Grandpa

Regarding: "I say we add as many 'firsts' as possible~" As long as your going to have his "first" water jump into Otay Lakes why not do it at night? I'm sure Slider would LOVE to do a night/water jump Any chance Nate can make it? Even if he is still boycotting the place, it is Eric's 100 "I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving" XGS#1

By the way, great job of sprinting to keep that white reserve white instead of muddy brown "I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving" XGS#1

I'm really concerned about how much Eric is going to charge each of us to burn the videos "I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving" XGS#1

Regarding: "...BUt I still remembered to pull the reserve handle " And when a wuffo friend that was there asked why he was still holding the reserve handle in his hand after his one foot drop/backward/PLF Nate proudly held up the reserve handle and said "40 dollars" "I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving" XGS#1

Here is a link to their site: http://www.thepops.org/ "I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving" XGS#1

Or here http://www.paragear.com/frame.asp?main=search.asp for $9.95 and type in Poynter. It is an excellent book. "I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving" XGS#1

Excellent advice: "When you jump (not if), your last thought AT EXIT IN THE DOOR should be something positive that goes with a deep breath". I will remember that. Thank you "I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving" XGS#1

I didn't jump. That's okay because I had an attitude change on Sunday. A friend told me fear is just another emotion and to replace the dominate fear with a positive emotion like excitment, exhilaration , etc. All the good feelings I had gotten from skydiving. Sunday I replaced it with ANGER. I am so mad at myself for wasting the last month. I intend on maintaining this anger until next Saturday the 23rd and JUMPING. I have been telling myself to go and watch and get the good feelings back. In a backward way it worked. I didn't get the good feelings back but I did get pissed off at myself for standing on the ground while everyone else was having a great time. It might not be right for anyone else, but anger is working for me. On a lighter note. My friend did his AFF 1 Saturday and had a terrible thing happen He had the "Slider all the way at the BOTTOM" malfunction He told me no matter how hard he pumped the brakes it just wouldn't go up. After considering a cutaway, he decided since he could flare and steer and had a full canopy he would try to land it even with the "malfunction". After we talked about it, he remembered about the slider from ground school There is soooo much to remember on day 1. "I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving" XGS#1

Your post had so many entries I have said or felt or done: "The last time that I was at a dropzone I waited all day to jump then when it was time to get kitted up I just could not do it." DID THAT! "I have let my fears get totally out of control and irrational" I KNOW MINE ARE. This forum, and the people I have met because of it, have reassured me...I'M NOT ALONE. Neither of us will give up. I'm going back tomorrow. "I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving" XGS#1

Thank you! The support from the skydiving community has been...fantastic. The stories from others that have been in this horrible, dark place have been encouraging and needed. I'm headed back to the DZ tomorrow to try again, I refuse to give up...I just refuse. "I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving" XGS#1

"Maybe soon your desire will overcome your fear and in doing so calm your nerves." That's what I'm pinning my hopes on now. I love jumping and the desire is strong. If willing it so can make it happen, then it will happen. "I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving" XGS#1

I couldn't do it. I went to the DZ and watched everyone having a great time but could not go to manifest and signup. I want to thank everyone for their encouraging words both here at dz.com and at SSD Saturday. I want to especially thank Nate and Phil for their time and support at the DZ. I also want to thank my daughter and the friends that went with me Saturday all knowing the problem before we went. I have not quit. I have not given up on myself, I have only had a set back. One of the suggestions was to go to the Perris wind tunnel and see if that will bring back the thrill and excitment I felt for eight jumps without any of the anxiety. Nate pointed out that fear is just another emotion and if I can replace it with the anticipation and excitement I once felt I will have suceeded. The fear will still be there but in its proper perspective again. Thank you all for your support, and please keep the good thoughts and suggestions coming. "I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving" XGS#1

More great encourgement, thank you. With everyones help, I have decided to at least give myself a chance even if it is a chance to fail. I will go to the DZ tomorrow. I have not decided that I will jump but I will at least confront this fear by going to the DZ. Thank you all "I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving" XGS#1

All these posts are appreciated. I find that hearing about others that have gone through this horrible period and were able to overcome the fear is very helpful (and encouraging). The most recurring theme seems to be to go to the DZ, even if I do not intend on jumping, and talk to the instructors about it. Also to watch everyone else having a great time and remembering how much fun I had eight previous times. Although this would be my second attempt at level 5, I really don't care if I pass or not. I will have succeeded if I just jump. I will continue to read the posts for more suggestions and ideas until 5:00pm PST when I go home (gave my home computer to my daughter and haven't replaced it yet). Wish me luck and courage for tomorrow, I will probably need a lot of both to even go to the DZ let alone get on the plane and then out the DOOR. I hope I can do it. I want to do it. Let's hope I can find the guts to do it. "I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving" XGS#1

Sept. 11. Three weeks. Which has been my normal jump spacing. "I know JUST enough about skydiving to know I don't know ANYTHING about skydiving" XGS#1