I'm afraid to jump again

[Grandpa 0]

This is very difficult to write and I apologize for the length. After eight exciting, fun, exhilarating, scary jumps I have become paralyzed with fear getting ready for level 5 (a repeat). After passing my level 3 I purchased a jumpsuit in anticipation of my solo. Once or twice a week I would look at it, picture in my mind what I was going to do for my solo and get goose bumps and a feeling of excitement just thinking about it. Last Monday I did the same thing but instead of a feeling of excitement walking through my solo dive I began shaking with fear, I do not mean trembling, I mean shaking. My stomach began to get upset and I had to sit down. What changed? Nothing! What happened to me inside? It's horrible.
For the last four days I have been telling myself only think about level 5, there are no other jumps, only think about 5...it hasn't helped. I know I'm not the only person that has had this happen to them but that is how it feels, lonely. I thought I could resolve this on my own but I haven't and I was going to do my level 5 this Saturday Oct 2 with a friend from AFF 1. I was really looking forward to seeing him again and getting to jump with him finally (sorry Nate).
Any input or suggestions will be greatly appreciated. I want to jump but I could not in this condition. Help!

"I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving"
XGS#1

[SkymonkeyONE 3]

How long has it been since your last jump?

[Grandpa 0]

Sept. 11. Three weeks. Which has been my normal jump spacing.

"I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving"
XGS#1

[Brian425 0]

There are tons of things that scare us as students. Trust me, I am not that far ahead of you. I still remember the fears quite clearly. The big question is what is making you afraid? Is it the level 5 dive or the Solo? If you are comfortable with the level 5 jump, go and do it. Don't worry about your solo yet. If you want you can do more jumps with your coach before your solo. EVERYONE is afraid before their solo. I was very afraid and at the same time very excited.

Also talk with your instructor. They should have some experience dealing with people in your situation. On a personal level, talking about my fears help me del with it.

Good luck.

B

The only time you should look down on someone is when you are offering them your hand.

[jumpinjackflash 0]

Take this for what it is worth. Not advice, I'm not qualified to do that.

But sharing.

I used to jump about every three weeks as well.

I found though, that was too long a cycle. Typically, I enjoy the most when I go every week. Less fear/anxiety, currency goes a long long way to comfort.

Right now, I'm on an every other week sched and it works fine.

However, I find that towards the end of that cycle, the anxiety still builds.

So? My two cents? Three weeks is too long to feel comfortable. Especially when getting through your training.

The more current you are, the more comfortable you'll be. Also? Shortly you'll hit the point where your more focussed on jumping than you are being frightened.

Still though, even though I'm comfortable in the sky right now, I find that each day passes, I get more anxious.


In closing, this was not advice and shouldn't be taken as. Simply my sharing of my experiences.



Blue Skies,


Jack

It's a gas, gas, gas...

[mattjw916 2]

I was really freaked out on my level 6 jump for some reason, so much so that I wish I had video of it for posterity.

FWIW, I just sucked it up and jumped... of course if you are paralyzed with fear I wouldn't recommend my course of action. Being ex-military I have a great understanding of how I react under pressure, hence my passing the level with no problem whatsoever.

Everyone is different, so find an instructor you trust and talk to him/her.

NSCR-2376, SCR-15080

[catfishhunter 1]

You need to get back in the air.It took me 22-24 jumps before I finally got over the "Why am I doing this,I am gonna DIE, if I don't Die I am never doing this again!" As soon as I left the plane I would know why I did it but as soon as I put a rig on and started for the plane it would start up again. It will go away in time and the more you jump the faster it goes away. I still get nervous if I go weeks without jumping but going over my EP's over and over help keep it in check. Once I am in the air everything is right in the world once again.

MAKE EVERY DAY COUNT
Life is Short and we never know how long we are going to have. We must live life to the fullest EVERY DAY. Everything we do should have a greater purpose.

[funks 1]

its not fear....its ADRENALINE

[Jeth 0]

Just do it!!!
I'm not sure if you are talking about "solo" meaning first jump w/o an instructor holding on, or 1st jump off student status. I'm assuming you mean w/o the instructor since you are only on level 5.
If that is the case, let me tell you, I had the exact same thing happen to me. I had to repeat my "release dive" cuz I couldn't maintain a heading at all. I actually didn't do that bad cuz I didn't flip over or spin badly, but I still didn't feel in control at all and my instructor had to grab me and pull be back around every time. The reason I failed is cuz I was trying so hard to get back around I lost track of my alti and he had to pull for me!
Anyway, after that bad experience, I was really discouraged and also very scared about doing my solo (the next level). I had heard too many bad stories and I was sure when I jumped out by myself I would immediately flip over and not be able to get back and fight it too hard and go into a terrible spin and whack my instructor in the head while he was trying to catch me and then deploy in a bad spin and end up with a cutaway. Even tho everyone told me to trust the arch, etc, I was totally freaked. I worried about it all the time for 3 weeks. When I got to the DZ my instructor assured me it would be no big deal, no different than when they were hanging on -- I wasn't convinced. But you know, as soon as I got into that door, I could feel the wind in my face and I was ready to skydive!! Well, I was so worried for so long FOR NOTHING!! It was perfectly fine! I just arched like I always had and I slid down nicely into my belly-to-earth position. And it was such an awesome feeling to be flying completely free!!! Anyway, the point is -- I learned that I worry way too much, and I learned that I can trust myself up there w/o someone holding on. It's such a great feeling. Like all the other great experiences we have had -- our first tandem jump, our first AFF jump, our first release, etc. Flying yourself up there is so freakin cool, I couldn't imagine if I had chickened out and never experienced that. Now I can't wait for the barrel rolls, flips and tracking!
Anyway, sorry for the long post, but the point is -- TRUST YOURSELF! Trust the arch, it works!! And relax. If you feel yourself tensing up, just take a huge deep breath and exhale, it really works to relax your body. JUST DO IT!! You'll feel amazing afterwards.
Good luck! Don't give up! We're all afraid, too! It'll all be worth it!!

"At 13,000 feet nothing else matters."
PFRX!!!!!
Team Funnel #174, Sunshine kisspass #109
My Jump Site

[councilman24 36]

The first jump, and maybe the first few, are blind faith. Then you start reading the incident reports, thinking about what your doing, and realize how out on the edge it is. You learn that you can do everything right and still die. You realize how much you don't know yet. For many people the SECOND jump is the scariest. It's no longer blind faith. They realize where they're going and what they're doing.


I'm unusual, but I went for a couple of years of driving out to the DZ wondering what the hell I was doing. Why didn't I turn around. Then I'd make the first jump of the weekend and I'd remember why I was doing it.
Expect to be afraid for a number of jump. That might be 5, 20, 50 or 200. But one of the satisfactions of skydiving is overcoming that fear, mastering the instinctive fear of falling, and doing something that not everyone is up to doing.

Force yourself to get out to the DZ. Once in the atmosphere of people having fun it helps. You still don't have to do it. But if you can force yourself through the fear you'll land with a smile on your face. If you don't, then maybe it isn't for you. I had a girl friend years ago who wanted to get into jumping because I jumped. But she was in tears in terror hanging from the strut for her static lines. It just wasn't for her. It's not for everybody.
Get out there, see if you can get through it. If not, no biggy. Your really NOT a second class citizen because you don't skydive.

I'm old for my age.
Terry Urban
D-8631
FAA DPRE

[darkwing 4]

welcome to the club. For most jumpers the anxiety peak is several jumps into the training program. I agree that your 3-week rotation contributes also. One of the reasons we skydive initially is to show ourselves that our intellect (or at least conscious thought) can overrule our visceral feelings. Now is the time when you get to prove that you can.

Having said that, I would never cajole or browbeat anyone into jumping if they really didn't want to jump. Maybe you should go to the DZ and talk with your instructor. That is free.

-- Jeff
My Skydiving History

[Icon134 0]

I still get excited/anxious/nervous... In fact I'm getting a bit antsy right now (my workday is nearly over...) just thinking about my coach jumps (my coach is just awesome too... AFF-I rated and everything...) but as soon as I step out of the plane I always remember how it goes.

for me... Jump 13, was tough... because I had been out w/a broken hand for 6 weeks... and the day I returned to the DZ someone went in... I was glad I had an awesome AFF instructor for that dive...

Scott

Step out of the door... experince the element... you won't regret it... I promise...

--------------------------------------------

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[jumperconway 0]

I think you should go to a different DZ where you can add in a new visual of another landing area from the air where you know absolutly no one then you can justify this fear!

All kidding asside, I am afraid of heights and 3 weeks is to long for me. I do over 500 jumps a year and still occasionally ask. I took off for almost 2 yrs. after 1 tandem and 4 aff. The day I went to a different dz to do the retrain, I got in the King Air during a weather hold and almost threw up from just smelling the plane! The weather cleared and I was given the chance to jump and I passed for a day until I could sleep on it for a night be mentally prepared to jump. I just had to remind myself about how much fun I had once I left the plane. Door fear took about 12 jumps to pretty much settle down. It's normal, you are throwing youself out of a plane! Focus on the good, not the bad, it helps. Staying more current will do wonders also.

Good luck!

[Slurp56 0]

I didnt get a chance to read this whole thread,

but when I was learning (not too long ago) I would get extra nervous, my stomach would get upset, and I'd be very scared. I would force myself to drive to the dropzone (the drive was terrible). Whenever I stepped foot on the dropzone, the fear went away and I was fine.

You might take a drive to the dropzone just to say hey. Dont have to make any jumps, but see if your fear goes away once you get there. I was really nervous after ground training too, but when the parachute went on, thats when the fear stopped.

weird

________________________________________
I have proof-read this post 500 times, but I guarantee you'll still manage to find a flaw.

[Grandpa 0]

All these posts are appreciated. I find that hearing about others that have gone through this horrible period and were able to overcome the fear is very helpful (and encouraging). The most recurring theme seems to be to go to the DZ, even if I do not intend on jumping, and talk to the instructors about it. Also to watch everyone else having a great time and remembering how much fun I had eight previous times.

Although this would be my second attempt at level 5, I really don't care if I pass or not. I will have succeeded if I just jump. I will continue to read the posts for more suggestions and ideas until 5:00pm PST when I go home (gave my home computer to my daughter and haven't replaced it yet).

Wish me luck and courage for tomorrow, I will probably need a lot of both to even go to the DZ let alone get on the plane and then out the DOOR. I hope I can do it. I want to do it. Let's hope I can find the guts to do it.

"I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving"
XGS#1

[wmw999 2,122]

Quote

I will have succeeded if I just jump.

That is exactly the right attitude to have. If you smile and have fun then you succeed with an A.

I was shit-scared from about my 4th to 8th jumps (check left for about when that was -- I still remember it clearly). My first freefall was like a magic spell that lifted the sick fear from me.

Concern for my safety was left behind, but it was a whole different thing.

Good luck tommorrow.

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[President 0]

Same story - gonna go make my 7th jump (AFF L6 because had to do my L4 twice) tomorrow. And it was 3 weeks since my last jump - before that I was going out every week.
For some totally mysterious reason I am afraid !!!

Tried to talk to myself - tried to find out exactly what scares me and found that it is the walk to the door. The smell of fuel, that warm air from the engines and the door itself. Weird... I am not afraid to fall, nor to land, but I'm afraid to walk to the door. Plus last time my JM already let me exit alone because he was confident in me, yet somehow instead of feeling cool I feel WORSE than before my first time.

Thanks a lot to all the gurus - now I know it was a bad idea to wait for 3 weeks and that it is in a way normal.

[hottamaly 1]

REMEMBER TO SMILE There is a good reason we all love this sport. It's fun, and nerve racking
Since you are in So. Cal. I would suggest coming out to the tunnel in Perris and do 10-15 min. in there to regain some confidence. Just my .02 worth.
We've all been where you are in some fashion. Hang in there and enjoy the fabulous folks in this awsome sport of ours.

Skydiving gave me a reason to live
I'm not afraid of what I'll miss when I die...I'm afraid of what I'll miss as I live

[skymiles 3]

Hi Grandpa,

It sounds like you have a classic case of performance anxiety, and not that kind of performance either. You obviously are not afraid to jump out of a plane because you have done it before. However, you have failed an AFF level and you are now afraid to fail again especially in front of your instructor. In this thread, you have received a lot of good advice and encouragement, however, your fear has now become irrational and you need more than that. I would strongly suggest you book some time in the tunnel at Perris. This will alleviate the fear and enable you to relax and fly your body. As an absolute last resort you might consider taking anti-anxiety medication such as a beta-blocker. This type of drug blocks the inappropriate stress response you are experiencing but leaves you totally alert. People who have a fear of pubic speaking often take this type of medication. Obviously, you will have to consult your doctor to see if it is right for you.

