TheBile

U GO GIRL ! Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

I agree. Rats are ugly. True they come from the same evolutionary family, but trying to compare gerbils to rats is like comparing you to a gibbon. Totally wrong but easily done. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Shit. I thought we'd seen the last of the lyric posting. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

It's not as good as it sounds. There are a lot of retired pensioners in my area. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

.........and no, it's not my virginity. I'm looking for a piece of software (freeware preferably but any will do) that allows you to manipulate a 3D human figure (stick figure or otherwise) into any pose required. Kind of like a computer artisit's mannequin. Does anyone know if such a piece of software exists and if so where I can get it. Cheers. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

I can believe that. I reckon all FBI agents should be arrested for impersonating a Federal Officer. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

If they do, and the real one kills again, are they going to blame it on a copycat ? Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

You can talk in freefall. - You can, unless my JM's were yanking my chain whilst I've been calling my altitude out to them. Freefall lasts forever. - It could do if you got the orbit right.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while SCUBA diving. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any part of the building without difficulty. You're likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do. The Eifel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris. People on TV never finish their drinks. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. The chief of police is always black. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare. If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames. Wearing a singlet/vest or stripping to the waste can make a man invulnerable to bullets. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium. If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's in the middle of the afternoon. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth. Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology. All single women have a cat Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from side to side every few moments. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one. Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated. If a phone line is broken, communication can be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying, "Hello ?, Hello ?" Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings, especially if any of their family or friends died in a strange boating accident. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving matial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor. During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage, despite laying entire cities to waste. No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, it's internal gravity system is never damaged. If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity. You can always find a chainsaw whenever your likely to need one. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape. Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son's eighth birthday Many musical instruments, especially wind instruments and accordians, can be played without moving the fingers. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting. When a married couple go to bed, it is traditional for the husband to turn off his light and try to sleep first whilst his wife reads a book. Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. You can always buy a new one. Make-up can safely be worn to bed without smudging. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. All superheroes and supervillains know how to design, create and sow their own costumes within 24 hours, where it would take a fasion house 3 months to do the same job. The most successful detective in any precinct is the one that has problems with alcohol, marriage and authority. During a bar fight, it is customary to throw a chair over the bar to destroy as many bottles and mirrors as you can. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Pink Floyd - Pulse. It's a long Album so it should keep me going through my lunchhours for the next three days. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Come on, mate. You know Scots and Welsh are classed as English by ignorant foreigners. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

What a bunch of Horseshit ! If this theory was to be believed then ET would have had a dick the size of a stretched Limo and his film would have been rated XXX ! Anyone who has seen the film will know that his genetals were too small to be seen on camera. Spielberg didn't have the CG technology in those days to remove the offending item, which would have allowed him to bring the classification down to kids level. Although it may explain why Drew Barrymore had her mouth open for most of the film (and still does today for much the same reason probably.) Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Breaking a leg during a five-a-side footy match was enough for me to stop playing that sport. I was only out for 3 months but when I went back for my first practice session I found that I wasn't as nearly committed to the tackles and challenges as I used to be. I quit a couple of weeks later. I hope that psycho-effect doesn't happen to me again should I injure myself through skydiving. That's something I wouldn't want to give up. R-E-S-P-E-C-T to the Drew man ! Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Who is in Charge? All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge, "said the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen". "I should be in charge" said the blood, "because circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste away." "I should be in charge, " said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge" said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge" said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge, "said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss. The Moral of the story? The asshole is usually in charge ! While I was flying down the road yesterday (only 10 mph over), I noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on top of a bridge. The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car and asked me, "What's the hurry?" I replied, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?" "I'm a Proctologist" I informed him. A puzzled look appears on the cop's face. "A Proctologist ?" I responded, "Yeah, you know, a rectum stretcher." The cop said "What.....a rectum stretcher, and what does a rectum stretcher do?" I said, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then my whole hand, then I work until I can get both hands in there and then I slowly stretch it until it's about 6 foot wide." The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" I simply replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him on top of a bridge..." See if you can do this, read each line aloud. This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is Muppet cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top. Betcha you can't resist passing it on. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

......until now ! worksafe(ish) Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

It may vary from country to country, but it involves you both hanging from the ceiling in one form or another. Your rig harnes would be ideal if you don't have the strength in your arms. For the ultimate in coordination tests you could try it heads down or in the sit-fly position. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Was that a joke ? Enlighten - Chandelier ?

LOL Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

If he truly loves you, then he'll probably say something heroic like, "You go my darling, don't worry about me, save yourself. I love you." Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

If you do have the opportunity to bail, make sure you wait until the airliner plummets to 15,000ft. If you don't you'll mess up your hair, or something like that. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Phew ! For a second there I thought you were gonna say that the bungee one was really cute. Erno, if you read this, now that's what I would have called sick ! Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Have fun. Don't forget, you need to take into account additional rudder control when doing your 100th as you'll be naked AND excited. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Been hanging around at DZ.Com for too long ? Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

After burning 80 calories for myself, I asked my parents to fill in the 60-69 category () and extrapolated the rest. How's that for dedication to the science of knowledge and discovery ! Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

The final one is funny as frig ! Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !