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Nataly

Do I look psychotic in these pictures??

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A little shit? Putting down? Two different things.



It all depends on how it's handled, isn't it?

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So Mark are you single?



Why, you out shopping for a new guy? I haven't been to Bloomington in years, is Caveat Emptor still around? Great book store.

Any chance you're a rails dev? We could use more of those in Florida and the DZs down here are killer. Maybe you should visit, I'd be glad to show ya around.

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Just wondering if this tactic has landed you a great girl...



Had an amazing girlfriend, actually, but we broke up because our lives were going in different directions. Working slowly to get back on that horse though, but sometimes it feels like a second job.

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Nope, not shopping. Definitely not.

I am a Visual Studio/C# Developer.

Let me know if that putting down stuff is working for you... maybe it would for girls with low self esteem who think they can't do better. I don't know. It doesn't work with me... but whoever said I was a typical chick.

Tell my boys Kip and Rick down in Sebastian hello from me. I'll be there for Invasion.
Kim Mills
USPA D21696
Tandem I, AFF I and Static Line I

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It would never occur to me, in a million years, that being un-complimentary to a woman on a date is a proper way to behave. You and I are from different planets.


Nope it's not about being uncplimentary.
It's complicated, you see most girls think that this shit don't stink and thus they should hold out for that 6ft tall underwear model who cooks, cleans, sings, plays the guitar, never farts, all his friends are well behaved, is perfectly happy with her low libido an shopping addiction and finds drama queens to be hot.
What a neg does is bring her down to earth with out being too offensive. A simple reminder that she too is human. Such a neg can include, "Nice outfit, it looks just like the one that girl on the other side of the bar is wearing." or when you are talking to her friend and she buts in "wow you sure are the chatty type".
I know it's stupid i know it's dumb....but it works. [:/]
Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

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I have never had a guy "put me down" so maybe it isn't that common. And if they did I would walk away. Quickly.

I think the putdown strategy might work if the woman had some self esteem issues. Maybe that's why it wouldn't work with you.;)

I never tried that kind of thing when I was single. I let 'em know I found them attractive as hell and couldn't wait to go out with them. It's a good way to find the ones that like you.:)

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The world needs more John Mitchell's. I like guys who don't think it is a game... it's life. Maybe it comes down to basic principles - treat others how you wish to be treated.

Sorry, Nataly, but even though your thread has been hijaked I think it has been an educational hijack. ;)

Kim Mills
USPA D21696
Tandem I, AFF I and Static Line I

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What you're talking about only goes, in my book, for someone, male or female, but other than a date, who is acting arrogant, and you take them down a peg. If you know in advance that she's like that, don't ask her out (or, to inject some science fiction, don't accept if she asks you out). But if you do go out with her, behave like a gentleman. If she acts haughty (for the first time) during the date, suck it up and behave yourself; then either find an excuse to politely end the date early, or just don't ask her out again. That aside, I stand by my previous post.

By your standards, I can see that a date might want to give you a neg.

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Let me know if that putting down stuff is working for you...



Actually, I never said I did this. It was just a tactic some people use and maybe this guy was taking that approach with Nat. It was familiar enough for shah to know it and even know the name for it.

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is perfectly happy with her low libido an shopping addiction and finds drama queens to be hot.

There are really hot women out there that aren't like that.;)

I was just exaggerating. But you get the picture.

It's a simple supply and demand curve.
The supply of attractive women is very limited compared to the demand for them.

Seeing that 2/3rd of all Americans are chunky......and what the average idea of what is considered attractive....your average hot girl can be more choosy now then ever before. But a girl still has to demonstrate that she is hot.

Thus, push up bra and a V neck sweater + good lighting and composition for the online photo.

As for face to face flirting, yeah it is a game, and it's not a bad game it can actually be a fun game.
Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

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Let me know if that putting down stuff is working for you...



Actually, I never said I did this. It was just a tactic some people use and maybe this guy was taking that approach with Nat. It was familiar enough for shah to know it and even know the name for it.



Good to know. Take John's advice. His wife is am amazing person inside and out. So as they say "the proof is in the pudding. Or something like that.

And when Shah would be considered the norm... well I just won't go there.
Kim Mills
USPA D21696
Tandem I, AFF I and Static Line I

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I sort of agree but I think you're describing it wrong. I say don't be insulting but also don't be afraid to give her shit or take the piss. Of course delivery is everything. B|

If she gives you shit back...ur in! :P


Thank you my good man! That is exactly what I was speaking of!

That and let's be honest who wants to date a pile of mush. You want to date some one you can debate and argue with and then have amazing angry sex with!
Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

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...when I was single. I let 'em know I found them attractive as hell and couldn't wait to go out with them. It's a good way to find the ones that like you.:)

This is how I always approached it too... I didn't date much but I did find my wife being who I am... and I think she's pretty cute... :$
Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

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I think the putdown strategy might work if the woman had some self esteem issues. Maybe that's why it wouldn't work with you.;)



It's not a low self esteem thing on the girl's side of it. It's mostly a matter of, as a guy, standing out from the pack and/or generating an interest by challenging the girl a bit. You got an attractive girl in a bar or club, maybe she gets hit on 10 times a night. If you hit on her the same way every guy has that night it's not going to work. But if you stand out from the rest you have a better shot. There's other ideas behind this too, like peacocking: wearing something that brings attention to you.

A "neg" wouldn't be a "your ass looks fat", but more of a compliment with an additional negative opinion that shows you're not just trying to please her.

And I'm sorry, but yeah, this crap works. When I lived in SE Florida I worked with a guy, Alen Bubic, who was a PHP dev under me. The dude was an artist when it came to this sort of stuff. It was insane to watch. He later went on to produce and host a reality based pick up show on Comedy Central: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keys_to_the_VIP

Not saying it's the way to a healthy relationship or anything, but to blow it off because we want the world to work differently is silly.

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An *excellent* thread hijack everybody - nicely done :):D (We need an emoticon that's clapping!!!)

I have a bunch of comments to add...

First - an insult is off-putting. Period. Take example above - someone said "you look like a horse".. My reaction? "You are a fucking knob." Someone before him posted a *picture* of a horse with big teeth - fucking funny!!!

The delivery is key.. Poking fun at someone in a playful way is cool - a put down is NOT. I don't know if it would work on someone with a low self-esteem, but honestly that is a *terrible* way of scoring.. Girls like guys who make them feel GOOD about themselves.. If a girl has a low self-esteem, chances are a guy would have MORE success with a compliment or a cheeky joke.

Next point: THANK YOU JOHN for once again posting comments with a huge dose of good-sense. Boys: take note.. He always gets kudos from the ladies, *and* has an uber-hot wife. 'Nuff said.

Finally: ANDY9o8 you, my friend, are SPOT ON!! (And funny as hell!)

Let the debate continue :P:)

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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I pedaled here:

http://www.dim.com/~ryoder/MtEvans/IMGP0085.jpg

How about you?;)



Very cool!
Evans is one that I haven't done.
There are more I haven't done than one's I've done tho' ... & none on wheels, either self-propelled or not.

/Marg

Act as if everything you do matters, while laughing at yourself for thinking anything you do matters.
Tibetan Buddhist saying

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Let me know if that putting down stuff is working for you... maybe it would for girls with low self esteem who think they can't do better. I don't know. It doesn't work with me... but whoever said I was a typical chick.



That BS would never work on me, either. I like being treated well, and I would not give a man the time of day, if he tried to put me down. I agree with every post that you have made, Kmills0705.

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That BS would never work on me, either. I like being treated well, and I would not give a man the time of day, if he tried to put me down. I agree with every post that you have made, Kmills0705.


The very fact you said that means it would work on you.
And it's not a put down "DAMN YOU LOOK HUGE!" but rather a bit more tactful such as "More women need to be happy with their shape and show it off." then turn and ignore you and talk to your friend.
It's sick, it's wrong, I wish it didn't work but it does and WHERE THE HELL IS THAT PUSH UP BRA + V NECK PICTURE!
Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

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