A question for the men....

[MarkM 0]

It's mostly biology. What we call "attractive" is really just someone who has good genetic traits. For a guy, an attractive woman would be a great place to land the genes so we're really wired up for looks. For women, it's part looks and also the ability for the guy to provide for them for those first years of child rearing.

But biology is smarter than just that. Even though everyone can recognize the perfect genetic mate, very few of us are perfect ourselves. So our definition of what's attractive adapts to what's within our own range of attractiveness. Otherwise we'd never mate and produce offspring.

I'm too short and scrawny to land a supermodel girlfriend unless I became a rock star or got really rich and powerful, but that's okay because while I might think a super model is hot, a quirky geeky chick is what really gets my motor running.

Saying "I'm looking for personality" I think is a cop out, because that would assume that an attractive person wouldn't have a good personality, which is silly. Many of them do. It's just our brain is wired into people on our own level, so when we see someone that's a genetic hit for us they have that "personality" we want(sparks fly).

[kallend 1,625]

My GF has a hot bod AND she's a professor of mathematics, so there

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[crzjp20 0]

oh man, when i first got to college i had a math professor who had just finished her undergrad, and was a TA, 21, and fine as crap.

Ah i got an A in that class.....

--------------------------------------------------
Fear is not a confession of weakness, it is an oportunity for courage.

[Guest]

Quote

That's funny! Yeah, I agree, though. I wouldn't trade myself in for a younger, hotter model without cellulite if it meant that I'm no where near as cool (and modest) as I am.

Val,

Good strategy. Make the most of what you've got. People will ultimately respect that more.

Silly anecdocte from my career field, see if you can tell where I'm going with it:

"It's easier to find somebody with a nice personality and teach them to be a technician than to try to teach a technician to have a nice personality."

In other words, it's about layers. Those who have both looks AND personality AND intellect have pretty much got it made in life, but they are exceedingly rare. We see more of them than we otherwise would thanks to the media, which unspokenly exalts such poeple as a social ideal, when real life just isn't so.

The core layer of your personality will be what people will ultimately come to know and respect. Yes, the "Beautiful People" (tm) get a pass on a lot of things based on their looks alone, but --

Youth and beauty are fleeting...what will be left when those have faded?

And in the meantime --

"No matter how how much of a raving beauty she is, some guy, somewhere, is sick of her sh**."



.

"The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat."

[crwmike 0]

Men and women choose and desire partners that the social structure has conditioned them to choose and desire. It's that simple.

The vast majority of men and women make 'choices' based on factors that reinforce and solidify their status and standing within the tribal collective. It's all pretty much dysfunctional on an individual basis but seems to work (apparently) on the larger societal scale

Thus, our 'choices' are really no different than those made by humankind a few million years ago.

For me, a woman with intelligence, humor, honor and integrity gets my full attention ...of course, it helps if she has a really nice ass.

Men and women are not so different. If you really want additional insight into human motivation and behavior, take a look at the realationship history of the more ...ardent supporters of the 'women only' forum.


Michael

Quote

So, I read these forums a bit, and I try to get a better understanding people. Many times, guys see posts of beautiful girls that they've never met, talked to, emailed and know nothing about. They'll say things along the lines of, "Wow! I'd like to hit that!" or "Man, I wish I could find a girl like that!" Pretty much, many guys claim that they want to find and have sex with an impossibly attractive woman.

However, this is where I get confused. Some of the men who ogle at pictures of girls who are insanely pretty claim that personality and intelligence is more important.

So, for these straight men that ogle at such pictures, my question for you is do you drool when you listen to intelligent women speak? Do you find yourself fantasizing about comedians who make you laugh your butt off?

My theory is that guys who fantasize about models and look at them a lot say, "Personality is more important," because they know they're not going to get someone that good looking. Maybe my theory is wrong, though!

Oh! Yeah! Forgot to mention...I know that there are guys who don't give looks much of a thought, but I also don't see those guys ever giving celbrities or nude models much of a thought either.

[Vallerina 2]

I just don't make myself clear sometimes!

Looking is human nature. I guess there's a difference between noticing a pretty woman and doing nothing but looking at pretty women (I'm not sure how much is too much...). The people that do stare and fantasize often about the beautiful people saying, "Personality means more," is what gets me, though.

There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

[aeromobile 0]

Quote

However, this is where I get confused. Some of the men who ogle at pictures of girls who are insanely pretty claim that personality and intelligence is more important.

So, for these straight men that ogle at such pictures, my question for you is do you drool when you listen to intelligent women speak? Do you find yourself fantasizing about comedians who make you laugh your butt off?

My theory is that guys who fantasize about models and look at them a lot say, "Personality is more important," because they know they're not going to get someone that good looking. Maybe my theory is wrong, though!

Oh! Yeah! Forgot to mention...I know that there are guys who don't give looks much of a thought, but I also don't see those guys ever giving celbrities or nude models much of a thought either.

I think we really want to nail them all.

[billvon 2,400]

>I'm sitting here though trying to think why Amy is crazy....

Well, she puts up with me for one thing. Although all in all she's a lot more sane than some of the others, like the mountain climber, the little AFF-JM or the twins.

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

The people that do stare and fantasize often about the beautiful people saying, "Personality means more," is what gets me, though.

Ahhh... the wolf in sheeps clothing.
Their mouth is saying "I'm a nice guy".
Their eyes are saying "I haven't gotten any in a while and I'm so desparate I'll say anything."

Very similar to the "No, I'm really not that kind of girl" and then, in parentheses "...with you"

The truth is very important unless it is interfering with something more important. If you haven't been worn out lately, nothing is more important.

[chaoskitty 0]

So youre trying to figure out why people say one thing and then do another?

Oh.. well you let me know ok? Been trying to figure that one out for a long time.

[winsor 186]

Val,

Your question is much more complex than it might appear at first blush.

My mother was once complaining about how men view women as objects and whatnot, so I asked her what the most attractive part of a woman's body was.

She knew better than to fish, so I told her - a radiant smile.

Be advised that, given two women with equally warm smiles, the choice is going to be the one with the fantastic body. There's only so much for which a wonderful personality will make up.

However, the observation that lawyers' preferred means of birth control is their personalities has some basis in fact.

I have known women who might look good in photographs, but were truly repellent in person. The idea of giving them pleasure was entirely unacceptable.

Other women might seem entirely unremarkable in a picture, but are truly radiant in person.

As far as intelligence goes, smarter women are better in bed. Sensuality is more cerebral than physical, and a woman who shows the capacity for ingenuity and creativity - as well as adventurousness - is a hell of a lot more interesting than one who treats sex as a chore.

So it isn't all one way or another. Looks are important, but don't make up for someone who is stupid, nasty, neurotic or some combination thereof.

Staying away from booze is helpful. In the days that I drank, I found it too easy to wake up with someone and realize that we basically didn't like each other. The biological part of the deal works just fine, but being around someone you can't stand out of bed wears thin pretty fast.

So yeah, there is definitely a threshold of attractiveness before going further is a consideration, but personality is critical for anything more than a one night stand.


Blue skies,

Winsor

[skybytch 259]

Quote

I'm sitting here though trying to think why Amy is crazy....

She married Bill, didn't she?

[Thanatos340 1]

The bottom line for me is how a woman carries herself. A Picture can sometimes capture a certain attitude or look and Yes, I will Ogle.
A girl with Mischievous Grin or Subtle Smirk will get my attention every time. And that good old "Catch Me - F*ck Me" look works real well as long it is not forced. However none of this will keep my interest for long if there is nothing behind it to back it up. Any girl that makes me laugh or smile even instantly catches my attention.
Two things that make a girl instantly ugly in my eyes.. Pouty and/or Bitchy looks. I am too old to deal with those girls. Always more trouble than they are worth.
It is all about Attitude.

[Muenkel 0]

This is a great question Val.

Obviously women and men are wired differently. It was meant to be that way. It is believed that men are aroused more by the visual, while women the emotional. When the two come together...HOT DAMN! But I am talking about initial attraction. I honestly believe that men and women tend to gravitate to their physical equal, meaning equally attractive to the opposite sex.

And BTW Deuce and Remster, just because you are chained to the fence, does not mean you can't still bark at traffic.

Chris

_________________________________________
Chris

[Layton 0]

some people are attractive until they open their mouth,then they get real ugly.like my pop used to say.don't matter what they look like someone out there is plumb tired of their shit.but as we have been told all our lives men are pigs to which i say oink!!

[jumpinjackflash 0]

That goes both ways though Val.

Women are always carryin on about sensitivity, romance, love, compassion, warmth, etc..etc...etc...

Every guy on this site either is like that or has a friend that has all that, and he's the one thats alone. Always. Mr Nice, Sensitive and Romantic, and the women think he's a milk toast.

Women want a guy thats a little messed up. A PROTECTOR. You know, a real fixer upper. Hot bod, a little stupid (but hey you'll work on that right?), not necessarily romantic, but a little lingerie will help right???

Find a guy that has "EVERYTHING" you'll find a guy thats alone.

FIND A COMPLETE ASS. You'll find a guy that the girls can't leave alone. They'll form support groups around him. Discuss how dreamy his eyes are, yet how incapable he is of sharing his feelings... How great he is in bed, but how you keep catchin him eyin up your sister...

Find Mr. Warm guy and you'll find a guy that has tons of female friends, but only actually gets laid every three years when the moon is full.

SSDD

It's on both sides of the table. We all know that a relationship that exists on the basis of pure sexuality will fail.

The opposite side is a relationship without any will fail.


So Where's the medium?

I love beautiful women, but I love a smart ass even more. Or, warmth, true, complete warmth.

Beauty has to come at all levels, and pure superficial beauty in the form of complete perfection, well hell, it's been said time and time again, somehow you end up losing on all other fronts.

BUT, IT"S BOTH SIDES BEHAVIN THE SAME IN THIS SHIT. NATURE FUCKS WITH US ALL. MAKES US FALL FOR PEOPLE THAT ARE SHITHEADS
I'll end by saying I've never had a blonde girlfriend, even when I didn't shave my head (LOL). Not that I haven't been attracted to many. NONE have ever been attracted to me that I can remember. EVER. Typically brunettes. I'd love to date a redhead too, none have ever shown the slightest interest, odd...

With that, we have to take into account nature too. Look at who's with who and you'll see some natural selection taking place big time...


Laters,



jjf

It's a gas, gas, gas...

[ltdiver 3]

Quote

Gotta figure they know -something- about the human body.

So do physical therapists!

We're smart, strong, -and- bendy too!

ltdiver

Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon