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Pammi

New prayers please

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Thank you everyone for your PM's and messages. I haven't been able to get back online because of other things going on since my father died a week ago. My mom is now in intensive care. I flew on a lifewatch with her and am now in Wichita, KS and she's on a respirator. She had an ulcer that was on a major artery and she began to bleed out suddenly. We'd taken her to the hospital last Sunday because she felt sick and dizzy, thinking it was something she'd ate. Her blood pressure got so low for so long that they are concerned about her kidneys and brain function. She also coded but was brought back. They did emergency surgery, telling us she wouldn't get through (chances were "slim to none"), but she did. Now, though, she's had 14 pints of blood and they are trying to get it to begin clotting again like it's supposed to since basically she's had an entire transfusion.

If you would please pray that her body doesn't reject the blood and begin bleeding out, that as they try to begin waking her up that she doesn't have much brain damage and that she continues to get better. Also, if she codes again they won't be able to do CPR on her well because her sternum broke last time they brought her back. She's stable now for the first time in three days. Hard decisions have had to be made, and more are coming I'm afraid. We had to decide whether to let her die or take a chance she may wake up a vegetable. I'm praying night and day we made the right decision when we had to.

Merrick is with me now, he flew out last night, and our kids are staying with an amazing friend who's somehow managing to get them, plus her two kids, to three different schools every morning. I haven't seen my babies in almost 2 weeks, though, and we are missing each other terribly.

I'm basically just out of it right now but if you guys could pool any prayers you have for us right now, I sincerely could use it.

Pammi

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Oh, Pammi, I am so sorry to hear about all the things going on in your life right now. Know that you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I know that it is possible for someone who has had a total blood transfusion to come out ok...he posts here with us so have faith and hang in there.

If I can do anything to help you please don't hesitate to let me know (PMed you my number in case you don't have it). I gladly come get the kids and keep them if you need me to.

Lots of love and hugs to you all.

--
Hot Mama
At least you know where you stand even if it is in a pile of shit.

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Oh Pammi, I hate that you have so much to bear right now. :( Many, many prayers will be coming to you tonight, you can be sure of it. You are one of the "oldsters" here and are a very cherished member of our forums. Hang in there, Sweetie. I hope everything will make a turn very soon.
She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

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Thank you all so much. It's a special little family here when people I've not 'met' send me PM's and well wishes on threads from all over the world. You've no idea how much it touches me to just have a word of kindness.

My mom passed away last week on the 11th, 12 days after my dad died. After getting to Wichita, they were able to do a lot of simple tests to see if there was any brain activity. There wasn't any. My little brother, me and Merrick were by her side when we took her off of life support and she passed quickly and quietly.

There are terrible memories of the last thing she said to me before she coded in the hospital, asking me to help her, I'll always have to live with. But there are also some talks we had right after my dad died, love letters between them that I will cherish forever, a romantic secret I never knew about them that I learned...those memories I'll treasure.

I was so close with my family, it's been so hard. Me and my brother's have bonded together in a special way through this. We had just spread Dad's ashes the day before she got sick, and now we have to decide where she would want hers, then we'll also take her lab's ashes who died a few days after dad to spread with hers. They'd had the dog for 14 years and it meant a lot to them. My little brother is struggling since he was the one who lived here with them and helped the most during Dad's lung cancer, so I feel this need to care for him, take care of everything so there won't be a burden when I have to leave to come back to NC, but I'll be leaving on Wednesday to come home. They didn't have much, so there wasn't too much to do.

But thank you all for everything. Honestly, I'm torn now whether to keep jumping or not. I'm scared to death to see something happen to Merrick now, or put the kids through this with me. Perhaps with time because I can't fly without thinking of wanting to get out :)

Thank you.

Pammi

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I'm sitting here at work, trying my damndest to hold back the tears. You guys have no idea how incredibly strong this woman is. I've seen her go through more in the past 2 weeks than I've had to deal with in my entire lifetime. I've been right there beside her for a lot of it, but I still can't even fathom what she's going through... yet, she remains strong. I don't know how she has managed to do it considering the situation, but she has taken control, and made sure that everything that needs to be done is taken care of. However, things are going to calm down, she's going to find that there's not much to do when she gets home, and that's when she (and her brothers) will need your thoughts and prayers the most.

In all the middle of all the tragedy, as Pam mentioned, there has been a lot of good. The memories they've been able to share with each other, the love letters, GAWD the love letters between her mom and dad, and the huge challenges they faced, and how they had to fight to be together... it's one of the most poetic things I've ever read. I feel so... privileged to be a part of the family and to have known these two amazing people... God Speed Larry and Shirley... Pam is my life's blood, and I can only hope that I can love her as much as you have loved each other. You are my world baby!

Thank you all again for all the PM's and good vibes, even if we do decide to quit jumping, I know we'll always have a family here. I know I've kind of been the prodigal son who has disappeared from action, but I have met a lot of incredible people from this site, and I'm sure there are 100's more.... all the best!

Blues!
Merrick

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Pammi, you have my heart's prayers for your incredible love that you've shown to both your father and your mother. In their passing, they knew completely that they were loved, and that is the biggest gift and help you could have given them.

In those moments when you doubt yourself and your response to your mother's request, know this: you did everything possible for her. Know for sure and positive that she knew your love, knew your help, and knew your heart. Know for sure that she is in a better place for her, and has been reunited with your father. And know for sure that she loves you, appreciates you, and will always be with you, as your father is with you. She lives in your heart, and that can not be changed.

What a special person you are; so loving and giving and incredibly strong. Remember that your strength will find an end at times, and the tears will come. And those tears will water the garden of memories, so let them flow. And then, when you're done crying for the moment, hug those memories close, and know you are still loved by those you lost.

You're in my prayers, Pammi. And Merrick, you too.

Ciels-
Michele


~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

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I don't know you, other than through these forums but I send my sincere condolences and sympathy. My, but you have had a rough time. Forever cherish your memories, they will be there for you always.

Jan


--------------------------------------
Sometimes we're just being Humans.....But we're always Human Beings.

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