Conundrum 1 #101 October 27, 2010 Quote Quote Quote Quote My new toy!!!! Only the guys guys will probably appreciate this one. Excuse me? Oh geez, don't go getting your panties in a bunch. ummmm- wow. Okay. First- I was joking with Josh, and I am sure that he would have figured that out. Second- how was your comment any different?...... "wtf is that supposed to mean?" Having a laughing smiley makes a bit of difference when it comes to comments like that. I think it was pretty obvious that my comment was in a joking way. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cheach 0 #102 October 27, 2010 The original poster would have figured out I was joking. Actually- most people probably would have figured it out.I woke up next to a blowup doll Ash....so what do you think? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conundrum 1 #103 October 27, 2010 So maybe you can figure out that my comment to you was also a joke. Aaaaanyway.... back to cars Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DeNReN 0 #104 October 27, 2010 Quotecold air intake..fixed it for ya whats cold about it? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #105 October 27, 2010 QuoteQuotecold air intake..fixed it for ya whats cold about it? Your wife, after she finds out how much it cost?--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tharv17 0 #106 October 27, 2010 This is pretty good http://jalopnik.com/5674537/this-craigslist-ad-is-actually-commentary-on-modern-existence Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LongWayToFall 0 #107 October 27, 2010 Hahaha. That was good. This has gotta be my favorite though: OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly. It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop. This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is). No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once. It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man. My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore. There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo. Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash. To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants. Rock on. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #108 October 28, 2010 Quote Quote My new toy!!!! Only the guys guys will probably appreciate this one. Excuse me? My car- that I had from Oct '02 until last month- had plenty of "boy toys"....Wasn't he pretty? I sure miss Stud(that was his name). I see you got Gia one too! That was very thoughtful!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CapsFan1974 0 #109 October 28, 2010 I have to admit with my short time on these boards; reading some of the more "colorful" threads, I didn't expect a thread titled "My new toy!!!!" would be about cars. I expected it to be about something like this (NSFW): http://www.fleshlight.com/alien/ Now back to BillyVance's sick and twisted thread... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
93zx11 0 #110 October 28, 2010 Quote I have to admit with my short time on these boards; reading some of the more "colorful" threads, I didn't expect a thread titled "My new toy!!!!" would be about cars. I expected it to be about something like this (NSFW): http://www.fleshlight.com/alien/ Now back to BillyVance's sick and twisted thread... "The new Fleshlight Alien is an unworldly experience that will abduct your penis and send it spiraling through in a real milky way!" That sounds like pure wholesome family fun right there. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mutumbo 0 #111 October 28, 2010 Yaay! I always did wonder what it felt like to fuck a smurf. Thanatos340(on landing rounds)-- Landing procedure: Hand all the way up, Feet and Knees Together and PLF soon as you get bitch slapped by a planet. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
93zx11 0 #112 October 28, 2010 Quote Yaay! I always did wonder what it felt like to fuck a smurf. Apparently these guys did too... (mild NSFW) http://chud.com/articles/content_images/5/smurf%20porn.jpg Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cheach 0 #113 October 28, 2010 Quote Quote Quote My new toy!!!! Only the guys guys will probably appreciate this one. Excuse me? My car- that I had from Oct '02 until last month- had plenty of "boy toys"....Wasn't he pretty? I sure miss Stud(that was his name). I see you got Gia one too! That was very thoughtful! Oddly enough- When I changed my cold air intake on my car, a guy in our Mustang club wanted my stock parts. I gave them to him and he gave me a "mini-Stud".I woke up next to a blowup doll Ash....so what do you think? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 622 #114 October 28, 2010 That thing is NAS-TEE! I wouldn't put a rented dick in there.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ridestrong 1 #115 October 28, 2010 Installed!!!!!!!!!*I am not afraid of dying... I am afraid of missing life.* ----Disclaimer: I don't know shit about skydiving.---- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
93zx11 0 #116 October 29, 2010 QuoteInstalled!!!!!!!!! Whew, sit back and have a cold one, champ, while we admire your hard work. Installing a short ram takes a grueling 5 minutes and a wrench. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DeNReN 0 #117 October 29, 2010 Thats another pet peeve of mine...lets cover the entire fucking engine with a hugh piece of plastic!!!! for no other reason but ....what the hell is the reason? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
1969912 0 #118 October 29, 2010 Quote Thats another pet peeve of mine...lets cover the entire fucking engine with a hugh piece of plastic!!!! for no other reason but ....what the hell is the reason? It's something to set your beer on while working on the car. "Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ." -NickDG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ridestrong 1 #119 October 29, 2010 Quote Quote Installed!!!!!!!!! Whew, sit back and have a cold one, champ, while we admire your hard work. Thanks man! For a minute I thought you were just a HATER prick head. I didn't understand why someone would get all bitch like about adding an upgraded air intake system to a V8 HEMI 5.7L. Guess I was wrong about you. *I am not afraid of dying... I am afraid of missing life.* ----Disclaimer: I don't know shit about skydiving.---- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ridestrong 1 #120 October 29, 2010 Quote Thats another pet peeve of mine...lets cover the entire fucking engine with a hugh piece of plastic!!!! for no other reason but ....what the hell is the reason? Yeah I agree... I wish they still made 'em like they did in the 60s and 70s.*I am not afraid of dying... I am afraid of missing life.* ----Disclaimer: I don't know shit about skydiving.---- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DeNReN 0 #121 October 29, 2010 Quote Quote Thats another pet peeve of mine...lets cover the entire fucking engine with a hugh piece of plastic!!!! for no other reason but ....what the hell is the reason? Yeah I agree... I wish they still made 'em like they did in the 60s and 70s. I like new technology... the dual plug with 8 coils and wires is messy to look at and to work on....would prob scare most people away .... best cover it up Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
93zx11 0 #122 October 29, 2010 Quote Quote Quote Installed!!!!!!!!! Whew, sit back and have a cold one, champ, while we admire your hard work. Thanks man! For a minute I thought you were just a HATER prick head. I didn't understand why someone would get all bitch like about adding an upgraded air intake system to a V8 HEMI 5.7L. Guess I was wrong about you. No, you were pretty much right. And I have nothing against people upgrading their car, I take issue with people bragging about it like they are the first person to have a V8 HEMI 5.7L with a NOW UPGRADED INTAKE SYSTEM YEAHHH! Nothing personal. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
