dbattman

Boy, I thought my company was getting cheap. Poor Dove doesn't even get a hotel room.

The UN headquarters in Baghdad was bombed, no make that demolished, only a few weeks ago. If they're trying to 'destabilise the US imperialism' why attack the UN? It's not just us, it's everyone. Shall we recall the foiled plot to fly an airliner into the Eiffel Tower in 1994?

Night Jumps are planned for September 12 at Skydive Monroe, Atlanta Georgia. There should be a nifty banner in the corner advertising this, but I never learned how to make one so use your imagination! Call the DZ for more info.

There is, however, an expectation to secure in your homes, your papers, and your person against search and seizure. Although they have become electronic, I would still consider your bank accounts, computers, credit accounts and similar things 'your papers.' For those of you reading, check out your credit reports if you have not already. You might be suprised how inaccurate they can be. Gee, I wonder what else might be inaccurate?

That's a quote. Clark Howard on 750 WSB shortly after 9/11. That summed up his position about how he would not be afraid to get on an airline, or go to the mall, or the movie theatre, etc. Myself, I was in the airport the second day they resumed commercial flights. I heard that line a few days later and it stuck with me.

Oh really? You mean for years I've been having my bank accounts checked, credit cards purchases catalogued, library records run to see if I've checked out any 'subversive' materials? How about your shoppers club card- did you buy rolling papers last month? Hey, I've got a thing for porno rentals. Oops- that puts me in a higher risk catagory. Step to the side. Hey, my name shares the first four letters with a suspected terrorist and I checked out a book by Rashid Mohammed Hock-Hock. CODE RED! CODE RED! Oh, and by the way, this is not 'sorry, you can't fly.' This is 'lie down on the ground while we slap the cuffs on you.' You want a phone call? Oh, well based on the policy in place this day we're holding you incognito. No phone call, no lawyer, nothing. Best of luck to you- hope your house is in order. The government has been trying to data mine you for years and it has been stopped everytime- so far. Echelon, Carnivore, Total Information Awareness- it's 1984+20. If you want to keep living in a free republic you need to accept certain risks and some rather scary possibilities. We did not become the home of the brave because we were free. We became the land of the free because we were brave.

String him along! Have some fun!

Don't forget to check your credit report, return your adult rentals, pay your parking tickets, and mow your lawn every two weeks. Papers please

Oh please oh please oh please! "Smut" by Tom Lehrer, master of musical satire [sing to the tune of a rousing march] (pre-song banter) I do have a cause though. It is obscenity. I'm for it. Unfortunately the civil liberties types who are fighting this issue have to fight it owing to the nature of the laws as a matter of freedom of speech and stifling of free expression and so on but we no what's really involved: dirty books are fun. That's all there is to it. But you can't get up in a court and say that I suppose. It's simply a matter of freedom of pleasure, a right which is not guaranteed by the Constitution unfortunately. Anyway, since people seem to be marching for their causes these days I have here a march for mine. It's called... (que music) Smut! Give me smut and nothing but! A dirty novel I can't shut, If it's uncut, and unsubt- le. I've never quibbled If it was ribald, I would devour where others merely nibbled. As the judge remarked the day that he acquitted my Aunt Hortense, "To be smut It must be ut- Terly without redeeming social importance." Por- Nographic pictures I adore. Indecent magazines galore, I like them more If they're hard core. (Bring on the obscene movies, murals, postcards, neckties, samplers, stained-glass windows, tattoos, anything! More, more, I'm still not satisfied!) Stories of tortures Used by debauchers, Lurid, licentious, and vile, Make me smile. Novels that pander To my taste for candor Give me a pleasure sublime. (Let's face it, I love slime.) All books can be indecent books Though recent books are bolder, For filth (I'm glad to say) is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, Everything is lewd. (I could tell you things about Peter Pan, And the Wizard of Oz, there's a dirty old man!) I thrill To any book like Fanny Hill, And I suppose I always will, If it is swill And really fil thy. Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately? I've got a hobby: rereading Lady Chatterley. But now they're trying to take it all away from us unless We take a stand, and hand in hand we fight for freedom of the press. In other words, Smut! (I love it) Ah, the adventures of a slut. Oh, I'm a market they can't glut, I don't know what Compares with smut. Hip hip hooray! Let's hear it for the Supreme Court! Don't let them take it away!

'Big Steve' has blown up several Heatwaves. Of course, he's called Big Steve for a reason. He's got quite a nice collection of wallhangings now :)

So that's why the First Officer always does the walk-around!

Get ahold of a copy of "How to be Invisible." It is absolutely fascinating.

This is absolutely correct. I have flow DOZENS of times with my rig and I have never had an issue with security. I've had the suitcase opened a few times for random checks and only once or twice because they wanted to see what was inside. Once it was the closing pin that caught their attention. Yeah, yeah- someone is going to post about 'that one time at xxxxxx airport.' How many of these have been posted in the last two years? 4, 5, maybe 10 tops? Just put it on the belt, walk through, and pick it up on the other side.

Even smaller world- my DZ sold it to Aggieland a year or so ago.

The fastest and cheapest way to do this is to save up the money ahead of time and do it over a few days or weekends. I see alot of people that come out once a month or so to do AFF and they end up repeating a number of the intermediate jumps because they need to relearn. Also remember that this is a muscle memory sport. You must practice on your own. Get down on the ground and hold that arch. Get on the creepers and arch. Stand up and stick out your wang- arch. Oh, and relax.

Do you have a leak somewhere?

What probably happened is the legstrap loosened up just a little bit in the plane. I don't mean lotsa slack loose, but just not as snug as when you boarded. The freefall can cause the straps to flap around just a little bit against your legs and it does feel like one of them has come undone. I used to get the same thing back when I first started. Snug them up just a bit on jump run and you'll get used to it.

Did I mention how much I love Oreo cookies? Oreos! Oreos! Oreos!

What type of work are ya doing now Dove? Still in the sports arena?

How many freefliers does it take to change a lightbulb? Six- one to screw it in, four to shoot video, and one to mix the soundtrack.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a dietician or personal trainer. The only effective method of long-term weight control I have found successful is discipline, diet, sweat, suffer, and SUCK IT UP. And yes, I spent a good portion of my young teenage/adult life as a fatty. Having said that, here's a few things I've learned over many, many years of constant fighting to maintain weight (your opinions may vary): You need to make it a part of your daily life for the long term. That means finding a gym or studio near your house or on the way home from work, not out of the way so you can use that as an excuse. A good mix of aerobic exercise and weight training is essential. Try to do 2 or 3 hours of weights and another 2 or 3 of aerobic exercise. If you can't do anything else, get out and powerwalk. I mean swing-the-arms-work-the-heart powerwalk, not a beach stroll. You don't need to collapse on a treadmill to get in shape. This take a while, so be disciplined and don't give up. Class aerobics are quite fun and challenging. I hate running in place or climbing a ladder that goes nowhere and working with a group keeps your morale up. The scenery can be nice as well. Stretching is very important. If you learn some yoga poses and do them a few times a week you will be amazed at how challenging, physical, and rewarding it is. Take a good look at the other guys in the gym. See the ones grunting and swinging the weights around? Don't be like them. Any monkey can grab a weight and throw it around until something snaps. Pick a good weight that you can control for multiple full sets of 10 or 12 reps without throwing it around. The last two should be very challenging. I personally have gotten much better results with slower, controlled, disciplined movements. There is no magic diet. Eat healthy and eat often. Mix in the treats (a small pack of Oreos or M&Ms a few times a week) and you won't be deprived or get too many cravings. Unlike the Atkins/Hollywood diet/magic fu-fu dust things that work short-term, this is a long-term disciplined solution. Did everyone catch that? Just in case you missed it the last three or four times, discipline. And lastly (god, I can't believe I'm saying this), cut out most of the beer until you get in shape. Yes, yes, I hear you booing but it helps A LOT.

Whatever is free.

Uh, yeah. What she said.

Tecumseh has a bunch of wineries not too far from Perris. It's close enough that even you should be able to find your way back to the DZ As for myself, the darker, heavier, oaky vintages are my favorites. Something with lots of body that just screams "WINE WINE WINE." I've never been a fan of whites.

To quote the immortal philosopher Tom Lehr: It's so nice to have integrity I'll tell ya why. If you really have integrity It means your price is very high! So remember when you start to preach And moralize, That we all are in the game and brother it's name Is COMPROMISE!