quade 3 #1 July 13, 2008 I am looking for common lies that parents tell their children. I am -specifically- looking for lies that parents tell their children in an effort to get them to behave or control them, but any and all parental lies are welcome. The more common the better. Here's a short list of things I already have; Parents can tell when you’re lying because; If I lie my mouth will stink. When you lie you tongue turns black. Your eyes turn green. They would know, because God would write it on your forehead in invisible ink, that only parents could read. Santa Claus Frosty the Snowman The Stork Boogieman Magic Tricks If you eat the cookie dough you’ll get worms. If you keep making that face it’s going to stick. Romper Room and the "Magic Mirror".quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bigairnut 0 #2 July 13, 2008 My parents lied to me????? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JSBIRD 1 #3 July 13, 2008 "If you swallow chewing gum, it will stick to your ribs." 359"Now I've settled down, in a quiet little town, and forgot about everything" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stuntbabex 0 #4 July 13, 2008 "I like your new boyfriend" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bigairnut 0 #5 July 13, 2008 Tooth Fairy Easter Bunny You're not ugly People like you Ok the last two are really about my sister. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Beerlight 0 #6 July 13, 2008 - If you swallow a watermelon seed, it will grow in your stomachand - If you swallow a quarter, you'll need surgery to get it outwtf, whatd'ya mean there's no santa claus?!!?! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GaryRay 0 #7 July 13, 2008 if you masterbate you will go blind if you masterbate your hands will grow hair if you masterbate god kills a kitten if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbateJewBag. www.jewbag.wordpress.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bigairnut 0 #8 July 13, 2008 Quoteif you masterbate you will go blind if you masterbate your hands will grow hair if you masterbate god kills a kitten if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate if you masterbate Holy crap that's funny. But your parents must be pretty cool (in an odd sort of way) if they even TALKED to you about masturbation. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kbordson 8 #9 July 13, 2008 If you stick your tongue out a bird will come and peck it off (or will come and poop on it) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindsey 0 #10 July 13, 2008 Quote If you stick your tongue out a bird will come and peck it off (or will come and poop on it) I told my son that flies would land on it. He quit sticking out his tongue...lol. It's funny, because he and I were laughing about that just the other day. Now that he's 11, he doesn't believe it anymore. HA! :) linz-- A conservative is just a liberal who's been mugged. A liberal is just a conservative who's been to jail Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ltdiver 3 #11 July 13, 2008 My parents never lied to me....ltdiver Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #12 July 13, 2008 SC 3...2...1 Religion is the biggest lie to keep people in check.My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darktreader 0 #13 July 14, 2008 1. my belly button is where the indians shot me as a baby 2. I was found under a rock. 3. if I crossed my eyes they could stick and stay that way"Before we waste time talking and getting to know each other, let's just have sex once and see if we're compatible" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 24 #14 July 14, 2008 "You're special" Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #15 July 14, 2008 "Run in and get a Coke while we ask for directions. We'll wait for you." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shermanator 3 #16 July 14, 2008 my sister was over the other day, and we were questioning her lil 5 year old about a 'boyfriend' that she kissed. Her mommy was telling her that if she didn't tell the truth, that bugs will start flying out of her mouth. and she tells both kids, to keep them inside, or going out without a jacket, that the flu BUG will get them.CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08 CSA #720 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
omnia 0 #17 July 14, 2008 my parents told me I couldn't fly. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Samurai136 0 #18 July 14, 2008 Lies? It was reverse psychology... Any food the kid doesn't want to eat will make their ears (or nose) fall off. "Please don't eat your peas, if you do it will make your ears fall off." "Adults are immune to this effect. But little kids are in danger. Don't eat your peas." "Buttons aren't toys." - Trillian Ken Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KevinMcGuire 0 #19 July 14, 2008 There is a god Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 3 #20 July 14, 2008 QuoteLies? It was reverse psychology... No. Reverse psychology is when they specifically tell you to do or not do something in order to get you to do the opposite. Reverse psychology is when Br'er Rabbit tells Br'er Fox to NOT to throw him in the briar patch in the hopes that he will. Everything that I've listed and most of the things that others have listed up to this point are just outright lies. The ones I especially "like" are the lies told by parents to control behavior of lies in children. BTW, I'm not really looking for "joke" answers, I can make up jokes all day long. What I'm looking for are actual things your parents lied about in attempts to control children. Sure, some of them are going to be "funny", but they don't have to be in order to be included.quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #21 July 14, 2008 First off kids are horrible liars, so I could always (still mostly can ) tell when mine were lying so up until about 2 years ago I used to tell them that its in a book. If I knew they were lying Id keep asking and say "are you sure? cause I can just check in the book and it will tell me" . I still tell them "Ill sell you on ebay" but they all know thats a joke / they are racking my nerves. The big lies I never told them, ie santa, easter bunny, and the tooth fairy. I figured the truth was better then the lie.Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
banesanura 1 #22 July 14, 2008 QuoteSC 3...2...1 Religion is the biggest lie to keep people in check. I can't agree more.Best Girl Scout Ever. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #23 July 14, 2008 Quote The big lies I never told them, ie santa, easter bunny, and the tooth fairy. I figured the truth was better then the lie. Admit it-you're just a cheapskate momYou are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
poe62 0 #24 July 14, 2008 My parents always said I could be anything I wanted to be...I told them last night that want to be the Dallas Cowboys Quarterback, and they pretty much fell on the floor laughing at me. **sigh** a girl can dream, right? haha ~Nikki http://www.facebook.com/poe62 Irgity Dirgity Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #25 July 14, 2008 Good luck-and if you make it and parley the fame and fortune into dating a supermodel I want to see the video.You are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
