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skymama

What do women do to appear unapproachable?

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Am I the only one that thinks that "approaching" a woman with anything more than friendly intentions based solely on looks IS sort of creepy? I mean, how the hell do you know you're interested based only on the way she looks?

I guess it makes sense if all you're looking for is sex, but I have yet to see a successful relationship result from a random "approach."

Not to mention the fact that talking to people becomes a hell of a lot easier when you have no expectations and you both know it.

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Not a regular poster here, but this caught my eye...
I see this as kind of true. My best friend is a guy, we are always out together. When out I never am approached and either is he. One night, yes booze was involved, I asked this cute guy if he thought I was good looking. When he said yes I asked why he did not bother to talk to me. He said it was because he thought I was "with" my guy friend. I was making myself unapproachable, but when I made the move we had a great time.

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I guess it makes sense if all you're looking for is sex, but I have yet to see a successful relationship result from a random "approach."

Well let me be the first to introduce you to one.
Next month my wife an I will have been together 19 years, and I approached her randomly.
Me and a mate were out, and there was seating near her (i thought, hey she's cute ) I walked up said hi how you doin, do you mind if I sit here, continued talking to her, and 19 years later we are still talking:)
You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

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I guess it makes sense if all you're looking for is sex, but I have yet to see a successful relationship result from a random "approach."



Huh? People are always strangers until someone makes the first attempt at speaking to the other.
She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

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Yeah, I knew when I put that on the internet for the whole world to see, someone would chime in with their story. But the fact still remains that it's a fairly rare occurence, at least from what I've seen.


So how is it that you think most people meet?
in a small towm where everyone knows everyone it may be different.
But in big cities, where everyone is a stranger that's often how people meet.
You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

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My point was it's not always a random approach. People meet through friends, at work, at school, even the internet, and are often friends for a period of time before beginning a relationship. It's not always, "See that hot chick over there? I'm going to go talk to her."

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My point was it's not always a random approach. People meet through friends, at work, at school, even the internet, and are often friends for a period of time before beginning a relationship. It's not always, "See that hot chick over there? I'm going to go talk to her."


Well that's stating the bleedng obvious, it not always ANYTHING, but many many relationships are initiated via random contact
You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

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I've found that if you don't come across as creepy or a jerk - 99% of Women will be happy to have you come over and just start talking. You don't even need a stupid ice-breaker or pickup line! "Hi!" works fine for me.



Does this change with age? When I was in college and tried to start up conversations with girls, about 90% of them were very cold to me. I eventually gave up. It still seems weird to just strike up a conversation with a random person.



Did you ever stop to think that maybe it is just you?

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I've found that if you don't come across as creepy or a jerk - 99% of Women will be happy to have you come over and just start talking. You don't even need a stupid ice-breaker or pickup line! "Hi!" works fine for me.



Does this change with age? When I was in college and tried to start up conversations with girls, about 90% of them were very cold to me. I eventually gave up. It still seems weird to just strike up a conversation with a random person.



Did you ever stop to think that maybe it is just you?

It's his avatar i told him this before, if he is creppy like his avatar he has very little chance:D:D
You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

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I guess it makes sense if all you're looking for is sex, but I have yet to see a successful relationship result from a random "approach."

Well let me be the first to introduce you to one.
Next month my wife an I will have been together 19 years, and I approached her randomly.
Me and a mate were out, and there was seating near her (i thought, hey she's cute ) I walked up said hi how you doin, do you mind if I sit here, continued talking to her, and 19 years later we are still talking:)



15 years here Squeak...and SHE approached ME! :o:$:)B|










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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I had read this somewhere and found this to be true many times. If you catch someone's eye and they look away, BUT then they take another glance back -you might be a winner! If they look away and don't look back, or turn away from you, they are not interested. If someone turns their back to you, or looks down at the ground as you are walking over, they probably are thinking oh no, please don't come over here. Body language is very key in many ways. And a lot can be read in the eyes...

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but I have yet to see a successful relationship result from a random "approach."
reply]

And let me be the second to introduce you to another one. I randomly approached/hit on my girlfriend in a bar 3 years ago based completely on the fact that she was a hottie and we have been together ever since.

We joke that we are a one night stand gone horribly wrong :)

As a general rule, the better it felt when you said it, the more trouble it's going to get you into.

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My point was it's not always a random approach. People meet through friends, at work, at school, even the internet, and are often friends for a period of time before beginning a relationship. It's not always, "See that hot chick over there? I'm going to go talk to her."


Well that's stating the bleedng obvious, it not always ANYTHING, but many many relationships are initiated via random contact



Yes, but my response was to skymama, who said "People are always strangers until someone makes the first attempt at speaking to the other," which is not necessarily true.

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To the PM person... women are individual creatures just like guys are... please don't lump all of us into one group. Just because some women are silly ninnies doesn't mean we all are. Treat us all on a case by case basis please.
***

What a wonderful thought. Now, I am happily married and not looking, but in days gone by, too many times, women in general are rude to men who approach them. In their mind "everything is a pick up line" and it doesn't matter what you say, they treat you like you are just trying for the pick up and nothing else. You know, there are so many situations where genuine effort is being made on the part of a guy, just to be shot down.

I am lucky to have been married to the same wonderful woman for the past 17 years and looking forward to 17 more;). I am also glad that I am not a part of the dating world. I am not lumping, however, there are so few women who are approachable until a lot of guys just get tired of the rejection, embarrassment, and the pain of having to go through it all. Maybe if you want to be approachable and want men to see that or look at it as a case by case basis, put a sign around your neck that says, "Hey, I won't bite!" Other than that, it is really hard to distinguish.:)

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It's his avatar i told him this before, if he is creppy like his avatar he has very little chance



I can vouch for him not being creepy, just a little shy. I'd have killed for someone like him to have approached me back in my younger and single days.

Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda

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Maybe if you want to be approachable and want men to see that or look at it as a case by case basis, put a sign around your neck that says, "Hey, I won't bite!" Other than that, it is really hard to distinguish.



Your experience is just because women are just as stupid as guys sometimes when it comes to lumping everybody in the same gender together. I can't count the number of times my husband told me that he's 'not other guys' before I finally got it through my head not to mass generalize.

Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda

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There used to be talk of a beeper like device that you could point in someone's direction if you liked them which would alert their device if they carried one and if there was a mutual attraction, both devices would start to beep. That would solve a lot of problems. :)

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But seriously, folks...
BelskyBlueEyes got my vote when she said:

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I had read this somewhere and found this to be true many times. If you catch someone's eye and they look away, BUT then they take another glance back -you might be a winner! If they look away and don't look back, or turn away from you, they are not interested. If someone turns their back to you, or looks down at the ground as you are walking over, they probably are thinking oh no, please don't come over here. Body language is very key in many ways. And a lot can be read in the eyes...


My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

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I once had a guy tell me this.... Not that I wasn't approachable, but more on the lines that he wouldn't approach me because he felt that I was already taken. I asked how he could make that assessment.... he said it was the way I carried myself - - He said that out of all the girls I was not panning the room with that desperate look of "I need a guy." Ironically I was single at the time.... so I was really shocked to hear that I carried myself that way.

I'm actually really bad at meeting men, I've often ran in the opposite direction. After that night, I made more of a conscious effort of a polite smile and eye contact.... it does make a difference.

g
"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

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Personally, I think this is a troll. Check out the profile - there's nothing in it.

Besides, you've GOT to be kidding me!

How can any woman complain about not getting attention (unless she looks like a Budweiser Clydesdale, of course)?

Men do the courting, women do the rejecting - facts of life.

mh
.
"The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat."

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