My $40 quandry

[airdvr 200]

My 20 yo son is attempting to make a go of it on his own. I have vowed not to subsidze him in any way. Here's the problem. He came to our house a couple of weeks ago. I noticed the front tires on his POS car are so bald they are showing cords. I talked to him about it. For $40 he can go to one of those used tire places and get a couple of decent used bacons. As of today he hasn't done it.

A friend of ours has a son that is 30. Severe car wreck Thursday...brain dead on a vent with pressers to keep a blood pressure. In short he's done.

I was imagining what it would be like to be forced to make that decision for your child. How would I feel if it was due in part to him not spending 40 fucking dollars on used front tires when I could have bought him brand new ones.

Should I take him to the tire place or keep my mouth shut?

Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

[NewGuy2005 51]

Take him.

[jrmrangers 0]

tell him you need to borrow his car ( make up an excuse) and have the tires put on. when he sees them you tell him you did it for your own safety , not for him. he gets tires , you feel better and you dont have to lose face.

Wait , I pull what first?

[quade 3]

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and you dont have to lose face.

Pride over safety of loved ones; what a ridiculous concept.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[jrmrangers 0]

my solution doesnt put pride first, it solves his quandry without his son feeling like he got a hand out. I would swallow my pride in a heartbeat if it meant my children would have even the smallest of chances of being safer.

Wait , I pull what first?

[NovaTTT 1]

I have a passel of kids - I know it can be hard.

I would recommend taking him for the tires. Give him a good Life Lesson Lecture and then work out a payback; perhaps $10/week.

You get to help him without doing it for him and he gets a dose of Man Up. Win-Win? Perhaps.

Good luck.

ETA: You have his . . . well, see attached!

"Even in a world where perfection is unattainable, there's still a difference between excellence and mediocrity." Gary73

[quade 3]

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my solution doesnt put pride first, it solves his quandry without his son feeling like he got a hand out.

Understood. My statement however stands not in response to yours, but the concept of his.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[jrmrangers 0]

accept my appology then, Blue Skies!!

Wait , I pull what first?

[catfishhunter 1]

I just literally passed a dead man on the freeway. Cops just standing around no ambulance no sirens. Older suv (chevy blazer I think) upside down and legs sticking out the passenger window. Hopefully it was only one go put NEW tires on your boys car.

MAKE EVERY DAY COUNT
Life is Short and we never know how long we are going to have. We must live life to the fullest EVERY DAY. Everything we do should have a greater purpose.

[DeNReN 0]

Or you could force the issue...cut the sidewalls.

Driving a car in that condition not only puts his life at risk but others.

[chutem 0]

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My 20 yo son is attempting to make a go of it on his own. I have vowed not to subsidze him in any way. Here's the problem. He came to our house a couple of weeks ago. I noticed the front tires on his POS car are so bald they are showing cords. I talked to him about it. For $40 he can go to one of those used tire places and get a couple of decent used bacons. As of today he hasn't done it.

A friend of ours has a son that is 30. Severe car wreck Thursday...brain dead on a vent with pressers to keep a blood pressure. In short he's done.

I was imagining what it would be like to be forced to make that decision for your child. How would I feel if it was due in part to him not spending 40 fucking dollars on used front tires when I could have bought him brand new ones.

Should I take him to the tire place or keep my mouth shut?

Come up with some work you need done that you can pay him two new tires for.

James

[jumpsalot-2 2]

Minimum tread depth on tires is like minimum opening altitudes....right now your son is just reaching for his pilot chute at 1000 ft. . Buying used tires ( which are sold almost wore out ) brings his PC pull altitude to around 1800 ft.....still too low. Hopefully he has an AAD......Get new tires and make him pay for them. What ever happened to kids leaving home at 18. Me and my friends did. ( I'm 50 now ) I also drove around on alot of bald tires. Sorry about your friends kid.

Life is short ... jump often.

[Squeak 17]

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My 20 yo son is attempting to make a go of it on his own. I have vowed not to subsidze him in any way. Here's the problem. He came to our house a couple of weeks ago. I noticed the front tires on his POS car are so bald they are showing cords. I talked to him about it. For $40 he can go to one of those used tire places and get a couple of decent used bacons. As of today he hasn't done it.

A friend of ours has a son that is 30. Severe car wreck Thursday...brain dead on a vent with pressers to keep a blood pressure. In short he's done.

I was imagining what it would be like to be forced to make that decision for your child. How would I feel if it was due in part to him not spending 40 fucking dollars on used front tires when I could have bought him brand new ones.

Should I take him to the tire place or keep my mouth shut?

Take him to the hospital and show him what NO TRACTION and poor handling on a car can lead to, all for the sake of $40.
Then slap him in the back of the head for being a tool.

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[hcsvader 1]

have a look around on classieifed websites, quite often you can find used tires for free.

