Just say no?

[MikeJD 0]

OK, we've all been there. You're standing around with your friends planning your next hot skydive and along comes somebody you really do not want to jump with - but who really wants to jump with you - and asks if he can join your group.

I'm not talking about the guy who might be a second or two late to his slot. I mean the guy who you know, from past experience or reputation, will simply destroy your dive, take out everone else several times over, disappear at six grand and reappear under a deploying canopy directly beneath you. Oh, and then come down and proceed to give you some tips on improving your skills.

The question is, how do you deal with it when he pops the question?

[AggieDave 6]

How about:

"Sorry bro, we've got this one all planed out just right, how about we go do one 2 loads from now..."

Then you have a chance to teach this guy, maybe even help him overcome his problems.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[CrazyIvan 0]

I'd say, check the weather report for the week in advance, so when this person approach you, you just say: "mmmmm...sorry man, not today, but thursday, we can do it all day if you want", of course, thursday is when you'll have a F4 tornado in your area

__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

[turtlespeed 212]

Sugar Coating is insulting.

Noone wants their feelings hurt, but at the same time - if you don't tell them whats really up - then the safety issue takes l;onger to resolve it's self.

Be honest - but don't be cruel. More respect was given from me, in these situations, than if someone would have lied or gone around the truth.

Whoever it is will get over it - Skydiving is not really the place for an overly fragile psyche/ego. We are dealing with people's lives here.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[MikeJD 0]

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How about:

"Sorry bro, we've got this one all planed out just right, how about we go do one 2 loads from now..."

But this is the UK. Two loads from now is probably this time next week

[Darius11 12]

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Sugar Coating is insulting.

Noone wants their feelings hurt, but at the same time - if you don't tell them whats really up - then the safety issue takes l;onger to resolve it's self.

Be honest - but don't be cruel. More respect was given from me, in these situations, than if someone would have lied or gone around the truth.

Whoever it is will get over it - Skydiving is not really the place for an overly fragile psyche/ego. We are dealing with people's lives here.

***



what he said

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[Mirage63 0]

I tell them that the skill level on this next jump is a little above them, but I'd love to go do a good two way after I do this jump.

(Which is all a lie because I suck anyway!)

The hardest answer I ever got was a straight faced "No" with nothing else added. This was after I had purchased (at a very inflated price I found out later) the gear from one of the three guys trying to find someone to jump with!

[tigra 0]

If you don't want to jump with him because you feel he is dangerous, you should tell him. If enough people tell him that, he'll either get the message and do something about it or move on and become another dz's problem.

And if its just a matter of having your dive planned out and knowing its beyond his skill level, why not also be honest? BUT- make an effort to make an easier jump with him later. Someone had to do that for you, right?

[EricaH 0]

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If you don't want to jump with him because you feel he is dangerous, you should tell him./quote]
Sadly this is the only was some people will grasp that they keep messing up.

***If enough people tell him that, he'll either get the message and do something about it or move on and become another dz's problem.

You can only hope your friend'll stick around & learn something by getting a coach.

There is no can't. Only lack of knowledge or fear. Only you can fix your fear.

PMS #227 (just like the TV show)

[ryoder 1,384]

You forgot the option:

- Go grab my video helmet, 'cause this is gonna be good!

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[QuickDraw 0]

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The question is, how do you deal with it when he pops the question?

Spray him with mace.


...worked on me.

-- Hope you don't die. --

I'm fucking winning

[ACMESkydiver 0]

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OK, we've all been there.

...maybe not all of us...

I'm usually the one planning a solo and get asked to join.
But to answer your question Mike, it would be very easy for me in my own situation to tell that person that I don't feel that I am experienced enough to jump with them. I have done that in the past. (I don't need to disclose that I felt more experience was needed on my part to get away from them safely; it helps maintain someone else's ego whilest declining on my part.)

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[damion75 0]

Sounds like someone who needs some help rather than anything else.

I would go with the "sorry, this dive is planned out, but we'll go up later" approach and then do something really simple later to help them progress.

I hate to dampen people's enthusiasm even when they are crap... It has to be better to help bring them along right? But you don't want them screwing up your planned dive and putting everyone in danger.

***************

Not one shred of evidence supports the theory that life is serious - look at the platypus.

[crutch 0]

The difference is you are a woman, human nature (men thinking with the wrong head) will get you invited on more jumps than your male counterpart. Everyone can argue it but it is true.

Now, back to the question at hand, which is basically, who is going to step up to the plate and tell this guy he needs help! Can't tell you how many times I have been through this one. The best solution is the one Dave suggested, but someone needs to make sure they actually work with him. I have seen over the years how people get ostrichized after a couple of screw-ups, sometimes it is the person fault (too mouthy, no one wants to deal with it) or the person just really isn't that good and doesn't jump enough to resolve it. So make sure we as up jumpers work with some of the other jumpers, and be honest during the debreifs. Low time jumpers take heed and realize, sometimes up jumpers want to do jumps that are above your skill level and don't take it personal.

blue skies,

art

[ACMESkydiver 0]

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The difference is you are a woman, human nature (men thinking with the wrong head) will get you invited on more jumps than your male counterpart. Everyone can argue it but it is true.

NOT true, Crutch, and I can PROVE it...

You've never met me...but I am a particularly ugly woman, and no man would have any thoughts from any head other than the one firmly planted on his shoulders when inviting me on a jump!!

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[DJL 232]

Then maybe you have hot friends. Woman only know how to clean cave and cook dino-burger. Unga bunga.

"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher

[damion75 0]

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You've never met me...but I am a particularly ugly woman, and no man would have any thoughts from any head other than the one firmly planted on his shoulders when inviting me on a jump!!

I'm afraid that you are not going to get away with that one!! You have posted a couple of pics on here and everyone knows the truth...

Hottie!!

***************

Not one shred of evidence supports the theory that life is serious - look at the platypus.

[wrightskyguy 1]

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I have seen over the years how people get ostrichized after a couple of screw-ups,

*** Sorry to chime in so late, but I just noticed it. We don't generally "ostrichize" people at our DZ for any reason, it's not the feathers so much but, that long dangly neck can interfere significantly with the deployment sequence.

John Wright

World's most beloved skydiver

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[j0nes 0]

if the guy is just a lowtimer, then i usually don't mind because we've all been there.

but if the guy has 500+ jumps and still can't fly safely, forget it.

[ACMESkydiver 0]

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I have seen over the years how people get ostrichized after a couple of screw-ups,

*** Sorry to chime in so late, but I just noticed it. We don't generally "ostrichize" people at our DZ for any reason, it's not the feathers so much but, that long dangly neck can interfere significantly with the deployment sequence.

...you dig up an old thread to make a bird joke?

Ok, c'mon, what did you type in the 'search posts' box to find this thread... -Scary thing is, I even REMEMBER this thread!

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

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[Amazon 7]

you need to jump more

[tsisson 0]

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How about:

"Sorry bro, we've got this one all planed out just right, how about we go do one 2 loads from now..."

Then you have a chance to teach this guy, maybe even help him overcome his problems.

Bingo...we have a winner! Great advice...

[happythoughts 0]

I think the last time that someone tried to kill you, you asked me to talk to them first. Remember the 2-way video ?

At Rantoul, a guy claimed to have 2,000 jumps. Apparently, they weren't with other people.

After his second f-up, I called him aside and politely told him that if he was going to go low, to let go and not funnel everything.

I told that people would be angry at him if it continued to mess up their skydives. I was telling him as a concerned friend.

On the next jump, he went low right out of the door, but he didn't hold on. The rest of us had an excellent skydive.

[karenmeal 0]

I explain to the person my love for freefly two-ways. Sometimes people ask if they can just lurk outside.. but then I explain to them exactly why I feel that is less than safe.

If the person in question doesn't have anyone suitable to jump with (that can dodge them and teach them some stuff) then I will suggest some things that they can do on a solo to work on their freefly skills. Usually they are somewhat surprised about my creative suggestions regarding a solo freefly.

We don't have lots of experienced freeflyers at my DZ which is why I almost always would rather do a two way. The folks at the DZ understand that I would rather focus on some specific skill development and generally respect that.

-Karen

"Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham

[skydiverbry 0]

I'd have to be honest as to why i wouldn'nt. Then take him aside,explain further then I would offer to jump with him and see if we could work on what I might think his faults may be. Diplomacey,kindness,and education is what I learned and what I have always tried to give bac. Remember we are all family!!! Bryan

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Growing old is mandatory.Growing up is optional!!

D.S.#13(Dudeist Skdiver)