kansasskydiver 0 #26 March 25, 2004 Really depended on the person I guess. If it was someone I have been married to and cherish our relationship and something happened, then I'd probably quit skydiving. Though if it were just a casual relationship then I'd tell them to take up golf and get over it. Although all too many whuffo/skydiver couples break up because of A.I.D.S Altitude induced divorce syndrom<--- See look, pink dolphins DO exist! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyinghonu 0 #27 March 25, 2004 I'm married to a guy who does not skydive and has NO desire to . He supports my love for it but has his fair share of moods when I spend all day at the DZ. If the hubby ever gave me such an ultimatum (whether it be about skydiving or anything else that makes me soooooooooo happy), he would not be the person I thought I married. I think the same would be true about me if I ever gave him such an ultimatum. I don't think I would leave him but I would NOT give up the sport either...it would be time for some good ole' marriage counseling . "Excuse me while I kiss the sky..." - Jimi Hendrix Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #28 March 25, 2004 I've seen that a lot. Whenever someone tells me that they are getting married, I always ask them how much they want for their gear. The process works like this: "My mom wants us to come to dinner. Can you skip skydiving this weekend?" "Joe is having his 30th birthday party. Can you skip skydiving this weekend?" "Something will be occurring every weekend for the rest of your life and since skydiving doesn't matter to me, can you skip skydiving those weekends too?" There is always a reason that would make you be a heartless ingrate for not skipping it this weekend. Then, eventually there is the question. "Well, gee...you haven't been skydiving in 3 months, why don't you just sell your gear? We could really use the money for . It would be for us." If you don't sell your gear and buy "x", then you are a selfish idiot and not concerned about "us". Somehow, doing what you want makes you selfish, but doing what others want does not make them selfish. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #29 March 25, 2004 QuoteI was chatting to some of my whuffo mates about this recently... they just couldn't understand it... "How can you choose a sport over someone you care for?" Quote You're not choosing a "sport" over someone you care for. You're choosing YOURSELF. If you're with someone who wants to change who you are, then you're not being true to yourself. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites flyinghonu 0 #30 March 25, 2004 QuoteQuoteI was chatting to some of my whuffo mates about this recently... they just couldn't understand it... "How can you choose a sport over someone you care for?" Quote You're not choosing a "sport" over someone you care for. You're choosing YOURSELF. If you're with someone who wants to change who you are, then you're not being true to yourself. Well said "Excuse me while I kiss the sky..." - Jimi Hendrix Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Fast 0 #31 March 25, 2004 QuoteQuoteI don't date whuffo's. Same here. Kinda limits the number of fish in the pool and extends the amount of time I'm "single" - but I think the relationship would be better and last longer because we'd share the same passion. That is so much easier for the ladies to accomplish than the guys, just based on a pure number of each that skydive. At least around my DZ~D Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me. Swooping is taking one last poke at the bear before escaping it's cave - davelepka Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites outrager 6 #32 March 25, 2004 Yo ! Such an ultimatum - about skydiving or fishing or playing golf - is a reason enough to break up ASAP. You cannot have a healthy relationship with a person who demands you to give up whatever passion you have. If you try to stay you will inevitably end up with conscious or subconscious negative feelings towards the person you assume to love. The only way it may work out is if skydiving wasn't your passion in the first place. bsbd! Yuri. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites eeneR 1 #33 March 25, 2004 Well there is a time and a place where ultimatiums are ok....and I am only refering to when one's life is at risk. If I had become a danger to myself and those around me, then it would be a totally different story. As far as I am concerned, when one's life is at risk...all bets are off..... But if that is not the case, they can bite me heeheeShe is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jib 0 #34 March 25, 2004 I think there are two questions. First, would you even TRY to give up skydiving if someone special asked you to? If so, do you really think you could stay away? I think I could try, but I'd always yearn for the sky every time I saw a cloud. On the other hand, my secretary notices if I haven't jumped for even a few weeks. So, I dunno. -------------------------------------------------- the depth of his depravity sickens me. -- Jerry Falwell, People v. Larry Flynt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Dumpster 0 #35 March 25, 2004 QuoteMy opinion is this. . .if the person loves you and you love them, they will not hinder your dreams and you will not hinder theirs. You compliment each other and everything flows from that - a person putting an ultimatum on you is doing it for their own selfish reasons and does not truly love you. . .therefore should not be the person of your dreams. . . Absolutely - The wife and I have had our challenges regarding this sport, but she never has and (hopefully) never will give me that ultimatum. If she ever does, I would quit the relationship. (And she knows that-) Not for love of the sport, but for the principal of it all. If they love you, they won't ask you to quit something you love. What we did was work out a happy medium. So I don't jump as much as I'd like to, but I still get to jump one or two days a week. And I do get to spend more money on my motorcycle. And riding is something we both enjoy very much. Now if I can talk her into letting me buy that new rig!!!! Easy Does It Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites riddler 0 #36 March 25, 2004 Funny thing about skydiving. It would never ask me to give up a relationship for it. So who loves me more? All you girls that say you don't date whuffos - could you do the guys a favor and get all your girlfriends in the sport? When we get to about 50/50, all the guys will finally have this option too.Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites DJL 232 #37 March 25, 2004 Quoteif the person you are with right now, spouse or significant other, gave you and ultimatum, If the person I was with gave me an ultimatum about ANYTHING (except maybe my crack habit) I'd say, "See ya later.""I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites VectorBoy 0 #38 March 25, 2004 QuoteYo ! Such an ultimatum - about skydiving or fishing or playing golf - is a reason enough to break up ASAP. You cannot have a healthy relationship with a person who demands you to give up whatever passion you have. If you try to stay you will inevitably end up with conscious or subconscious negative feelings towards the person you assume to love. The only way it may work out is if skydiving wasn't your passion in the first place. bsbd! Yuri. Right on, At this point its not about a relationship its about CONTROL. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites ZoneRat 0 #39 March 25, 2004 Quote If the hubby ever gave me such an ultimatum (whether it be about skydiving or anything else that makes me soooooooooo happy), he would not be the person I thought I married. . By the same token, you are not the same person he married since you started skydiving either. He didn't know he was marrying a spouse that would be gone every weekend. My ST&A said that at the PIA conferance statistics were given that showed the average skydiving career to be 5 years. Should one sacrifice a (theoretically) life long marriage for something that typically lasts 5 years?“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophies.” Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites KrisFlyZ 0 #40 March 25, 2004 Quote Such an ultimatum - about skydiving or fishing or playing golf - is a reason enough to break up ASAP. You cannot have a healthy relationship with a person who demands you to give up whatever passion you have. Not really. If an ultimatum were issued about golf or fishing then yes it would be a unhealthy relationship you are in. However skydiving is different. To a person that does not want to be in a relationship and have to deal with serious injury or death of their SO, handing out such an ultimatum is perfectly reasonable. Kris. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites kitof1976 0 #41 March 25, 2004 Well for me it's the opposite... I would never date a skychic! (not that I date much I am married anyways..) But seriously I would hate to have the exact same passions as my mate/wife... We would get on each others nerves real soon... The whole dating thing with a skychic might be fun for a few months... but I don't think that most skydiving couples would last a life time together. To tell you the truth I am kind of glad that my wife is a whuffo eventhough she did one tandem a while back... She said she understood why I do it but that it was not for her... I love that time at the DZ by myself... It's my time. And I don't have to work on a relationship when I am there. All I do at the DZ is having fun! No drama, no maintenance, no nothing. I wouldn't want to change that. Of course I don't get to spend every weekend at the DZ but that's ok with me. I believe if you are in a relationship, it's only 50% about you. But I would chose skydiving in a heart beat if she wanted more that her 50%... "We see the world just the way we are... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #42 March 25, 2004 QuoteShould one sacrifice a (theoretically) life long marriage for something that typically lasts 5 years? Based on the divorce rate, I'd say life-long is a little optimistic. However, what if you stay married for 10 years? She's now ten years older. You'd probably need to get divorced and find a younger one anyway. A new rig too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites ACMESkydiver 0 #43 March 25, 2004 No way is skydiving more important than my husband and kids. We've had our talks about it, and I never jump on the weekends (Except 1 Saturday morning a month when he is gone on drill and the kids are at grandma's). I won't take family time when we have little enough of it as it is...I jump weekdays or on Friday evenings when kids are at grandma's. I love skydiving with a passion, but first off, if it came down to a 'no more' situation because of our disagreements, then yeah, counseling. That would be the same as any sport/hobby. If it came down to not being able to do it because my husband was hurt and couldn't continue on in the sport, my rig would be up for sale ASAP. If we had to move somewhere that wasn't near a DZ to better our family situation, so be it. I'd jump now and then, and only supervised for safety. -And if I REALLY started sucking so bad that it looked like I was becoming dangerous, I'd get some serious coaching, or give it up. I have too many people that are dependant upon my life to risk it beyond the basic throwing myself out of a plane...also why I won't do CRW or BASE or big ways or any of that. It's not worth the added risk for me.~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Malfunction 0 #44 March 25, 2004 Strange that this poll should come up now. A few summers ago, this exact thing happened to me (in fact, I briefly mentioned it in the "What did you give up..." thread. When faced with any untimatum, I always choose the decision for me; it could be skydiving, Warhammer, Motorcycles, X-Box, Drinking (although I did give up illegal substances, but that was "give them up or go to jail"). Thinking back, I would have to say that if I knew then what I know now, I may have changed my mind. There is another post about giving up jumping, and that post got me thinking too. If I were burned out of jumping when confronted, I would have given up jumping. But then I remember how much of an abusive #&%^$ she was and don't regret my decision. When you find the person of your dreams, the person that you know is right for you, you will never have to make this decision. I truly believe that, and that is why no ultimatum makes it very far with me. I may miss the company and companionship, but I have had MANY airgasms... There is only one ultimatum that could get me to quit FOR GOOD (I pray that my son nor his mother ever reads this thread) and that is my son asking me to. I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to say it. - Voltaire Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Bigwallmaster 0 #45 March 25, 2004 I have to agree with Nightingale here. If you decide to give up something you love for another person, then your overall happiness is going to be affected. Deep down you will not be truly satisfied with your life. That could lead to big trouble down the road. I don't know about you guys, but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who felt as if something was "missing" from their life. Someone who wants you to give up the other things you love in life, simply to focus all of your time on the relationship, is being selfish and egocentric. Period. cheers, J.P. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SkyDekker 1,129 #46 March 25, 2004 If my wife had a valid reason for the ultimatum I would definitely have the conversation with her and see where that goes. My wife and soon to be born baby are more important to me than anything else in life. To me being in a relationship means doing anything to make my partner as happy and comfortable as possible. We already compromise on weekends and there are days I don't skydive so we can spend time together, and I love those days. If she gave me that ultimatum just to spite me, than obviously there are already some other issues at play. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skyyhi 0 #47 March 25, 2004 QuoteWell said. You going up to Elsi this weekend? Actually no. . .I am going to Perris this weekend for two-way skills camp with MJ. . .more learning. . . I might be around there on Sunday, but haven't really decided yet. . .trying to save some money. . .________________________________________ Take risks not to escape life… but to prevent life from escaping. ~ A bumper sticker at the DZ FGF #6 Darcy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Vallerina 2 #48 March 25, 2004 QuoteTo me being in a relationship means doing anything to make my partner as happy and comfortable as possible. Well put! There really are valid reasons that whuffos want their partners to quit skydiving (financial, safety, etc.) QuoteIf she gave me that ultimatum just to spite me, than obviously there are already some other issues at play. And I think that's what the poll is missing: if it's an ultimatum to do something actual (as in, if a married couple is about to declare bankruptcy), of if it's an ultimatum for selfish reasons (ie, whuffo tells partner they're not spending enough money on them.)There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skyyhi 0 #49 March 25, 2004 QuoteThat is so much easier for the ladies to accomplish than the guys, just based on a pure number of each that skydive. At least around my DZ Dude, you need to come to Elsinore. . .we filled an entire plane with nearly all women. . .there was only 3 guys on the plane and it wasn't even a special women's day at the DZ. . .even Karl, one of the DZO's and pilot, was impressed. . .lol________________________________________ Take risks not to escape life… but to prevent life from escaping. ~ A bumper sticker at the DZ FGF #6 Darcy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites ACMESkydiver 0 #50 March 25, 2004 QuoteQuoteTo me being in a relationship means doing anything to make my partner as happy and comfortable as possible. Well put! There really are valid reasons that whuffos want their partners to quit skydiving (financial, safety, etc.) QuoteIf she gave me that ultimatum just to spite me, than obviously there are already some other issues at play. And I think that's what the poll is missing: if it's an ultimatum to do something actual (as in, if a married couple is about to declare bankruptcy), of if it's an ultimatum for selfish reasons (ie, whuffo tells partner they're not spending enough money on them.) There ya go. ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 4 Next Page 2 of 4 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. 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flyinghonu 0 #30 March 25, 2004 QuoteQuoteI was chatting to some of my whuffo mates about this recently... they just couldn't understand it... "How can you choose a sport over someone you care for?" Quote You're not choosing a "sport" over someone you care for. You're choosing YOURSELF. If you're with someone who wants to change who you are, then you're not being true to yourself. Well said "Excuse me while I kiss the sky..." - Jimi Hendrix Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Fast 0 #31 March 25, 2004 QuoteQuoteI don't date whuffo's. Same here. Kinda limits the number of fish in the pool and extends the amount of time I'm "single" - but I think the relationship would be better and last longer because we'd share the same passion. That is so much easier for the ladies to accomplish than the guys, just based on a pure number of each that skydive. At least around my DZ~D Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me. Swooping is taking one last poke at the bear before escaping it's cave - davelepka Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites outrager 6 #32 March 25, 2004 Yo ! Such an ultimatum - about skydiving or fishing or playing golf - is a reason enough to break up ASAP. You cannot have a healthy relationship with a person who demands you to give up whatever passion you have. If you try to stay you will inevitably end up with conscious or subconscious negative feelings towards the person you assume to love. The only way it may work out is if skydiving wasn't your passion in the first place. bsbd! Yuri. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites eeneR 1 #33 March 25, 2004 Well there is a time and a place where ultimatiums are ok....and I am only refering to when one's life is at risk. If I had become a danger to myself and those around me, then it would be a totally different story. As far as I am concerned, when one's life is at risk...all bets are off..... But if that is not the case, they can bite me heeheeShe is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jib 0 #34 March 25, 2004 I think there are two questions. First, would you even TRY to give up skydiving if someone special asked you to? If so, do you really think you could stay away? I think I could try, but I'd always yearn for the sky every time I saw a cloud. On the other hand, my secretary notices if I haven't jumped for even a few weeks. So, I dunno. -------------------------------------------------- the depth of his depravity sickens me. -- Jerry Falwell, People v. Larry Flynt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Dumpster 0 #35 March 25, 2004 QuoteMy opinion is this. . .if the person loves you and you love them, they will not hinder your dreams and you will not hinder theirs. You compliment each other and everything flows from that - a person putting an ultimatum on you is doing it for their own selfish reasons and does not truly love you. . .therefore should not be the person of your dreams. . . Absolutely - The wife and I have had our challenges regarding this sport, but she never has and (hopefully) never will give me that ultimatum. If she ever does, I would quit the relationship. (And she knows that-) Not for love of the sport, but for the principal of it all. If they love you, they won't ask you to quit something you love. What we did was work out a happy medium. So I don't jump as much as I'd like to, but I still get to jump one or two days a week. And I do get to spend more money on my motorcycle. And riding is something we both enjoy very much. Now if I can talk her into letting me buy that new rig!!!! Easy Does It Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites riddler 0 #36 March 25, 2004 Funny thing about skydiving. It would never ask me to give up a relationship for it. So who loves me more? All you girls that say you don't date whuffos - could you do the guys a favor and get all your girlfriends in the sport? When we get to about 50/50, all the guys will finally have this option too.Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites DJL 232 #37 March 25, 2004 Quoteif the person you are with right now, spouse or significant other, gave you and ultimatum, If the person I was with gave me an ultimatum about ANYTHING (except maybe my crack habit) I'd say, "See ya later.""I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites VectorBoy 0 #38 March 25, 2004 QuoteYo ! Such an ultimatum - about skydiving or fishing or playing golf - is a reason enough to break up ASAP. You cannot have a healthy relationship with a person who demands you to give up whatever passion you have. If you try to stay you will inevitably end up with conscious or subconscious negative feelings towards the person you assume to love. The only way it may work out is if skydiving wasn't your passion in the first place. bsbd! Yuri. Right on, At this point its not about a relationship its about CONTROL. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites ZoneRat 0 #39 March 25, 2004 Quote If the hubby ever gave me such an ultimatum (whether it be about skydiving or anything else that makes me soooooooooo happy), he would not be the person I thought I married. . By the same token, you are not the same person he married since you started skydiving either. He didn't know he was marrying a spouse that would be gone every weekend. My ST&A said that at the PIA conferance statistics were given that showed the average skydiving career to be 5 years. Should one sacrifice a (theoretically) life long marriage for something that typically lasts 5 years?“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophies.” Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites KrisFlyZ 0 #40 March 25, 2004 Quote Such an ultimatum - about skydiving or fishing or playing golf - is a reason enough to break up ASAP. You cannot have a healthy relationship with a person who demands you to give up whatever passion you have. Not really. If an ultimatum were issued about golf or fishing then yes it would be a unhealthy relationship you are in. However skydiving is different. To a person that does not want to be in a relationship and have to deal with serious injury or death of their SO, handing out such an ultimatum is perfectly reasonable. Kris. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites kitof1976 0 #41 March 25, 2004 Well for me it's the opposite... I would never date a skychic! (not that I date much I am married anyways..) But seriously I would hate to have the exact same passions as my mate/wife... We would get on each others nerves real soon... The whole dating thing with a skychic might be fun for a few months... but I don't think that most skydiving couples would last a life time together. To tell you the truth I am kind of glad that my wife is a whuffo eventhough she did one tandem a while back... She said she understood why I do it but that it was not for her... I love that time at the DZ by myself... It's my time. And I don't have to work on a relationship when I am there. All I do at the DZ is having fun! No drama, no maintenance, no nothing. I wouldn't want to change that. Of course I don't get to spend every weekend at the DZ but that's ok with me. I believe if you are in a relationship, it's only 50% about you. But I would chose skydiving in a heart beat if she wanted more that her 50%... "We see the world just the way we are... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #42 March 25, 2004 QuoteShould one sacrifice a (theoretically) life long marriage for something that typically lasts 5 years? Based on the divorce rate, I'd say life-long is a little optimistic. However, what if you stay married for 10 years? She's now ten years older. You'd probably need to get divorced and find a younger one anyway. A new rig too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites ACMESkydiver 0 #43 March 25, 2004 No way is skydiving more important than my husband and kids. We've had our talks about it, and I never jump on the weekends (Except 1 Saturday morning a month when he is gone on drill and the kids are at grandma's). I won't take family time when we have little enough of it as it is...I jump weekdays or on Friday evenings when kids are at grandma's. I love skydiving with a passion, but first off, if it came down to a 'no more' situation because of our disagreements, then yeah, counseling. That would be the same as any sport/hobby. If it came down to not being able to do it because my husband was hurt and couldn't continue on in the sport, my rig would be up for sale ASAP. If we had to move somewhere that wasn't near a DZ to better our family situation, so be it. I'd jump now and then, and only supervised for safety. -And if I REALLY started sucking so bad that it looked like I was becoming dangerous, I'd get some serious coaching, or give it up. I have too many people that are dependant upon my life to risk it beyond the basic throwing myself out of a plane...also why I won't do CRW or BASE or big ways or any of that. It's not worth the added risk for me.~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Malfunction 0 #44 March 25, 2004 Strange that this poll should come up now. A few summers ago, this exact thing happened to me (in fact, I briefly mentioned it in the "What did you give up..." thread. When faced with any untimatum, I always choose the decision for me; it could be skydiving, Warhammer, Motorcycles, X-Box, Drinking (although I did give up illegal substances, but that was "give them up or go to jail"). Thinking back, I would have to say that if I knew then what I know now, I may have changed my mind. There is another post about giving up jumping, and that post got me thinking too. If I were burned out of jumping when confronted, I would have given up jumping. But then I remember how much of an abusive #&%^$ she was and don't regret my decision. When you find the person of your dreams, the person that you know is right for you, you will never have to make this decision. I truly believe that, and that is why no ultimatum makes it very far with me. I may miss the company and companionship, but I have had MANY airgasms... There is only one ultimatum that could get me to quit FOR GOOD (I pray that my son nor his mother ever reads this thread) and that is my son asking me to. I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to say it. - Voltaire Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Bigwallmaster 0 #45 March 25, 2004 I have to agree with Nightingale here. If you decide to give up something you love for another person, then your overall happiness is going to be affected. Deep down you will not be truly satisfied with your life. That could lead to big trouble down the road. I don't know about you guys, but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who felt as if something was "missing" from their life. Someone who wants you to give up the other things you love in life, simply to focus all of your time on the relationship, is being selfish and egocentric. Period. cheers, J.P. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SkyDekker 1,129 #46 March 25, 2004 If my wife had a valid reason for the ultimatum I would definitely have the conversation with her and see where that goes. My wife and soon to be born baby are more important to me than anything else in life. To me being in a relationship means doing anything to make my partner as happy and comfortable as possible. We already compromise on weekends and there are days I don't skydive so we can spend time together, and I love those days. If she gave me that ultimatum just to spite me, than obviously there are already some other issues at play. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skyyhi 0 #47 March 25, 2004 QuoteWell said. You going up to Elsi this weekend? Actually no. . .I am going to Perris this weekend for two-way skills camp with MJ. . .more learning. . . I might be around there on Sunday, but haven't really decided yet. . .trying to save some money. . .________________________________________ Take risks not to escape life… but to prevent life from escaping. ~ A bumper sticker at the DZ FGF #6 Darcy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Vallerina 2 #48 March 25, 2004 QuoteTo me being in a relationship means doing anything to make my partner as happy and comfortable as possible. Well put! There really are valid reasons that whuffos want their partners to quit skydiving (financial, safety, etc.) QuoteIf she gave me that ultimatum just to spite me, than obviously there are already some other issues at play. And I think that's what the poll is missing: if it's an ultimatum to do something actual (as in, if a married couple is about to declare bankruptcy), of if it's an ultimatum for selfish reasons (ie, whuffo tells partner they're not spending enough money on them.)There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skyyhi 0 #49 March 25, 2004 QuoteThat is so much easier for the ladies to accomplish than the guys, just based on a pure number of each that skydive. At least around my DZ Dude, you need to come to Elsinore. . .we filled an entire plane with nearly all women. . .there was only 3 guys on the plane and it wasn't even a special women's day at the DZ. . .even Karl, one of the DZO's and pilot, was impressed. . .lol________________________________________ Take risks not to escape life… but to prevent life from escaping. ~ A bumper sticker at the DZ FGF #6 Darcy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites ACMESkydiver 0 #50 March 25, 2004 QuoteQuoteTo me being in a relationship means doing anything to make my partner as happy and comfortable as possible. Well put! There really are valid reasons that whuffos want their partners to quit skydiving (financial, safety, etc.) QuoteIf she gave me that ultimatum just to spite me, than obviously there are already some other issues at play. And I think that's what the poll is missing: if it's an ultimatum to do something actual (as in, if a married couple is about to declare bankruptcy), of if it's an ultimatum for selfish reasons (ie, whuffo tells partner they're not spending enough money on them.) There ya go. ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 4 Next Page 2 of 4 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. 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Fast 0 #31 March 25, 2004 QuoteQuoteI don't date whuffo's. Same here. Kinda limits the number of fish in the pool and extends the amount of time I'm "single" - but I think the relationship would be better and last longer because we'd share the same passion. That is so much easier for the ladies to accomplish than the guys, just based on a pure number of each that skydive. At least around my DZ~D Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me. Swooping is taking one last poke at the bear before escaping it's cave - davelepka Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
outrager 6 #32 March 25, 2004 Yo ! Such an ultimatum - about skydiving or fishing or playing golf - is a reason enough to break up ASAP. You cannot have a healthy relationship with a person who demands you to give up whatever passion you have. If you try to stay you will inevitably end up with conscious or subconscious negative feelings towards the person you assume to love. The only way it may work out is if skydiving wasn't your passion in the first place. bsbd! Yuri. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eeneR 1 #33 March 25, 2004 Well there is a time and a place where ultimatiums are ok....and I am only refering to when one's life is at risk. If I had become a danger to myself and those around me, then it would be a totally different story. As far as I am concerned, when one's life is at risk...all bets are off..... But if that is not the case, they can bite me heeheeShe is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jib 0 #34 March 25, 2004 I think there are two questions. First, would you even TRY to give up skydiving if someone special asked you to? If so, do you really think you could stay away? I think I could try, but I'd always yearn for the sky every time I saw a cloud. On the other hand, my secretary notices if I haven't jumped for even a few weeks. So, I dunno. -------------------------------------------------- the depth of his depravity sickens me. -- Jerry Falwell, People v. Larry Flynt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dumpster 0 #35 March 25, 2004 QuoteMy opinion is this. . .if the person loves you and you love them, they will not hinder your dreams and you will not hinder theirs. You compliment each other and everything flows from that - a person putting an ultimatum on you is doing it for their own selfish reasons and does not truly love you. . .therefore should not be the person of your dreams. . . Absolutely - The wife and I have had our challenges regarding this sport, but she never has and (hopefully) never will give me that ultimatum. If she ever does, I would quit the relationship. (And she knows that-) Not for love of the sport, but for the principal of it all. If they love you, they won't ask you to quit something you love. What we did was work out a happy medium. So I don't jump as much as I'd like to, but I still get to jump one or two days a week. And I do get to spend more money on my motorcycle. And riding is something we both enjoy very much. Now if I can talk her into letting me buy that new rig!!!! Easy Does It Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riddler 0 #36 March 25, 2004 Funny thing about skydiving. It would never ask me to give up a relationship for it. So who loves me more? All you girls that say you don't date whuffos - could you do the guys a favor and get all your girlfriends in the sport? When we get to about 50/50, all the guys will finally have this option too.Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DJL 232 #37 March 25, 2004 Quoteif the person you are with right now, spouse or significant other, gave you and ultimatum, If the person I was with gave me an ultimatum about ANYTHING (except maybe my crack habit) I'd say, "See ya later.""I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VectorBoy 0 #38 March 25, 2004 QuoteYo ! Such an ultimatum - about skydiving or fishing or playing golf - is a reason enough to break up ASAP. You cannot have a healthy relationship with a person who demands you to give up whatever passion you have. If you try to stay you will inevitably end up with conscious or subconscious negative feelings towards the person you assume to love. The only way it may work out is if skydiving wasn't your passion in the first place. bsbd! Yuri. Right on, At this point its not about a relationship its about CONTROL. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ZoneRat 0 #39 March 25, 2004 Quote If the hubby ever gave me such an ultimatum (whether it be about skydiving or anything else that makes me soooooooooo happy), he would not be the person I thought I married. . By the same token, you are not the same person he married since you started skydiving either. He didn't know he was marrying a spouse that would be gone every weekend. My ST&A said that at the PIA conferance statistics were given that showed the average skydiving career to be 5 years. Should one sacrifice a (theoretically) life long marriage for something that typically lasts 5 years?“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophies.” Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KrisFlyZ 0 #40 March 25, 2004 Quote Such an ultimatum - about skydiving or fishing or playing golf - is a reason enough to break up ASAP. You cannot have a healthy relationship with a person who demands you to give up whatever passion you have. Not really. If an ultimatum were issued about golf or fishing then yes it would be a unhealthy relationship you are in. However skydiving is different. To a person that does not want to be in a relationship and have to deal with serious injury or death of their SO, handing out such an ultimatum is perfectly reasonable. Kris. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kitof1976 0 #41 March 25, 2004 Well for me it's the opposite... I would never date a skychic! (not that I date much I am married anyways..) But seriously I would hate to have the exact same passions as my mate/wife... We would get on each others nerves real soon... The whole dating thing with a skychic might be fun for a few months... but I don't think that most skydiving couples would last a life time together. To tell you the truth I am kind of glad that my wife is a whuffo eventhough she did one tandem a while back... She said she understood why I do it but that it was not for her... I love that time at the DZ by myself... It's my time. And I don't have to work on a relationship when I am there. All I do at the DZ is having fun! No drama, no maintenance, no nothing. I wouldn't want to change that. Of course I don't get to spend every weekend at the DZ but that's ok with me. I believe if you are in a relationship, it's only 50% about you. But I would chose skydiving in a heart beat if she wanted more that her 50%... "We see the world just the way we are... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #42 March 25, 2004 QuoteShould one sacrifice a (theoretically) life long marriage for something that typically lasts 5 years? Based on the divorce rate, I'd say life-long is a little optimistic. However, what if you stay married for 10 years? She's now ten years older. You'd probably need to get divorced and find a younger one anyway. A new rig too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #43 March 25, 2004 No way is skydiving more important than my husband and kids. We've had our talks about it, and I never jump on the weekends (Except 1 Saturday morning a month when he is gone on drill and the kids are at grandma's). I won't take family time when we have little enough of it as it is...I jump weekdays or on Friday evenings when kids are at grandma's. I love skydiving with a passion, but first off, if it came down to a 'no more' situation because of our disagreements, then yeah, counseling. That would be the same as any sport/hobby. If it came down to not being able to do it because my husband was hurt and couldn't continue on in the sport, my rig would be up for sale ASAP. If we had to move somewhere that wasn't near a DZ to better our family situation, so be it. I'd jump now and then, and only supervised for safety. -And if I REALLY started sucking so bad that it looked like I was becoming dangerous, I'd get some serious coaching, or give it up. I have too many people that are dependant upon my life to risk it beyond the basic throwing myself out of a plane...also why I won't do CRW or BASE or big ways or any of that. It's not worth the added risk for me.~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malfunction 0 #44 March 25, 2004 Strange that this poll should come up now. A few summers ago, this exact thing happened to me (in fact, I briefly mentioned it in the "What did you give up..." thread. When faced with any untimatum, I always choose the decision for me; it could be skydiving, Warhammer, Motorcycles, X-Box, Drinking (although I did give up illegal substances, but that was "give them up or go to jail"). Thinking back, I would have to say that if I knew then what I know now, I may have changed my mind. There is another post about giving up jumping, and that post got me thinking too. If I were burned out of jumping when confronted, I would have given up jumping. But then I remember how much of an abusive #&%^$ she was and don't regret my decision. When you find the person of your dreams, the person that you know is right for you, you will never have to make this decision. I truly believe that, and that is why no ultimatum makes it very far with me. I may miss the company and companionship, but I have had MANY airgasms... There is only one ultimatum that could get me to quit FOR GOOD (I pray that my son nor his mother ever reads this thread) and that is my son asking me to. I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to say it. - Voltaire Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bigwallmaster 0 #45 March 25, 2004 I have to agree with Nightingale here. If you decide to give up something you love for another person, then your overall happiness is going to be affected. Deep down you will not be truly satisfied with your life. That could lead to big trouble down the road. I don't know about you guys, but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who felt as if something was "missing" from their life. Someone who wants you to give up the other things you love in life, simply to focus all of your time on the relationship, is being selfish and egocentric. Period. cheers, J.P. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkyDekker 1,129 #46 March 25, 2004 If my wife had a valid reason for the ultimatum I would definitely have the conversation with her and see where that goes. My wife and soon to be born baby are more important to me than anything else in life. To me being in a relationship means doing anything to make my partner as happy and comfortable as possible. We already compromise on weekends and there are days I don't skydive so we can spend time together, and I love those days. If she gave me that ultimatum just to spite me, than obviously there are already some other issues at play. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyyhi 0 #47 March 25, 2004 QuoteWell said. You going up to Elsi this weekend? Actually no. . .I am going to Perris this weekend for two-way skills camp with MJ. . .more learning. . . I might be around there on Sunday, but haven't really decided yet. . .trying to save some money. . .________________________________________ Take risks not to escape life… but to prevent life from escaping. ~ A bumper sticker at the DZ FGF #6 Darcy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #48 March 25, 2004 QuoteTo me being in a relationship means doing anything to make my partner as happy and comfortable as possible. Well put! There really are valid reasons that whuffos want their partners to quit skydiving (financial, safety, etc.) QuoteIf she gave me that ultimatum just to spite me, than obviously there are already some other issues at play. And I think that's what the poll is missing: if it's an ultimatum to do something actual (as in, if a married couple is about to declare bankruptcy), of if it's an ultimatum for selfish reasons (ie, whuffo tells partner they're not spending enough money on them.)There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyyhi 0 #49 March 25, 2004 QuoteThat is so much easier for the ladies to accomplish than the guys, just based on a pure number of each that skydive. At least around my DZ Dude, you need to come to Elsinore. . .we filled an entire plane with nearly all women. . .there was only 3 guys on the plane and it wasn't even a special women's day at the DZ. . .even Karl, one of the DZO's and pilot, was impressed. . .lol________________________________________ Take risks not to escape life… but to prevent life from escaping. ~ A bumper sticker at the DZ FGF #6 Darcy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #50 March 25, 2004 QuoteQuoteTo me being in a relationship means doing anything to make my partner as happy and comfortable as possible. Well put! There really are valid reasons that whuffos want their partners to quit skydiving (financial, safety, etc.) QuoteIf she gave me that ultimatum just to spite me, than obviously there are already some other issues at play. And I think that's what the poll is missing: if it's an ultimatum to do something actual (as in, if a married couple is about to declare bankruptcy), of if it's an ultimatum for selfish reasons (ie, whuffo tells partner they're not spending enough money on them.) There ya go. ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
