Fear of toilets

[billvon 2,446]

I admit it; I am afraid of the toilet in my hotel room.

First off, it has a control panel. In my world a toilet really only has to do one thing, and that's take stuff away. Anything that complicates that process is, in my mind, a bad thing.

Second, there's a big red STOP button on the top. A STOP button implies that I could be sitting there, minding my own business, and suddenly need to stop some bothersome operation that is occurring. This makes me wonder about what such operations entail, and what negative reaction I'd have to them to make me want to halt them in their tracks. This worries me.

Third, the seat is always warm. The first time this happened it freaked me out because my first thought was "who was just on this toilet?" Was there a toilet-warmer employed by the hotel who would hide in the closet, anticipate any potential trips to the bathroom, and sit down for a few moments to warm things up before I got there? (Knowing this particular hotel that actually wouldn't have suprised me that much.) I have since realized that this is merely one of the many functions of this toilet, but in a room that is constantly maintained at 72 degrees, keeping the toilet seat at 90 degrees is just not that important.

I am also worried that at its lowest setting the seat is almost too hot to sit on. What if I stumble onto some button at night, accidentally crank it up and manage to get it to 150F or something?

Then there are some sort of aiming controls in the middle there with a bunch of LED's. Maybe it's just me, but I want to be the one aiming at the toilet, not the other way around.

There's also a POWER button. Which made me notice the plug from the toilet to the wall. Do I really need 240 volts AC two inches from my butt?

Then there's a button labeled "nozzle cleaning." I don't even want to think about that one.

Maybe I'm just not cut out for this international executive travel stuff.

[quade 3]

Where ARE you?

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[billvon 2,446]

Seoul, Korea.

[quade 3]

Ah . . . you'd also see stuff like that in Japan as well.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[jumpsalot-2 2]

Just step away from the toilet.......nice and slowly.

Life is short ... jump often.

[Squeak 17]

a pic of water??? squirting at a smiley face, and MASSAGE... you have EVERY right to be scared.

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[jrmrangers 0]

I dont know about you but im always game to get my nozzle cleaned!!!!

Wait , I pull what first?

[nigel99 151]

Well at least all the bacteria have a nice constant temperature to keep them happy and breeding

Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

[Scratch 0]

Whatever you do, do not press the automatic tampon removal button. I believe it hurts a little

[Nataly 38]

Hilarious!!

Just pee in the sink - problem solved!

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[MikeJD 0]

Quote

Hilarious!!

Just pee in the sink - problem solved!

Yep, and for number twos there's always the waste basket. Although by the sound of it your room probably doesn't have a waste basket - just some gadget that vapourises whatever you put into it.

[riddler 0]

I want one. But that's just because I'm a "gadget guy".

Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

[Shotgun 1]

I like the happy girl face on the bidet button. :-D

[pyrotech 0]

I'm wondering what the "Aerate" button does. And what's the difference between "wash" and "bidet" (besides having a face pop up to pee on, apparently)? I like that there's a "dry" function though after a good wash.

[airdvr 200]

Those asians sure know how to take care of their asses, don't they?

Let us know how sailing terminology applies to cleaning the rusty bullet hole.

Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

[oldwomanc6 38]

When I read the thread title, I thought "That's silly, most people grow out of the fear of the toilet by about the age of 3." Now, after reading about it, I think I'd be a little freaked, too!

What happens if you just unplug it?

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

[christelsabine 1]

Quote

Well at least all the bacteria have a nice constant temperature to keep them happy and breeding

Perhaps. But, would you think they'd survive 240V??

As long, as those little ones happily are roaming around on the toilet seat, BillVon will be safe, right?

dudeist skydiver # 3105

[ryoder 1,403]

Dayum!
And I thought the three seashells were complicated!

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[PiLFy 0]

Silly me. I thought this was going to be a Germophobe thread... Admit it, Bill. You're going to want one for your house by the time you fly home. That thing looks almost as complicated as the space shuttle's toilet. Let us know how the massage feature works.

[JerryBaumchen 1,068]

Hi bill,

Quote

I am afraid of the toilet in my hotel room.

Does it say HERS on it? Look for the one that says HIS, you'll be just fine.

JerryBaumchen

PS) It has to be better than one of those 'slot' toilets that are so prevalent in Asia.

Just try using one of those puppies when you've had a couple of drinks in you. BTDT.

[ZigZagMarquis 8]

Quote

Hilarious!!

Just pee in the sink - problem solved!

You do that often N@t? Neat trick...



Pee in the sink??!??

Why the heck would one want to do that for when there's a perfectly good shower near by!!??!

[headoverheels 292]

Quote

Ah . . . you'd also see stuff like that in Japan as well.

And at my house. And at my wife's house.

The control on mine is a remote. Unfortunately, it will not work through the door, so I haven't been able to surprise some unsuspecting soul by firing it up from another room while they are seated. RF to IR repeater when I get around to it.

[Trafficdiver 8]

Is it...a Ferguson?

[dirtbox 0]

BWHAHAHAHA I live in Korea (for 3 more months anyway)... I love the heated seat in winter (most Koreans leave the windows open in winter so the bathrooms are like ice) but I have always been too scared to press any buttons so I know exactly how you feel! Have you seen one with an lCD readout? WTF does a toilet seat need to tell me?

Not flushing toilet paper is one of the few cultural barriers I have been unable to overcome (been here for two years) and squatters suck in winter. Otherwise Korea has been an awesome place!

[JohnMitchell 14]

Wow, funny that Korea would have toilets like that when so many people over there just crap in a trough, like we saw for bathrooms in China. What a range of facilities.