riddler

Sammich-Maker Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Truthfully, it does not matter how much Romney abused our criminal tax code. What matters is that 22% of the American populace will not vote for a Mormon. Simple poll statistic. And unlike some prejudices, it cannot be changed by a simple PR campaign. Religious intolerance is taught from the beginnings of faith. If the Republicans want to win, they will not put Romney up against Obama, based solely on the fact that Romney wears funny underwear. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Class warfare at it's finest. The poor are the enemy. Kill them all. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

I'm against regulation of the Internet. However, this one needed to be shut down. A handful of Germans move to New Zealand to hopefully avoid prosecution by western authorities. Their business model is to sell ads on a site that is dedicated to stealing copyrighted material. With part of their profits, they buy mansions, exotic cars (a Rolls-Royce Phantom, and 20 other luxury autos), build a safe-room inside their houses for when the police eventually show up (they had to cut Kim D.C. out of it), private jets, etc, etc. The dude bragged that he was smarter than Bill Gates, then duped stock investors and fled to Thailand, was captured and jailed. All this BEFORE before starting this new "venture" called Mega-upload. Seriously, if the media reports are even half true, this is a criminal POS enterprise, unlike a lot of the people and businesses that are being unfairly prosecuted by the government and big-name corporations. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

I hereby nominate Twardo for the most "courageous" member of DZ.com. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

To be fair, the Bible prohibits coveting thy neighbor's wife. Doesn't say anything about coveting the master's wife. So sex with the family pet is obviously a loophole that God missed. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

You're thinking of Gamma Rays, courtesy of Marvel Comics. They also turn you into a large, muscular but mildly stupid superhuman. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

It's all good, unless you are violating the Standard Creepiness Rule. 1/2 your age + 7 = minimum age of partner. Any less, you are creepy. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Crocs do inhabit that river, but no where near there. They stay away from rapids, and don't care for fast-moving water. When I was in Belize I watched Mennonite boys jumping into a crocodile infested waters on a home-made diving board. The river was extremely calm at this point, and I could see crocodiles on the opposing bank, not 50 yards away. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

I think Jon Stewart said it was the EPA Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

PeacefulWarrior's school for Peaceful Warriors. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

By this logic, we should also ban people from holding water bottles, hardcover books, heavy kids-toys, and any number of dense objects I have seen people holding in their laps on the taxiway/runway and during takeoff/landing. I'm not against the idea, but the presumption of electronic things being bad solely because they are electronic is misplaced logic. I have a 7" reader that weighs about the same as my 4" cell phone. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Chinese names are the most fun for Americans. I went to a college with a girl named "Yuk Fu". Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Then shoves Sauron's eye into the Cracks of Mount Doom until it upchucks the One Ring. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

So do a lot of homeless people I've walked by. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

On the contrary, support for the 2012 NDAA is somewhere between 2% and 9%, depending on which poll you believe. I don't think this act by the President will go un-noticed in this year's election. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

When Obama criticized Bush, it was about the detention of foreign prisoners. The NDAA law that Obama just signed now makes it legal to detain American citizens without a lawyer, and without trial, forever. This is much, much worse. The Fourth, Fifth and Sixth Amendments to the Bill of Rights are now destroyed. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

I think it was more like a bunjee jump gone bad. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

If you want a 10" Android tablet, Motorola XOOM If you want a 7" Android tablet, Samsung Galaxy Tab 7.0 Plus (these are brand new, and I have one, and also an older Galaxy Tab 7). If you want a Windows tablet, Samsung 7 Slate. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Where, oh where is the pepper spray, and authentic Lt Pike with the kung-fu grip? Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

I only opened this thread because I thought you were asking who farted, and I was going to fess up. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

From http://inventors.about.com/od/articlesandresources/a/christmas.htm: There you have it. An artificial tree is nothing more than a flagpole with a bunch of toilet bowl brushes sticking out of it. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

When I was a kid, my mom put presents under the tree. MY brother and I were good kids and never opened them. There were only a couple, usually, since we were kinda poor. But we had to learn to ignore them as best we could until Christmas. My ex's father just hid the presents until Christmas morning. He's a smart guy. I'm doing the same. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

