GQ_jumper 4 #26 February 22, 2008 this case the guy was just upset cause he wasn't getting his own way. There was nobody else around, nobody was in danger, and the girl involved is a very passive kinda person. Quote Look at the way the guy reacted to what he did, like was mentioned before, if he tried to justify his actions he may very well do it again, if he has a look in his eyes like he feels 2 feet tall than he's more than learned the error of his ways. It may however be a good time to set up some boundries when it comes to drinking.History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid. --Dwight D. Eisenhower Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites margo81 0 #27 February 22, 2008 maybe even alcohol made them start the argument? next time he gets stupidly drunk,he will hit her again since he 'saw' he could get away with it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iluvtofly 0 #28 February 22, 2008 QuoteIn this case the guy was just upset cause he wasn't getting his own way. There was nobody else around, nobody was in danger, and the girl involved is a very passive kinda person. That right there raises a huge flag to me. I don't feel that it is right to hit a girl. I also don't feel it's right for a girl to hit a guy. It's just unacceptable. On a side note....the only time it's alright to hit someone is if it's during sex and that's ONLY IF the person is into it and so long as it's not out of rage. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites NWFlyer 2 #29 February 22, 2008 Quote this case the guy was just upset cause he wasn't getting his own way. There was nobody else around, nobody was in danger, and the girl involved is a very passive kinda person. Quote Look at the way the guy reacted to what he did, like was mentioned before, if he tried to justify his actions he may very well do it again, if he has a look in his eyes like he feels 2 feet tall than he's more than learned the error of his ways. It may however be a good time to set up some boundries when it comes to drinking. No, now is the time for her to get the hell out. If she's already passive, and he's already making excuses for his behavior ("it's because I was drunk"), this could go in a very bad direction very quickly. I'd hate to look at her after months or years of abuse and wonder "Why didn't she leave?" Maybe it's not the beginning of a classic abuse cycle. Sure sounds like it, though."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jtval 0 #30 February 22, 2008 Quote only time it's alright to hit someone is if it's during sex and that's ONLY IF the person is into it and so long as it's not out of rage. Go on...My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iamsam 0 #31 February 22, 2008 Quote alcohol, anger management there you have it I would agree with what seems the general consensus in this thread, its never acceptable, and my instinct is to say it's a slippery slope and if you fail to draw the line the first time where have you left yourself. But I have seen people work through this and relationships survive and be stronger for it, so whatever works for sunshine: incidents are never isolated, everything is connected. deep but not heavy but what do I know Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites GQ_jumper 4 #32 February 22, 2008 QuoteQuote this case the guy was just upset cause he wasn't getting his own way. There was nobody else around, nobody was in danger, and the girl involved is a very passive kinda person. Quote Look at the way the guy reacted to what he did, like was mentioned before, if he tried to justify his actions he may very well do it again, if he has a look in his eyes like he feels 2 feet tall than he's more than learned the error of his ways. It may however be a good time to set up some boundries when it comes to drinking. No, now is the time for her to get the hell out. If she's already passive, and he's already making excuses for his behavior ("it's because I was drunk"), this could go in a very bad direction very quickly. I'd hate to look at her after months or years of abuse and wonder "Why didn't she leave?" Maybe it's not the beginning of a classic abuse cycle. Sure sounds like it, though. I don't recall ever hearing that he is using being drunk as an excuse, I went back and looked at the original post to confirm, it IS a detail of the situation but it has not been mentioned that the guy said that's why he did it. Give him time to himself definitely, let him spend time hating himself for what he did, but he's only human, if he made a stupid mistake that only proves he human. If that's all it was, a mistake than people can learn and move on, life is a learning experience and someone willing to work through it with them will only make them stronger. However I do agree that if the guy is a hot-head turn tail and run, if he loses his temper a lot and this time it just happened to make him snap than he's a risk factor. The big thing is this is the wrong place to ask this kind of advice because few if any people will act rationally, everyone will go with the emotional reaction and scream to feed him to the wolves and run away. People that know both parties and are mature enough to give you an un-biased opinion are the way to go here.History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid. --Dwight D. Eisenhower Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites masterrig 1 #33 February 22, 2008 Hitting a woman is never acceptable and being drunk is no excuse. He hits her once... it only escalates and some day she could very well wind-up dead. Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites GQ_jumper 4 #34 February 22, 2008 He hits her once... it only escalates and some day she could very well wind-up dead. Quote Attitudes like this only make it harder for a guy who did something like this to learn from it, is it acceptable? No. Does it automatically mean he is in a downward spiral towards being a serial killer? NoHistory does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid. --Dwight D. Eisenhower Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites chinagirl 0 #35 February 22, 2008 QuoteHitting a woman is never acceptable and being drunk is no excuse. He hits her once... it only escalates and some day she could very well wind-up dead. Chuck That's a bit extreme dontcha think? I've been in an abusive relationship before, he hit me ONCE. Trust me, he NEVER made that same mistake again. It really does depend on the situation...~Built for Abuse www.skydivethefarm.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iluvtofly 0 #36 February 22, 2008 QuoteThat's a bit extreme dontcha think? I've been in an abusive relationship before, he hit me ONCE. Trust me, he NEVER made that same mistake again. It really does depend on the situation... That's great that you were able to get away. However, there are many women out there who aren't nearly as strong as you are. There are thousands of women out there getting beaten who do nothing about it. And unfortunately many of them end up getting killed due to it. It may sound extreme but unfortuantly it's a fact of some peoples life. (Why do i see this thread going to SC soon?) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites sunshine 2 #37 February 22, 2008 Quote (Why do i see this thread going to SC soon?) NOOOOO. We're still having a civil discussion. I don't wanna go to SC. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iluvtofly 0 #38 February 22, 2008 I don't want it to go to SC either. I just see it being a topic that'll get moved there unfortunately. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites futuredivot 0 #39 February 22, 2008 When my first wife and I were dating, she smacked my face-I asked her not to, she did it again-I told her not to, she did it again. I bent her over my knee and spanked her. I told her that if she acted like a child, I'd treat her as one. Her mom was in the room and agreed with me.....I was wrong, and luckily, later on, I had the will to leave before I hit her again (10 years later) but if I had stayed, it would have eventually happened. Once that line is crossed......You are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iluvtofly 0 #40 February 22, 2008 Fortunately you were one of the few men (in this type of situation) who realized they were wrong. (Grant it your situation is slightly different.) Unfortuantely most of the men out there who do hit their SO don't think that what they're doing is wrong. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites chinagirl 0 #41 February 22, 2008 QuoteQuoteThat's a bit extreme dontcha think? I've been in an abusive relationship before, he hit me ONCE. Trust me, he NEVER made that same mistake again. It really does depend on the situation... That's great that you were able to get away. However, there are many women out there who aren't nearly as strong as you are. There are thousands of women out there getting beaten who do nothing about it. And unfortunately many of them end up getting killed due to it. It may sound extreme but unfortuantly it's a fact of some peoples life. (Why do i see this thread going to SC soon?) Get away? We're still together after 16 years. I understand there are women out there getting beaten up and doing nothing about it. I lived it...every day of my childhood. All I'm saying is, you have to assess the situation in its own. It shouldn't be generalized.~Built for Abuse www.skydivethefarm.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iluvtofly 0 #42 February 22, 2008 Sorry....I took the "he never made that mistake again" as you saying you left him. My fault for misreading it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites futuredivot 0 #43 February 22, 2008 That was sort of my point. That was 1986 or 87 and I still feel like a sleaze. If I had slapped or punched, I'd be suicidal. Let me tell you, my wife now wouldn't put up with that crapYou are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites sunshine 2 #44 February 22, 2008 I really need to meet the trophy wife. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites futuredivot 0 #45 February 22, 2008 QuoteI really need to meet the trophy wife. Bar none, the greatest girl alive-not perfect, but perfect for meYou are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #46 February 22, 2008 The rational person. Almost all situations have one, or murder would be commonplace because all situations would continue to escalate. Therefore, be the person that puts the brakes on situations before they get to that level. Escalation can be verbal or physical. Stop it early. If a situation ever gets to violence, then people need to get out of the situation. Leave. Neither sex has the right to strike the other. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Amazon 7 #47 February 22, 2008 Quote Ok, so i was talking to someone about this earlier today and we totally disagree. If a guy hits a girl cause he was mad/frustrated at her, but he was incredibly drunk at the time, is it possible to be an isolated incident and will never happen again? Or should it be considered a "he hit once, he'll hit again" kinda thing? Consider it something that will happen EVERY time he gets drunk.. a Mean drunk will always be a mean drunk... to you and any children you will have... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites masterrig 1 #48 February 22, 2008 QuoteHe hits her once... it only escalates and some day she could very well wind-up dead. Quote Attitudes like this only make it harder for a guy who did something like this to learn from it, is it acceptable? No. Does it automatically mean he is in a downward spiral towards being a serial killer? No I never said anything about his becoming a serial killer. It's just a fact that very often this type of behavior escalates to a deadly level. The first time a guy smacks a girl, she should get the hell out of the situation. Why wait around to see what happens? Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jtval 0 #49 February 22, 2008 Quote Fortunately you were one of the few men (in this type of situation) who realized they were wrong. (Grant it your situation is slightly different.) Unfortuantely most of the men out there who do hit their SO don't think that what they're doing is wrong. Why was he wrong? He bent her over his knee and spanked her. I don't know the MOOD of the spanking but it seems as if he was well tempered and didn't over react. Hell, her mom agreed. SHE was wrong. He asked 3 times to stop. The only reason he was wrong is because he stayed.My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jtval 0 #50 February 22, 2008 Quote[Consider it something that will happen EVERY time he gets drunk.. I agree. But if he has anger issues, it may not be isolated to a drunken mistake. Something Sunshine said earlier bothered me. He acted that way because he wasnt getting his way. I don't intend to say this wil happen but in an extreme case it may lead to rape. what happens if he doesnt get HIS way?My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next Page 2 of 8 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. 