one of the most common and accepted causes of stress, especially in relationships, as it results in confusion, hostility and mistrust. Honesty is one of hardest thing to do, and yet it is the most important part of the relationship. If you could tell someone you love exactly how you feel and what you see…sure it may hurts the other person but that’s also part of communicating to one another. In nature, the only thing that is permanent is that everything changes, therefore it is important to our own happiness that we accept as a fact that "people changes". Some change for the better and some change for the worse. Just my 2 cents."Love is doing small things with great love." Lacrosse: Legally beating men with sticks since 1492 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindsey 0 #16 April 8, 2004 honest but not an open book. Some things are just MINE, and I don't always feel the need to tell everything I think or of every experience I've had. I like having some secrets, so I guess I'm not brutally honest. But if asked a direct question, I won't lie under oath. Otherwise it depends on the situation and how valuable that relationship is to me. I also don't want to hear that I look stupid when I dance....tact is appreciated sometimes, and I try to be tactful myself when I feel I MUST open my mouth. My friends tell me I'm not tactful sometimes...hmm. Don't know what's up with that. Peace~ Lindsey-- A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QuickDraw 0 #17 April 8, 2004 You too huh ? I'll take brutal... but giving is better than receiving so i've been told. .. or was that anal sex ? -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rogue108 0 #18 April 8, 2004 I prefer brutal honesty in relationships. I mean if you can't tell the person you love what is on your mind then I think there is something wrong. This is person who is supposed to be there for you through thick and thin, and I think that requires honesty. Too bad I don't seem to find people who are honest with me, especially about their feelings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #19 April 8, 2004 QuoteI don't sugar coat or lie to make people feel warm and fuzzy. That's pretty much how I feel and what I want (luckily, that's what I get!) Lying takes too much effort (you have to keep all of your lies straight, and that just gets confusing) Sugar coating also takes too much effort. It's very rare that I don't want someone's honest opinion, but that's usually because I already know the truth, and I don't need it hammered into me. So, does anyone get offended if their significant other says that their clothes are ugly, hair is bad, room is messy, etc etc?There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Daizey 0 #20 April 9, 2004 QuoteSo, does anyone get offended if their significant other says that their clothes are ugly, hair is bad, room is messy, etc etc? Nope cause im am comfortable enough with myself that if they told me they didn't like something about me, i could stick my tongue out at them and be on my merry way. haha Seriously. I would appreciate honesty in that sense, but just cause someone is honest doesn't mean i have to take offense to everything they say..though the sticking out the tongue may be childish, thats me...so be honest with me all you want, but Im still gonna be me. And I know if Im in a good enough relationship, thats going to be just fine... *daizey* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flygirl03 0 #21 April 9, 2004 Brutal?? Yep, I have to agree with that. Sadly, many people can't handle it. I can't handle it myself sometimes but honesty is still a big priority for me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ earthbound misfit Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
piisfish 135 #22 April 9, 2004 everything has to be said... well, almost everything scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vertifly 0 #23 April 9, 2004 "Brutal" just sounds too derogatory for me. So does the word "relationship" at the moment. On a serious note... Let's just say I think that if you can't be proud and honest about all things the things in your world, maybe being in a relationship isn't the best thing for you. Any takers? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #24 April 9, 2004 Okay, a better question (because I don't think people who like some dishonesty to feel better in a relationship will admit to it and post here), has dishonesty in previous relationships caused problems? Honesty is a big deal to me. My friends tend to be intelligent people who will tell you what they think (since they're intelligent, I tend to respect their opinions.) However, I knew a girl from the age of 4 or 5. We hung out everyday growing up, and we were still friends through high school. I tolerated her lies for a really long time. She lied about big stuff, small stuff...everything. Her friendship meant a lot to me, though, because she was there for me through many many many "rough" times. She was very loyal but very dishonest. She'd lie about the stupidest crap (people she made out with, "crazy" things she did, guys being interested in her, then she started lying to some of my guy friends)There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wendybird 0 #25 April 9, 2004 If you always tell the truth, you never have to remember what you said. Truth can hurt. Lies hurt worse. Anyone who knows me well knows that I always attempt to be fair and honest in all of my relationships. Sometimes it's enough, sometimes it isn't. That's where you have to learn to pick and choose your battles.Wendy "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used u Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
