What kinds of jokes would Jesus have laughed at?

[Deuce 1]

Since he "knew the secret" and all, I'd guess he'd laugh lovingly at our clumsy attempts to understand the big picture.

Kind of like how I laughed with one of my daughter's this morning when she was singing a song with the word "party" in it as "potty". As in "Potty all the time" and "Potty all night long".

But since most humor has some sort of victim, would Jesus have laughed much?

I think so. He hung out with capenters and fishermen and sinners, and those people have a long history of party time.

Seriously. What kind of joke would have started out as "Hey! Jesus! Listen to this..."

"A Rabbi, a Centurion, and a Moor walk into this bar..."

Imagine his laugh. I know I have given him many opportunities to point and laugh at me.

"JP, you're killing me. Again"

[Deuce 1]

See, most of you love to argue religion, few of you seem to have any desire to joke about it.

It's really all just about the potluck.

Really.

[PhillyKev 0]

No healthy adult male can resist laughing at a good fart joke.

[turtlespeed 212]

A guy dies & goes to the Pearly Gates - St. Peter is ushering him around - and letting him decide what religion he wants to be.

They walk up to one door and he looks through a window and sees some people drinking some brewskies and havinga good time dancing.

Peter Says - "These are the protestants - they are pretty liberal as far as religion goes.

Next, they walk up to one door and he looks through a window and sees some people drinking some soft drinks and having a good time dancing and barbaqueing.

Peter Says - "These are the Catholics - they are mid stream as far as religion goes.

Peter leans over and whispers into his ear,"Take your shoes off and be VERY quiet"

So they tip toe up the stairs and look through a very small peep hole - and they see people all dressed up in tuxes and Ankle length dressess buttoning up to the chin. Everyone is drinking tea with thier little finger held out just right.

St Peter says, "quiet now - lets go back"

So they go back to the graet hall and Peter is asked - Who were tose people, why did we have to be so quiet?

St. Peter chuckled, and said, OH, those are the Southern Baptists, we had to be so quiet because they think they are the only ones here.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[billvon 2,412]

A priest, a rabbi and a hooker walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

[PhillyKev 0]

A preist walks into a bar....





...the Rabbi behind him ducks.

badump bump.

[pajarito 0]

So....a baby seal walks into a club........

(I know...not religious...I just like that one.)

[Deuce 1]

So you're saying Jesus wore fur?

[happythoughts 0]

Jesus looks down at Mary and whispers "Could you get me my flats, these spikes are killin' me."

(a shoe joke that all women get)

[wmw999 2,132]

A couple courted each other for 57 years, but never married because they were of different religions. They died within a few hours of each other, and both went to Heaven.

When they got there, they asked if they could get married to each other, since they were both in Heaven. They were told "Yes, but you have to wait awhile." They were ecstatic, and couldn't wait.

3 weeks later, they were called back, and told "You may get married now." It was a beautiful wedding; both wore white.

A month after that, they went back to God, and said that they had to get a divorce -- never having lived with each other , each had no idea of the other's bad habits, and there was no way they could put up with that.

God exploded, and said "For crying out loud -- it took 3 weeks to get a minister into Heaven -- how long do you think it will take to get a lawyer?"

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[headoverheels 291]

Why didn't Jesus get into college? He got crossed up on the boards.

[airtwardo 6]

Hey buddy would ya mind crossing your legs?

We're about outta nails!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[Deuce 1]

Bwah!

I also think Jesus would much have rathered that everybody be wearing a chalice around their neck. I think he enjoyed the wine miracle. Or maybe even a surf motif for the water walking thing. Or shades, for the blind guy cure...

Having to see that cross everywhere he looks would probably be the source of some bad flashback dreams.

"Oh, Crap! You guys chose the cross? I HATED the cross!"

[headoverheels 291]

Quote

No healthy adult male can resist laughing at a good fart joke.

He was reputed for his flatulence. To this day, one often hears "Jesus, was that you?"

[tbrown 26]

Jesus probably would've liked the Three Stooges, because he was a guy and a Jew. Probably also would've liked derogatory jokes about Romans.

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

[Muenkel 0]

In the town square, the citizens gathered to stone to death a woman caught in adultery. Jesus stepped in front of the woman and proclaimed to the citizens, "He who is without sin, cast the first stone." The crowd looked at eachother and disassembled in their own guilt. Suddenly a woman approached, picked up a stone and tossed it at the adulterer. At that time Jesus yelled out "Not fair Mom!".

_________________________________________
Chris

[TomAiello 25]

Not directed at Deuce:

I just removed several pedophilia jokes from this thread. Come on people, it's "Speaker's Corner", not "Forum Rules Don't Apply Here."

Quote

The Forum Rules:
1. No personal attacks.
2. No jokes about or references to pedophilia. None.
3. No advertising in the forums.
4. Post to the correct forum and stay on topic.

-- Tom Aiello

[email protected]
SnakeRiverBASE.com

[rickjump1 0]

The difference between a Methodist and a Baptist: The Methodist will come over and say hello when he meets you in a liquor store.

Do your part for global warming: ban beans and hold all popcorn farts.

[Kris 0]

Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the innkeeper three nails and asks, "Can you put me up for the night?"

Sky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and
Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™

[Deuce 1]

Thanks Tom. I figured one of you guys would be on the job about that.

Girls had first communion today. Jesus would have laughed along with the whole church when I had to tell one daughter to move out of frame so I could photograph the other with the two parish priests.

It was fun.

[gary350 0]

A few days after the crucifiction, Jesus was in a partying mood and went to a disco. Problem was, he couldn't get his groove on - he couldn't quite get in synch with the music. Finally, in frustration, he exclaimed to his friends. . .


. . .



. . .



. . .



. . .


. . .


. . .


Help! I've risen and I can't get down!

[Skyrad 0]

LOL................Thats funny!

When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

[Botellines 0]

A school bus full of cheerleaders (over 18, just for the record) from a catholic University have an accident and four of them die. The show in front of Peter at heavens gates. Peter ask the first one wether she had any sexual relationship with a man. After confessing she had masturbated a friend she was told to was her hand in a fountain nearby. The second one had her breast rubbed by a friend so she was told to cleanse herself with the holy water of the nearby fountain. Suddenly the last one comes forward and yells, MY TURN MY TURN, so Peter ask her why so much haste so she replies. I better drink some holy water before you tell Ann to clean her ass.

[FliegendeWolf 0]

Quote

Quote

No healthy adult male can resist laughing at a good fart joke.

He was reputed for his flatulence. To this day, one often hears "Jesus, was that you?"

I've often said that the existence of flatulence is proof that God has a sense of humor.

A One that Isn't Cold is Scarcely a One at All

[brits17 0]

Moses, Jesus, and an old bearded man were out playing golf one day.

Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. It landed in the fairway but rolled directly toward a water trap. Quickly, Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side safe and sound.

Next, Jesus strolls up to the tee and hits a nice long one directly toward the same water trap. It landed directly in the center of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped it up onto the green.

The third guy gets up and sort of randomly whacks the ball. It heads out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounces off a truck and hits a nearby tree. From there it bounces onto the roof of a nearby shack and rolls down into the gutter, down the downspout, out onto the fairway and right toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the pond, it hits a little stone and bounces out over the water and onto a lily pad where it rested quietly. Suddenly, a very large bullfrog jumped up on the lily pad and snatched the ball into his mouth. Just then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog and flew away. As they passed over the green, the frog squealed with fright and dropped the ball which bounced right into the hole for a beautiful hole-in-one.

Moses turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with your dad."

_______________________
aerialkinetics.com