Skinflicka

Is this some kind of sick joke? They're not toys y'know. Gas masks are serious business. I was going to post a picture of my dick as an avatar but you couldn't upload a 64 x 1280 image. $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

OK Zennie, What the fuck is a largede and what is it doing by his leg? Faber, you must have a copy of Feral's English dictionary. The worrying thing is that as I read this, most of it makes perfect sense. You usually get a smelly infection from a bad exit rather than blue balls, by the way. $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

...then he may just be a regular skydiver. For those who are hard of understanding, that is not me in my avatar. What? You think I'm a six year old who wears a gas-mask? Dudes! $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

That's a good point well made, MH. Fuck the jump. Start tappin' some ass. $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

While blowing a bunch of BASE jumpers at the top the frozen pizza cliff I noticed one of them was a girl which made me a little uncomfortable. I stuck a pumpkin up her butt in order to avert her gaze Does this mean I'm gay? $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

"The trick is to insult everyone and thereby avoid the label of "personal attack"." eh??? What's up with that? Am I a Canadian now? $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

You tight twat! No goodies after all the nice things I said about you? Way to go, Mark. Nice work. Things like this restore my faith in humanity. Honorable mention to our BASE manufacturers too. There's not a lot of money in making the stuff that saves our lives while we have our fun. We should all be grateful that these companys are run by such outstanding people. Thanks to everyone who supported our illegitimate, club-footed dwarf. You guys rock. Mark will soon be appearing on Howard Stern's show where he will be playing the part of a nasty deformed midgit who gets covered in peanut butter and thrown to the lesbians (lucky man). Keep an eye open for him. Chin chin, $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

Foul!!! Book 'em Danno. The trick is to insult everyone and thereby avoid the label of "personal attack". I'd be interested in knowing who the BASE jumpers you have met are. Perhaps you should change your name to Bananapilot. It's all just fun and ephedra, dude. Don't go crazy. $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

Lynched by skydivers = mauled by sheep. Bedtime. Boing. PS smile or I'll bite you. $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

Can't we just beat him with a stick? $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

That's a good question my deciduous, friend. Let's find out. You may think you know a thing or two about BASE but there's more than two things to know. We are, at this point, self-regulating. If you make too much of a hoohaa we will regulate you. It's a good thing the IBP isn't in Georgia. Of that you can be sure cuz there'd be more folks wearing a waterproof, feathered toupe if it was. "What has this guy done wrong" whines the uninitiated populous. "He pissed us off and that's all it takes motherfucker". We don't ask permission, we don't cry to the authorities, we don't allow ourselves to be fucked over. We take care of our own including our errant children. You can spend as long in the stadium as you like...it don't make you a quarterback. Your assumed knowledge of the activity counts for shit. Once you've experienced BASE then you'll realized how cretinous your whuffo comments are. "I plan to make a BASE jump someday". Fuck that. I'll send you a check for $110 and you can drop by the tanning salon tomorrow. There's fuck-all to it. Any asshole can BASE jump. Shit, It's safer than crossing the street. The worst that can happen is that you hit the ground and your inards compress so hard that they force your internal organs out through your asshole and your brain exits through the top of your head so fast it blows a hole in the Protec you're wearing. Piece of piss, really. Why the concern, lady? Aw shit, you can always have more kids to replace this one. Where's the data to back up these wild assumptions? Why does being a rigger help you BASE jump or give you any knowledge? All you do is pack a canopy. Once it's packed your rigging's done. Game over. No longer required. Go home. Go, on. Shooo. Besides, I know riggers who can pack a reserve but tie their own shoelaces together. The principles of two activities may be the same but the transfer of skills isn't guaranteed. My chihuahua is tame and I trained him ergo I could be a lion tamer. Twat! Suppers ready Leo and it's wearing a pink DaKine jumpsuit. Yeah, the one giving his buddy the high five and walking like he just got outta prison. Chow down. I could give a fuck whether what this guy is doing is legal, illegal, ethical or whatever. Fact is, if it results in our playground being exposed to risk then a reaction should be expected. It may not be pretty. You may be willing to stand by while some poor bastard gets killed in an accident you could've prevented by intervening. I won't. I don't know a BASE jumper who would. I wouldn't jump with anyone who would. When I get carved up I want the 95 lb chick who followed me down to dig deep, haul me onto her shoulder and drag my ass back to the 4x4. You can stay at the bottom crying and puking and generally acting like a tit. Maybe that's the difference that allows someone to to be a BASE jumper rather than just performing a BASE jump. Commitment to your comrades through all the shit. If you had knackers you'd already be what you're talking about doing. Whew! The Metabolife seems potent this evening. Seriously, we resond to stimuli and our response is not always a measured one. If you meant to wind people up then congrats. You did it. Now please, pretty please...fuck off back to your own world. Shouting = insults = venting = feeling better (sorry Tom). $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