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margo81 0 #27 February 22, 2008 maybe even alcohol made them start the argument? next time he gets stupidly drunk,he will hit her again since he 'saw' he could get away with it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvtofly 0 #28 February 22, 2008 QuoteIn this case the guy was just upset cause he wasn't getting his own way. There was nobody else around, nobody was in danger, and the girl involved is a very passive kinda person. That right there raises a huge flag to me. I don't feel that it is right to hit a girl. I also don't feel it's right for a girl to hit a guy. It's just unacceptable. On a side note....the only time it's alright to hit someone is if it's during sex and that's ONLY IF the person is into it and so long as it's not out of rage. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #29 February 22, 2008 Quote this case the guy was just upset cause he wasn't getting his own way. There was nobody else around, nobody was in danger, and the girl involved is a very passive kinda person. Quote Look at the way the guy reacted to what he did, like was mentioned before, if he tried to justify his actions he may very well do it again, if he has a look in his eyes like he feels 2 feet tall than he's more than learned the error of his ways. It may however be a good time to set up some boundries when it comes to drinking. No, now is the time for her to get the hell out. If she's already passive, and he's already making excuses for his behavior ("it's because I was drunk"), this could go in a very bad direction very quickly. I'd hate to look at her after months or years of abuse and wonder "Why didn't she leave?" Maybe it's not the beginning of a classic abuse cycle. Sure sounds like it, though."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jtval 0 #30 February 22, 2008 Quote only time it's alright to hit someone is if it's during sex and that's ONLY IF the person is into it and so long as it's not out of rage. Go on...My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iamsam 0 #31 February 22, 2008 Quote alcohol, anger management there you have it I would agree with what seems the general consensus in this thread, its never acceptable, and my instinct is to say it's a slippery slope and if you fail to draw the line the first time where have you left yourself. But I have seen people work through this and relationships survive and be stronger for it, so whatever works for sunshine: incidents are never isolated, everything is connected. deep but not heavy but what do I know Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites GQ_jumper 4 #32 February 22, 2008 QuoteQuote this case the guy was just upset cause he wasn't getting his own way. There was nobody else around, nobody was in danger, and the girl involved is a very passive kinda person. Quote Look at the way the guy reacted to what he did, like was mentioned before, if he tried to justify his actions he may very well do it again, if he has a look in his eyes like he feels 2 feet tall than he's more than learned the error of his ways. It may however be a good time to set up some boundries when it comes to drinking. No, now is the time for her to get the hell out. If she's already passive, and he's already making excuses for his behavior ("it's because I was drunk"), this could go in a very bad direction very quickly. I'd hate to look at her after months or years of abuse and wonder "Why didn't she leave?" Maybe it's not the beginning of a classic abuse cycle. Sure sounds like it, though. I don't recall ever hearing that he is using being drunk as an excuse, I went back and looked at the original post to confirm, it IS a detail of the situation but it has not been mentioned that the guy said that's why he did it. Give him time to himself definitely, let him spend time hating himself for what he did, but he's only human, if he made a stupid mistake that only proves he human. If that's all it was, a mistake than people can learn and move on, life is a learning experience and someone willing to work through it with them will only make them stronger. However I do agree that if the guy is a hot-head turn tail and run, if he loses his temper a lot and this time it just happened to make him snap than he's a risk factor. The big thing is this is the wrong place to ask this kind of advice because few if any people will act rationally, everyone will go with the emotional reaction and scream to feed him to the wolves and run away. People that know both parties and are mature enough to give you an un-biased opinion are the way to go here.History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid. --Dwight D. Eisenhower Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites masterrig 1 #33 February 22, 2008 Hitting a woman is never acceptable and being drunk is no excuse. He hits her once... it only escalates and some day she could very well wind-up dead. Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites GQ_jumper 4 #34 February 22, 2008 He hits her once... it only escalates and some day she could very well wind-up dead. Quote Attitudes like this only make it harder for a guy who did something like this to learn from it, is it acceptable? No. Does it automatically mean he is in a downward spiral towards being a serial killer? NoHistory does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid. --Dwight D. Eisenhower Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites chinagirl 0 #35 February 22, 2008 QuoteHitting a woman is never acceptable and being drunk is no excuse. He hits her once... it only escalates and some day she could very well wind-up dead. Chuck That's a bit extreme dontcha think? I've been in an abusive relationship before, he hit me ONCE. Trust me, he NEVER made that same mistake again. It really does depend on the situation...~Built for Abuse www.skydivethefarm.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iluvtofly 0 #36 February 22, 2008 QuoteThat's a bit extreme dontcha think? I've been in an abusive relationship before, he hit me ONCE. Trust me, he NEVER made that same mistake again. It really does depend on the situation... That's great that you were able to get away. However, there are many women out there who aren't nearly as strong as you are. There are thousands of women out there getting beaten who do nothing about it. And unfortunately many of them end up getting killed due to it. It may sound extreme but unfortuantly it's a fact of some peoples life. (Why do i see this thread going to SC soon?) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites sunshine 2 #37 February 22, 2008 Quote (Why do i see this thread going to SC soon?) NOOOOO. We're still having a civil discussion. I don't wanna go to SC. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iluvtofly 0 #38 February 22, 2008 I don't want it to go to SC either. I just see it being a topic that'll get moved there unfortunately. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites futuredivot 0 #39 February 22, 2008 When my first wife and I were dating, she smacked my face-I asked her not to, she did it again-I told her not to, she did it again. I bent her over my knee and spanked her. I told her that if she acted like a child, I'd treat her as one. Her mom was in the room and agreed with me.....I was wrong, and luckily, later on, I had the will to leave before I hit her again (10 years later) but if I had stayed, it would have eventually happened. Once that line is crossed......You are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iluvtofly 0 #40 February 22, 2008 Fortunately you were one of the few men (in this type of situation) who realized they were wrong. (Grant it your situation is slightly different.) Unfortuantely most of the men out there who do hit their SO don't think that what they're doing is wrong. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites chinagirl 0 #41 February 22, 2008 QuoteQuoteThat's a bit extreme dontcha think? I've been in an abusive relationship before, he hit me ONCE. Trust me, he NEVER made that same mistake again. It really does depend on the situation... That's great that you were able to get away. However, there are many women out there who aren't nearly as strong as you are. There are thousands of women out there getting beaten who do nothing about it. And unfortunately many of them end up getting killed due to it. It may sound extreme but unfortuantly it's a fact of some peoples life. (Why do i see this thread going to SC soon?) Get away? We're still together after 16 years. I understand there are women out there getting beaten up and doing nothing about it. I lived it...every day of my childhood. All I'm saying is, you have to assess the situation in its own. It shouldn't be generalized.~Built for Abuse www.skydivethefarm.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iluvtofly 0 #42 February 22, 2008 Sorry....I took the "he never made that mistake again" as you saying you left him. My fault for misreading it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites futuredivot 0 #43 February 22, 2008 That was sort of my point. That was 1986 or 87 and I still feel like a sleaze. If I had slapped or punched, I'd be suicidal. Let me tell you, my wife now wouldn't put up with that crapYou are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites sunshine 2 #44 February 22, 2008 I really need to meet the trophy wife. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites futuredivot 0 #45 February 22, 2008 QuoteI really need to meet the trophy wife. Bar none, the greatest girl alive-not perfect, but perfect for meYou are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #46 February 22, 2008 The rational person. Almost all situations have one, or murder would be commonplace because all situations would continue to escalate. Therefore, be the person that puts the brakes on situations before they get to that level. Escalation can be verbal or physical. Stop it early. If a situation ever gets to violence, then people need to get out of the situation. Leave. Neither sex has the right to strike the other. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Amazon 7 #47 February 22, 2008 Quote Ok, so i was talking to someone about this earlier today and we totally disagree. If a guy hits a girl cause he was mad/frustrated at her, but he was incredibly drunk at the time, is it possible to be an isolated incident and will never happen again? Or should it be considered a "he hit once, he'll hit again" kinda thing? Consider it something that will happen EVERY time he gets drunk.. a Mean drunk will always be a mean drunk... to you and any children you will have... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites masterrig 1 #48 February 22, 2008 QuoteHe hits her once... it only escalates and some day she could very well wind-up dead. Quote Attitudes like this only make it harder for a guy who did something like this to learn from it, is it acceptable? No. Does it automatically mean he is in a downward spiral towards being a serial killer? No I never said anything about his becoming a serial killer. It's just a fact that very often this type of behavior escalates to a deadly level. The first time a guy smacks a girl, she should get the hell out of the situation. Why wait around to see what happens? Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jtval 0 #49 February 22, 2008 Quote Fortunately you were one of the few men (in this type of situation) who realized they were wrong. (Grant it your situation is slightly different.) Unfortuantely most of the men out there who do hit their SO don't think that what they're doing is wrong. Why was he wrong? He bent her over his knee and spanked her. I don't know the MOOD of the spanking but it seems as if he was well tempered and didn't over react. Hell, her mom agreed. SHE was wrong. He asked 3 times to stop. The only reason he was wrong is because he stayed.My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jtval 0 #50 February 22, 2008 Quote[Consider it something that will happen EVERY time he gets drunk.. I agree. But if he has anger issues, it may not be isolated to a drunken mistake. Something Sunshine said earlier bothered me. He acted that way because he wasnt getting his way. I don't intend to say this wil happen but in an extreme case it may lead to rape. what happens if he doesnt get HIS way?My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next Page 2 of 8 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0 Go To Topic Listing
jtval 0 #30 February 22, 2008 Quote only time it's alright to hit someone is if it's during sex and that's ONLY IF the person is into it and so long as it's not out of rage. Go on...My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iamsam 0 #31 February 22, 2008 Quote alcohol, anger management there you have it I would agree with what seems the general consensus in this thread, its never acceptable, and my instinct is to say it's a slippery slope and if you fail to draw the line the first time where have you left yourself. But I have seen people work through this and relationships survive and be stronger for it, so whatever works for sunshine: incidents are never isolated, everything is connected. deep but not heavy but what do I know Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GQ_jumper 4 #32 February 22, 2008 QuoteQuote this case the guy was just upset cause he wasn't getting his own way. There was nobody else around, nobody was in danger, and the girl involved is a very passive kinda person. Quote Look at the way the guy reacted to what he did, like was mentioned before, if he tried to justify his actions he may very well do it again, if he has a look in his eyes like he feels 2 feet tall than he's more than learned the error of his ways. It may however be a good time to set up some boundries when it comes to drinking. No, now is the time for her to get the hell out. If she's already passive, and he's already making excuses for his behavior ("it's because I was drunk"), this could go in a very bad direction very quickly. I'd hate to look at her after months or years of abuse and wonder "Why didn't she leave?" Maybe it's not the beginning of a classic abuse cycle. Sure sounds like it, though. I don't recall ever hearing that he is using being drunk as an excuse, I went back and looked at the original post to confirm, it IS a detail of the situation but it has not been mentioned that the guy said that's why he did it. Give him time to himself definitely, let him spend time hating himself for what he did, but he's only human, if he made a stupid mistake that only proves he human. If that's all it was, a mistake than people can learn and move on, life is a learning experience and someone willing to work through it with them will only make them stronger. However I do agree that if the guy is a hot-head turn tail and run, if he loses his temper a lot and this time it just happened to make him snap than he's a risk factor. The big thing is this is the wrong place to ask this kind of advice because few if any people will act rationally, everyone will go with the emotional reaction and scream to feed him to the wolves and run away. People that know both parties and are mature enough to give you an un-biased opinion are the way to go here.History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid. --Dwight D. Eisenhower Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites masterrig 1 #33 February 22, 2008 Hitting a woman is never acceptable and being drunk is no excuse. He hits her once... it only escalates and some day she could very well wind-up dead. Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites GQ_jumper 4 #34 February 22, 2008 He hits her once... it only escalates and some day she could very well wind-up dead. Quote Attitudes like this only make it harder for a guy who did something like this to learn from it, is it acceptable? No. Does it automatically mean he is in a downward spiral towards being a serial killer? NoHistory does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid. --Dwight D. Eisenhower Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites chinagirl 0 #35 February 22, 2008 QuoteHitting a woman is never acceptable and being drunk is no excuse. He hits her once... it only escalates and some day she could very well wind-up dead. Chuck That's a bit extreme dontcha think? I've been in an abusive relationship before, he hit me ONCE. Trust me, he NEVER made that same mistake again. It really does depend on the situation...~Built for Abuse www.skydivethefarm.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iluvtofly 0 #36 February 22, 2008 QuoteThat's a bit extreme dontcha think? I've been in an abusive relationship before, he hit me ONCE. Trust me, he NEVER made that same mistake again. It really does depend on the situation... That's great that you were able to get away. However, there are many women out there who aren't nearly as strong as you are. There are thousands of women out there getting beaten who do nothing about it. And unfortunately many of them end up getting killed due to it. It may sound extreme but unfortuantly it's a fact of some peoples life. (Why do i see this thread going to SC soon?) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites sunshine 2 #37 February 22, 2008 Quote (Why do i see this thread going to SC soon?) NOOOOO. We're still having a civil discussion. I don't wanna go to SC. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iluvtofly 0 #38 February 22, 2008 I don't want it to go to SC either. I just see it being a topic that'll get moved there unfortunately. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites futuredivot 0 #39 February 22, 2008 When my first wife and I were dating, she smacked my face-I asked her not to, she did it again-I told her not to, she did it again. I bent her over my knee and spanked her. I told her that if she acted like a child, I'd treat her as one. Her mom was in the room and agreed with me.....I was wrong, and luckily, later on, I had the will to leave before I hit her again (10 years later) but if I had stayed, it would have eventually happened. Once that line is crossed......You are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iluvtofly 0 #40 February 22, 2008 Fortunately you were one of the few men (in this type of situation) who realized they were wrong. (Grant it your situation is slightly different.) Unfortuantely most of the men out there who do hit their SO don't think that what they're doing is wrong. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites chinagirl 0 #41 February 22, 2008 QuoteQuoteThat's a bit extreme dontcha think? I've been in an abusive relationship before, he hit me ONCE. Trust me, he NEVER made that same mistake again. It really does depend on the situation... That's great that you were able to get away. However, there are many women out there who aren't nearly as strong as you are. There are thousands of women out there getting beaten who do nothing about it. And unfortunately many of them end up getting killed due to it. It may sound extreme but unfortuantly it's a fact of some peoples life. (Why do i see this thread going to SC soon?) Get away? We're still together after 16 years. I understand there are women out there getting beaten up and doing nothing about it. I lived it...every day of my childhood. All I'm saying is, you have to assess the situation in its own. It shouldn't be generalized.~Built for Abuse www.skydivethefarm.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iluvtofly 0 #42 February 22, 2008 Sorry....I took the "he never made that mistake again" as you saying you left him. My fault for misreading it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites futuredivot 0 #43 February 22, 2008 That was sort of my point. That was 1986 or 87 and I still feel like a sleaze. If I had slapped or punched, I'd be suicidal. Let me tell you, my wife now wouldn't put up with that crapYou are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites sunshine 2 #44 February 22, 2008 I really need to meet the trophy wife. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites futuredivot 0 #45 February 22, 2008 QuoteI really need to meet the trophy wife. Bar none, the greatest girl alive-not perfect, but perfect for meYou are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #46 February 22, 2008 The rational person. Almost all situations have one, or murder would be commonplace because all situations would continue to escalate. Therefore, be the person that puts the brakes on situations before they get to that level. Escalation can be verbal or physical. Stop it early. If a situation ever gets to violence, then people need to get out of the situation. Leave. Neither sex has the right to strike the other. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Amazon 7 #47 February 22, 2008 Quote Ok, so i was talking to someone about this earlier today and we totally disagree. If a guy hits a girl cause he was mad/frustrated at her, but he was incredibly drunk at the time, is it possible to be an isolated incident and will never happen again? Or should it be considered a "he hit once, he'll hit again" kinda thing? Consider it something that will happen EVERY time he gets drunk.. a Mean drunk will always be a mean drunk... to you and any children you will have... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites masterrig 1 #48 February 22, 2008 QuoteHe hits her once... it only escalates and some day she could very well wind-up dead. Quote Attitudes like this only make it harder for a guy who did something like this to learn from it, is it acceptable? No. Does it automatically mean he is in a downward spiral towards being a serial killer? No I never said anything about his becoming a serial killer. It's just a fact that very often this type of behavior escalates to a deadly level. The first time a guy smacks a girl, she should get the hell out of the situation. Why wait around to see what happens? Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jtval 0 #49 February 22, 2008 Quote Fortunately you were one of the few men (in this type of situation) who realized they were wrong. (Grant it your situation is slightly different.) Unfortuantely most of the men out there who do hit their SO don't think that what they're doing is wrong. Why was he wrong? He bent her over his knee and spanked her. I don't know the MOOD of the spanking but it seems as if he was well tempered and didn't over react. Hell, her mom agreed. SHE was wrong. He asked 3 times to stop. The only reason he was wrong is because he stayed.My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jtval 0 #50 February 22, 2008 Quote[Consider it something that will happen EVERY time he gets drunk.. I agree. But if he has anger issues, it may not be isolated to a drunken mistake. Something Sunshine said earlier bothered me. He acted that way because he wasnt getting his way. I don't intend to say this wil happen but in an extreme case it may lead to rape. what happens if he doesnt get HIS way?My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next Page 2 of 8 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. 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masterrig 1 #33 February 22, 2008 Hitting a woman is never acceptable and being drunk is no excuse. He hits her once... it only escalates and some day she could very well wind-up dead. Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GQ_jumper 4 #34 February 22, 2008 He hits her once... it only escalates and some day she could very well wind-up dead. Quote Attitudes like this only make it harder for a guy who did something like this to learn from it, is it acceptable? No. Does it automatically mean he is in a downward spiral towards being a serial killer? NoHistory does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid. --Dwight D. Eisenhower Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites chinagirl 0 #35 February 22, 2008 QuoteHitting a woman is never acceptable and being drunk is no excuse. He hits her once... it only escalates and some day she could very well wind-up dead. Chuck That's a bit extreme dontcha think? I've been in an abusive relationship before, he hit me ONCE. Trust me, he NEVER made that same mistake again. It really does depend on the situation...~Built for Abuse www.skydivethefarm.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iluvtofly 0 #36 February 22, 2008 QuoteThat's a bit extreme dontcha think? I've been in an abusive relationship before, he hit me ONCE. Trust me, he NEVER made that same mistake again. It really does depend on the situation... That's great that you were able to get away. However, there are many women out there who aren't nearly as strong as you are. There are thousands of women out there getting beaten who do nothing about it. And unfortunately many of them end up getting killed due to it. It may sound extreme but unfortuantly it's a fact of some peoples life. (Why do i see this thread going to SC soon?) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites sunshine 2 #37 February 22, 2008 Quote (Why do i see this thread going to SC soon?) NOOOOO. We're still having a civil discussion. I don't wanna go to SC. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iluvtofly 0 #38 February 22, 2008 I don't want it to go to SC either. I just see it being a topic that'll get moved there unfortunately. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites futuredivot 0 #39 February 22, 2008 When my first wife and I were dating, she smacked my face-I asked her not to, she did it again-I told her not to, she did it again. I bent her over my knee and spanked her. I told her that if she acted like a child, I'd treat her as one. Her mom was in the room and agreed with me.....I was wrong, and luckily, later on, I had the will to leave before I hit her again (10 years later) but if I had stayed, it would have eventually happened. Once that line is crossed......You are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iluvtofly 0 #40 February 22, 2008 Fortunately you were one of the few men (in this type of situation) who realized they were wrong. (Grant it your situation is slightly different.) Unfortuantely most of the men out there who do hit their SO don't think that what they're doing is wrong. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites chinagirl 0 #41 February 22, 2008 QuoteQuoteThat's a bit extreme dontcha think? I've been in an abusive relationship before, he hit me ONCE. Trust me, he NEVER made that same mistake again. It really does depend on the situation... That's great that you were able to get away. However, there are many women out there who aren't nearly as strong as you are. There are thousands of women out there getting beaten who do nothing about it. And unfortunately many of them end up getting killed due to it. It may sound extreme but unfortuantly it's a fact of some peoples life. (Why do i see this thread going to SC soon?) Get away? We're still together after 16 years. I understand there are women out there getting beaten up and doing nothing about it. I lived it...every day of my childhood. All I'm saying is, you have to assess the situation in its own. It shouldn't be generalized.~Built for Abuse www.skydivethefarm.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iluvtofly 0 #42 February 22, 2008 Sorry....I took the "he never made that mistake again" as you saying you left him. My fault for misreading it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites futuredivot 0 #43 February 22, 2008 That was sort of my point. That was 1986 or 87 and I still feel like a sleaze. If I had slapped or punched, I'd be suicidal. Let me tell you, my wife now wouldn't put up with that crapYou are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites sunshine 2 #44 February 22, 2008 I really need to meet the trophy wife. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites futuredivot 0 #45 February 22, 2008 QuoteI really need to meet the trophy wife. Bar none, the greatest girl alive-not perfect, but perfect for meYou are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #46 February 22, 2008 The rational person. Almost all situations have one, or murder would be commonplace because all situations would continue to escalate. Therefore, be the person that puts the brakes on situations before they get to that level. Escalation can be verbal or physical. Stop it early. If a situation ever gets to violence, then people need to get out of the situation. Leave. Neither sex has the right to strike the other. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Amazon 7 #47 February 22, 2008 Quote Ok, so i was talking to someone about this earlier today and we totally disagree. If a guy hits a girl cause he was mad/frustrated at her, but he was incredibly drunk at the time, is it possible to be an isolated incident and will never happen again? Or should it be considered a "he hit once, he'll hit again" kinda thing? Consider it something that will happen EVERY time he gets drunk.. a Mean drunk will always be a mean drunk... to you and any children you will have... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites masterrig 1 #48 February 22, 2008 QuoteHe hits her once... it only escalates and some day she could very well wind-up dead. Quote Attitudes like this only make it harder for a guy who did something like this to learn from it, is it acceptable? No. Does it automatically mean he is in a downward spiral towards being a serial killer? No I never said anything about his becoming a serial killer. It's just a fact that very often this type of behavior escalates to a deadly level. The first time a guy smacks a girl, she should get the hell out of the situation. Why wait around to see what happens? Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jtval 0 #49 February 22, 2008 Quote Fortunately you were one of the few men (in this type of situation) who realized they were wrong. (Grant it your situation is slightly different.) Unfortuantely most of the men out there who do hit their SO don't think that what they're doing is wrong. Why was he wrong? He bent her over his knee and spanked her. I don't know the MOOD of the spanking but it seems as if he was well tempered and didn't over react. Hell, her mom agreed. SHE was wrong. He asked 3 times to stop. The only reason he was wrong is because he stayed.My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jtval 0 #50 February 22, 2008 Quote[Consider it something that will happen EVERY time he gets drunk.. I agree. But if he has anger issues, it may not be isolated to a drunken mistake. Something Sunshine said earlier bothered me. He acted that way because he wasnt getting his way. I don't intend to say this wil happen but in an extreme case it may lead to rape. what happens if he doesnt get HIS way?My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next Page 2 of 8 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0 Go To Topic Listing
chinagirl 0 #35 February 22, 2008 QuoteHitting a woman is never acceptable and being drunk is no excuse. He hits her once... it only escalates and some day she could very well wind-up dead. Chuck That's a bit extreme dontcha think? I've been in an abusive relationship before, he hit me ONCE. Trust me, he NEVER made that same mistake again. It really does depend on the situation...~Built for Abuse www.skydivethefarm.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvtofly 0 #36 February 22, 2008 QuoteThat's a bit extreme dontcha think? I've been in an abusive relationship before, he hit me ONCE. Trust me, he NEVER made that same mistake again. It really does depend on the situation... That's great that you were able to get away. However, there are many women out there who aren't nearly as strong as you are. There are thousands of women out there getting beaten who do nothing about it. And unfortunately many of them end up getting killed due to it. It may sound extreme but unfortuantly it's a fact of some peoples life. (Why do i see this thread going to SC soon?) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #37 February 22, 2008 Quote (Why do i see this thread going to SC soon?) NOOOOO. We're still having a civil discussion. I don't wanna go to SC. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvtofly 0 #38 February 22, 2008 I don't want it to go to SC either. I just see it being a topic that'll get moved there unfortunately. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #39 February 22, 2008 When my first wife and I were dating, she smacked my face-I asked her not to, she did it again-I told her not to, she did it again. I bent her over my knee and spanked her. I told her that if she acted like a child, I'd treat her as one. Her mom was in the room and agreed with me.....I was wrong, and luckily, later on, I had the will to leave before I hit her again (10 years later) but if I had stayed, it would have eventually happened. Once that line is crossed......You are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvtofly 0 #40 February 22, 2008 Fortunately you were one of the few men (in this type of situation) who realized they were wrong. (Grant it your situation is slightly different.) Unfortuantely most of the men out there who do hit their SO don't think that what they're doing is wrong. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chinagirl 0 #41 February 22, 2008 QuoteQuoteThat's a bit extreme dontcha think? I've been in an abusive relationship before, he hit me ONCE. Trust me, he NEVER made that same mistake again. It really does depend on the situation... That's great that you were able to get away. However, there are many women out there who aren't nearly as strong as you are. There are thousands of women out there getting beaten who do nothing about it. And unfortunately many of them end up getting killed due to it. It may sound extreme but unfortuantly it's a fact of some peoples life. (Why do i see this thread going to SC soon?) Get away? We're still together after 16 years. I understand there are women out there getting beaten up and doing nothing about it. I lived it...every day of my childhood. All I'm saying is, you have to assess the situation in its own. It shouldn't be generalized.~Built for Abuse www.skydivethefarm.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvtofly 0 #42 February 22, 2008 Sorry....I took the "he never made that mistake again" as you saying you left him. My fault for misreading it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #43 February 22, 2008 That was sort of my point. That was 1986 or 87 and I still feel like a sleaze. If I had slapped or punched, I'd be suicidal. Let me tell you, my wife now wouldn't put up with that crapYou are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #44 February 22, 2008 I really need to meet the trophy wife. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #45 February 22, 2008 QuoteI really need to meet the trophy wife. Bar none, the greatest girl alive-not perfect, but perfect for meYou are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #46 February 22, 2008 The rational person. Almost all situations have one, or murder would be commonplace because all situations would continue to escalate. Therefore, be the person that puts the brakes on situations before they get to that level. Escalation can be verbal or physical. Stop it early. If a situation ever gets to violence, then people need to get out of the situation. Leave. Neither sex has the right to strike the other. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon 7 #47 February 22, 2008 Quote Ok, so i was talking to someone about this earlier today and we totally disagree. If a guy hits a girl cause he was mad/frustrated at her, but he was incredibly drunk at the time, is it possible to be an isolated incident and will never happen again? Or should it be considered a "he hit once, he'll hit again" kinda thing? Consider it something that will happen EVERY time he gets drunk.. a Mean drunk will always be a mean drunk... to you and any children you will have... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #48 February 22, 2008 QuoteHe hits her once... it only escalates and some day she could very well wind-up dead. Quote Attitudes like this only make it harder for a guy who did something like this to learn from it, is it acceptable? No. Does it automatically mean he is in a downward spiral towards being a serial killer? No I never said anything about his becoming a serial killer. It's just a fact that very often this type of behavior escalates to a deadly level. The first time a guy smacks a girl, she should get the hell out of the situation. Why wait around to see what happens? Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jtval 0 #49 February 22, 2008 Quote Fortunately you were one of the few men (in this type of situation) who realized they were wrong. (Grant it your situation is slightly different.) Unfortuantely most of the men out there who do hit their SO don't think that what they're doing is wrong. Why was he wrong? He bent her over his knee and spanked her. I don't know the MOOD of the spanking but it seems as if he was well tempered and didn't over react. Hell, her mom agreed. SHE was wrong. He asked 3 times to stop. The only reason he was wrong is because he stayed.My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jtval 0 #50 February 22, 2008 Quote[Consider it something that will happen EVERY time he gets drunk.. I agree. But if he has anger issues, it may not be isolated to a drunken mistake. Something Sunshine said earlier bothered me. He acted that way because he wasnt getting his way. I don't intend to say this wil happen but in an extreme case it may lead to rape. what happens if he doesnt get HIS way?My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next Page 2 of 8 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
jtval 0 #49 February 22, 2008 Quote Fortunately you were one of the few men (in this type of situation) who realized they were wrong. (Grant it your situation is slightly different.) Unfortuantely most of the men out there who do hit their SO don't think that what they're doing is wrong. Why was he wrong? He bent her over his knee and spanked her. I don't know the MOOD of the spanking but it seems as if he was well tempered and didn't over react. Hell, her mom agreed. SHE was wrong. He asked 3 times to stop. The only reason he was wrong is because he stayed.My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #50 February 22, 2008 Quote[Consider it something that will happen EVERY time he gets drunk.. I agree. But if he has anger issues, it may not be isolated to a drunken mistake. Something Sunshine said earlier bothered me. He acted that way because he wasnt getting his way. I don't intend to say this wil happen but in an extreme case it may lead to rape. what happens if he doesnt get HIS way?My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
