Jessica 0 #1 January 28, 2004 (I wrote this for my web journal, but thought I'd cross-post it here.) It's now nine weeks and four days since I broke my pelvis and tailbone in a dumbass skydiving accident. Sitting doesn't hurt much these days, unless I lean back too far and put pressure on my tailbone. It's lucky that I broke it pretty high up, because it only hurts if I move in certain ways. I know people with broken coccyxes who couldn't even sit in hard chairs for six months. My hip hurts a lot sometimes, especially in cold or humid weather. If I have a limp at all, it's imperceptible, but walking is still not so fun. Since I don't look gimpy at all, I hate taking the elevator at work if I don't have more than one or two flights to go. I feel like people are looking at me and thinking, "Huh! Asshole!" But gorry the stairs hurt. I feel like I'm hauling my body weight in a wheelbarrow with a flat tire. Anyway, that's pretty much it. Getting out of bed hurts, as does getting out of the car and any other situation where I'm having to lift my hips up farther than normal. But it's not a big deal. I remain very grateful that all I'm left to deal with is a little lingering pain when I get out of bed. My ass is still kind of numb, but I'm not much worried about that these days, since right after it happened I couldn't feel my entire left leg. The feeling has slowly returned to my calf and thigh, and I'm sure that the rest of the nerves will recover too. My insurance has already been stretched to the limit, and I don't want to get another $3,000 MRI for numbness that's probably not treatable and that will, with any luck, eventually go away. Though I complain a lot, all of the above is good news. I'm a very lucky chica. The reason I'm performing such a careful evaluation of my lower half is that I'm supposed to skydive this weekend for the first time since I broke myself. I don't mind telling you that I'm very fucking frightened. See, skydiving used to bring to mind for me a happy collage of delighted, wind-burned faces, of swimming on air that smells like heaven, of euphoria meted out in 5-minute increments. I understood that sometimes, ambulances and funerals were the price of the happy collage. But.... Right now all I can see are ambulances and all I can hear are bones cracking, and when I picture skydives, all I see are spinning, useless, malfunctioned canopies. Sigh. My boyfriend plans to come out with me to watch me jump, which will help. That'll be the very first time a non-skydiving friend has come out to the dropzone with me; it's never interested anyone before. (My best friend came out one time, but he made his first two skydives that day so he doesn't count as a non-skydiving friend.) I'm very scared. But even though for the very first time since I started jumping, quitting seems like an actual option to me -- it's not time. I'm not ready to stop. I want to do this team, I want to compete, I want to feel the wind burn my face for at least one more season. Anyway, if I weren't skydiving, I'd have to find another outlet to let off steam. And the only ones I can think of that would work have equal potential to kill and break bones. Or at the very least give me venereal disease.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spatula 0 #2 January 28, 2004 I'm no one special in your world, but all I can say is think about what the sport means to you and why you love it so much. You (and everyone else) knows the risks involved. Guess what though...you have an oppurtunity to continue in the sport and learn from what happened. Take advantage of that oppurtunity and embrace it! Not many in this world are capable of doing what you are (jumping), take pride in that, get to the DZ, gear up, ride up, get out, and live on..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #3 January 28, 2004 Well, after I broke my ankle at Perris last memorial day I was all fired up to get jumping at the American Boogie at Davis. Lots of friends coming out, lots of good times to be had. Then my good friend Sandi got her head smashed in by a dust devil. Just chance. As I drove out to Davis I started getting short of breath and having an adrenaline rush. A flight one. I couldn't figure it out cause I am very much not a "flight" person, but a "fight" one. If I didn't have two people to talk to about it, JP Furnari and Keith Wyatt, I may have walked away from the sport there and then. I'm so glad I didn't. Too much good stuff to be had. Bad things happen. To us and to others. I vote you stick with it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,148 #4 January 28, 2004 Jess, if this isn't the right weekend, it isn't. Nothing wrong with that, and it doesn't mean you've given up. I got hit by a car once, and broke both of my heels. The first jump after that I was so careful, and the second it was like nothing. But that was me. And we're all different. Are you doing rehab? It's the best thing. Makes all the difference in the world, and the older you get (no, you're not old), the more difference it makes. So buck up, and remember that you can't have a nice tall frosty post-skydiving beer without the skydive. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #5 January 28, 2004 I know you'll do fine Jessica, the fear will be there, but that fear will keep you out of conditions that are questionable and keep you safe. Here's (raises Dr. Pepper) to you, you'll do fine, I know you will. I know you love skydiving, and you're a very strong person, so I know you'll get back in the air and do great!--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