A pic of Shah with a light bulb in his mouth. Now that would be funny. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

From here: Earlier today, the most intriguing athlete bio in the history of athlete bios made the rounds. Zung Nguyen, a 37-year old defenseman for a Boston-area men's hockey league, became an instant legend for this single sentence: "PLAYER KICKED OUT OF LEAGUE FOR DEFECATING IN OPPONENT'S GLOVE FOLLOWING A FIGHT ON THE ICE." We put out a call for more information, and you did not disappoint. We spoke to teammates of both pooper and poopee, and have been able to reconstruct just what led one grown man to shit in another's gear. Rogue Squadron and the Young Guns were first and second in their division, but it was not a grudge match when they faced off late on a Friday night. With players ranging from their late 20s to north of 50, it's usually just good, clean fun for men willing to pay $495 to play hockey intense enough to satisfy the need for competition, but casual enough for a case of beer to be on ice in every locker room. So there was no bad blood, only a late season game with first place on the line at the Pilgrim Rink in Hingham, Mass. But the fireworks began early. Just a few seconds in the game, the puck ended up trapped against the boards in the Young Guns' zone. Rogue Squadron defenseman Zung Nguyen had it pinned, with Young Guns' d-man Dave Bermingham trying to poke it free. Nguyen gave Bermingham a few pokes to the ribs with the butt of his stick, "Bermie" responded in kind, and the gloves came off. This was rare in itself. The "D" level is reportedly one of the more "goonish" leagues in the NESHL, and the 41-year-old Bermingham is described by a teammate as a "meathead" who's always looking to scrap. But because fighting is outlawed and grounds for immediate ejection, it's very rare to have an honest bare-knuckled fight. Nguyen, who had zero penalty minutes before this game, wasn't a fighter. A former teammate says he was never particularly crazy, and there are 50 other guys in the league he'd have pegged to pull something like this before Nguyen. Sometimes, you catch a guy on the wrong day. Players on both sides say Bermingham won the fight clearly—"beat the crap out him," to use one's unfortunate phrase. Both players got unsportsmanlike conduct majors, and game misconducts; their nights were done. As they skated back to their respective locker rooms, a still-furious Nguyen hurled one of Bermingham's gloves over the glass into an empty section of seats. That was supposed to be the end of it. "Guys get into it," one Rogue Squadron player said, "and then they move on. It's just rec league hockey." Just after the second period began, Nguyen emerged from his locker room and went into the seats near where he had thrown Bermingham's glove. Teammates thought Nguyen was going to see his girlfriend, who had come to watch him play. Soon after, he went down to the corner of the arena, a semi-secluded area near where the Zamboni enters the ice. Young Guns players on the bench saw him squatting there, but didn't think anything of it at the time. He then returned the glove to its original spot in the seats. Midway through the second period, Bermingham came out of his locker room. He had showered and changed and was ready to crack open a beer but needed to collect the last of his scattered equipment. Those gloves were nearly new: this was the second game he had worn them, and the price tag was still on. Bermie went into the seats where it had landed, picked it up, and put his hand in. Inside, shit. Fresh, wet, warm, pungent human shit. Bermingham held the glove at arms length and immediately ran alongside the dasher to hand it to a referee. He then stormed off to the locker room. "Bermie knew he needed to get out of there or he would have killed the guy," one says. "And he probably needed to wash his hands." The referees immediately declared the game a forfeit win for the Young Guns. At a league meeting the next Monday morning, the NESHL banned Nguyen for life, with no refund on his entry fee. Since he was signed up for three teams at once, he was out $1500. As it turns out, Rogue Squadron has won every game this year in which one of their players didn't poop inside an opponent's equipment. They lead the Young Guns by a single point in the standings, with just two games left to play. In their first game following the incident, Rogue Squadron passed the hat in the locker room to buy Bermingham a gift card for a sporting goods store. They heard he needed new gloves. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD