0
JohnMitchell

What made you laugh today?

Recommended Posts

Nothing today.
I'm still looking for something to compare to Riddler's SC story last week about the ex and his pepper-spray.:ph34r:

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

I was driving through downtown Puyallup tonight and saw the sign for a women's hair salon - "Curl Up & Dye."



You need to see the movie Earth Girls are Easy. Not just because it's hilarious, but that's the name of the beauty salon in it. My guess is more than a few "Curl Up & Dye" beauty salons are named for it.
quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I was heading back to work after lunch and about a block away from an intersection in a residential area I noticed a crow standing on the edge of the curb.

A half a block out he (or she) hopped into the crosswalk and slowly started walking across the street. I pulled up to the intersection (a four way stop) and stopped as the crow crossed directly in front of me. It didn't give me a second look and it kept the same pace the whole way across the street, staying in the crosswalk, before hopping up onto the sidewalk on the other side and continuing on its way.

My friend from work shook his head slowly and said, "Only in California."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

I was heading back to work after lunch and about a block away from an intersection in a residential area I noticed a crow standing on the edge of the curb.

A half a block out he (or she) hopped into the crosswalk and slowly started walking across the street. I pulled up to the intersection (a four way stop) and stopped as the crow crossed directly in front of me. It didn't give me a second look and it kept the same pace the whole way across the street, staying in the crosswalk, before hopping up onto the sidewalk on the other side and continuing on its way.

My friend from work shook his head slowly and said, "Only in California."




In New York it would have been a Jaybird and not in the cross walk.:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
A video on the news. A robber walked into a convenience store and demanded money from the clerk. The clerk whipped out a pepper spray canister and hosed the robber down in the face. The robber staggered out of the store to his car, and tried to drive off, unable to see well. The robber drove his get-away car into a tree, totaling it. Ha!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents. 


Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.   

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.. He tells the  pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.


At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.  
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. 

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door.

"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" 

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.  
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 


10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. 

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious..' 


The boy turns, and whispers back,

'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Quote



DUUUUDE does Tim the Tool Man know about this... or is just his good buddy with the beard

Now we know what all that "Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Argh! Argh! Argh!" was about.:ph34r:
"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Went to go get the phone out of the truck and on my way back to my apt, my lesbian neighbors girlfriend was sitting on the stairs repeating on the phone 'I have no idea where you are, just come to Brandon, FL'

Apparently she was giving her mother directions, but didn't know where the hell she was, nor how to get to the apartments... I laughed when I heard it and asked her where they were coming from, turns out they're on the way that I take home from work, so after a few tries to tell her mom how to get here (her mom is HAMMERED drunk, not driving) she finally gets the picture.

Neighbor invites me over for a beer... where we laughed at how funny the whole thing was... 'Just drive to Brandon!!' :D Like they know how to get here!

"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly
DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890
I'm an asshole, and I approve this message

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I heard an interview with Obama today, and he was talking about how great a job he was doing with the economy and reigning in the excessive government spending. Got a huge laugh out of that one.;)

(I suppose I will get banned and have to hang out in Speakers Corner)[:/]

"We saved your gear. Now you can sell it when you get out of the hospital and upsize!!" "K-Dub"

"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

0