true love: question for men

[JohnMitchell 14]

My 21st anniversary is coming up next week, so I think it can be done, though I never imagined I could do it until I decided it was what I really wanted. It's been great, but then, I married way out of my league. Valinda might have a different opinion on it all.

[KrisFlyZ 0]

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I don't think Antifnsocial is trying to sell herself here now, she's just asking a question and since this is a public forum I decided to go off on a drunken tangent to keep her question at the top of the page.

Now why didn't I think about that.

Kris.

[LilZilla 2]

So what would you do if you found someone who bacame your fairy tale? Someone who really loved to be with you and took good care of you. Someone who gave you that weak at the knees feeling. Would you leave him to "spice" up your life or would you stay with him. Sorry to say, you won't be youg forever, and nobody likes to be alone.

[masterrig 1]

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Some people can be faithful. Some people can’t.

ya.. but i bet you there is more guys than girls looking for somone who will be faithfull....

______________________-
Yeah! So they can have something back at the crib in case they can't score away from the house.


Chuck

[masterrig 1]

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I am really rather jaded and cynical myself.
Women let men get away with far too much.

At least karma is a bigger bitch than I am.

The pendulum swings both ways. It's not about men or women; it's about people. As a general rule, people are self centered assholes.

_____________________________-

I gotta agree with you! I get so sick an fucking tired of egoes!!! Big egoes, little egoes, wounded egoes, gotta have strokes egoes... what the fuck! Talk about insecurity. I get so tired of .."it's all about me!" I could puke!


Chuck

[Icon134 0]

OK, not everyone is a selfish self-centered asshole.

Not Everyone is a jerk...

I know I want to date/marry someone faithful and will be faithful to that woman.

Scott

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[BoostedXT 0]

Yes....we are out there...usually we are the ones you all dumped because the flowers, dinners, and romance were considered "too nice."

Joe

For long as you live and high you fly and smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry and all that you touch and all that you see is all your life will ever be.
Pedro Offers you his Protection.

[kbordson 8]

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Yes....we are out there...usually we are the ones you all dumped because the flowers, dinners, and romance were considered "too nice."

Joe

Oh... now don't go turning this into a "nice guys finish last" excuse .... I don't believe that story. I'm thinking that you just haven't found the right "nice" girl.
I think "true love" does exist (both for girls and guys). I'm not a gushy romantic addlebrained twit (although the Princess Bride is the BEST movie), but some things can not be explained by logic. Sometimes it's all about the feeling and until you feel it, you can't really know what it is.... and unfortunately most people might go their whole life and never felt it.



Karen

[masterrig 1]

Well, I'll have to change-up part of what I said and you're right. Of course, not everyone is a self-centered, egotistical ass-hole but, there's enough of them around to tip the scales pretty good, though. I hope, you find her... she may be just around the corner!


Chuck

[bob.dino 0]

Nice guys don't finish last. I can't be bothered typing it out again.

[BoostedXT 0]

Not that at all....not spineless....ot nervious about asking a girl out.

nice guys dont finish last....women always ask for the nice guy when half the time all they have to do is look in their past. Same goes for guys, and usually when guy does he looks right back at the girl who wouldnt put out on the first date.

joe

For long as you live and high you fly and smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry and all that you touch and all that you see is all your life will ever be.
Pedro Offers you his Protection.

[Squeak 17]

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but the truth is it's a roll of the dice. Some people can be faithful. Some people can’t. Some people are capable of being faithful but choose not to be

I think it's more of a case of some people CHOOSE to be faithful some people don't.
If you honour your word, and you give your word to be faithful, it's not that hard to do.
If you're a lier in general, your word ain't worth shit, and faithfullness is probably not a priority.

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[Squeak 17]

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It just takes finding the right person..

No it doesn't, it takes honesty and commitment. even it you are only dating a eprson for a short time, if you find someone else to screw, instread of doing it behind your currents back, break it off then go play.
Fidelity is not a thing that requires a long term relationship, just honour

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[Angelfish 0]

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If I found someone who could love and want just me, I would never even consider
having sex with or being with another man for the rest of my life. But is there really such a man out there? Are there men that actually agree?
Or does a majority disagree?

1. Are you just referring to the physical "faithfulness", because in my experience, I must admit that even though I'm faithful to a boyfriend, I do tend to "mentally" stray in the faithfulness department. So, I think men do the same. No big deal. We are only human.

2. Why should we limit our love to only 1 individual?? There is so much hate as it is, that I would rather be loved by someone who is loving to all and lovable by all as well. Now, if you are referring to the sexual part, then it would be nice to have someone who is not going bed hop and put you in danger of diseases, etc. Safe sex of course.

3. The person you described.. someone who will only love and want ONLY you... is like a profile for a psychopath. Who wants that!!!? Aren't stalkers like that?

4. There are millions of people on Earth. To think that there is only "The One" out there is a stretch. If we decide to choose that we will get along with someone and somehow work around each other's differences, we can pretty much develop a relationship with anyone we are somehow remotely attracted to physically.

... By the way Douva, I saw you at the DZ. I think you're cool. I do hope to be able to see you jump with your board. I'm training with Ilya (AFF2).

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Don't fear the reaper. ... BOC

[billvon 2,400]

>If I found someone who could love and want just me, I would never
> even consider having sex with or being with another man for the
>rest of my life.

I'm suprised that most people equate love, commitement, honesty etc with sexual exclusivity. They're really not the same thing. I think people think they are the same thing because there is such a focus on sex in our society. A marriage where the couple is lying to each other, trying to destroy each other etc is just a little rocky, but a committed marriage where one of the people is having a sexual relationship with someone else is a farce. "He's cheating! She's unfaithful!"

I think we'd be better off as a society if we placed more emphasis on honesty and communication and less on following rules that everyone is 'supposed' to follow.

[Douva 0]

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>If I found someone who could love and want just me, I would never
> even consider having sex with or being with another man for the
>rest of my life.

I'm suprised that most people equate love, commitement, honesty etc with sexual exclusivity. They're really not the same thing. I think people think they are the same thing because there is such a focus on sex in our society. A marriage where the couple is lying to each other, trying to destroy each other etc is just a little rocky, but a committed marriage where one of the people is having a sexual relationship with someone else is a farce. "He's cheating! She's unfaithful!"

I think we'd be better off as a society if we placed more emphasis on honesty and communication and less on following rules that everyone is 'supposed' to follow.

Bill, that is one of the most astute observations I have ever seen on dropzone.com. Well put.

I don't have an M.D. or a law degree. I have bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names.

[Amazon 7]

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Besides, I don't think it's possible for most men to be faithful forever. There are exceptions I'm sure but I know more that aren't than are

I got ya beat by a WHOLE lot of years.. and its certainly been my experience as well. Most of my girlfrinds that I went to school with have found the same thing.. Most of them grew up in the 50's and 60's with a WHOLE lot of that socialization...and for most of them...the knight in shining armor.... got tarnished REALLLLL fast.

[tbrown 26]

I've been married for 24 years to the same woman, it's the only marriage for each of us. Even the sex is still great, if not as often as when we were young and virile.

I don't know if it's "the norm", but with the right person it's great. Can't say I'm not ever tempted either, but I can't imagine constructing a relationship with anyone else, so I'm faithful too. It's NOT like being on a chain either, it's very rewarding to have something as good as this.

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

[Dagny 0]

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I'm suprised that most people equate love, commitement, honesty etc with sexual exclusivity. They're really not the same thing. I think people think they are the same thing because there is such a focus on sex in our society.

I value honesty and truthfulness above all else. And, I'm holding out for a commitment and sexual exclusivity. I won't settle for anything less than I'm willing to give.

As for relationships being sexually exclusive, I know it's not everyone's priority and that's cool. But, it is my priority. I don't want variety with random (or even not-so-random) men. I want variety with the man I've chosen to live with and to love.

You're right, though, about the emphasis being placed in the wrong areas. Why is it easier to forgive a lie or physical or emotional assault than a cheating partner? Even better...why do people think it's okay to do something so hurtful to the one that they love? At what point when you make that critical decision, when you decide to have sex with someone else or use a fist in an argument or speak cruelly, does it sound like the right choice?

Take me, I am the drug; take me, I am hallucinogenic.
-Salvador Dali

[f1freak 0]

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I could love and be faithful with one women for the rest of my life

I'm gonna flip the question to the women....

My brain tell's me HELL NO!!!!!!!!!! true love has always been one sided....
I still dont know why i keep trying to find "that person...."
Isnt trying the same thing over and over again expecting different results the definition of insanity....

HAVE FUN...
...JUST DONT DIE

[HydroGuy 0]

I think lots of it has to do with age and maturity. When I was younger, I never even contemplated getting married, having kids, etc. It was just a non-factor. I wanted to drink, do every drug, gamble, fight and go to strip clubs. I wanted to jump in the sack with every girl I found attractive. So why worry about committed relationships?

Now it doesn't seem like such a bad idea...but it's hard to de-program those 12 years of mayhem.

Get in - Get off - Get away....repeat as neccessary

[eeneR 1]

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I think we'd be better off as a society if we placed more emphasis on honesty and communication and less on following rules that everyone is 'supposed' to follow.

That is it 100%...All of the relationships i have had that really went to shit, not the ones that just didnt work, but the ugly ones were because one of us or both of us were not communicating. I have tried very hard to be upfront with communicating things and am not a fan of lying. I find it very hard to get the same out of most of the guys I dated.

If people would learn that communication about things is key...and that is the good and the bad stuff it would make these relationships soo much easier to deal with.

I would say that Im living in a pipe dream thinking that I will find someone that I can have that kind of relationship, someone I can talk to and will talk to me and be honest. I have seen it happen, maybe not yet for me, but it is possible..just maybe one day that person will come around.

Till then I continue life as it is as there is so much to live.

She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway."
eeneR
TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto

[slug 1]

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My 21st anniversary is coming up next week, so I think it can be done, though I never imagined I could do it until I decided it was what I really wanted. It's been great, but then, I married way out of my league. Valinda might have a different opinion on it all.

John

We both lucked out in the women department Karen & I just did the big 30. Every year keeps getting better
Congrats to both you and Valinda on the big 21.

R.I.P.

[Meux 0]

Adding to the finding the right person thing, I believe it means "Being the Right Person".

All my focus is on me, who I am, what I am, am I worthy of that kind of relationship?

That shouldn't sound egotistical, it's meant to say that I can't control someone elses happiness, only mine. My goal is to be happy with all my good stuff and accept the faults and failures. If I love myself, it will make it easy to love that other person, faults and all when the time comes.

If I go bedhopping at every chance, that is the answer to my question.

If I wait and prepare myself by self examination and knowing who I truly am, in time that "Right" person will appear.

Great discussion, loved the comments by all.

It sounds like one of the girls is happy with experimenting with different men. No problem, I hope every one stays healthy.

Another girl sounds like she is waiting for the "Right" guy to come along. Fantastic, I hope she doesn't wait too long.

Me. I'm stuck in the middle. I love a monogamous relationship, scared to death to make that life long commitment. This is my little boulder that I have to carry around. Someday I would love to drop it.

I really admire the folks who have been in those long term commited loving relationships. It sounds like they are in a good place.

Thunderstorms, low clouds, no jumping today, maybe tomorrow.

B License soon.

Blue Skies

Mo

[BounceBoy 0]

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If I found someone who could love and want just me, I would never even consider
having sex with or being with another man for the rest of my life. But is there really such a man out there? Are there men that actually agree?
Or does a majority disagree?

1. Are you just referring to the physical "faithfulness", because in my experience, I must admit that even though I'm faithful to a boyfriend, I do tend to "mentally" stray in the faithfulness department. So, I think men do the same. No big deal. We are only human.

2. Why should we limit our love to only 1 individual?? There is so much hate as it is, that I would rather be loved by someone who is loving to all and lovable by all as well. Now, if you are referring to the sexual part, then it would be nice to have someone who is not going bed hop and put you in danger of diseases, etc. Safe sex of course.

3. The person you described.. someone who will only love and want ONLY you... is like a profile for a psychopath. Who wants that!!!? Aren't stalkers like that?

4. There are millions of people on Earth. To think that there is only "The One" out there is a stretch. If we decide to choose that we will get along with someone and somehow work around each other's differences, we can pretty much develop a relationship with anyone we are somehow remotely attracted to physically.

... By the way Douva, I saw you at the DZ. I think you're cool. I do hope to be able to see you jump with your board. I'm training with Ilya (AFF2).

Don't listen to Angelfish. She has never known true love. She is a very intelligent and is able articulate thought, as seen in her writting. But there is a difference between a stalker and someone who care about another. Stalker's have a fixation on an individual and tries to controll that person through fear and terror. While someone who care for another give of themself, tries to help when needed, and is willing to put your needed ahead of their own (something a stalker would never do). So, I say take the chance, take the hurt if it comes, and never give up on even the smallest hope of true love. It is out there, just becuase Angelfish has given up, dosen't mean you should.