skymama 35 #1 August 19, 2003 Interesting column in the newpaper today concerning dating. Is this really the way you guys feel about it now? It's been 20 years since I've had to go on dates. If this is how it is, I think I'll just stay home! Feminism has changed the balance of power between men and women. The men are confused and angry, and women are to blame. "A lot of men feel like we didn't change the rules, you did. If you aren't happy, it is your fault. We never quit being who we were, you quit being who you were." The result is that both sexes are out to protect themselves, to the point of delivering the first blow. "No one gets into a relationship without thinking about getting out," said Helzlsouer. "You want to kick the other person to the curb before they have a chance to do it to you." She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bbarnhouse 0 #2 August 19, 2003 QuoteIf this is how it is, I think I'll just stay home! Me too! Then again what do I know? I practice the no trespassing catch and release program Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mr2mk1g 10 #3 August 19, 2003 Quote In e-mails, letters, phone calls and online conversations, men said they found women to be high-handed, demanding, duplicitous, dominating, spoiled, superior, selfish and unworthy of anything more than a single night of easy sex. Why would they want to marry one? True. IN SOME CASES - but then Im absolutely sure women could say that about SOME men. Im perfect though... applications in a stamped self adressed envelope please > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pyke 0 #4 August 19, 2003 What sucks is when you actually try to connect with someone and they are on this "protect myself" first plan.... ...it just ends up in a game of chicken.... she thinks, "I'll wait until the first thing he does that I don't like - and boot him out" he thinks, "Man, this is great. Hope I don't blow it!" Next thing you know...he's blown it and she's gone! I agree with you mama...it's easier to just chill out at the dz and stay home on the weeknights! Kahurangi e Mahearangi, Kiwi, RB #926, AFF-I, FAA Snr. Rigger, RN/BSN/Paramedic Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #5 August 19, 2003 QuoteIt's been 20 years since I've had to go on dates. If this is how it is, I think I'll just stay home! Same here Mama, and let me tell you, you are smart in doing that. Online dating, it works for some people, but not for me, I did try once, and, what a nutcase she was. LET'S SKYDIVE!!! __________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanuckInUSA 0 #6 August 19, 2003 If you don't count the ex-whuffo girlfriend I cutaway from this last spring (and I believe she was happy to cutaway from me as well), I haven't really dated since I became a skydiver in the summer of 2002. But that's mainly because I know my current skydiving addiction is serious and I don't really want to subject another non-skydiver to it. I think the ex-girlfriend initially liked the idea of dating a skydiver until she really knew what it meant to date a skydiver (despite the fact that I warned her when we first met). So here I sit, thinking that the only women I can date are skydivers and you know the ratio of men and women in this sport. I'm sure I don't know the whole story, but I must think the skydiving-chicks have it good as far as selection is concerned. I'm all for dating and I do like the companionship of a good female. But with my current mind set, she's got to be a girl who either jumps or at the very least is independent enough to allow myself to jump. So in many respects, I'm like the people who think about getting out of the relationship before it even starts, which is actually kind of a sad state to be in. Try not to worry about the things you have no control over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #7 August 19, 2003 Hey if you have elctronic devices I'm jumping in the same program"According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #8 August 19, 2003 well if you lump any group together you can sterotype and classify them! get to know ppl as individuals and youll see they are just as fukt up as you are! of course its easier to forget about it but theres those certain ones you just have to chase! the ones the remind you how alive you are you gotta see if you can have a moment of that feeling. even if it all turns into a great big opile of golden shit , at least you tried. you wont get that feeling with every person of the opposite sex(or same ,for some of you), but the spark is what you gotta go for all the rest IS worthlessMy photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyskydiver 0 #9 August 19, 2003 QuoteWhat sucks is when you actually try to connect with someone and they are on this "protect myself" first plan.... ...it just ends up in a game of chicken.... he thinks, "I'll wait until the first thing she does that I don't like - and boot her out" she thinks, "Man, this is great. Hope I don't blow it!" Next thing you know...she's blown it and he's gone! Made a few changes. Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AndyMan 7 #10 August 19, 2003 No. That's a pretty depressing outlook, and I certainly don't subscribe to it. It seems to me that people who play these compeditive power games are going to need those skills, as their relationship is doomed from the start. Those who don't play the games, won't need the skills because a relationship built on trust lasts longer. _Am - blissfuly naive.__ You put the fun in "funnel" - craichead. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFKING 3 #11 August 19, 2003 Quote"A lot of men feel like we didn't change the rules, you did. If you aren't happy, it is your fault. We never quit being who we were, you quit being who you were." I think there's some truth to that....over the last 20 years or so, I've observed that women have become much more outgoing when it comes to casual sex.....now a lot of them have the same moral values as men do in that situation.....none. Personally, I think it's a good thing. We're all supposed to be equals........and independence in a woman is a huge turn-on to me. Don Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bbarnhouse 0 #12 August 19, 2003 Anytime a person goes into a relationship with a preconcieved notion of the outcome...it will never be any different. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #13 August 19, 2003 QuoteAnytime a person goes into a relationship with a preconcieved notion of the outcome...it will never be any different. That's my point in posting the article. If someone goes into a relationship not trusting the other person and thinking it's going to end, then why date in the first place? It's ridiculous!She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #14 August 19, 2003 Quote"No one gets into a relationship without thinking about getting out," said Helzlsouer. "You want to kick the other person to the curb before they have a chance to do it to you." That seems to be true in most cases nowadays. I've gotten very cynical about relationships in the last few years. I guard my heart very well and don't let people get too close. But then along came a guy that kinda got past those walls and got close. When i finally realized he liked me (at least i thought he did), i loosened up that hold on my heart. Had a wonderful time, then BAM - kicked to the curb i go. It makes me wonder why i bother anymore. I'm still not sure it's worth it to go through the pain of losing someone just to experience the brief happiness til it ends.... ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bbarnhouse 0 #15 August 19, 2003 QuoteI'm still not sure it's worth it to go through the pain of losing someone just to experience the brief happiness til it ends.... A wise person once said...."Tis better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all." Pain is nothing compared to what it feels like to quit... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanuckInUSA 0 #16 August 19, 2003 QuoteA wise person once said...."Tis better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all." Time heals all wounds? I know I have loved someone in the past and this was a good thing. Try not to worry about the things you have no control over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflygoddess 0 #17 August 19, 2003 I agree a relationship built on trust does last longer, but only if both people are not in this "protect my self" plan. I do have to say that in my last relationship I was super happy and in love, but he left me for no reason at all. He told me that didn't want a skydiver girlfriend, even thought he is the one who took me for my first tadems, and he BASE jumps and we were together for seven months of me learning to jump and jumping. His whole excuse did not make since at all, which leaves for no closesur wich leads to not wanting to deal with another broken heart. Maybe I am just stupid in thinking that guys want a realationship as much as I do and that they are happy with being with one girl for the rest of their lives. I think that communication with each other is very important, if you can express how you are feeling and why to someone who will listen to it and then fix what your concern is without getting all pissy that you don't trust them or you are doing something wrong, will make for a longer lasting relationship. However guys are never like that, well at least the ones I have meet. Now as far as the guy girl ratio in this sport, I sure haven't found a single guy that wants a girlfriend, but found lots who just want to well you know. But then again my dateing is even more complicated because I am a single mom and I know that most guys my age are not wanting any responsiblity. Kathryn Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #18 August 19, 2003 QuoteNo. That's a pretty depressing outlook, and I certainly don't subscribe to it. It seems to me that people who play these compeditive power games are going to need those skills, as their relationship is doomed from the start. Those who don't play the games, won't need the skills because a relationship built on trust lasts longer. _Am - blissfuly naive. Andy, news over here. You can be an open transparent and truthful book, they still look for that tweak that will not fit the shoe. It does not. If you ask for friendship, someone to go to a movie or go for dinner, and they actually give you a number (one request after a lenghty and what you think getting to know each other conversation), you call once, about another day or two you call again....to discover some BS as excuse. What is that? Skymama, It is hard to find someone that you want to share your life with nowadays, reasons for me to make me think it is better to just skip all the relationship thing, and perhaps become a monk is a better option, make it a skydiving monk. We definitely got the shitty end of the deal, in sooooo many cases this is what tends to happen to feminist movement in family courts: HE : a hard working loving procuring dad and husband, she a cheating lying could careless attitude woman who since she is a pampered wife has plenty of time to screw around. Now comes the day she plans to just change scenario, and goes to court, lies her ass off in court about some "fear of imminent danger" never mind his record is clear, and no history of arrests, or domestic violence not even from close friends, she, arrested in many occasions, drug, depression the works....the judge looks over and say granted. You have to move out and no contact. Otherwise you will go to jail....now, no kids (in order of importance) no roof, no money, and just have to work in order to sustain this lie...hmm, that is fair isn' it... She goes into a violent relationship with someone who is out on parole, and endanger you children....you can not even see your children or protect them... I have gone through my ordeal, no precisely the same one, still was able to keep a life and my daughter, but if I had good kharma, I would have been screwed for a lifetime. This is what I have gotten to see how the great state of MA treat men with the "blind" justice system... Just my 2 cts."According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chopchop 0 #19 August 19, 2003 Quotethinking it's going to end, then why date in the first place? It's ridiculous! cuz it's fun! A relationship doesn't have to be forever or even exclusive for it to be good. I don't consider every date an audition for becoming someone's life partner.. I look at it as an opportunity to spend time with someone I like. Maybe it's sexual, maybe it's not but the point is it's fun.. Hopefully for both. chopchop gotta go... Plaything needs a spanking.. Lotsa Pictures Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #20 August 19, 2003 Quote...."Tis better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all." Heehee...I was just looking up that exact quote to see who wrote it, when you posted it! Great minds think alike, huh? It was by Tennyson.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bbarnhouse 0 #21 August 19, 2003 QuoteWe definitely got the shitty end of the deal That door....it swings both ways. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #22 August 19, 2003 QuoteA wise person once said...."Tis better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all." Pain is nothing compared to what it feels like to quit... I'm familiar with the quote, but i don't know that i really agree with it. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #23 August 19, 2003 I refuse to close my heart anylonger.. What I think interesting of meeting someone over the net is the fact that you can get to know the persons way of thinking the way the express themselves by writing. Is like the utopia for meeting someone's soul without thebody in the middle nor the awkward annoyances of teh looks, what he/she has. But then comes that time to jump the hurdle for the first meet, and reality sinks in, it is a no win situation. I don't see any commitment there, from men or women, where would it lead us to? Just look over the world today and fight the blindness that holds us prisoners of our own demons. We need to try to understand and TRUST each other, we are losing this every day. (who would trust an arab with turban sitting next to you on a flight?).... Hard but this is how I c things... Blue skies....and good luck"According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflyz 0 #24 August 19, 2003 I don't have to worry abouy stuff like that!!! I've been with same girl for 8yrs...She has no problem with me skydivng or spending money buying gear!! So no worries here! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bwilling 0 #25 August 19, 2003 QuoteHE : a hard working loving procuring dad and husband, she a cheating lying could careless attitude woman who since she is a pampered wife has plenty of time to screw around. Dude! Did you know my ex-wife??? "If all you ever do is all you ever did, then all you'll ever get is all you ever got." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
