TheBile

Days of experience. I'm totally worn out ! Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now after proprietary, hands-on research, I am proud to present my results. REMOVING HER CLOTHES: With her consent...............................12 Calories Without her consent............................2187 Calories OPENING HER BRA: With both hands................................8 Calories With one hand..................................12 Calories With your teeth................................485 Calories PUTTING ON A CONDOM: With an erection...............................6 Calories Without an erection............................3315 Calories PRELIMINARIES: Trying to find the clitoris....................8 Calories Trying to find the G-Spot......................4092 Calories POSITIONS: Missionary.....................................12 Calories 69 lying down..................................78 Calories 69 standing up.................................812 Calories Wheelbarrow....................................216 Calories Doggy Style....................................326 Calories Italian chandelier.............................2912 Calories ORGASMS: Real...........................................112 Calories False..........................................1315 Calories POST ORGASM: Lying in bed hugging...........................18 Calories Getting up immediately.........................36 Calories Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.......816 Calories GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are: 20-29 years....................................36 Calories 30-39 years....................................80 Calories 40-49 years....................................124 Calories 50-59 years....................... ..............1972 Calories 60-69 years....................................7916 Calories 70 and over....................................Results are still pending DRESSING AFTERWARDS: Calmly.........................................32 Calories In a hurry.....................................98 Calories With her father knocking at the door...........5218 Calories With your wife knocking at the door............13,521 Calories, results may vary. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

JM checking me before boarding the plane. JM : "Whats that ?" Me: "My Ribs" JM: "Skinny Fucker, aintcha !" Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Man ! Trying to find that boat was a stern challenge. I spent a hole hour taking a crack at it though. Water great test of observation it was. She can give me a bow job any time. (Whoops. That last bit was a typo. Sorry) Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Happy Birthday Dude. Isn't a great week to have one ! Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

My brain is telling my legs to do one thing but my legs do something completely different. They tend to be too far apart to start with, but even worse than that the right knee tends to tuck in for some stupid reason. I need a couple of wing mirrors attached to my arms so I can actually SEE realtime what my legs are actually doing. Or I could get my next jump video taped. Have you tried using another brand of Sports Bra ?

[/#003366] The cute one of course . Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

[/#003366] Hey Lila. I passed Level 3 (barely) on the second attempt but then the weather turned to crap, and so did my finances, so I've been grounded ever since. Good to hear your making such good progress though.

It's my 31st birthday tomorrow and I thought you might enjoy the following insert which came from one of my cards. Why It's Great To Be A Man Queues for the bathroom don't exist All your orgasms are real You can shower, shit, shave and be ready to go in 10 minutes You don't have to shave below your neck Flowers fix everything You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours The whole world is your urinal Farts are not just funny, they are bloody hilarious ! Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

[/#003366] I agree. I'm not human. I am actually a Gerbil who can type. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

What gives me a headache, Erno, is trying to figure out how your original post about ventilation ducts in movies turns into a hot topic of Moon Conspiracy Theories. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Mornin' Muttley. Sure did. They go on about several 'discrepancies' which they've noticed, such :- No blast crater visible below the lander. No blast noise over communications to Houston during landing. Inconsistancy of shadows, suggesting that their light source was closer than the sun (artificial). This was the most intriguing for me. Background mountains showing an uncanny resemblence to the surrounding landscape of Area 51 Photographs of astronauts where the lighting was 'too good to be real' No stars in the sky. Flag waving as if it's being blown by wind. The launch of the lander not blowing up a dust plume from the moons surface. Nasa's reluctance to point Hubble at the moon and photograph one of the landing bases to prove the conspiracy incorrect. What do you reckon ? Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Going to Jupiter by 2001 was a bit far fetched seeing as we haven't even gone to the moon yet. Conspiracists are a bunch of ______________ (Insert suitable insult here.) Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

What's the fastest anyone has achieved their Cert A in both timescale and number of jumps ? Has anyone completed it from scratch (with no previous experience) without the need for re-jumping any of the levels ? Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

That dog is gorgeous. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

We did that old pipe / rocket trick too. My mate launched one in our local village car park. It had plenty of space but only one car was parked in it. He still managed to hit it though . Used to throw bangers as grenades. Light the blue touchpaper and throw. The challenge was to time the throw just right so that the banger exploded in mid air. It was like playing chicken with a piece of TNT. I did it at a family barbecue once. As soon as I lit it and the sparks from the paper started to fly my parents completely freaked out with shouts of "OH MY GOD ! !", "GET RID OF IT ! ! " and "STUPID IDIOT ! !" Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

There was a 1958 film called "It! The Terror From Beyond Space! ". It is set in the future (1973 ) and it involved a scene where the creature is hiding in the ventilation ducts of a ship, so the first thing they do is send a guy in. When he sees the alien, he begins firing his gun at it, inside the all-metal ventilation ducts. That doesn't work so they decide to rig up a bunch of grenades all over the ducts' opening, which detonate yet don't seem to hurt the ship at all. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

You want to watch where he sticks his bayonet. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

I think the word your looking for is recruits. We don't want this post getting smutty now, do we ? Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Only if you've got the room to handle them. If not I was thinking about the Waldorf Astoria. Nice big rooms there. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

I don't need an excuse for being crap. Nice piece of kit. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Everything else seems to find it's way on here. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

My only problem is that I still use a 56k modem. Not too bad for Unreal Tourney, but MOH runs slower than snot. Won't be getting ADSL until the new year. What about you ? Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Team Fortress Classic, Unreal Tourney, Unreal Tourney 2003 & Medal of Honor. Pick your arena. I'll frag your ass Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

That's just bloody crate ! What kind of a glasshole drives a truck with such pissregard for it's load. I bet he bottled it when the police arrived and blamed the accident on Alan Cohol. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !