TheBile

Sorry to invade this girly thread, but I would just like to say that the only women who should wear make-up at DZ's are the Whuffos. I've learned that all skychicks are beautiful without it and don't need to put that stuff on their face. Especially you, babe. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

There's always one whose humour transcends that of us meer mortals. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Working. Nuff said. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

http://www.fun.from.hell.pl/2002-05-28/naukajazdy.html Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

As I open this, Europe are 3-0 up with the Americans looking like taking the last of the morning rounds. Europe will not get over confident with such a good start. Followers know that Europe do well in the first two days and usually gain a healthy lead, but the Americans come in to their own on the final day where the singles play their part. Highlight of the morning has to be Tigers outburst on the first hole, following his second shot from the fairway bunker. A camera flash disturbs him mid swing, throwing his concentration, and subsequently the flight of the ball. "NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY SWING ! ! ! CHRIST !" Which nationality used the flash I wonder ? I'll be neutral and say it was a Japanese bloke. FORE ! Play. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Here's mine. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Firstly it's not just guys who blow off girls. This is the Noughties and girls also blow off guys (>insert rude pun here

LIVING ARRANGEMENT? Me and my Gerbil. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? A comic book from Dreamwave Productions. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? My mouse. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Scrabble. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? PC Zone / FHM FAVORITE SMELLS Febreeze. Cream Soda. Vanilla.[#003366] LEAST FAVORITE SMELLS? Piss that's been in a toilet, unflushed for 24 hours. FAVORITE SOUND? Falling Rain or A woman screaming at the height of orgasm (Faked or real, doesn't matter to me 'coz I can never tell.) WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Being depressed. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? How long a lye in can I get away with without being late for work. FAVORITE COLOR? A pastel shade of Turqouise HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? If I'm getting ringed I'm too busy to answer the phone. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? Lucy if it's a girl, Issnomine if it's a boy. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE? 6 healthy senses. FAVORITE FOODS Currys ! CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Vanilla DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? Yep, but nobody else seems to like it. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? No. I hug a pillow (I'm so alone ) STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? Cool because they are scary – I want to go on holiday with a buch of storm chasers. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? A corgi. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE? Lucy Cohen (A local newsreader who's very much alive.) Simply because she is 'The One' FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? The easiest one to steal from the Off Licence. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Libra (Do people actually believe that bullshit ?) DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? I don't eat any part of broccoli YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE? The administrator & IT consultant of a skydiving centre IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR? Grey. I've always wanted to be distinguished. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? I'm still asking myself that question so I guess the answer would have to be no. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? The bottom half is empty. FAVORITE MOVIES Top Gun. Transformers:The Movie DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? No. My four outer fingers are useless at pressing the right buttons. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Carpet Lice probably, feeding off the dead skin flakes that's been there since 1986. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 33. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Football (Soccer to you Americans)[/#003366] Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

I'm Kev, I'm a schizophrenic

[/#003366] It's unlike any soccer team colours I've ever seen. The spelling of colours should clue you in that I'm from the UK, and therefore have watched 'FOOTBALL', to give it it's rightful name, for years. (you Americans nicked Football for your game which more closely resembles Rugby !) Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

What's your favourate all time ad jingle ? This one is from a company called Princes who did sandwich spread. Princes salmon, and all theother flavours are nice in a slice fun in a bun a must for your crust make the moast of your toast there's beef, fried chicken and of course there's salmon or you can put smokey bacon or even ham on Princes. The eat you can't beat Princes : The best spread since sliced bread ! Or how about this one for a carpet freshner. Sing along if you know it. You do the Shake & Vac To put the freshness back Do the Shake & Vac To put the freshness back When your carpet smells fresh, your room does too So every time you vacuum, remember what to do You do the shake and vac To put the freshness back Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

..... I'm schizophrenic. It's crowded enough in here as it is.

Why settle for one. In me you can have 1 through 4. See ? I'm being honest already. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

I think you'd be more likely to survive using a technique shown in The Bourne Identity. Following your malfunction, signal someone to help you. If by some miracle they reach you before the ground does, grab hold of them, flip them over so that your on top and use them as a human mattress to bounce off once you hit the ground. If you decide to use this technique, please make sure I'm not the goddam mattress ! Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

It's better to have an obsession than an addiction. Give up the addiction for the obsession and the obsessed will no longer be addicted to the addiction. Better to be among clouds of moisture than clouds of smoke. Better to die through impact than die through lung cancer. Addiction : BAD --- Obsession : GOOD. Addition Alcohol is excluded from addiction label, as BEER is essential to all good skydivers. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Yo dude. I'm a desk jockey too, in the field of IT. The day job actually becomes easier when you take on the AFF because you spend most of the day dreaming about the next jump and going through the routine in your head, rather than that crappy paperwork the bosses want you to do. I started my AFF course in Tilstock, Shropshire. Although the personel there were very professional and friendly, the weather during the summer months wasn't. I travelled up there three weekends on the trot before the weather gave me a break to do my first jump. It also took me that long to learn to avoid the woman who organises the administration. She's a miserable bitch. A rare breed amongst the skydiving ladies out there. I would strongly recommend you save a little extra and do your course abroad. Most UK DZ's organise winter trips abroad to Europe. This is advantageous for 3 reasons. 1) Your not so much at the mercy of shit weather. 2) You can complete the course much quicker 3) The BEER is much cheaper. Let us know how you get on. As was mentioned before, your work colleagues will not understand the full extend of what it's like to skydive, so trying to explain your experiences to them will be frustrating. We've all been there and appreciate hearing someone elses account of their first jump. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

My mistake. Paying too much attention to the time on the side (it said 06:30am). It's Friday. It's almost 17:00hrs. My In-Tray is full but I don't give a flying squirrel because it's time for........ BEEEEEER ! ! ! Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Intelligent and Advernturous. Add crazy and you've got the definition of a female skydiver. What are you doing up so early, Lila ? Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

I look forward to walking on a deserted, tropical beach with a woman that I love. Her hair trembling in the cool sea breeze at a time when the sun is just setting in the clear, unspoilt evening sky...... ........before getting jiggy with her on the sand. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

LMAO before I even opened this post. The title was succinctly put. ROFL for the actual post. Nice one. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Hey, it's not a rat it's a Gerbil. They may belong to the same species but it would be like confusing you with a Gorilla. My proper nickname is Gerb, and a splinter cell of my friends started calling me Bile after a night of too much BEER ! ! ! I think you can guess why. Now it's my turn (Heh Heh !) Women usually like to promote themselves as intelligent, but your on-line name suggests you've got no brain. This of course is in direct contradiction to the intellectual posts you put up. So what gives and why haven't you got an icon ? Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me. A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you’re still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it. Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him. A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal. Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys. A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it’s great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal. Q: My husband doesn’t know where my clitoris is. A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal. Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay. A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal. Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one. A: I’m not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you’ve forgotten to cook him a nice meal. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Shouldn't that be the BEER ! ! ! necessities ? Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Geez ! ! ! Which truck stop did you hear those at ?!? Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Mine would have to be "I Wanna Know What Love Is" by Foreigner. The words of that song practically tell my life story. (Thanks to Amber for this post's inspiration) Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !