Funniest whuffo question

[uponone 0]

I was told this a few nites ago at dinner with some redneck friends of mine.

"There's only 3 things that fall from the sky: rain, birdshit, and fucking idiots."

[skydance1954 0]

Yeah, I've had that too. Usually from guys that are looking to pick a fight. Or from people wearing big grins thinking it's cool to insult me, my friends and my sport in front of their posse. Naturally, to date, I've always been alone in the crowd when this happens.

I try to find a reason to leave as quickly as possible.

Mike Ashley
D-18460
Canadian A-666

[Icon134 0]

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I was told this a few nites ago at dinner with some redneck friends of mine.

"There's only 3 things that fall from the sky: rain, birdshit, and fucking idiots."

I'd probably say something like... "I never said I was smart " Then depending on the wuffos reaction... i'd consider running...

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[ROK 0]

Quote

I was told this a few nites ago at dinner with some redneck friends of mine.

"There's only 3 things that fall from the sky: rain, birdshit, and fucking idiots."

I had someone say close to the same thing to me a couple of months ago. I was in a bar and my closing pin necklace popped out of my shirt when I was at the juke box. This AH asked if it was an Italian horn, and I explained what it was. His statement was birdshit and dumb asses. I told him that I'd rather go my way, than at the wrong end of an angry sheep and I thought his face was going to split open....I left peacefully before too much liquid courage was consumed by all.

[Smeger 0]

I'm not a meteorologist or anything, but I've been storm chasing a few times.

The updrafts in a severe thunderstorm can reach well over 100mph. Updrafts of some classic and HP supercell storms have been know to spike 60,000ft, sometimes even punching through the stratosphere itself. The upper level jetstream can exceed 150mph horizontally, which blows all the hail and rain off to the front of the updraft, allowing it to continue to strengthen. If he was caught in that (30,000ft or so), he could be carried hundreds of miles, even be lifted back up into the storm by wrap around mid-level winds.
I heard that story aswell, but from chases on my tour. He must have had the ride of his life. Depending on how high up in the storm he was and where abouts in the storm, supercell cores can have hail up to baseball or even grapefruit size, bashing around in there.
I won't even go into the lighting that goes on in a supercell with 5000 joules of CAPE. He must have looked like a roast chicken coming out the otherside lol .

[Big_Red 0]

I was on my way to Skydive Arizona when I got into a conversation with some Whuffo's while boarding the plane in Chicago. This little ol Lady in front of me overheard people asking me about my Rig. She turns to me and asks:

"Have you ever had to use it?"

I asked:

"My parachute"?

She replied:

"Yes"


HAHAHAHA

Derec Davies
Big_Red

[shortyj 0]

my husband, his brother and I were standing outside one night and I looked up and seen a jet I was like "wow that's like 30,000 ft." My husband says "I'd jump and I wouldn't before 1,000 ft." Then his brother goes "how do you know?" My husband tells him alti. I said "when the ground looks likes it's close

Playtime is essential.

[Quake120 0]

Not really a question, but I overheard some co-workers talking about skydiving, and one of them said "You don't even feel like you are falling for the 5 to 6 minutes you have in freefall." ... He must be jumping from like 70,000 feet!
Maybe if he had said "For the 5 to 6 minutes of the skydive.", then I'd assume he was also referring to the canopy ride, but he said freefall...

I think it is so funny that people ask if you ever had to use your parachute, or when you say "cutaway", they think you have a pair of scissors or a knife that you use to cut it away, haha...

[Katherine 0]

I made a few friends watch a vidio of my last jump, my friend said about 30 secs in "so what now, do you get back in the plane?" She thought that I was being filmed by someone in the plane, hmmm, yes, that would explain the arms and alti that kept apearing in view! Lovely girl, but what the hell was she thinking!!!

Leeds University Skydiving Club
www.skydiveleeds.co.uk

[Orange1 0]

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I think it is so funny that people ask if you ever had to use your parachute, or when you say "cutaway", they think you have a pair of scissors or a knife that you use to cut it away, haha...

Doesn't the term "cutaway" come from days when you did, indeed, have to use a knife??

Skydiving: wasting fossil fuels just for fun.

[Eule 0]

What's interesting to me is what types of whuffos I get the questions from. I recently won the Titanium Lottery, and when people ask me how I got hurt, I tell them I was jumping.

People with doctorate degrees in chemical engineering and mechanical engineering have asked me, "So, did your parachute not open?"

Then, a truck driver came to deliver some things at work, and his question was "Did you not tuck and roll right?" I was amazed - a question that was actually relevant.

The one difference between the engineer whuffos and random whuffos is that instead of saying "no", I can say "Think about that a little" and they usually realize it's a dumb question. I talked to the truck driver a little and he had been in the military, which is how he knew about jumping.

Eule

PLF does not stand for Please Land on Face.

[Skymonkey13 0]

I had one ask me a long time ago." how do you know if your chute doesn't open since it's on your back and you can't see it"?

Here's your sign.

[pastramionrye7 0]

"Is terminal velocity when you go so fast that you die?"

[skydivamegan 0]

I too have had people think I was being video taped and photographed from the plane. I have also been asked "how can you even like hold up a camera and take pictures and stuff and have them come out so good?" UM...........what? Hold up a camera? In freefall? Yes and I have my light meter just here in my pocket to get that perfect film exposure.


Say cheese.


And to respond to an earlier post. People cannot believe that I do this and my husband doesn't. My husband is a man that cannot ride an escalator at the mall without covering his eyes. He'd rather light himself on fire with an accelerant that jump.

_______________________________________________
CARPE DIEM
PMS#529

[Steeler 0]

Not really a whuffo question, but a good one anyway.
A freind of mine just last night was telling me of a skydiving video he saw. An instructor follows his student out the door, everything goes fine til they both attempt to deploy. The student has a hard pull and cannot get the main out, then tries the reserve but another hard pull. The already deployed instructor sees his student having trouble so he physically removes his rig, flys down to his student, grabs bim and rolls the student over on top of him and bounces. The instructor was a hero for taking the impact and the student walks away.

[freeflyimpaired 0]

Did he really believe that?

I crossed paths with a whuffo one time that was trying to convince me that he had been out to the small DZ that I jumped at, and had decided not to jump after watching someone bounce and then while they were leaving the jumper that would have been his instructor fell to his death. The DZ had never had a fatality in its history and for the life of me I could not figure out why he would make up such a story.

Wuffos!!

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."

[The111 0]

The other day at Zhills some girls were watching their friend come in to land on a tandem. "Which one is she, the front or back?"

www.WingsuitPhotos.com

[ChileRelleno 0]

My favorite reply to the all too often asked question of "What are those things on your jumpsuit (grippers) for?" is "They make it easier to carry the bodies away!"

ChileRelleno-Rodriguez Bro#414
Hellfish#511,MuffBro#3532,AnvilBro#9, D24868

[micro 0]

I love reading this thread!

Today some friends were over for a cookout. Some were interested in coming out for a tandem in a couple of weeks and wanted to learn about gear so Itook out my rig and put it on and showed them how it worked.

I pulled out the pilot chute and one girl said... "so that's it... that's gonna save your life... I can't believe you still jump rounds today!"



How ironic that she "knew" enough to know a little lingo but not enough to realize the patently obvious that such a little pilot chute would do little to slow a big man like me, let along my dog!

I miss Lee.
And JP.
And Chris. And...

[Hambone 0]

I had a guy I work with just walk up to me and ask me if I wear a diapper when I jump...I asked why and he said cuz I would piss myself.

Yeah...You need to grow up. -Skymama

[adventurechick 0]

After having a hard landing on the runway, I hurt my ankel and it was scratched up a bit and I was on crutches for it for a month. I pretty much sprained it. When people at work and school would ask me what happened, I told them it was a skydiving accident... then, people would ask me, "did your chute not open?".... I have a freaking sprained ankel! It was funny.

PMS #449 TPM #80 Muff Brother #3860
SCR #14705 Dirty Sanchez #233

[skydivedog912 0]

I had a friend ask me if I have ever got stuck on a cloud...not sure if he was serious or not but still kinda of funny

[mattyblast 0]

A gem from my mom (bless her heart): "Can they re-use those parachutes after they come to the ground?"

"DOOR!!!"

[ROK 0]

He'd rather light himself on fire with an accelerant that jump.

[jwilson 0]

i once had a girl in a bar trying to tell me she was a skydiver, and had made a few hundred jumps. When I asked her what size canopy she flies she replied,"I'm not sure, around a size 5 I think." She was cute though, so I gave her my number and invited her to the DZ.