TriGirl 268 #76 April 1, 2011 1 -- I agree with all the comments about lying. It's always a bad idea. 2 -- This whole thread brings me back to my take on modern-day dating: too many people use it as an interview process instead of a way for two people to have a nice time together. I also believe this is the reason the divorce rate is so high -- people find partners based on what they're supposed to want/do, but later realize they don't know each other at all. The woman who is asking you all these questions on a first date is the one interviewing for the best "catch." Run. 3 -- I also agree that there are no standards that apply to "all" women, or even "most" women. We could say that "all" men are alike as well, if you look at all the single, powerful, successful women in the government, military, and the corporate world, you could say that "all" men are intimidated by smart, powerful, driven women. ...or, you could just accept that for just as many of us, marriage and family are not the top priorities. ETA: see #3 for the answer to your original question. For me, it's not a turn-off, it's a bonus. However, I'm just one person.See the upside, and always wear your parachute! -- Christopher Titus Shut Up & Jump! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #77 April 1, 2011 Shah: you would have to be a complete moron not to know the answer to your question. You *know* having/wanting kids is a big deal whether you want them or not - they represent a 20+ year investment in love, time and money. You know that if someone wants kids, they will be turned off by someone else not wanting them and that the opposite is also true. All of this is obvious. And it's also abvious that any attempt to hide your true feelings about kids is purely for short-term gain. So if you want a long, stable, balanced relationship, DON'T LIE. If you want a second date with a chick who desperately wants your children - lie your fucking face off because you should realise that such a girl is a fucking freak/miracle anyway!!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #78 April 1, 2011 When I work with kids I tell them to never say No to something they are unsure of. I tell them that the best answer to a question they don't know is simply "I don't know" that gives them room to stand back do research and come back with maybe a yes answer. Even a girl who does not wish to have kids is exposed to extreme pressure regarding having them. I recall when i was married that every one and their mother not only asked why my x and I were not planning or intending on having kids but after hearing that we were not interested that we were called or told we were; selfish, short sighted, knew now better, odd and should reconsider. We were a couple and could deal with such an attack. I it were just one person could they? Over time they will "alter" their behavior such as to prevent these kinds of verbal attack...by the way the personal one here have been very nice no really very nice....after all it's in our biology to behave in a manner that reduces the number of social attacks. Now perhaps I miss spoke when I said I lie, I should say i skirt the issue so as to get to know the person better. Of the girls I've dated only one did not wish to have kids and that came out after a month of seeing each other. By me being ambiguous I was able to know her better and we had a good time. But reading these posts I've come to the conclusion that I have a very long road ahead of me. Between what physical traits and educational traits I look for in a partner this added desire to not reproduce just complicates matters and reduces potential dates. But such is life. Better true to ones intentions than to live a life of compromise.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
missbrz 0 #79 April 1, 2011 Quote2 -- This whole thread brings me back to my take on modern-day dating: too many people use it as an interview process instead of a way for two people to have a nice time together. I also believe this is the reason the divorce rate is so high -- people find partners based on what they're supposed to want/do, but later realize they don't know each other at all. The woman who is asking you all these questions on a first date is the one interviewing for the best "catch." Run. Trigirl, I agree with you! In fact, if we talked about having kids on the first date I'd up and run with my tail between my legs! Dating is meant to be fun, not an automatic commitment to the other person just because you had dinner once or twice. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #80 April 1, 2011 Quote Trigirl, I agree with you! In fact, if we talked about having kids on the first date I'd up and run with my tail between my legs! Dating is meant to be fun, not an automatic commitment to the other person just because you had dinner once or twice. Between living a less than optimal location for dating and working in a less than optimal environment for dating (most if not all of my no skydiving friends are married with kids) I take what I can get. Until things change, possibly 2 years from now, this is my reality. First date is an interview based on small talk.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
