flyhi

Don't know what you are jumping, but with a high performance canopy; excess lines on one side + line twists = a visit to your rigger. A good way to avoid this is to tie your 3-Rings together with your pull up cord as the first step in packing. flyhi

Even dumber. Mooning a pregnant lady...in a crowded shopping center parking lot...without telling the driver (owner/operator of the car) what we were going to do. He stopped at the next cross walk for pedestrians. The police (oh yes, there were police) said they received over 20 calls. A close second was fermenting alcohol in my high school chemistry class. Made a lot of friends, but the teacher and principal weren't any of them. flyhi

Chuck, If Barb-Erik (Butz) is there, ask him about his pond swoop in Hawaii. It would have killed two normal people. Barb-Erik, luckily, is not normal. Homer: For once, somebody may call me "Sir" without adding, "...you're making a scene." flyhi

You should have known when she didn't try to ply you with beer. (Ask Slappie.) Homer's brain: Use reverse psychology. Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated. Homer's brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology. Homer: Okay, I will! flyhi

Just wondered if any has any input on the Ground Zero Canopies from Precision Aerodynamics. They have some killer deal listed in Skydiving about send them an old canopy and you get half off a new Ground Zero. I assume that means on the Xaos, Nitron, Synergy, or Fusion. The only write-up under the Gear Section is from a guy who really loved the Xaos 21. He was loading it about 2:1 and commented on lighter riser tension than his FX. Haven't seen anything on price or delivery yet. Good company? Reliable company? Stand behind their product company? Skydivers or businessmen (and I don't have a problem with skydivers making a profit on a good product)? Just looking for data on the canopies, company or deal. Homer: Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy. flyhi

My ex-wife use to say the same thing. Did I mention she was my ex? Homer: Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! (chugs beer) flyhi

Why are divorces so expensive? They're worth it. Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman. What's the best thing about sex with a 12 year old girl? Turn her over and it's just like sex with a 12 year old boy. And that's sick... flyhi

I'll never forget the hazing that went on when I got my MBA. Usually we would pick on someone who was kinda nerdy and ride him bad. One guy was so out there (Advocated risking venture capital on a limited partnership without a feduciary perspectus. Loser!!) that we drew a mustache and blackened teeth on his Peter Lynch picture, reversed the batteries in his calculator, and then broke into his computer and locked up every other column in his favorite spreadsheet. But that was when we were young, wild and crazy. We may have gone too far though as he eventually dropped out. It was probably the Lynch thing. So Grogs, ever get a swirly? flyhi

Sorry, I'm more of a Hanson guy. Maybe next time. MMMBop. flyhi

Skydive Arizona's Skyvan: Every Woman's Ride to Paradise!! They could balance the props, but why ruin the ride... flyhi

Do you think it's a coincidence that the two most famous things to be produced at Berkeley were 1) the UNIX operating system and 2) acid? Homer (reading Internet for Dummies): Wow... they've got the Internet on computers now? flyhi

Freudian slips or incredibly well written metaphors? I leave it to the discerning reader. Homer: "If the Bible has taught us nothing else -- and it hasn't -- it's that girls should stick to girl sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such." flyhi

Homer: Mmmm... invisible cola. flyhi

Doesn't matter. Just shoot him. There's only two reasons to watch "Baywatch". Acting isn't either one. Homer: Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. flyhi

Zennie, You sound like just the kind of guy RW needs at every drop zone. Hate to use and mutate the current catch phrase, but thinking outside the box (position) can definitely put the fun back in. I say, if the formation has a name, let's not do it. Homer: Okay, brain. You don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's get through this thing and then I can continue killing you with beer. Homer's Brain: It's a deal! flyhi

They had a similar ad in Skydiving last month. You know what that means. We will all be treated to a few months worth of my-12-year-old-son-reads-this-magazine letters to the editor. I love that rag. They never dodge controversy. Hey, at least she's not sitting in a bathtub full of hot dogs!! Homer: Oh, yeah, what are they gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? flyhi

Shouldn't that be "English professor"? Everyone should really learn how to write english good. Homer: Oh! And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember that time I took a home wine making course and forgot how to drive? Marge: That's because you were drunk! Homer: And how! flyhi

Have you never experienced the emotional mushroom cloud of a male victim of a bad spot, a jumper who has found out his reserve is out of date, or the "English Patient"-esque compassion bestowed on the guy who funneled the eight way? We are nothing but emotion. In fact, I think I'm starting to tear up that you give us so little respect. Then again, maybe it's just the cramping, bloatedness from all this water I'm retaining. Anyone have any chocolate? flyhi

Video? flyhi

1) lowest intentional exit ? A 900 foot Army Static Line. 2) WayLow intentionally ~1800 (Hard-pull at 2300', honest!) 3) most stupid/dangerous thing done in freefall? Geezer alert...Geezer Alert...Deployed my reserve when my Para-Commander's PC was hanging around in my burble. Good body position, bad head work. 4) What is the closest you have come to killing yourself? Low Hook Turn. 5) What gives you the biggest kick? Multi-points on a big way followed by a swoop. 6) How many times have you been grounded? 0 7) How long is the longest grounding 0 8) What do you get grounded for? Once for a knee op, but I don't count that. 9) Biggest "Can't Frigging Believe I Did That" Moment - Hung on rear risers for about 3 miles to get into position to do a face plant into the fence 3 feet short of the DZ. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. I give you so many other reasons. flyhi

Seventy jumps and he usually jumped a Stilletto? Does anyone else see that as a problem? flyhi

Michele, Great story. Can't wait to read your account of your first swoop on a 107. I think what the Otter's have are called landing lights. The red and green ones are called position lights and the blinking/rotating one is called an anti-collision light. Whiskey tango fox is "LO'ing"? flyhi

Women, Don't listen to her. It's the muscle relaxers talking. flyhi

Andrea, Something is wrong with the URL you posted. I went to it and couldn't read a word. Must be some type of dyslexia thing happening. flyhi

"What a great date I had last night. My date usurped on my dork for about an hour." Pedantic is pedantic! flyhi