Lastly, I see we both jump at the same DZ. I will be there tomorrow if you want to talk some more because I had a similar problem. Just ask anyone for me.

Phil

[kelpdiver 2]

Phil, that seems a bit dramatic for what sounds like the typical fear AFF students have, esp before they do their first unstable recovery. I too often went 3 weeks at a time, struggled with L4, and was very concerned about staying belly to earth.

After doing the tumbling exit at Perris (L6), that fear dropped substantially. Tunnel time may or may not help Grandpa, but relying on drugs to get by seems like the wrong way to go.

[Grandpa 0]

More great encourgement, thank you.

With everyones help, I have decided to at least give myself a chance even if it is a chance to fail. I will go to the DZ tomorrow. I have not decided that I will jump but I will at least confront this fear by going to the DZ.

Thank you all

"I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving"
XGS#1

[nate_1979 9]

Quote

More great encourgement, thank you.

With everyones help, I have decided to at least give myself a chance even if it is a chance to fail. I will go to the DZ tomorrow. I have not decided that I will jump but I will at least confront this fear by going to the DZ.

Thank you all

I'm glad that you are going to atleast be at the DZ :) I'll see you there..

Your AFF1 Buddy,
Nate

FGF #???
I miss the sky...
There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't.

[argon 0]

I've been going through what you described for over 24 years. 5 static lines-quit, years pass 5 static lines quit,years pass AFF-1,quit many years pass one tandem-bad landing broken back(L1),tailbone and rib-still recovering-I can't stop trying. For many years long before the internet,I didn't understand the fear and anxiety, its strange -for so many its so easy and for some its absolutely out of the question to continue. Its not for everybody,if everybody that did a first jump course,actually continued training,it would be one crowded sport! Its a personal battle,it makes you contemplate your own mortality, there is NO bullshit about this sport-perform or die. Blue skies ,black death whoever coined the term said it all.Performance anxiety,fear of death-its all normal-really.Think about it-you are jumping out of a fucking airplane with 20 or so pounds of fabric and rope-everything has to work to one degree or another or you WILL die. If that doesn't instill some fear-you are seriously deluded. I wish I had the I don't care fatalistic attitude-but I don't. I do know the sky is a magic place and I envy those that have developed the skills to play in the sky.I've taste freefall and it is magic. Will I ever succeed? I hope so. If you did it once you can do it again. Driving to the DZ is the hardest part.Best of luck. You are NOT alone. That is the paradox that is skydiving.If it was easy everybody would do it. Best wishes-when the sky calls,it really tough to ignore her.

***********
Freedom isn't free. Don't forget: Mother Earth is waiting for you--there is a debt you have to pay...... POPS #9329 Commercial Pilot,Instrument MEL

[BIGUN 1,053]

You may already be at the DZ, but I have a suggestion. Why not ask your instructors if you can do a "Level X" dive.

Basically, no flips, turns, or tricks. Just get out cleanly, do a PRCP and enjoy the freedom until pull time.

There's nothing that says the AFF program is an off-the-shelf program for everyone. It's a guideline of what can be done, not what has to be done.

You "can" get your "A" license in 25 dives, but there's ntohing that says you can't get it at 30, 40 or 50 jumps. What's important is to take your time, enjoy the air, relax and have fun with it.

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[peregrinerose 0]

Good luck!

I'm doing my first post-AFF jumps tomorrow, after 3 weeks off due to weather issues and lack of funding. Scares the living piss out of me. Decided to do a coaching jump first since it's been a few weeks, then a couple shits and giggles jumps just for me, alone.

My motivation is the $300 I just spent on a jumpsuit, the $1800 I'm forking out for my first rig tomorrow, and the grins on my husbands and my face when we are both on the ground and heading back to the hangar after being on the same jump load and anticipating getting back in the sky.

You're definitely not alone with this. My husband has 50ish jumps now, but he went through all this psychomess too.

Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda