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RkyMtnHigh

Unsupportive Significant Other

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How do you deal with moving forward with your AFF when you have a significant other at home as an emotional WRECK? thinking that everytime you leave to the DZ that you might not come back? I've told him that he should come watch the briefing and debriefing and watch me land and all will be okay..he won't come! Ugh!>:(





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How do you deal with moving forward with your AFF when you have a significant other at home as an emotional WRECK? thinking that everytime you leave to the DZ that you might not come back? I've told him that he should come watch the briefing and debriefing and watch me land and all will be okay..he won't come! Ugh!>:(




cutaway//.... and goto the reserve!!!

havent you learned anything yet?

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You've posted twice about feeling unsupported in your jumping--there are lots of skydivers here who have been through it. In fact, almost all of us in one way or another.

I was dating a guy who was unsupportive when I went through AFF. Came out to the DZ for my L2, sat inside and read a book while I landed, refused to do a tandem, and basically thought I was crazy. Well, you have to decide at some point what skydiving means to you. I knew I would never be able to give it up without living the rest of my life feeling bitter. So it didn't work out with the whuffo.

Maybe you are in a more committed relationship--figure out what's important to you and then deal with it. You may have to be patient in helping him come around. It sounds like he is just very worried about you. Then again, there are lots of divorced skydivers out there. I'm thankful I got a rig on before I made a decision like that, or I'd be one of them.

If someone demands that you to give up something you love, they don't truly love who you are and the relationship will never work in the long term. They love who they want you to be. You can figure that out now or later, but the result will be the same.
It's the Year of the Dragon.

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How do you deal with moving forward with your AFF when you have a significant other at home as an emotional WRECK?



Personally I've gone with the safety factors, safety factor, safety factor. Let them stew on it for a while, drop comments every now and then and don't go on the defensive if/when you get the "why are you doing this?"

I've pretty much been talking about skydiving well before I even thought of doing it. Perhaps all he needs is time? I honestly think it's a patience thing, but perhaps some never truly accept it?

After 5-6 months of mentioning to my hubby that it's something I've always wanted to do etc etc he came up with this comment "It's not fair if I always shoot down what you want to do. If you want to get a tattoo or skydive it's your choice and I wouldn't want to take that enjoyment of it away from you"

How beautiful is that? It only took about 6 months!!! :)

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I would change him into an Unsupportive Insignificant Other.
His only option then is to become a Supportive Insignificant Other.
After which you can decide he is a Supportive Significant Other.
USO -> UIO -> SIO -> SSO

Well it makes sense to me :P

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18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates
4.2,which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are
apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution
was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make
matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other
applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. A shareware program,
Party Girl 2.1, which I tried, had many bugs and left a virus in my
system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.
Eventually,I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same
time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other,
they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I then upgraded to Fiancee 1.0, only to discover that this product soon
had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up
all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and
Cleanhouse2002. Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife
1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were
automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They
then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0
also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail Filter, and can,
without warning, Launch TurboStrop and Whinge.

These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess
what the problem is. Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs
updating regularly, requiring ShoeShopBrowser for new attachments and
Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Wife
1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that drain my resources. These
conflict with some of the new games I wanted to try out, warning me that
they are an illegal operation. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my
Audi TT hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with a rather
annoying pop-up called Mother-In-Law, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2003, but there could be
problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0
detects Mistress 2003, it tends to delete all of your Money files before
uninstalling itself.

Any ideas?

You think you have problems!

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:D:D:D:D

ehm, just an idea: how would it be to run Mistress2oo3 in the background and protecting it with some sort of a FireWall program?? i even saw someone saying on a computer forum that it is lalso very vise to make a backup copy (or several) of Money files and hiding them from the Wife 1.0 on some other HD or even in a bank...

p.s. sorry velo90, but i had to reply to this one, it's hillarious!!! btw, i'm sure everything will be ok :)


Check out the site of the Fallen Angels FreeflY Organisation:
http://www.padliangeli.org

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i was in the same boat, but i waited it out and now things are okay. i used to run to the dz, get in a jump (if the wait wasn't too long), then hurry home and be in shi!t anyway. now that she sees i really enjoy this sport, i go out to the dz one day on the weekend and spend most of it. sometimes i'll be sitting around the house on a nice day and she'll say 'why don't you go get a jump in?'. the only caveat so far is that if i break a bone, i'm done. had my first reserve ride on the weekend and that freaked her out. i explained to her that everything worked properly, and i landed without incident in spite of my stupid mistake that could have mad it worse. (see the incidents forum).

if things don't improve however, you'll have to make a hard decision. good luck!
"Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart."
MB4252 TDS699
killing threads since 2001

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Umm.......something you should know ahead of time. With very few exceptions, relationships between skydivers and whuffos DON'T work out. Hell, just this past summer I had been dating this girl for a while (like 6-7 months) and though she was awesome (She was a model and she insisted on cooking for me all the time ;)) she HATED my skydiving. I put up with her bitching for a while, until she gave me the ol' ultimatum. "Choose: Me or Skydiving". My response? "Okay, see ya!!" ;)

Trust me, if it's this bad now, even before you start jumping every single weekend and wanting to cut your whole life away to jump, it's only going to get worse. So now you're faced with a difficult decision. Which is more important, the sky, or this person? Unfortunately, the odds are pointing towards the fact that you'll have to sacrifice one for the other, and to be honest, if you're posting here, I think we both know what you really want...... B|

Besides, you can hook up with skydiver guys from now on!! How YOU doin???? ;)

Wrong Way
D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451
The wiser wolf prevails.

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With very few exceptions, relationships between skydivers and whuffos DON'T work out.


You forgot to add, "With very few exceptions, relationships between a skydiver and another skydiver DON'T work out." Hence, that's why "As the Prop Turns" is such a common theme.
There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning

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How do you deal with moving forward with your AFF when you have a significant other at home as an emotional WRECK? thinking that everytime you leave to the DZ that you might not come back? I've told him that he should come watch the briefing and debriefing and watch me land and all will be okay..he won't come! Ugh!>:(



C U T - A W A Y

He's too closed minded.

But that's just my personal experiance. Mine even did a tandem " for me " was all excited and paid for another one, then never wanted to do it.

I got the same speech - I'm so worried - Blah Blah Blah

Go to plan B!

(did that sound bitter?:P)
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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>With very few exceptions, relationships between skydivers and whuffos DON'T work out.

I know more happly married Jumper/non-jumpers then I know happly married jumping couples. I've had more issues dating jumpers then I have dating non-jumpers (Whuffo is so harsh if they understand but don't want to do it). Jumpers that have more experience want to be the all knowing mentor, and that sometimes does not go over well in a relationship off the DZ too. Other issus are jumpers are more likely to know the difference between just pulling something off by pure luck and walking away then non-jumpers thinking thats what you ment to do. Only at max 15% of most hard core jumpers time is spent at a DZ, why base a relationship on that 15%? There is 85% that is better then the 15%.

There is more to a relationship then just what one person wants. If you want to skydive thats great (I love it myself :ph34r:) but you need to communicate to your SO about why and what type of safety measures you are taking to minimize your risk of injury or death. If it takes you promising them that you will always jump with things like a Cypres, a large canopy, you won't do high proformance landings and other similar things. Show them that you are not a death seaking adrenilin junkie and they might just come around and not have an issue with it. You don't have to force them to jump either.

Another thing to think about is eventually most people take breaks from jumping for one reason or another. Do you really want to be sitting there after taking a break and look back and realize you gave up things to have nothing in the end?
Yesterday is history
And tomorrow is a mystery

Parachutemanuals.com

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You forgot to add, "With very few exceptions, relationships between a skydiver and another skydiver DON'T work out." Hence, that's why "As the Prop Turns" is such a common theme.



And the logical conclusion:

With very few exceptions, relationships DON'T work out. :P
A One that Isn't Cold is Scarcely a One at All

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>But what if you ARE a death seeking adrenaline junkie?

Then you need to do the sport a favor and leave before you leave a black (and bloody) mark on it.



Wow, that was harsh, only kidding..... :S

Wrong Way
D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451
The wiser wolf prevails.

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This topic comes up so often. The truth is all relationships are hard. I suppose when i first started jumping i had the attitude that i could never date a whuffo. But now i realize there is a bit more to life. I still jump hardcore, but i'm able to pass up a gorgeous day at the DZ to partake in other things. Communication is key. Compromise is also important. If you're really so obsessed with skydiving and can't be bothered to do things your S/O is interested in, then perhaps you need to grow up a bit. I get so tired of hearing the stupid line "cutaway now." Thats total bullshit. If you love the person, try and work it out. If it doesn't work, at least you tried. I've seen many jumper/whuffo relationships that work.

All relationships are hard. If dating a fellow skydiver was so easy, then everyone would be happily involved.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

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If dating a fellow skydiver was so easy, then everyone would be happily involved.



But isn't skydiving just a big orgy anyway?? ;)

I'm just kidding, no one take me serious on that. Thank you. :|

Wrong Way
D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451
The wiser wolf prevails.

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