Too bad he didn't throw a fucking hand grenade. Skydivers!!! $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

Nuthin' yet. But if he continues on this path he may just get the IBP shut down. An ounce of prevention, a pound of cure...? Maybe we should investigate the wisdom of that old adage. The burger joint is one analogy. How about a guy stood on the school corner selling crack to kids? You wouldn't fuck with his business? Do you consider his enterprise ethical? Or are you stoned? I am. $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

B is for building. How long did you say you'd been in the sport? $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

I love that color blue on you. What a hottie! $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

Yeah they do but I concede that it's just because it's good for business not because they have hearts of gold. I'd say that any jump resulting in increased security and therefore decreased accessability is a burn. That's my definition. Perhaps that isn't the view held by most. See, I told you he was the BASE Zen-Master General.

Since I'm the last one to have made an anti-RB comment (which incidentally was just goofin' intended to wind up Tree) I guess I'll enter the fray. 1) The fact that RB "looks after" it's athletes is neither unusual nor impressive. Hell, my company is shit but it's still provides medical protection. This is a pre-requisite for employment in my mind not a bonus. B) When Yamaha found out Jeff Emig has tested +ve for Smoking weed they dropped him like a brick. Yamaha, a key player in the freeriding / freestyle scene are a manufacturer of performance equipment for use in a very extreme sport. They still decided that Jeff's faux pas (which in some peoples eyes gives credability to the bad-ass, extreme athlete aura) gave a negative impact to their reputation. This is a pretty typical response from a large company since it is a contravention of their ethics policy. RB is a multi-national but appears to have misplaced their code of ethics (business AND BASE ethics). 13) I somehow doubt (and this is purely personal opinion based on anecdotal info and media news) that either RB or FB have the spirit of BASE at the forefront of their minds when planning their activities. RB uses sports to sell drinks. FB uses RB to finance his play time. That's about as shallow as it gets. This is not worse or better than any other company and what FB does is really no worse than many other BASE jumpers have done. However, Felix understands before hand that whether or not he gets busted, even if he gets away clean without anyone seeing (unlikely given his mid day jumps but whatever...) that his exploits WILL be broadcast as entertainment. Many get caught in the act and reach the media in our little world. It usually has negative impacts and sometimes we are even fortunate that when things blow over and the dust settles, jumping can resume. Sometimes it's over for good. Object burned for ever. Rarely, I feel, does one of us intend and plan for this to happen for personal gain. I like RB. Mixed with vodka it makes fantastic Loudmouth Soup. However, as a consumer I reserve the right to try to impress upon my friends and colleagues that I am displeased with the company that creates the stuff and for that reason it would mean something to me if, in support of my point of view, they would make a more informed choice of energy drink. They have the right to say "you mean less to me that my consumption of RB Mr Flicka - please be quiet while I enjoy this satisfying and tasty beverage which is made of ingredients derived from bovine testes". Fair enough? You've touched on the ego thing. I'm kinda gonna leave that one alone. We all have them to some extent but we don't all allow ourselves to be led by them. Nuff said. Finally, you are still the BASE Zen-Master General. I have great respect for that. You are standing up for your friend. I have enormous respect for that. You don't, apparently, know Jack Schidt about the world of energy drinks, their marketing or the mechanisms of international business. I could give a rat's ass about that. Hope to share an exit and a few laughs sometime, Respectfully, Glasshoppa' $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

I wasn't late. It was those pesky newbies chomping at the bit. The earlier prediction used data from BASE 1 onwards. The latest shot only uses the availble data from BASE 600 onwards. The numbers are not seasonally adjusted. Perhaps summer winds on those thermally fickle buildings will slow down the proceedings. Then again, perhaps not. The bottom line is that beginning next month there will be a shit load of ASErs scoping buildings all over the place. Fortunately the law enforcement community will be busy saving lives and catching serious criminals rather than sitting across the street from the high-rises, slurping coffee and gorging on Krispy Kremes...Not! $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

In the hope that some good may come from one of my awful posts... You've probably heard about Mark Amodeo's attempt to quosh some of his innner demons by subjecting himself to gruesome physical torture this weekend (which in truth, is just conditioning for the environment he'll be existing in when he finally achieves "stable and flattened" status under a remote object). Maybe hearing a little more about the man himself will provoke new donations, each of which comes with the potential of winning great gear from some of the worlds leading BASE outfitters. Mark Imodium, real name Mark Amodeo, was renamed after discovering a cure for ovine diahorrea. This was a coup for the young man since he was neither medic nor pharmacologist. He had previously noticed during field tests that sheep would no longer leak from the rear if he was plugged into the tight brown. Unfortunately for our wooly friends the "cure" is not only temporary but also limited in that he can only administer treatment to 11 patients at a time. A normal sheep doctor can usually treat up to 21 patients but like most of his national breathren, Mark is afflicted with club feet which although small, cannot be inserted easily without removing five patients from each of his hands to assist treatment. Born of unconventional means in the shadow of Oldbury Nuclear Power Plant, the son of multiple diverse species was transfixed by tall objects in his locale. He gained a particluar passion for those objects which were so huge that they reached all the way to the ground from their postion in the sky. Tormented by the promise of magical experiences atop such divine structures and fortified by his diet of rats and leeks, he escaped from his cage in the cellar during his early teen years and began his journey to the big city where his thirst for altitude could be slaked within easy waddling distance from his YWCA hostel. The next few years were tough for young Imodium. London was plentiful with rats but few leeks were accessible from the studio dumpster which was now his abode. Long hours of contemplation were spent under the power towers next to the Thames (a favored spot for Mark who enjoyed the tingling of the static which the high tension cables induced in the hairs of his palms). The day of his enlightment was soon at hand. After a paticularly vicious bout of primate discipline, physically weakened but spiritually fulfilled, the young Imodium fell asleep in the luxurious folds of a nylon sheet which had conveniently fallen from the power tower minutes earlier. He awakened to the startling crack of what sounded like lightning and, as was soon to become his signature state of mind, found himself to be wet, dazed and confused (but with river water this time...later this would evolve into wet with his own pee pee). Dragging himself out of the Thames with his twin-elbowed arms and pushing throught the swamp-like mud with his webbed feet, our Welsh hero emerged in time to see the butt of Simon Jakeman filling his stash bag with his BASE canopy and loping gracefully back to his Mark II Ford Escort. Realizing that he was destined to repeat this experience WITH a packed parachute rather than IN a packed parachute, the chance encounter with the genetically correct Jakeman proved to be a turning point in Mark's life. He was now on a course to become the legendary BASE 539. Originally, on course to be BASE 500, Imodium had slipped down the list due to the 8 months it took for him to find someone to write to Rick Harrison for him. 539 is a number of power, however and Imodium drew strength from it's significance going even as far as having the numerals tatooed on his pectoral fins. The events following this achievement are the subject of further research for a student of history with a stronger stomach than mine. Back to the present... In an attempt to recreate the old days prior to his constructive surgery which allows him to pass as a functioning member of society these days, Mark is selflessly challenging the three peaks to gain donations to those less forunate than us. These, the highest mole hills in England, Scotland and Wales could still be a gruelling test for the biologically challenged man. I have every confidence that he is inspired enough by the thought of helping those in need to complete the quest as planned. Although weak and hideously grotesque in appearance (he once asked Quasimodo what happened to his face. Quasi replied " I cut myself shaving...what the fuck happened to yours?") his strength of spirit will bring him though. The cause is a good one, donating is easy and there's no risk of infection. A few bucks will go a long way and could win you some goodies. Take a peek at http://www.action.org.uk/~BASE539 Take care, stay safe, enjoy the prizes. Best wishes, $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

Tree's on his 14th redbull and he's on a roll. I thought we were boycotting and going to Go Fast? You drop out already? $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

I fuck the shit out of stupid mothers. It's fun. $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

No problemo el capitan, Fire me the numbers over and I'll have it done before you can say Jack Robinson. $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

Hey Nikko, Where can I get a copy of the soundtrack from 1st (& 2nd) BASE? Tnx, $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

How about "I don't ever need to touch my own genitals as I have Space to spank my stuntmonkey"? Just funnin' Space. You're still the BASE Zen-Master General in my eyes. $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.

You already knew what you needed to know about yourself to do this, Mac. You just hadn't straightened your thoughts out. I didn't convince you or try to temp you into BASE. I just repeated what you already knew. You were just prompted to make a decision to act. None of this was really my doing. You just remember our conversation as being at the same time the balance tipped. It was all you...same as it is with anyone else. BASE is free but noone is going to hand it to you. Think of it like picking apples. If you're hungry enough, you'll start climbing the tree... Philosophically yours, $kin. Prizes to anyone who gets to read my posts before Mr Aiello's son, Tom deletes them.