flyhi

Haven't seen many dolphins or parrots hanging out in the front of Tat parlors wating their turn, either. flyhi

I liked Last Action Hero. In fact, I've seen it about three times. flyhi

Another technique question, this one is on using rear risers. I guess the basic question is, "How?" When do you get on them? Do you use them or your toggles to plane out? Do you ever release your toggles? How much do you use? How do you terminate the approach? Do you release rear risers and land with toggles or do you land with rear risers and toggles in hand? Downside to using rear risers? Just to keep in the spirit of DZ.com, I have attached a Candadian $20 for payment. flyhi

Best car ad I ever heard was from Dothan, AL. "You want a new car. We want to sell you a new car. So grab the wife, bring her down here, and let's dicker!" And it was all said with a straight face. flyhi

Don't laugh too hard. Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of shit sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a damn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is I take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers, was all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my ass as soon as I get in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for 2 days because my asshole was swollen shut. So, next time your having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass. Lance McHenry flyhi

The English Patient - Made Me Sick Beaches - Bitches Terms of Endearment - Nicholson, how could you? Sounder - Didn't get it. The Killing of Sister George - Took too long. Use a gun next time. flyhi

After spending an interminable number of Christmas's with my family, I would have to say the first twenty minutes of Saving Private Ryan. Live to dream. flyhi

Air Force, huh? You don't say. Homer: Mmmm... bowling alley fresh. flyhi

Are we that close to last call? GUE!! flyhi

How about a Base and Swoop site? Nothing like a little on-line BS site to kill a work day. flyhi

MM, I bought my first ZP off of my rigger who was also a dealer. As part of the deal, he threw in a free first pack job. After watching what he did to my canopy, I was real close to having my reserve repacked. And then I packed it the first time. Someone mentioned something about a monkey and a football, but I didn't hear the whole thing. Someone did suggest to have a "spritz" bottle handle and, if you know you are going to jump it the same day, lightly dampen the canopy. Also works in low humidity conditions. Food for thought. Homer's brain: Use reverse psychology. Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated. Homer's brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology. Homer: Okay, I will! flyhi

Just heard on the radio that not Texas, not Florida, not Alabama, but Oklahoma was leading the nation in inmate executions this year with 17, three of which were women. Although I can't say much for their gender equality, I salute their efforts to thin out the herd. Oklahoma is OK...unless you do something wrong. flyhi

Proximity. flyhi

American Flyers Vision Quest A League of their Own Magnificient Seven The Great Escape Rocky Horror Picture Show The Blues Brothers Terminator flyhi

How about: What do a West Point Cadet and an Aggie have in common? They've both been accepted to Texas A&M. How many Aggie Freshman does it take to change a light bulb? None, that's a second year course. Nothing but love, Dave. Please don't hurt Justin for this, even though it was his idea. flyhi

Post this in the Gear Section and Tomas was right...you are a final. Good luck on your weenie. flyhi

I was thinking Blazing Saddles. flyhi

If you work anything out on a Saturday or during the holidays, make sure you post it on here. I'd be more than willing to do a road trip for a great day of skydiving. Surprise Skymama hasn't been here yet. She must be working. Marge: You know, it's funny... your father and my mother both seem very lonely. Homer: Tee hee hee hee hee! That is funny! flyhi

Since it is the South, how about: Bodacious, Intelligent Girls Always Swooping & Skydiving? flyhi

I think they made a movie with Nicholas Cage about this called, "Wind Talkers". It's either about that or skydivers at 10,500 feet the morning after Burrito Night. flyhi

Does that mean something special in the Queen's English or does it mean the same thing as it does here? I can see calling someone a moron, cretin, ass, or I. D. Ten T, but why call him a twat? That gives the major female sex organ a bad name. The Medula? I have also had really good luck the morning after a date was on a Tequila binge. Very nice muscular action as she is giving it all back and usually they never remember. If they do notice, just tell her you are holding her hair back. Women like that kind of thoughtfulness. flyhi

Video? flyhi

The guy on the right is Eric "BarbEric" Butz, a team mate of Chuck. He stands about 6' 3" tall and goes out the door at 260#. I read on one of the posts that he wants to jump a Cobalt at 4:1, which means a 65 sq ft canopy! Yippeekiya!! I'm sure Chuck has some other stories about him. The guy on the left has never been identified, but there were a lot of Elvis sitings when he was in town. You do the math. flyhi

Skymonkey One, Recognize anyone? Hint: The guy on the right has his tongue pierced and believes Pink is Punk. flyhi

Does this work? 12000 ft over the north shore of Oahu. flyhi