Perfectly Good Airplane Crap

[Katzeye 0]

Because the door was open

Is a chicken omelette redundant?

[KenKnight 0]

"Let's see, large hunk of metal, flying through the air, aimed at the ground. Just doesn't seem right to stay in it."

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D28695 PoPs #9237
"Mix ignorance with arrogance at low altitude and the results are almost guaranteed to be spectacular"
— Bruce Landsberg

[Chrisky 0]

Parachutes were there before planes, btw.

Actually, that would also make for a good answer, too...

The mind is like a parachute - it only works once it's open.
From the edge you just see more.
... Not every Swooper hooks & not every Hooker swoops ...

[Dumpster 0]

One asshole at work kept asking me if I still jump, in a very annoying fashion. So last time he asked me in front of a few co-workers (who don't really dig his shit-) I told him "Yeah, I am, are you still masturbating in the locker room?"

He doesn't ask me any more.

Easy Does It

[Brodes 0]

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One asshole at work kept asking me if I still jump, in a very annoying fashion. So last time he asked me in front of a few co-workers (who don't really dig his shit-) I told him "Yeah, I am, are you still masturbating in the locker room?"

He doesn't ask me any more.

That's all class haha

[champu 1]

I drive people down to the dropzone from my school every Saturday at 7:45am, as I stand by my car waiting at the union for the students to meet me I will usually ask random people as they walk if they want to come skydiving, I figure it's worth a shot.*

anyway, I get "why would you jump out of a perfectly good airplane" a decent bit (especially when I'm wearing that shirt that says "jumps from perfectly good airplanes") and I usually say "cause it has a pretty good door, and I had two pretty good parachutes"

/edit to add: *it's probably -not- worth a shot as at 7:45am on Saturday on a college campus, most people walking around the union have some damn important business to be attending to.

[mcrocker 0]

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Can someone give me a great line to throw back to the Whuffos that start with the "why would you want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane?" bs everytime I bring up jumping? I've heard the one about "the door was open" but are there any other great ones that I can use instead of throttling the little people that spew this junk??

Oh and I did my first solo today and it was awesome....

I normally say 'There is waaay too much duct tape on that plane to classify as 'perfectly good''

[FrogNog 1]

"Someone always farts."

"The plane is cramped and the floor is uncomfortable; we have to get up and stretch our legs."

"The pilot says the plane lands a lot easier if it's empty, and we like to help out."

"Because it makes my balls get bigger." (Elaborate from here as appropriate.)

"Because I couldn't think of anything scarier when I signed up for my first one, and now I'm just hooked."

"DUH!" / "You're kidding, right?" / "Mmmmmmmmmmmm...." + grin and far-off look in eyes

"Because they won't let me ride to altitude on the outside of the plane."

"I don't jump - I start out the morning getting my Jet-A fume fix at the local airport and the next thing I know it's 13k and someone's pushing me out."

"I like to call it 'extreme birdwatching.'"

"Swimming is too slow and you can't breathe the medium."

"I jump out of airplanes so you don't have to."

"All my friends do it." / "Peer pressure."

"I wanted to do BASE jumps but, hello, we're in Kansas!"

"You know that sound of tires squealing on tarmac on touchdown? That's like fingernails on a chalkboard to me."

"The view really improves when you leave the plane."

"Have you ever tried to do a Mr. Bill off the highdive?"

"I don't like that falling feeling you get if you're still in the plane when jump run is over."

"Can you even conceive what it feels like to burn three million joules of potential energy in sixty seconds?" (Figure for freefall of ~3300 meters in 60 seconds with an out-the-door weight of 97 kg.)

"My hair dryer is broken."

"Skydiving tickles."

"I joined for the chicks and the money, and by the time I figured it out, it was too late."

"The cops get pissed when I go this fast on the ground."

"I grew up in Salt Lake City, where there's nothing to do but drink or skydive."

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Pull.

[mr2mk1g 10]

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some damn important buisness to be attending to

really?? 7.45am on Saturday morning at my Uni and the only people up and about (other than us skydivers) were pissed people who had still to get home.

[Meatbomber 0]

Well i can't really help with the original question but anytime i stand with a couple of skydivers and someone ask the above question they usually all turn and point at me saying:

the plane's perfect but HE is the pilot!

Har har har
;)

[airdweller 0]

"why would you want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane?"

because a broken plane will not get me to altitude

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"From the mightiest pharaoh to the lowliest peasant,
who doesn't enjoy a good sit?" C. Montgomery Burns

[ZoneRat 0]

Of all the cool-ass things you can do on this planet...It's the MOST fun... btw, what'd YOU do this weekend, eh?

Another personal favorite:
Because Life tastes better with bigger bites.

“There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophies.”

[freeflyguy 0]

"If it is such a perfect airplane, Why does the pilot wear a parachute?"



edit for sp.

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bzzzz

[DJL 232]

I say, "Is that as much as you've thought about it?"

I, too, get bored quickly with small-talk and cliches. That's a response that will stop that scripted conversation that comes every time someone hears that I skydive. Now they say, "What do you mean?" and I say, "I'm asking you to think about it instead of asking the same question I hear from everyone. Why do I skydive? It's fun and I like the people, the same reason you do anything."

As for "the plane isn't so perfect." I don't really like OUR part of the cliche conversation in that respect. I don't jump because, "LOOK OUT, I'm a crazy guy, put me in a Mountain Dew comercial and call me X-treme! I'm a risk taker a rule breaker!" No. It's fun, simple. I'm not saying it's wrong to joke about the risk aspect, it just gets old with repetition.

Sorry, I'm no fun right now.

"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher

[wilmshurst 0]

"I like to call it 'extreme birdwatching.'"

LOL

The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm toilet seat.

[kimerson 0]

1. I should jump from a piece of shit?
2. It beats the stairs
3. I know the pilot
4. Are you serious?
5. Asking that question answers one of mine: You'll never understand, will you?

Years ago I was interviewd by a magazine and I was asked about our language, our jargon. I was asked what we call someone who doesn't skydive. "Whuffo". (I had to spell & explain the word). I was then asked what we call someone who goes up, gets to the door, then backs out. I thought for a second. "Always a whuffo?" was the best I could do right then. I think I meant it as an insult. Testy little bugger that I am. Some people will simply never understand the need, the drive, the basic, essential character that allows us to enjoy our lives the way we do. Some people simply don't have anything in their lives or imagination, or as part of their core make up that gives them any reference point from which to get a clue as to what compels us. As much as the question seems cheeky and amusing to them, it also seems completely logical to ask. To us, it's one of the dumbest things we've ever heard. And have you ever wondered how it is that they all come up with exactly the same wording of the question? As if it's taught somewhrere? "Whenever you met a skydiver, ask them this question in these exact words. Or they won't understand..."
Evolutionarily speaking, I believe skydivers were created first, then we got bored. So back in the earliest sixties a shrewd "parachuter" created whuffos for amusement and entertainment purposes. (I think it was in California, a foreign land already rife with amusing people anyway). It hasn't always been a love match, but it certainly has made for interesting - if lower functioning - conversations.

[HRHSkyPrincess 0]

Give them this from one who was once a Private Pilot, Single Engine Land, and who occasionally helped out the Airframe and Powerplant mechanic in the hanger: "There is no such thing as a perfectly good airplane!"

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Attitude is everything!

[slotperfect 7]

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I don't even bother. Most whuffos that use that one liner are just falling back on a cop-out that sounds good to them, even a bit clever to them. It allows them to stay safely within their comfort zone.

Skydiving is not for everybody, but that line is not for anybody.

I was at a St. Patty's Day party at a house heavily involved in aviation. The Dad is a pilot, and the oldest son is the youngest dual rated pilot in the US - baloon and single engine land. There are balloons, airplanes, propellers, and pilots all over the house. There is even a model of the number one Red Baron Stearman that I have actually jumped out of.

I must have heard "perfectly good airplane" 50 times last night and it was driving me crazy. I asked a couple of pilots if their perfectly good airplane theory was sound, why did they spend so much time training on emergency procedures in their pilot training?

When the Dad asked me if I had ever been up in a balloon (with the intention of inviting me to go for a ride), I told him only once - and I jumped out of it!

It was a tough audience, but I bet the young phenom comes for a tandem with me.

Arrive Safely

John

[yamtx73 0]

When I hear that question I just look at them sadly and reply "You'll just never understand...."

The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers...

[Orange1 0]

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... why does a dog stick its head out of the car window?

somehow this answer appeals to me, I'm gonna use it from now on!!!!

btw at first I used to use the "no such thing as..." response, but after the first incident report i saw of a crashed jump plane taking out people on board it didn't seem like such a good answer anymore.

Skydiving: wasting fossil fuels just for fun.

[JohnMitchell 14]

I've lived in ski country for years. I ask back "Why do people get off perfectly good chair lifts? I've seen people get hurt doing that. I ride it back down! I'm no idiot."

It sometimes makes them see the other side of the fence.

[alw 0]

I've found that staring them in the eyes "Meaningfully" and saying calmly, "You really don't know, do you?" seems to work.

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Every day is a bonus - every night is an adventure.

[brabzzz 0]

I've gotta say the novelty of answering the question does wear off. Especially when you're working with new clients/coworkers every week or two. I've taken to making up 'normal' weekend activities as saying shopping/paintball/cycling gets the "what ya doin this weeknd/how was it" BS smalltalk out the way faster. Wheras 'skydiving' inititates the same predictable conversation that i find i can no longer be arsed to have.

Cos it's fun and a compete 'head clearer' (in that you're focused on the jump and nothing else) would be a truthful answer. But they don't want to hear that, they want to hear about the adrenaline junkie madman daredevil side. Hence i don't bother.

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Ex-University of Bristol Skydiving Club
www.skydivebristoluni.com

[mdrejhon 8]

I just use the good old standard boilerplate.
"Why the hell not? It's fun!"

But, I love this other answer too:
"There is no such thing as a perfectly good airplane!"

It's funny. I have witnessed two airplane crashes in my life. One of them resulting in death.

(Witnessed that from 2km away - vertical crash to ground behind a hangar, and I saw the near-immediate smoke aftermath. At a local airshow sometime last decade).

[JohnMitchell 14]

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I've gotta say the novelty of answering the question does wear off. Especially when you're working with new clients/coworkers every week or two. I've taken to making up 'normal' weekend activities as saying shopping/paintball/cycling.

It's funny, isn't it? When you first start skydiving you want the world to know, and after a while you realise they'll never understand, so you just keep it to yourself, to enjoy.

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