billeisele 122 #26 March 20, 2009 it is about how the man perceives the actions of others and how he personally defines what "respect" is and how important it is for him, simply saying "I respect you" is meaningless, action has to back up the words for some men respect is more important than for others, respect or lack of respect is defined by the individual for instance some simplistic examples are, the man has certain wants - 1) he wants certain things done his way, 2) wants his stuff left alone, 3) wants his stuff put back where it is supposed to go if it is borrowed, 4) wants his mate to leave him a note where she went and what time she will be back so he won't worry about her, etc. - if his wants are met most of the time then no problem - if his wants are rarely met or not met when it is most important to him then he may perceive that he is not "respected" - for instance if he needs a hammer right now and the hammer is not where it is supposed to be then that might be a problem - if he comes home with a plan to ask his mate out to dinner, mate is not around and there is no note then that might be a problem His mood (yes beleive it or not men have moods) is effected by his environment. Bad day at work = shorter temper or sharper reaction to things that happen (missing hammer, no note) Everyone has varying abilities to manage stress. On a stress-free Saturday afternoon it may be almost impossible to get a negative reaction. On Monday evening after getting bitched out by the boss for no reason the missing hammer may cause an explosion. Why - because the boss "took" his self-respect and the missing hammer reinforced that he is not respected - even by the one that he trusts the most. There are tons of ways to show respect. You know your mate, what they like and dislike, what ticks them off, etc. Based on this one will know how to manage.Give one city to the thugs so they can all live together. I vote for Chicago where they have strict gun laws. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
el6uapo 0 #27 March 20, 2009 Everybody has a different idea of what love is and means. To me, love is not something that is shown or given. Love is not a diamond, a flower, cool new camera, a kiss or telling someone that you love them. Lasting love is extremely rare and no amount of "respect" can purchase it. My personal best explanation of my opinion is that love is ultimate acceptance without judgement, denial, fear, doubt or uncertainty. With most people love quickly comes and goes as they respect, disrespect, lie, tell the truth, cheat, judge, blame, complain, cherish or whatever. Basically, love quickly disapears when egos battle with each other over who or what is right or wrong. When love is present there are no bad feelings, no disrespect, no doubt, no fear. Analogy: Darkness cannont exist in the light. So, to get to my point. Respect or disrespect is a condition of the human consciousness and the ego. Love on the other hand exists only in the absence of the ego. That is why analyzing the statement is going to be futile. Either people love each other or they do not. Whoa, that was deep man... /The Love Doctor Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigra 0 #28 March 20, 2009 FANTASTIC post! Seriously! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #29 March 20, 2009 Quote FANTASTIC post! Seriously! Thanks! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guppie01 0 #30 March 20, 2009 QuoteI thought women wanted to be CHERISHED and men RESPECTED... And I think a man has to get through respecting as woman before he can cherish her... I think everyone wants to be respected. My ex-husband provided me with everything I needed, told me he loved me, but I NEVER felt he respected me. I could not be in a relationship with someone who did not respect me. g"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?" Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU OMG, is she okay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildWilly 0 #31 March 20, 2009 Quote It probably doesn't make sense to you because you're a man. J/K Trust me, a woman can love her husband and care about him, and not respect what he does or respect his behavior. Make sense? No it doesn't make sense.growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Orchid 0 #32 March 20, 2009 Gender different..... To me....when men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom. "he/she who wants a rose, must respect the thorn" ....just my .02"Love is doing small things with great love." Lacrosse: Legally beating men with sticks since 1492 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybytch 259 #33 March 20, 2009 QuoteIt probably doesn't make sense to you because you're a man. Wink J/K Trust me, a woman can love her husband and care about him, and not respect what he does or respect his behavior. Make sense? I don't have a penis and it doesn't make sense to me. If a woman doesn't like a man's behavior or the things he does, why stick around? He's not going to change and there are lots of other men out there who don't do those things... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigra 0 #34 March 20, 2009 Quote It probably doesn't make sense to you because you're a man. J/K Trust me, a woman can love her husband and care about him, and not respect what he does or respect his behavior. Make sense? I'm a woman. It doesn't make sense. A PERSON can love and respect another person and still not love or respect SOME of the things they do. Newsflash- If your husband acuses you of disrespecting him because you don't agree with him, he is the one who doesn't respect YOU. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrFreefall383 0 #35 March 20, 2009 Respect is an interesting word. One of the first three words/phrases we were taught in Coast Guard Basic Training, the other two being Honor and Devotion to Duty. Duty can be left alone here, but honor and respect are the two keys to real success. Honor, as they taught us, is a contract you make with yourself to uphold the highest standards of conduct, appearance, professionalism, etc. You want to be that guy who nobody can say anything bad about. Respect is a contract you make with your shipmates, or in the case of this thread your other half. That said, I find respect extremely important. If a girl respects me, it means that she knows I work hard, and isn't going to try to change me for her own selfish benefit. If I'm dating someone, I do the same, I always try to give them as much respect as is possible, and as much as they deserve. More or less is dependant on how deserving they are of it, but as a general rule of thumb I try not to respect anyone less than I would want in return. Relationships are supposed to be mutual compromises, so if I respect her and she doesn't respect me, she's not putting in her share and it's not worth my time or emotions wasted over it."If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DavidB 0 #36 March 20, 2009 How does one quantify such an abstract & subjective concept? Could it be about one's perspective? When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bluepill 0 #37 March 20, 2009 Not a serious response... INSTALLING A HUSBAND Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as Baseball 5.0, Football 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate. DEAR DESPERATE, First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.m However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7. Good Luck! Tech Support Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bluepill 0 #38 March 21, 2009 Serious response... Quote So guys, how important is respect to you, in a relationship? What does respect LOOK like? How does it feel when your woman doesn't respect you? It's very important. I think it is more about the level of respect though rather than totality. I would not expect a partner to completely respect everything that I do, but I would expect them to respect that I am who I am. Love me and respect me for who I am, warts and all not who YOU want me to be. BP Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mazz 0 #39 March 21, 2009 Ask 1000 people, get 1000 answers.In the Navy, you can't put your hands in your pockets but I was always told not to put my hands in my pockets by people with their hands in their pockets. Kinda funny huh? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BaronVonBoll 0 #40 March 21, 2009 To over4 simplify the answer to an in depth question. Woman "A" ask Man "B" Which dress do you like the red one or the blue one? Man "B" answers Red. Woman "A" decides man is wrong and wears the blue one. Man "B" feels his oppinion isnt respected and Woman a only asked to prove he would be wrong.. Hence the "Feeling of Disrespect! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,071 #41 March 21, 2009 QuoteIf a woman doesn't like a man's behavior or the things he does, why stick around? He's not going to change and there are lots of other men out there who don't do those things... Conversely, the same is true. Both stick around because they don't respect themselves enough to understand that being alone is better than being disrespectful in a relationship. A process that appears to come with experience and maturity.Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JerryBaumchen 1,064 #42 March 21, 2009 Hi Keith, I think it was Dan Poynter who said that a wife is there to help you with a problem that you would never have had if you had stayed single. JerryBaumchen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #43 March 21, 2009 Quote Quote It probably doesn't make sense to you because you're a man. Wink J/K Trust me, a woman can love her husband and care about him, and not respect what he does or respect his behavior. Make sense? I don't have a penis and it doesn't make sense to me. If a woman doesn't like a man's behavior or the things he does, why stick around? He's not going to change and there are lots of other men out there who don't do those things... So you're saying one must approve of everything a man does? Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliophile 0 #44 March 21, 2009 Quote It probably doesn't make sense to you because you're a man. J/K Trust me, a woman can love her husband and care about him, and not respect what he does or respect his behavior. Make sense? From a man's perspective, it sounds to me like you are confusing love and passion. They are not the same, but most people feel passion and think it is love. It is not. I don't think it is possible to love a person without respecting him; it is possible to be passionate towards a person without respecting him. At the same time, it is also possible to respect a person in general, but not respect everything he or she does. But this begs the question, is it just certain things about him that you don't respect, or is it just the big picture?"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybytch 259 #45 March 21, 2009 QuoteSo you're saying one must approve of everything a man does? No. Approving of what he does and respecting his right to do whatever he wants are two different things. I show respect to my s/o by not telling him what he can and can't do. If what he does becomes so bothersome to me that I lose respect for him as a person, I'm gone, and I would expect the same from him. He deserves better than that and so do I. Bigun said it better than I did. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #46 March 21, 2009 For me, respect is a lot of things.. It's about looking after something that you don't give a damn about, because you know it's important to your *partner* (or friend/colleague).. Respect is not treating someone like they're stupid just because they have a different opinion. Respect is backing someone up when they need support, or when someone else is out of line.. Respect is taking someone seriously when they're worried about something, even when you think their concern is ridiculous.. Because no matter how silly it seems to you, it's very real/scary to them. Sometimes, respect is even about doing things you *hate*, because you care about someone else. Personally, I don't want a man to just back down in an argument, or put aside what he wants so that I get my way, or always agree with me.. I just want him to treat me with dignity. Most importantly, the way he treats me should match the level of care I give him.. Nothing worse than imbalance when it comes to caring for someone or looking after someone's well-being.. I think someone shows a lack of respect when they make you feel small or stupid. There is no respect when someone puts you down or belittles you, especially in front of other people. It's not respect when someone thinks they're more important than you. And it's *definitely* not respect when someone tries to change who you are."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BaronVonBoll 0 #47 March 21, 2009 Nataly you have my respect. Good answer Baron Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #48 March 21, 2009 Quote Nataly you have my respect. Awww!! Thanks "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #49 March 23, 2009 QuoteTo clarify, I DON'T think love and respect are mutually exclusive of each other. I was simply wanting to focus on men and respect; the more I learn everyone seems to focus so much on love but forget to focus on respect. If I do all these lovey dovey things for my husband but yell at him or do something behind his back, I am not showing him respect which pretty much negates all of the lovey-dovey stuff. IMHO. I think you are confusing love and romance.Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #50 March 23, 2009 Quote So you're saying one must approve of everything a man does? No. But both parties should try to understand why they did/didn't do something. It's work for both sides. Agree to disagree works only after you can see the others point.Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
