wingnut 0 #26 April 12, 2006 Quoteso you know about the sideways "Okayyyy, you are REALLY weird" looks too yup, one of my friends even tells me i'm " just not right" ...... ______________________________________ "i have no reader's digest version" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #27 April 12, 2006 QuoteOh come on - I thought it was funny...especially when they say they will come out and do a tandem then you never hear from them again! oh oh... I wanna do a tandem... ok... not really... Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SublimeBreeze 0 #28 April 12, 2006 Ok this one is the worst... In highschool during a class there was an announcement that their would be a speech during the day in the auditorium. The day happend to be mlk day. One student raised his hand and asked "Is he (Martin Luthur King Jr) really giving a speech here?" he was dead serious. Drrrrrrrr Sean Sean In Thailand Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flygurl 0 #29 April 12, 2006 Quote In this thread: The most retarded statements you've ever heard. Last week I was talking to a friend at a bar. Some guy approached us and said: Guy- "So you skydive?" Us- "Yes." Guy- "I BASE jumped once, but my chute didn't open right so I didn't do it again." ________________________________________ "One out of every four American's are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaLowestBird 0 #30 April 12, 2006 One day I was trying to go through the fridge to figure out what to toss and what to keep. I notice the light inside starting to get hot and I say to my girlfriend "I'm gonna unscrew this bulb because I think its keeping the fridge from getting as cold as it should." As she's laughing it took me a few minutes to realize that the light turns off when the door closes.... I can't believe they trust me to jump out of planes...Convo between my friend and his ex... Nick - "Chad talked me into skydiving." Her - "I thought you didn't like extreme sports" Nick - "Dating you WAS an extreme sport." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFXpert 0 #31 April 12, 2006 I haven't read all of these yet, but a while back when I paid off a loan in full, two weeks later my autodebit was deducted from my account. After holding for, like, EVER the woman kindly told me paying off a loan in full does not cancel the auto debit and you must fax a request for this to be cancelled Seriously, the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life.Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFXpert 0 #32 April 12, 2006 I've heard a million like that. Oh, and everyone has "a friend" whose parachute didn't open and they were seriously injured.Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dumpster 0 #33 April 12, 2006 I get to work with a bunch of very highly-educated people. I mean, guys with PhD's in thier field. I've some to realize that the more education you cram into a person's skull, the more common sense gets pushed out. One individual in our R&D department stands out in particular. He has a habit, when he asks a question and doesn't get the answer he likes, he'll re-phrase it and ask it again, thinking he'll get a different answer. One of the things I do is make modifications to machinery and build experimental stuff for the R&D folks. Great fun, but - - - "Lenny, How long will it take to complete this (insert project name here)?" "Two weeks." "Can you have it done in a week?" "No, too much stuff in the que ahead of it." (I don't re-arrange things on the schedule, unless it affects production.) "How about seven days, can it be done in seven days?" "No, I said two weeks, that's fourteen days." "You can't have it done sooner?" "We might get lucky and get it done a day or two ahead of time, but don't count on it." "Oh, so you can have it done in ten days then?" (Now I'm beginning to twitch.) "No, please read my lips - TWO WEEKS." This whole conversation wastes five minutes of my life, that I'll never get back. After a while, he'll come back to the shop and ask me again. Then I start adding a day for each time he asks me. Eventually he figures out he's not going to get the answer he wants. Until next project. Then it starts all over again. Easy Does It Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #34 April 12, 2006 Back in '94 Me: I'm going to WoodStock. I can't believe it. Female friend who was about 24 years old: Is Jimi Hendrix going to be there ? Me : Yea, he'll be there. Sort of. ( Jimi has been dead all/most of her life.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stumpy 256 #35 April 12, 2006 I remember an ex asking me how much something was - i held up six fingers to which she exclaimed... "Eleven?!?!" Never try to eat more than you can lift Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
unformed 0 #36 April 12, 2006 after 9/11 i was talking to this kid about going to war. said, if i went to war, i'd like to be frontline his response: "no that don't have wars like that anymore. people just sit in the pentagon pushing buttons and blowing things up." yeah, okay./This ad space for sale. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #37 April 12, 2006 QuoteQuote In this thread: The most retarded statements you've ever heard. Last week I was talking to a friend at a bar. Some guy approached us and said: Guy- "So you skydive?" Us- "Yes." Guy- "I BASE jumped once, but my chute didn't open right so I didn't do it again." *** Just curious... Cool chick that skydives.... Do you get many pick-up lines with guys 'trying' to forge a bond with their 'hero' tales...trying to impress? I mean is the approach (in your opinion) different when guys don't know you jump? ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,174 #38 April 12, 2006 QuoteI've some to realize that the more education you cram into a person's skull, the more common sense gets pushed out. ... He has a habit, when he asks a question and doesn't get the answer he likes, he'll re-phrase it and ask it again, thinking he'll get a different answer.So the problem with all the young studs who want to start swooping at 60 jumps is their education level? I was painting a dorm room with a couple of friends when one of them, contorting himself into a weird position to paint a constricted space said "I'd give my right arm to be left-handed." Since he said he'd give his right arm for just about anything I felt free to laugh Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