Have you seen my pants?
it"s a rough life, Livin' the dream
>:)

[rnicks 0]

I'm quite suprised at all the replies that support purchasing the tires for him. While I understand your desire to protect your son, as a father you also have to learn to let go and hope your parenting techniques yielded a responsible adult.

You can't protect him from his poor choices forever (not purchasing $40 tires). You did the right thing by bringing it to his attention, but now the ball is in his court. You've done your part. I agree that it is awful about your friend's son, but there are hundereds of ways for your own son to meet the same fate. You can't protect him from them all. It seems teaching responsibility is the bigger lesson.

edit: spelling

[JerseyShawn 0]

Hospital bills or the price of some new tires? Id go with the cheaper price tag. You'll rest easier. Call it an early birthday present.

[Arvoitus 1]

Is he not buying the new tires simply because he can't afford them or because he'd rather use the money on whatever frivolous stuff people use their money on?

Your rights end where my feelings begin.

[Nataly 38]

Forty bucks for new tires is no big deal. "Saving face" when it comes to safety is not important. In the grand scheme of things, this decision only matters if it falls into a consistent pattern of you saving his dumbass and him not learning from it.

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[shropshire 0]

I would talk to him and tell him that you understand that he wants to make his own way in life but there is no disgrace asking for help from time to time. Ask if you could help him out in this or anything else.


BTW Over here it would be illegal to drive a car in such a condition... and would incur a large fine ... more than the cost of the tyres - and would more than likely invalidate his insurance.

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[popsjumper 2]

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Or you could force the issue...cut the sidewalls.

Driving a car in that condition not only puts his life at risk but others.

I like this idea best.

You guys thinking it's a choice between new tires of a brain-dead son are assuming that he' going to wind up a brain-dead kid if he doesn't get tires.

Yeah, yeah...the old worst-case "what if".

Cut the tires and cut the apron strings.
Buying him new tires only perpetuates the irresponsibility.

- Why should I be responsible for myself, Daddy will bail me out.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[airdvr 200]

Quote

Quote

Or you could force the issue...cut the sidewalls.

Driving a car in that condition not only puts his life at risk but others.

I like this idea best.

You guys thinking it's a choice between new tires of a brain-dead son are assuming that he' going to wind up a brain-dead kid if he doesn't get tires.

Yeah, yeah...the old worst-case "what if".

Cut the tires and cut the apron strings.
Buying him new tires only perpetuates the irresponsibility.

- Why should I be responsible for myself, Daddy will bail me out.

Agreed. I like the idea of slicing the tires. Kind of like pulling his reserve while he's still on the ground. For those of you who think I should just go buy him tires. I've already done stuff like that for too long. He has a job. He has the money to get this done if he wants.

Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

[theonlyski 3]

Quote

Quote

Quote

Or you could force the issue...cut the sidewalls.

Driving a car in that condition not only puts his life at risk but others.

I like this idea best.

You guys thinking it's a choice between new tires of a brain-dead son are assuming that he' going to wind up a brain-dead kid if he doesn't get tires.

Yeah, yeah...the old worst-case "what if".

Cut the tires and cut the apron strings.
Buying him new tires only perpetuates the irresponsibility.

- Why should I be responsible for myself, Daddy will bail me out.

Agreed. I like the idea of slicing the tires. Kind of like pulling his reserve while he's still on the ground. For those of you who think I should just go buy him tires. I've already done stuff like that for too long. He has a job. He has the money to get this done if he wants.

Just remember to slice them when the car is in a place it can sit for a few days, and be worked on (not the side of the road)

If you can't drive the car to get the tires, ya gotta take them off and over to the tire shop and back...

"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly
DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890
I'm an asshole, and I approve this message

[JohnMitchell 14]

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I like the idea of slicing the tires. Kind of like pulling his reserve while he's still on the ground. For those of you who think I should just go buy him tires. I've already done stuff like that for too long. He has a job. He has the money to get this done if he wants.

It's a tough call for me to make from a distance, but I'd be tempted to get the new tires and say "Happy Birthday, don't expect no cake and candles this year."

[airtwardo 6]

"...Hey son, I was talking to a buddy at work and he had a couple of old skins in his garage he just gave me, here they are go put 'em on."


40.00 is one jump and gas & to the dz, VERY cheap piece of mind!




Edited to add: My oldest is on his own and struggling, I stop by his place now & then with 50.00 in groceries. It's appreciated and never anticipated... I tell him to pay me back with beer when I'm in a nursing home!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[oldwomanc6 38]

It's a tough call for me to make from a distance, but I'd be tempted to get the new tires and say "Happy Birthday, don't expect no cake and candles this year."

Taking away the cake is just plain mean. It's your kid! The candles are negotiable, however

lisa

p.s. I like the slashing idea; it proves a point, keeps the kid off the road in an unsafe situation, offer to pay for new tires with the expectation of repayment. Just follow up or it is for naught (as a lesson)!

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9