diablopilot 2 #6 January 28, 2004 QuoteI don't mind telling you that I'm very fucking frightened. If you didn't I'd be surprised. However this sounds like something you want to do. Let the people around you know how you feel, and they will help you take baby steps. Malfunctions and acidens are part of the game. But understand that they are preventable. Try not to dwell on them. You'll be doing a coached, or refresher jump I assume? Use the dirt dive to focus on the dive. Take as many unknowns out of the equasion by repatition. When you feel anxyity rear its head, beat it by calming yourself. Take a deep metered breath. Think of something happy. Take a good luck charm if that works for you. Remind yourelf of the countless number of times this is done everyday with no problems. Skydiving has a balance between fear (a natural protective emotion) and the ability to controll it and keep it in check. Have fun! Smile. Enjoy. Oh and..... QuoteMy ass is still kind of numb, shame, I guess spankings are not much fun anymore..... ---------------------------------------------- You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Designer 0 #7 January 28, 2004 Hey,was just thinking I could use an ass up date from somebody,anybody female right now?(lol)Have fun. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimmytavino 16 #8 January 28, 2004 ..Your sweet description of skydiving as " euphoria meted out in 5 minute increments"... Is GREAT!!!!. It tells us that you have skydiving "solidly in your heart",, and that the joy you will experience upon your return to the air... will be exhiliarating... . whenever that may be!!!. Yet..... more than once you indicate uncertainty, and express your concerns... more than once you say it's still a little tough to twist,,, or to "get out of bed".. and also.. you say that a close friend will be coming to the DZ for "the first time",, as well.... ....... Have you been visiting the DZ in the last few weeks????.. or will this be your first return there.. in a while Jessica???.. I only ask since maybe a day spent visiting,, seeing people ,, watching some jumps... would be less Intense for you,, and as such more enjoyable..... To heap all the particulars of this upcoming day,,, onto your shoulders..and and for you then perform to your own expectations may require a Herculean Effort on your part....ya' know???? How about making a tandem jump with a friend as TM..??...Maybe being part of a team,will give you a bit more confidence... or at least provide you with a partner should your opening shock,,, prove painful.... ya' know????... Go Easy... reallly let yourself heal... For Sure go the the drop zone!!!!! Smile ,, have fun,,, assure all those to whom you are important,, that you are doing GREAT!!!! feeling fine,,,, and sensible enough to recognize when the correct moment to make a solo skydive might be..... oh..... what do the doctors... say?????... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites chuckbrown 0 #9 January 28, 2004 I broke my foot off (yes, it was only held on by skin & muscle) 2.5 years ago. While not as serious as your injury, it nevertheless SUCKED dealing with ambulances, surgery, hospitals, rehab., etc. I have 2 screws in the fibula (which was broken clean through) and 6 pins and a titanium plate in the tibia (which was shattered). Quitting skydiving was a very real possibility and that thought was extremely depressing. I wanted very much to jump again, but by the same token, I didn't want to spend the rest of my life as a cripple, which is a real possibility if I reinjure that ankle. I too was very scared on my first jump back (and several more after that). While in rehab I made a promise to myself that I would not jump until I was able to handle the possible off DZ landings that I might encounter. That meant being able to run across rough ground at night, as well as do PLFs. After I convinced myself that I could handle any potential off DZ landing I jumped again. I made sure that I was prepared to walk away from skydiving if I couldn't meet my physical training objectives. My only advice would be to be honest with yourself in terms of whether you can physically handle the possible landing scenarios. The fear will be there no matter when you come back (so there's no rush). BTW, my first jump after my injury was 7 months to the day. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites slug 1 #10 January 28, 2004 Damn Whats the rush? Your riding the elevator at work instead of taking the stairs and you want to skydive. If you haven't done it already try a couple of plf's (sp) and see how you like it. Of course do whatever floats your boat R.I.P. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jessica 0 #11 January 28, 2004 Thanks guys. Physically, I'm ready. The bones are healed, I can run out a landing, and I have my doctor's blessing. I'm just a little freaked, but I'll be fine. Since it hasn't been three months, I think I'll just do a couple of hop n pops instead of a formal recurrency dive. I'm into the idea of a nice soft opening and having the sky to myself. This isn't my first time back to a dropzone since my accident -- I spent a full Saturday doing a ground camp with my team a few weeks ago. I appreciate the good wishes, and if I'm not ready, I won't jump.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Ron 7 #12 January 28, 2004 QuotePhysically, I'm ready. The bones are healed, I can run out a landing, and I have my doctor's blessing. Ok, but my OPINION...If you can't climb stairs without pain I see real issues with you and sitting in a jump plane, opening , and possible bad landings."No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson Papers, 334 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Brains 2 #13 January 28, 2004 I no you CAN do it. That doesn't necessarily mean you SHOULD do it. When the time is rite, you will return to the sky. If you want to do a tandem just to get the feeling back, let me no. Ps, mistakes just to agitate you. Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jessica 0 #14 January 28, 2004 QuoteOk, but my OPINION...If you can't climb stairs without pain I see real issues with you and sitting in a jump plane, opening , and possible bad landings. Hm. Thanks for the input. I'm really just complaining because I'm a whiner. It's annoying, but not real pain that would justify avoiding stairs. You know what I mean? It's the kind of soreness that comes when you're exercising atrophied muscles. I've been working eight-to-ten hour days for six weeks now, and I did a creeper camp with no physical trouble. But I will not jump if I don't feel ready.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jessica 0 #15 January 28, 2004 QuotePs, mistakes just to agitate you. A**hole! I was about to accuse you of drunken posting at 1:40 p.m.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jessica 0 #16 January 28, 2004 QuoteYour riding the elevator at work instead of taking the stairs and you want to skydive. No, honey, read my post. I'm taking the stairs.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Mad47 0 #17 January 28, 2004 Folks, I have to say Jessica rocks! Two weekends ago she was creeping for several hours and practicing 4-way exits at mockup and never complained that she is in pain. We will be glad to take you for some relaxing 2- or 3- way if you decide to go to full altitude this Sunday Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Remster 24 #18 January 28, 2004 Hey Jess, you take your time. If you feel ready (but still scared) this weekend, then go for it. If you want to wait longer, you should. As far that numb ass of yours, tell your boyfriend to help you get circulation in it...Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites KrisFlyZ 0 #19 January 28, 2004 QuoteThanks guys. Physically, I'm ready. The bones are healed, I can run out a landing, and I have my doctor's blessing. I noticed that you said "I am supposed to jump". There is no such thing as supposed to, jump when you are ready and fully healed. Take somemore time off Jessica. You'll only be stronger. I know its hard to stay away from jumping. I would suggest that you make sure that you can PLF without any pain(I mean zero pain). Please try on a soft mattress first. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jessica 0 #20 January 28, 2004 Fuckitall, just checked weather.com. Looks like God might pre-empt my jumping, not my ass.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Blahr 0 #21 January 28, 2004 QuoteFuckitall, just checked weather.com. Looks like God might pre-empt my jumping, not my ass. I hate weather.com. I think it creates bad weather when you look at it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Blahr 0 #22 January 28, 2004 QuoteQuoteFuckitall, just checked weather.com. Looks like God might pre-empt my jumping, not my ass. I hate weather.com. I think it creates bad weather when you look at it. Ya SEE???!?! I just looked and now all of a sudden it says the wind is gonna be blowing 23 mph. For the last several days it was only gonna be 16. Dammit why did I look? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites kallend 1,647 #23 January 28, 2004 Ass update? You should post a picture - it will make us you feel much better.... The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jceman 1 #24 January 28, 2004 QuoteAss update? You should post a picture - it will make us you feel much better. No pic needed, Dr. K. I carry a nice mental pic of Jessica's ass with me. You rock, Jess, but I've told you that before. When you're ready, enjoy your return. Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, more money. Why do they call it "Tourist Season" if we can't shoot them? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Unstable 8 #25 January 29, 2004 Pictures, Please.........=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. 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chuckbrown 0 #9 January 28, 2004 I broke my foot off (yes, it was only held on by skin & muscle) 2.5 years ago. While not as serious as your injury, it nevertheless SUCKED dealing with ambulances, surgery, hospitals, rehab., etc. I have 2 screws in the fibula (which was broken clean through) and 6 pins and a titanium plate in the tibia (which was shattered). Quitting skydiving was a very real possibility and that thought was extremely depressing. I wanted very much to jump again, but by the same token, I didn't want to spend the rest of my life as a cripple, which is a real possibility if I reinjure that ankle. I too was very scared on my first jump back (and several more after that). While in rehab I made a promise to myself that I would not jump until I was able to handle the possible off DZ landings that I might encounter. That meant being able to run across rough ground at night, as well as do PLFs. After I convinced myself that I could handle any potential off DZ landing I jumped again. I made sure that I was prepared to walk away from skydiving if I couldn't meet my physical training objectives. My only advice would be to be honest with yourself in terms of whether you can physically handle the possible landing scenarios. The fear will be there no matter when you come back (so there's no rush). BTW, my first jump after my injury was 7 months to the day. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slug 1 #10 January 28, 2004 Damn Whats the rush? Your riding the elevator at work instead of taking the stairs and you want to skydive. If you haven't done it already try a couple of plf's (sp) and see how you like it. Of course do whatever floats your boat R.I.P. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #11 January 28, 2004 Thanks guys. Physically, I'm ready. The bones are healed, I can run out a landing, and I have my doctor's blessing. I'm just a little freaked, but I'll be fine. Since it hasn't been three months, I think I'll just do a couple of hop n pops instead of a formal recurrency dive. I'm into the idea of a nice soft opening and having the sky to myself. This isn't my first time back to a dropzone since my accident -- I spent a full Saturday doing a ground camp with my team a few weeks ago. I appreciate the good wishes, and if I'm not ready, I won't jump.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ron 7 #12 January 28, 2004 QuotePhysically, I'm ready. The bones are healed, I can run out a landing, and I have my doctor's blessing. Ok, but my OPINION...If you can't climb stairs without pain I see real issues with you and sitting in a jump plane, opening , and possible bad landings."No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." -- Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Jefferson Papers, 334 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #13 January 28, 2004 I no you CAN do it. That doesn't necessarily mean you SHOULD do it. When the time is rite, you will return to the sky. If you want to do a tandem just to get the feeling back, let me no. Ps, mistakes just to agitate you. Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #14 January 28, 2004 QuoteOk, but my OPINION...If you can't climb stairs without pain I see real issues with you and sitting in a jump plane, opening , and possible bad landings. Hm. Thanks for the input. I'm really just complaining because I'm a whiner. It's annoying, but not real pain that would justify avoiding stairs. You know what I mean? It's the kind of soreness that comes when you're exercising atrophied muscles. I've been working eight-to-ten hour days for six weeks now, and I did a creeper camp with no physical trouble. But I will not jump if I don't feel ready.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #15 January 28, 2004 QuotePs, mistakes just to agitate you. A**hole! I was about to accuse you of drunken posting at 1:40 p.m.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #16 January 28, 2004 QuoteYour riding the elevator at work instead of taking the stairs and you want to skydive. No, honey, read my post. I'm taking the stairs.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mad47 0 #17 January 28, 2004 Folks, I have to say Jessica rocks! Two weekends ago she was creeping for several hours and practicing 4-way exits at mockup and never complained that she is in pain. We will be glad to take you for some relaxing 2- or 3- way if you decide to go to full altitude this Sunday Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 24 #18 January 28, 2004 Hey Jess, you take your time. If you feel ready (but still scared) this weekend, then go for it. If you want to wait longer, you should. As far that numb ass of yours, tell your boyfriend to help you get circulation in it...Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KrisFlyZ 0 #19 January 28, 2004 QuoteThanks guys. Physically, I'm ready. The bones are healed, I can run out a landing, and I have my doctor's blessing. I noticed that you said "I am supposed to jump". There is no such thing as supposed to, jump when you are ready and fully healed. Take somemore time off Jessica. You'll only be stronger. I know its hard to stay away from jumping. I would suggest that you make sure that you can PLF without any pain(I mean zero pain). Please try on a soft mattress first. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #20 January 28, 2004 Fuckitall, just checked weather.com. Looks like God might pre-empt my jumping, not my ass.Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blahr 0 #21 January 28, 2004 QuoteFuckitall, just checked weather.com. Looks like God might pre-empt my jumping, not my ass. I hate weather.com. I think it creates bad weather when you look at it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blahr 0 #22 January 28, 2004 QuoteQuoteFuckitall, just checked weather.com. Looks like God might pre-empt my jumping, not my ass. I hate weather.com. I think it creates bad weather when you look at it. Ya SEE???!?! I just looked and now all of a sudden it says the wind is gonna be blowing 23 mph. For the last several days it was only gonna be 16. Dammit why did I look? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kallend 1,647 #23 January 28, 2004 Ass update? You should post a picture - it will make us you feel much better.... The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jceman 1 #24 January 28, 2004 QuoteAss update? You should post a picture - it will make us you feel much better. No pic needed, Dr. K. I carry a nice mental pic of Jessica's ass with me. You rock, Jess, but I've told you that before. When you're ready, enjoy your return. Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, more money. Why do they call it "Tourist Season" if we can't shoot them? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unstable 8 #25 January 29, 2004 Pictures, Please.........=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