piisfish 136 #39 April 12, 2006 Quote"You can have pepperoni pizza right? It's made of vegetables."..18 years old, and ya still don't know that pepperoni is a meat product. Gees.do a search for peperoni. The word Pepperoni (the dry sausage, salame piccante) is derived from Peperoni which is definitely NOT meat... en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pepperoniscissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #40 April 12, 2006 Some years back, my sister hired a babysitter for her young kids. The girl was about 18. My nephew at the time had an allergy to milk. My sister was explaining this and instructing her on what he can eat. When she told the babysitter he could have a banana, the babysitter was suddenly startled. She actually said to my sister that she thought he couldn't have milk and bananas had milk in them. Needless to say, my sister was questioning her own judgement on her choice of babysitter. Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The111 1 #41 April 12, 2006 Reality television.www.WingsuitPhotos.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
4WayXena 0 #42 April 12, 2006 I was hobbling around on crutches in an ankle to hip brace after trashing my ACL on a bad landing. I was at a client meeting and he asked me how I had hurt myself. I replied, "Skydiving." He said, "Did your parachute not open?" Oddly enough, for the next 5 weeks I was on crutches and the 10 weeks after I had surgery to repair said trashed knee, 7 out of every 10 people asked me the same stupid question. So I started telling people I got into a knife fight with an orthopeadic surgeon and he won. More blank stares... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jlmiracle 7 #43 April 12, 2006 A woman insisted that when you order Surf & Turf it meant you get Shrimp and Lobster. Her son said no, I think its Steak and Lobster and she said I'm a caterer, I know what Surf and Turf means. I just sat there quietly because it wasn't going to be worth the argument. jBe kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bodizaffah 0 #44 April 12, 2006 Back in COLLEGE, this cute little sorority girl I knew calls me up and asks me "Hey, what time does CNN come on?" I smiled and simply replied..."Right after NBC is over." Scary thing is, she's a Pharmacist now! . . . .______________________________________________________________ "Give me some duct tape, chewing gum, and some Jack Daniels and I can fix damn near anything" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brierebecca 0 #45 April 12, 2006 "After all its not as if I was looking to hook up. But I guess my experiences in life have made prejudice to expect a bad attitude from the people who were blasted with the ugly stick." Brie"Ive seen you hump air, hump the floor of the plane, and hump legs. You now have a new nickname: "Black Humper of Death"--yardhippie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #46 April 12, 2006 Several years ago, while on approach to land, I flew into a dust-devil. The end result was a raspberry the full length of my right leg and a destroyed jump suit. At work the next day, I was limping and someone asked; 'Ja' do that skydiving?' No, I responded, I did it landing! Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DJL 232 #47 April 12, 2006 In a seminar I attended on designing medical operating rooms: "If we installed high powered lamps, like those used to heat food, couldn't we induce airflow away from the patient?""I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildcard451 0 #48 April 12, 2006 This ought to cover it nicely... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
funks 1 #49 April 12, 2006 QuoteThis ought to cover it nicely... Well said. Bravo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites sclosoma 0 #50 April 12, 2006 During a skydive there was a solo that was tracking and he tracked right up jump run. So when we landed and went into the hangar a tandem master asked the guy 'Shimmy, which way were you tracking?' The guy responds 'What do you mean which way was I tracking... forwards!' And he was dead serious. Another one, there was a guy at the DZ that was wearing a tony suit, sombody asked him, 'Is that a Tony Suit?' he responded, 'Naw man, its my suit.'"Don't mistake common stupidity for common sense" -Bill Dause Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 Next Page 2 of 3 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
sclosoma 0 #50 April 12, 2006 During a skydive there was a solo that was tracking and he tracked right up jump run. So when we landed and went into the hangar a tandem master asked the guy 'Shimmy, which way were you tracking?' The guy responds 'What do you mean which way was I tracking... forwards!' And he was dead serious. Another one, there was a guy at the DZ that was wearing a tony suit, sombody asked him, 'Is that a Tony Suit?' he responded, 'Naw man, its my suit.'"Don't mistake common stupidity for common sense" -Bill Dause Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
