TheBile

That's just too funny. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Just tell the Whuffos that they are more likely to die on that thing than if they did the real deal. Tell them if there's a malfunction on that piece of shit they don't get a second chance. Skydivers do. It's called a reserve. Some of that may not be strictly true, but tell 'em anyway. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

I think I've got the least number under my belt. Only 4 (yes, four.) Stop laughing ! ! Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

First I think, "It's big, it's square and it supports life. Thank f**k for that." Then I think about the possibility of the harness failing, like in the beginning of the film Cliffhanger. Then I look at the ground and think, "All things being equal I'd rather be at another dropzone. Shropshire, England doesn't exactly have the most exciting of views from 4500ft ! It's very flat with just different shades of green squares as far as the eye can see. It's like looking down at an unfasionable patchwork quilt. It's how I would imagine Iowa would look like. Then I think about how painful it was when I broke my leg playing soccer a couple of years ago, and how I don't want it to happen again. That focuses my concentraion on getting the landing right. Finally, when I'm down, I think about how long the walk back to the centre is.... Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

At a computer exposition, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If General Motors had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's coments, GM issue a press release stating, "If General Motors had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics :- For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day. Every time the lines in the road were repainted, you would have to buy a new car. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason, you would simply accept this. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light. The airbag system would ask "are you sure ?" before deploying. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. Every time GM introduced a new car, buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Hey ! Let's have some respect for Gerbils, eh !?! Take the piss out of Hamsters, Rats and Guinea Pigs all you like, but leave the Gerbils alone, OK ! Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Menu for the answering service recently installed at the Peahazel Mental Institution Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline. If you are a obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, pres 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the 'Mother Ship'. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are a manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no one will answer. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line. If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mothers maiden name. If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000. If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

I would have gone to see a shrink much sooner. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

No natural ability here. I pretty much suck at everything but that won't stop me from doing it. It'll just mean a greater sense accomplishment when It all finally comes together. After my fourth jump I got laughed at by a tandem instructor who said, "Still haven't landed on your feet yet then ?" Not to worry. After 50 jumps under my belt I'll make it a point to land on his big-ass head ! Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Could have been worse. It could have been a three-way between Animal, Statler & Waldorf. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Sitting in the open doorway of the Cessna with my left butt cheek inside the plane and my right butt cheek outside the plane. To my left was the easy, safe, sensible option. To my right was a new world, a new adventure, the stupid option. The most memorable moment was going against my natural instinct to get back into that plane, and the initial rush of thoughts and emotions that swept over me for a fast second as I pushed myself out of that aircraft. Then again, I don't think I'll ever forget paying the bill either ! ! ! Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

I'm good at jumping female students. I'm a master at it. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

I thought I'd join in on the act. I've been breeding Gerbils for over a decade now. Here's a piccie of one of the females. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

From the opposite end, has anyone left an aircraft where they have decelerated into freefall ? Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

I'm from the Capital of Wales in the UK and I'd just like you all to know that, although there are 3340 miles (5374 km) between us and New York, our thoughts are with you and yours, side by side, on this day. The Bile.

Not me, I'm an atheist. It makes me laugh when I hear, "Skydiving up there is the closest you'll get to God." No it isn't. Hit the ground at 120mph when both chutes fail and you'll be standing right next to him. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

As you all know, when jumping out of an airplane you don't get a sense of acceleration because you translate from about 100mph to 120mph in about 10 seconds. Has anyone jumped from a chopper or a big-ass balloon ? If so, what was it like ? Did you get a sense of that acceleration ? I suppose you can include BASE jumping in that list too. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Shoot yourself in the head. You'd be in no state to worry about the dilemma then. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

Started off slow, has now stalled and I'm trying to get it started again. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

0:0:10 Excuses: Heather had a headache : Weather is a headache : Never had a Headache ! Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

I'm lovin' these. Keep 'em comin' people. I think I should answer my own question before someone tells me to. Quote on my first AFF jump "One-Thousand...Two-Thousand...Three-Thousand...Four-Thousand...Check Canopy.........Thank F**k for that !" Quote from my Second jump as my Primary Jumpmaster gave me an equipment check on the ground. Feeling the tautness of my front strap. JM: "What's that. What have you got inside your Jumpsuit ?" Me: "Those are my ribs mate." JM: "Skinny f**ker aintcha !" Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

The only thing you can blame Canada for is Celine Dion. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

I'd be interested to know what the most memorable quote from your first ever freefall jump was. It can either be something you said or something someone said to you. No made up ones please. Honest, original quotes. Cheers. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

How often you go can depend on the weather, especially here in the UK. I went to a Dropzone three weekends on the trot and couldn't do a jump until that third one . I'm an AFF student and my advice to you would be to start off with a Tandem. Make sure that the unique experience of skydiving is the one your looking for. It's not for everyone and you may not get the adrenelin rush your expecting. I was told by my instructors that they have had a few students who have wasted a heafty deposit thinking it was a sport they wanted to get into, only to realise that leaving a perfectly good Cessna at 12,500ft was too much for them. If your still sure you want to do it (and why shouldn't you be, it's a kick ass ride ) then pick the course that best suits your pocket (see Nicks post for costs) and diary commitments. Who knows. In a couple of years I may be grabbing your ankles at 10k. Cheers. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

I work for a Government Agency as a "Technical Assistant". Basically I help out dumb-ass project managers with their IT problems. And when I say "Dumb-Ass" I mean that some of them have had a PC on their desk for 4 years and they still don't know how to send an e:mail attachment. You can see how I can get bored so easily. It's about as exciting as looking for a HTML coding error. This is why I need skydiving in my life. Roll on the clear skies ! ! ! Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !