Parenting and skydiving

[skymama1 0]

Wasn't sure to post in women's forum or here in safety; move if you wish, but I'm speaking as a woman/mother, but realize every child generally has (at least) 2 parents and fathers also can respond as it's relevant to all.. I am interested to know how you feel about taking on an added risk that you would not otherwise be taking in your day to day life, with regard to your children? I guess some of it is balancing risk versus benefit in general, it just adds a much heavier weight to the risk however minimal when there are children involved in my mind, which is why I spent a few months thinking/reading before scheduling my first couple courses/jumps.. I still have some mixed feelings but feel fairly confident in that 1) I know that I am first and foremost responsible for my safety, shit happens BUT most mistakes would be on me, and that I need to err on the side of caution. (That is not any sort of general statement that most skydivers don't- I wouldn't know yet lol- nor that fatalities are always caused by recklessness- simply that anyone can make a mistake, but that I accept responsibility for taking advantage of all safety days and learning to check my gear, staying current, things like that to minimize risks. The other factor I have thought of is statistics- that things like riding in or driving a car or motorcycle are similar in risk, that it is pretty darn unlikely that I am going to die or be severely injured, that realistically I did take the responsibility of writing a will and estate plan and power of attorney and such for accident or death in any case (at the time, I was prepping for childbirth not skydiving- lol- just thought that having a child enter the world was reason enough to have those documents squared away, especially being unmarried) BUT sometimes my mind goes back to the fact that no matter how miniscule that risk might be, or how comparable to risks I might not even think twice about taking, it is STILL an added risk, however small, that I may be unable to work and support a family due to injury, or die (which I think would scare any mother, or father, but I guess being single and knowing my son's father is not fit to parent him right now is an even bigger factor-- although on the other hand, if someone were married, they may not just have worries about their child(ren) but also about leaving their wife or husband behind.. just curious if others considered and weighed these factors, some perspective etc. Like I said it's not black and white in my head but I have been thinking on it awhile and I guess my approach is that I need to be realistic and take certain steps for the what-ifs, but also feel safe enough that I am making a choice I can live with and benefit from, and so far the information and intuition I have gleaned makes me feel mainly confident in the choice to involve myself in the sport, but again, I wonder how other parents consider these issues, and I do understand that "risk" is very relative and can be perceived very differently by different people, or the same people at different times or circumstances.. Anyways, blue skies..

(and disclaimer, yes I do now realize my username is similar to a mod's (skymama), and I don't want any more drama lol but fyi to those who are wondering, I do indeed realize it and have requested a change if the mods can or desire to grant it, either way I am just here to learn and meet people and become the safest skydiver I can and enjoy every minute of it- so yeah hopefully this can be an on topic relevant thread if others have thought about these issues which I imagine anyone who is a parent has- then maybe most sane parents don;t skydive LOL i don't know much about what "normal" "sane" human beings do... just kidding, kinda, but i guess i sorta do things my own way, but i have my reasons... )

ETA: I'd also be interested to hear if there are families/parents who bring their kiddos along to family-friendly DZs and how that works out (I suppose it depends on the individual DZ and ages).. the one I plan to jump at this spring is owned by a family with three young kiddos near my son's age range, so I think it will be a good fit, they have a playground and stuff, and I hope to have my kiddo and extended family/friends come out at times so he can play and hang out, other days I'll have my son with his grandma at my apt or her house and I'll go out to the DZ by myself or with my brother (he's expressed an interest in diving, but either way if he backs out I'm still making him come and watch :) since I want to get my license (I'm pretty motivated to get this license this season, so I figure as a parent, I know it's hard for me sometimes to be fully in learning/focusing mode if I feel I am in parenting-mode, so if I want to go out and really get serious about getting the levels done and learning other things around the DZ, it will probably be easier to have family watch the kiddo, but I do hope to incorporate him and family/friends into the sport and create a fun atmosphere, especially since I know there are other families there and there are times when you aren't jumping/packing/in class when you'd be waiting around, eating, etc. when I could spend time with family (and hopefully convince the rest of them to come up and jump sooner or later haha- anyone else converted their family?)

Tandem 4/4. FJC and AFF-2 completed 4/9. Rescheduled AFF-3 and 4 due to winds for this next weekend.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world..."

[jimmytavino 16]

Parenting is a Responsibility
Skydiving is a hobby....


two scenarios..
1. a person starts jumping as a single individual,,, learns all the complex aspects about the sport, the techniques, the equipment, the risks, the rewards....
years later, meets a person who becomes a spouse and then years later has children....
That person who is NOW a parent will make his or her own decisions about continuing and if so about the level of active involvement in the sport.
In this case the "learning curve" has been dealt with, becoming comfortable in the air is second nature and the decision to jump or not to jump can be made in consultation with the spouse..

2. a person who is ALREADY a parent decides to make a tandem jump.... Enjoys it and moves on to AFF... In a sport which is very VERY time consuming and which is very VERY expensive to immerse oneself into,,, it sometimes demands more of us than we should be throwing its way...
If $$$ is NO object and if the children are well cared for, and if there is $$$ in the bank for alllll the things the child will need.... then any expendable income MAY be used to persue the hobby..
It IS an individual and personal choice...
In my case i had 1,200 jumps when i met my wife, and 1,500 jumps when the kids arrived....( that was '83 ) in the next 12 years,,,, i only logged 150 jumps TOTAL!!!!... so in my case at least,, jumping DID take a back seat to the greater priority of being around the kids....

Not sure of YOUR childs age, but based on the few times that my kids were at the DZ ( they were NEVER "regulars" ) they get bored easily,, they distract the parent who is a jumper, they merit your thoughts, every moment, EVEN when in the plane climbing to altitude...
and are basically intruding into "a grownups playground"..

Once in a while might be ok, but if every time You are at the Dz, your child is at the DZ,,,, i dunno.... that sounds like it could be a hassle..
and even a distraction bordering on a safety concern....Jamming an ankle, or having an "out landing" at the end of the day,,, or even just wanting to stick around for some socializing around the bonfire, is 3 times more complicated if a youngster is factored in..
Sure lots of Dzs have a " family" aspect to them, but some Don't , and unless you've made previous and solid contingency plans, for your child...if anything should happen, it could be tough...especially if it's a child under the age of 10 and if there is no spouse to step up,,, and be ON site,, when needed.

Make smart decisions and base them on what's best for the Child... not for you....
imho
jmy

[NovaTTT 1]

Wow.

I couldn't read your post at all. It seems an endless train of letters and words that defy one's ability to focus upon. But I think you're asking about exposure, safety and "appropriateness"?

Being a parent and skydiver, I can tell you that if you're going to jump, make sure you have adequate insurance. Medical, death, disability. Modern gear and practices have made skydiving relatively safe but there is danger and risk. People are hurt and killed skydiving. I recommend keeping your ability to provide for your kids viable if you are hurt or killed.

Some dropzones are kid friendly, some are not. If you want your kids to enjoy being at the DZ, find a family friendly DZ. My two older kids practically grew up at the DZ. It was good, but you have to keep in mind that the DZ is an adult playground. There is smoking, cursing, arguing, "playfulness" - and drinking after hours. Sometimes there are "safety meetings".

It's up to you, not the DZ, to choose what you're OK with having your kids exposed to.

Finally - the issues of kids, DZs, parenting, etc. have been discussed before. Use the Search feature (up above - there, below the blue menu bar) and you should be able to find information in past discussions.

Good luck, have fun, be safe!

"Even in a world where perfection is unattainable, there's still a difference between excellence and mediocrity." Gary73

[rehmwa 2]

strange - I had a hard time focusing in on the text as well.

in any case, there are a lot of posts on parenting and kids at the DZ.

it's your life and your kids - you need to decide for yourself what you think about it and how competent/safe you feel you can achieve (as well as how much you trust the other idiots not to kill you as well).

Family friendly DZ vs "grown up playground" - find the 1st type, frankly even if you don't have kids - the self stylized "grown up" DZs tend to be full of self absorbed types and have an even more childish atmosphere than a typical kindergarten.

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[fasted3 0]

Who will get your kids if you die? What will their life be like if you get severely broken? If you are not comfortable with the answers to those questions, then you should not skydive.
It can be an expensive and time consuming sport, maybe more than you realize, so take that into consideration as well.

But what do I know?

[JohnMitchell 14]

It can also be a very enriching atmosphere for children. Our 4 kids spent many an hour at our very family friendly DZ while growing up. They had many other kids their age to play with and lots of cool stuff to watch. As they got older, one even had a great weekend job as a packer. They learned to talk to adults in an intelligent manner, and even got to meet a huge cross section of society. I wish I could have grown up around all the planes and parachutes and fun. Everyday would have been like an airshow.

[rehmwa 2]

Quote

It can also be a very enriching atmosphere for children. Our 4 kids spent many an hour at our very family friendly DZ while growing up. They had many other kids their age to play with and lots of cool stuff to watch. As they got older, one even had a great weekend job as a packer. They learned to talk to adults in an intelligent manner, and even got to meet a huge cross section of society. I wish I could have grown up around all the planes and parachutes and fun. Everyday would have been like an airshow.

this is our experience with our daughter also - we are very lucky with our DZ

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[airtwardo 6]

You have to prioritise in life.

Skydiving is an 'elective' unless you decide to major in it, which many of us on this website have done.

I was jumping 25 years before the kids came along, so yes it's an important part of my life and stopping would leave a hole in me that would make me a much different person than the one who choose to HAVE kids...not fair to me or them.

I'd been around the sport enough to logically weigh the risks & benefits and as has been said above, I was well past the 'learning curve'. I tend to pick & choose what I do and who I do it with in regard to my Skydiving.

I did however quit B.A.S.E. jumping altogether...those numbers just didn't add up in MY book.

You are doing the right thing in seeking other opinions and asking about the paths they've taken, but in the end it's YOUR priorities and only you know what's right in your case.

I ask myself before going to the drop-zone, is going skydiving today worth losing everything I have and everything I ever hope to have...for almost 35 years now the answer has always been yes.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[kmills0705 0]

I am a skydiver (before becoming a mother) and I really wish I could read your post but looking at the length made my head hurt.

Give me a condensed version or specific question.

Kim Mills
USPA D21696
Tandem I, AFF I and Static Line I

[JohnMitchell 14]

Quote

I am a skydiver (before becoming a mother) and I really wish I could read your post but looking at the length made my head hurt.

Give me a condensed version or specific question.

I have the same problem at work (air traffic controller) of teaching trainees to convey as much information as possible, as clearly as possible, in the fewest number of words.

I wonder if our sport, which requires fast thinking and decision making, tends to make us more succinct in our communication.

[skymama1 0]

Condensed version of my question posed:
-How has parenting affected your decisions regarding skydiving or vice versa?
-What plans have you made to provide for family/self should you be injured/killed?
-How do family life and time at the DZ mix (or not mix)?

****NOT asking you to judge my situation- I am (or was at least) asking you to share yours so I can get different ideas and perspectives****

Condensed version of replies:
-UTFSE
-Stop hurting our brains by writing more than two sentences
-Some nice mixed perspectives about kids/family at the DZ
-You shouldn't jump if you cannot accept the risk, afford it financially, accept the consequences (yes, thank you, I am aware and that is why I take this very seriously and am considering all angles. That wasn't my question, and I believe I already stated as much.)

------------------------------STOP reading here if your head hurts, if you keep reading don't blame me for your headaches. And if you don't like the way I post, don't read or reply, is it that hard really? I am sure there is some sarcasm involved here but really words on a screen don't convey tone or body language and I personally find it more palatable for you to ignore a post if it's hard to read, unless you have a genuine interest in discussing the topic at hand and are asking sincerely which somehow is not the vibe I am getting.

If people don't want to reply to longer posts or discuss certain issues, I can surely find others to discuss them with on a parenting forum, with family and friends, etc. But this is simply one more outlet to communicate and seek advice and I like to utilize all available avenues to get a well rounded perspective and hear others' experiences.

I have not jumped yet, and would not and WILL not jump if I chose I was not 100% comfortable accepting the risks, that is the very reason I am asking the question and it is an evolving question and one I have been considering for some time and WANT others experiences and perspectives.

I'm sorry but I just don't think in black and white when it comes to issues of family, ethics, life altering decisions, etc.

There are many points that have been addressed and I won't respond point by point, for concern over "hurting someone's head" and because it would be an exercise in utter futility. I will tell you quite clearly, since one or two posters seem to think I am a completely negligent parent and sorry excuse for a human being, that I put my son before anything else, I don't need to list my "credentials" but I have been told by most everyone who knows me that I am a more dedicated parent than many they know and I would do anything for my child. That is why I am questioning the different aspects of this in relation to my role as a parent. So- yes I am still thinking this through, and, no, I do not plan on spending money I don't have but I assume everyone, even *gasp* mothers have the reasonable ability to ethically spend some money on a hobby they themselves enjoy. I don't see why it would be any different for me to go out to a nice dinner and a movie with friends once a month, or take a luxury resort vacation or international travel annually, than to jump once or twice a month if I choose to go down that path and do receive my license, money wise. So please don't lose sleep thinking that I am some welfare queen using your tax dollars *gasp* to skydive, or neglecting my son. Trust me, he is quite a contented child and has all his needs met and more. And for those who ask if arrangements are made for his future should anything happen to me, whether or not I ever jump out of a plane, in case of a car accident, death during childbirth (I finalized this before he was born) etc., he has loving grandparents (actually on both sides, as well as aunts, uncles, cousins, great-grandparents, etc.) but one particular set who see him daily since the day he was born and would raise him if anything happened to me, and I believe he would be loved and happy with them and am comfortable with that, and yes, his father and all other family would still be involved and a positive person in his life, he is just not willing or able to take on raising a child full time right now and we understand that. But I am not talking about taking up a drug habit or playing Russian roulette. I am talking about an activity which bears some risk, and that risk is perceived differently depending on what it is compared to and what factors are at stake. But I am indeed questioning whether ANY increase in risk, however miniscule, is justifiable, and know that answer may differ from one person to the next- again hence why I am seeking to hear others personal experiences and thoughts in general- NOT their evaluation of what I should do or thinly veiled judgments from people who do not know me or my full situation. But of course as a mother you want to be there for your child and it is hard to think about being hurt or killed and leaving them behind, I imagine that is emotional for any parent in any situation. Sitting down with an attorney and filling out those estate planning forms are a real slap in the face- mortality is not something most people like to deal with. Maybe skydiving is one of those things that really forces you to confront it, hence why it is both so appealing and so frightening to some. I would be interested in research on the psychology of skydiving... but I digress...

I personally happen to like in depth discussion, if you don't, then please don't make comments about how I hurt your head. To me, if someone wants to skip a post they can; if they want to read one or two sentences and respond to the gist or theme they can, and if someone wants to have more info, it's there. If no one responds to my posts I will get the picture that the way I am posting is not of interest or accessible to anyone here- but if I have less people read or reply, but those who do are genuinely helpful or willing to think and write in depth on an important topic, then I have gained some new perspective and wisdom, right? So it is much less offensive to simply ignore any longer posts coming from me, than to post about how I have you a headache. Geez.

Sometimes it helps me to "think aloud" when writing, in processing things, and maybe this is just not the proper website or forum for that from what I am gathering.

It is an interesting point that in a quick-thinking sport or job, one may communicate or think differently. I also think there are personality and gender differences that may apply.

Clearly, pulling to open your parachute, or executing emergency procedures, etc. do need to be pretty damn fast and black and white-- but to me, most other things in life are not and I sorta thought that was the whole point of internet discussion forums. It seems that questions of this nature and depth may be better discussed on the parenting forum I frequent, and I can't help but think again that I may be better off reading and learning here as I've done in the past, since I don't think my posting style or the things that are currently of relevance to me really fit with the forum- and maybe again that makes sense, since I have not jumped yet, but honestly I think the process of starting- the decision to skydive, the decisions about training methods and safety, the concerns and fears, the things leading up to it, the changes made, are extremely interesting and relevant- but perhaps again this is not the place.

In an online forum I personally err on the side of more info than less- those who don't want to read it don't have to.

Maybe this would be best put in the women's area. it seems that I misjudged when deciding between the two forums as far as placement. If it is really that far out of line with typical posting criteria I am sure a moderator could recognize that and delete it or move it or merge it.

And as for search function, some topics are covered, yes, but sometimes they are covered say 7 years ago, or partially covered-- is it not frowned upon here to "resurrect" a thread like that, or is that the preferred etiquette? Is it not possible that people may have had new experiences (like having kids in the past year, when they may not have and thus not replied to past threads?) Is it not rather logical that new members have joined and may have thoughts on the topic? And is it not possible that with such an open ended topic involving some pretty important life issues, there could be ongoing discussion (i.e. the question such as "what is the difference between a round and a square canopy?" yes you can delve into specific pros/cons and history, but it is pretty black and white. Personally I can see telling someone to UTFSE if that has been covered a bunch already, or if they could just read the articles and find out, but I guess I see things differently with issues that don't have a single answer and rather rely on others ever-changing life experiences, opinions, and perspectives- those types of questions are not often redundant when there are new people to add to them or new life experience gleaned in the time between threads. That said, I am happy to learn as I have stated, each forum seems to have its own etiquette- maybe a more comprehensive FAQ would be in order, or maybe I am just overlooking it, if so I apologize.. If the preferred procedure is to resurrect an older thread of similar topic, then I am happy to do so.

If it is preferred here, I am happy to make any future postings simple one line questions, but I just don't think like that. Maybe I need to hire a translator, or post two versions of every post- long thought out post, and condensed to the point post. Lol.

Blue skies, thanks for the helpful replies, and hopefully my translation was useful, for those who actually asked in sincerity and have some input on the issue. Feel free to fill me in on the etiquette regarding the search and resurrecting old threads as well please...

Tandem 4/4. FJC and AFF-2 completed 4/9. Rescheduled AFF-3 and 4 due to winds for this next weekend.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world..."

[JohnMitchell 14]

Quote

-Stop hurting our brains by writing more than two sentences

------------------------------STOP reading here if your head hurts,

That's funny.

Quote

I have not jumped yet, and would not and WILL not jump if I chose I was not 100% comfortable accepting the risks,

You might want to make that first jump before you worry about how it will affect the rest of your life. Most people make just one and never come back. Maybe you're worrying too much in advance.

Quote

I will tell you quite clearly, since one or two posters seem to think I am a completely negligent parent and sorry excuse for a human being, that I put my son before anything else,

And they are probably not parents, so they don't know.

Quote

than to jump once or twice a month if I choose to go down that path and do receive my license, money wise.

Until you get at least 100 jumps or so, jumping that infrequently is inadvisable. A certain skill level needs to be attained before you become an occasional jumper.

Quote

But I am indeed questioning whether ANY increase in risk, however miniscule, is justifiable, and know that answer may differ from one person to the next- again hence why I am seeking to hear others personal experiences and thoughts in general-

In balancing any risk/reward equation, you need to know what your levels of risk and reward are, not someone else's.

Quote

I personally happen to like in depth discussion, if you don't, then please don't make comments about how I hurt your head. It is an interesting point that in a quick-thinking sport or job, one may communicate or think differently. I also think there are personality and gender differences that may apply.

...

I'd like to reply more, but my lunch break is over. Gotta get back to the radar scope. C Ya.

[skybytch 259]

I was a single parent of a 6 yr old when I did my first jump. He spent many a weekend at the dropzone as he grew up. Luckily for us, he never watched anyone die but he did know a few people who went in.

Only you can decide if skydiving is worth the risk of your child growing up without his mother, or of your child having to take care of his paralyzed or otherwise disabled mother. Only you can decide if skydiving and bringing your kid to the dz is worth the risk of him possibly seeing you or someone else die.

These are real risks. If the reward you get from skydiving is worth taking those risks for yourself (and for your child), you should jump. If not, you might want to wait until he's older.

[wmw999 2,141]

Yeah, short posts definitely get more response than long posts

Quote

-How has parenting affected your decisions regarding skydiving or vice versa?

That is such a case-by-case thing that you really need to start by defining what your family needs, then seeing if there's room for skydiving around that right now. Really.

Quote

-What plans have you made to provide for family/self should you be injured/killed?

I had not planned on quitting when my son was born, but I did (my then-husband quit and it was hard for me to be the skydiving wife of a non-skydiving husband). I jumped some when he was small, and then quit for 13 years. I had 1100 jumps when I quit. Providing -- I had a good job, which came with insurance, and I'm not a terribly risky jumper.

Quote

-How do family life and time at the DZ mix (or not mix)?

Depends on you, your family, and the DZ. A DZ with an active after-jumping party scene is much harder to leave after a few jumps than one where everyone goes home at the end of the day. The after-jumping scene is good for your jumping education, but it does take time. Personally, I think that when you're more of a newbie, jumping should take at least 2 full days a month -- a jump or two, hang around to learn stuff and meet people in between, see what happens. That's actually quite a lot from family, unless your kids come along. And if they come along then you have to worry about who's watching them if they're young

Quote

It seems that questions of this nature and depth may be better discussed on the parenting forum I frequent

Well, there, the folks are very likely simply to condemn skydiving. I know that on the parenting forum I frequented I was virtually the only mom not to be horrified about an ex-husband getting a 10-year-old involved in dirt-biking, or of a 15-year-old playing paintball

Quote

sometimes they are covered say 7 years ago, or partially covered-- is it not frowned upon here to "resurrect" a thread like that, or is that the preferred etiquette?

Nothing wrong with resurrecting a really topical thread. Someone may accuse you of thread necromancing, but if it's the right thread there's nothing wrong with that.

Basically I agree with folks who say you should try the tandem and see if you like it. If you do, then you can start working out the finances and demands on your time. My son is 26 now, so he's not much of an impact on my skydiving any more

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[topdocker 0]

There are a million reasons not to jump and any one of those may be your pet one right now. But for those of us that do.... we do so knowing the risks to ourselves and our loved ones.

I have two kids that grew up watching me and their mother jump. One has done several tandems, the other can't wait (only 15). I have asked both about my jumping and they both agreed, they couldn't imagine me not jumping, it is who I am. (even after two of our close friends were killed last year jumping)

The fear of dying should not keep you from living.

top

Jump more, post less!

[wolfriverjoe 1,350]

I'm not a parent, so take this as you will.

It's all Risk vs Reward. Is the risk worth the reward? One thing to remember is that there is risk everywhere in life.
The only way to avoid all risk is to wrap yourself in bubble wrap and hide in the basement. Not really worth living that "life" IMO.

Some quit when the kids arrive, some take a break until the kids are a bit older, some use the hanging harness (training tool) as a baby swing.

I know a couple "DZ brats" who had a dozen or so jumps before they were born.

Making sure the worst case scenario is covered (and you seem to have done so) is essential for all of us, not just parents who jump.

I'm a firm believer that a DZ isn't home unless it has well behaved and well supervised kids and dogs around (Yes, that is my dog in the pilot's seat as my avatar pic). Others have different opinions.
If you want to have your kid at the DZ, find a family friendly DZ. Some are, some aren't. That's just going to have to be one of the factors you use in choosing your home DZ.

Again, this is from an "Observer" perspective, but (depending on DZ policies) bring your whole family out for the tandem. There should be a spectator area, and having them there to cheer you on is always fun.
For the First Jump Course however, leave them home. It's a long and intense day for you, it will be a long and boring day for them. You need to focus completly on what you are learning, don't add in any unneccessary distractions.

Later on, depending on the DZ and your situation, having them around may or may not be what you want. By then, you'll have a better handle on the situation.
Keep in mind that there is equipment that is very expensive, that peoples lives depend on, and that is potentially dangerous (think spinning airplane prop).
Small kids can do very costly damage, or get hurt badly in a heartbeat.
At my DZ we explain on arrival, warn nicely once, and (if necessary) tell the parents that they are more than welcome to stay, but they are no longer allowed to enter the hangar. We've had some spectators leave angrily, but that's just too bad.

Last - I'm on some forums where bringing up long dead threads is not appropriate, and doing so repeatedly is a bannable offense.
It's not that way here. Just remember that the people who posted the thread from a couple years ago may not still be here. Some just aren't on the forum, some are gone forever

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[jenkincb00 0]

Quote

Wow.

I couldn't read your post at all. It seems an endless train of letters and words that defy one's ability to focus upon.

To the OP....I know this guy personally and reading anything more than the cartoon on his cereal box is way too much for him to focus on.

My son was born when I was 24, I had been jumping for a couple years already, he is now almost 7 and loves going to the DZ and I'm there 5 days a week during the season. It is what it is, get busy living or get busy dying...so they say anyway.

I agree with a couple things already stated.

A) do the tandem before worrying, your putting the cart before the horse

B) Your tolerance for risk is going to be different than every1 elses so its your decision

C) Life is to short to be affraid to live

[robinheid 0]

For those of you havin' trouble reading the OP's disseration, I've edited the formatting (but didn't change the content). I couldn't stand to read it before, either... see skymama1... this is why we use PROPER SENTENCES and ACTUAL PARAGRAPHS - to break up the text into technically understandable and visually digestible pieces!

Wasn't sure to post in women's forum or here in safety; move if you wish, but I'm speaking as a woman/mother, but realize every child generally has (at least) 2 parents and fathers also can respond as it's relevant to all.

I am interested to know how you feel about taking on an added risk that you would not otherwise be taking in your day to day life, with regard to your children?

I guess some of it is balancing risk versus benefit in general, it just adds a much heavier weight to the risk however minimal when there are children involved in my mind, which is why I spent a few months thinking/reading before scheduling my first couple courses/jumps.

I still have some mixed feelings but feel fairly confident in that 1) I know that I am first and foremost responsible for my safety, shit happens BUT most mistakes would be on me, and that I need to err on the side of caution.

(That is not any sort of general statement that most skydivers don't- I wouldn't know yet lol- nor that fatalities are always caused by recklessness- simply that anyone can make a mistake, but that I accept responsibility for taking advantage of all safety days and learning to check my gear, staying current, things like that to minimize risks.

The other factor I have thought of is statistics- that things like riding in or driving a car or motorcycle are similar in risk, that it is pretty darn unlikely that I am going to die or be severely injured, that realistically I did take the responsibility of writing a will and estate plan and power of attorney and such for accident or death in any case (at the time, I was prepping for childbirth not skydiving- lol- just thought that having a child enter the world was reason enough to have those documents squared away, especially being unmarried).

BUT sometimes my mind goes back to the fact that no matter how miniscule that risk might be, or how comparable to risks I might not even think twice about taking, it is STILL an added risk, however small, that I may be unable to work and support a family due to injury, or die (which I think would scare any mother, or father, but I guess being single and knowing my son's father is not fit to parent him right now is an even bigger factor--

although on the other hand, if someone were married, they may not just have worries about their child(ren) but also about leaving their wife or husband behind.

just curious if others considered and weighed these factors, some perspective etc. Like I said it's not black and white in my head but I have been thinking on it awhile and I guess my approach is that I need to be realistic and take certain steps for the what-ifs - but also feel safe enough that I am making a choice I can live with and benefit from, and so far the information and intuition I have gleaned makes me feel mainly confident in the choice to involve myself in the sport.

But again, I wonder how other parents consider these issues, and I do understand that "risk" is very relative and can be perceived very differently by different people, or the same people at different times or circumstances.. Anyways, blue skies.

(and disclaimer, yes I do now realize my username is similar to a mod's (skymama), and I don't want any more drama lol but fyi to those who are wondering, I do indeed realize it and have requested a change if the mods can or desire to grant it.

either way I am just here to learn and meet people and become the safest skydiver I can and enjoy every minute of it.

so yeah, hopefully, this can be an on topic relevant thread if others have thought about these issues which I imagine anyone who is a parent has- then maybe most sane parents don't skydive LOL i don't know much about what "normal" "sane" human beings do... just kidding, kinda, but i guess i sorta do things my own way, but i have my reasons... )

ETA: I'd also be interested to hear if there are families/parents who bring their kiddos along to family-friendly DZs and how that works out (I suppose it depends on the individual DZ and ages).. the one I plan to jump at this spring is owned by a family with three young kiddos near my son's age range, so I think it will be a good fit.

they have a playground and stuff, and I hope to have my kiddo and extended family/friends come out at times so he can play and hang out.

other days I'll have my son with his grandma at my apt or her house and I'll go out to the DZ by myself or with my brother (he's expressed an interest in diving, but either way if he backs out I'm still making him come and watch :)

since I want to get my license (I'm pretty motivated to get this license this season, so I figure as a parent, I know it's hard for me sometimes to be fully in learning/focusing mode if I feel I am in parenting-mode.

so if I want to go out and really get serious about getting the levels done and learning other things around the DZ, it will probably be easier to have family watch the kiddo.

but I do hope to incorporate him and family/friends into the sport and create a fun atmosphere, especially since I know there are other families there and there are times when you aren't jumping/packing/in class when you'd be waiting around, eating, etc. when I could spend time with family (and hopefully convince the rest of them to come up and jump sooner or later haha- anyone else converted their family?)



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gearing up for a sky adventure- first jump course/tandem on Easter and ground school/2nd jump AFF weather permitting on the 9th... can't wait!

(This post was edited by skymama1 on Mar 24, 2010, 2:02 AM)

SCR-6933 / SCS-3463 / D-5533 / BASE 44 / CCS-37 / 82d Airborne (Ret.)

"The beginning of wisdom is to first call things by their right names."

[NovaTTT 1]

What a difference divisions make!


ETA:

Quote

jenkincb00:

"Even in a world where perfection is unattainable, there's still a difference between excellence and mediocrity." Gary73

[ZigZagMarquis 8]

Drop zones are "adult" playgrounds.

Even at the most "family friendly" drop zone, some of the adults there skydiving won't want anything to do with your kids. Some will get up-tight if your kids get within 10 yards of their gear; be prepared to hear it. Some will mellow when they get to know you and your kids, but don't count on it across the board.

Most drop zones are not "family friendly", especially after dark. Some there would likely rather y'all leave your kids at home and may let you know it; be prepared to hear it.

Other jumpers at the DZ, staff, manifest, DZO, etc. are NOT responsible for YOUR kid's safety nor responsible for their corruption. If you don't want your kids to hear bad language, see drinking, smoking and/or fornication, the DZ isn't the best place to bring them. If you choose to, don't get bent at the other skydivers when they're exposed to such things.


Have fun!

Oh... same goes for bringing your dog to the DZ.

[JohnDeere 0]

My kids goto the DZ once or twice a year. Its always on a short day when i dont plan on spending all day out there. They are not allowed on the packing carpet and you bet your ass they will be gone by sundown! Im not dumb enough to let skydivers have time to influence my damn dog, much less my pride's and jow (kids)!

Nothing opens like a Deere!

You ignorant fool! Checks are for workers!

[airdvr 198]

Quote

I was jumping 25 years before the kids came along

...and 20 years before Orville and Wilbur invented the airplane...

Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

[JohnDeere 0]

Quote

Quote

I was jumping 25 years before the kids came along

...and 20 years before Orville and Wilbur invented the airplane...

Thats not right but Oh so funny!

Nothing opens like a Deere!

You ignorant fool! Checks are for workers!

[airtwardo 6]

Never piss off an OLD gunfighter...

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[StangMan90 0]

One of the main reasons my wife doesn't have a problem with me skydiving is that our kids are for the most part, "launch-ready", meaning my son is going to be 21 in September and my daughter will be 18 in January and they know everything there is to know about everything (right). I just started last October, but I don't think it would have been possible (for me, anyway) when my kids were younger and needed me the most. But now, I'm just a clueless nuisance to them (except when they need money), so that's my green light. I guess since I'm so clueless, I'll just have to start spending their inheritance now. DOOR!

Joe

simplify