david3 0 #81 April 1, 2011 QuoteQuote Trigirl, I agree with you! In fact, if we talked about having kids on the first date I'd up and run with my tail between my legs! Dating is meant to be fun, not an automatic commitment to the other person just because you had dinner once or twice. Between living a less than optimal location for dating and working in a less than optimal environment for dating (most if not all of my no skydiving friends are married with kids) I take what I can get. Until things change, possibly 2 years from now, this is my reality. First date is an interview based on small talk. I have read many but not all of the posts in this thread so maybe someone has said this already. Why don’t you just say “I honestly haven’t met the person I want to have children with yet”. It leaves the door open and is true. Maybe, despite your feelings now, someone could come along that would change your view and make you want to have children. Now with that being said, don’t take away a womens easy excuse for not seeing you again. It may be easier for her to say she doesn’t want to see you again because you don’t want children than to say “Shah is bat shit crazy so I don’t want to see him again”. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #82 April 1, 2011 QuoteWhy don’t you just say “I honestly haven’t met the person I want to have children with yet”. I do say that, and it's a half truth and according to many a lie.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,384 #83 April 1, 2011 Quote S If you want a second date with a chick who desperately wants your children - lie your fucking face off because you should realise that such a girl is a fucking freak/miracle anyway!!! Best answer yet!"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TriGirl 268 #84 April 1, 2011 Quote . Why don’t you just say “I honestly haven’t met the person I want to have children with yet”. It leaves the door open and is true. Need to be careful with that one, too. The ones who are "conducting interviews" are usually the same ones who will want to be "the one" who changes him/his mind! That might be taken as an invitation to the girl to start her quest to "win." I'm not saying it isn't a good idea, but just need to be cautious. Perhaps if you leave off the "yet," that reply would be much safer! See the upside, and always wear your parachute! -- Christopher Titus Shut Up & Jump! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvtofly 0 #85 April 1, 2011 BEST THREAD EVER!!!!! And not for the content. But for the fact that it brought back Bubbles and Broke!!!! Where the hell have you guys been?????? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #86 April 1, 2011 QuoteI do say that, and it's a half truth and according to many a lie. You said, "I would rather place a tooth pick under my toe nail and kick a wall than to have kids. I don’t want them, not now not ever." That doesn't indicate that you just haven't found the right girl. You didn't answer the question as to whether you've been snipped. If you haven't, you really should. I know many men who have had that procedure done, it's apparently not that big a deal.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnnyMarko 1 #87 April 1, 2011 Quote Quote Quote Quote Start batting for the other team? Are you hitting on shah? What size are you? NO! I think you duff protest too much What this means? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
missbrz 0 #88 April 1, 2011 Quote Quote Quote Quote Quote Start batting for the other team? Are you hitting on shah? What size are you? NO! I think you duff protest too much What this means? It's a reference to Shakespeare. The true quote i believe is "Me thinks the lady doth protest to much" It means if you protest TOO much that means that whatever you're saying no to is actually true...... in other words you really do want Shah & all his Persian studliness! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnnyMarko 1 #89 April 1, 2011 Quote Quote Quote Quote Quote Quote Start batting for the other team? Are you hitting on shah? What size are you? NO! I think you duff protest too much What this means? It's a reference to Shakespeare. The true quote i believe is "Me thinks the lady doth protest to much" It means if you protest TOO much that means that whatever you're saying no to is actually true...... in other words you really do want Shah & all his Persian studliness! Busted. I can't hide it anymore, I want Shah so bad (April's fools) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 2,400 #90 April 1, 2011 >It doesn't matter!! It is a lie out and out and him trying to deceive a person he wants to date. Right. But it might get him that second date, and that's his goal. (Not agreeing with him, just explaining the rationale.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #91 April 1, 2011 QuoteBEST THREAD EVER!!!!! And not for the content. But for the fact that it brought back Bubbles and Broke!!!! Where the hell have you guys been?????? Post whoring here is more fun that Trolling on CL...Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkeenan 13 #92 April 1, 2011 Shah, you are one hell of a piece of work. Every time I think you have peaked in your "Shah-ness", you reach new heights. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
david3 0 #93 April 1, 2011 Quote Quote Quote Quote Quote Quote Start batting for the other team? Are you hitting on shah? What size are you? NO! I think you duff protest too much What this means? It's a reference to Shakespeare. The true quote i believe is "Me thinks the lady doth protest to much" It means if you protest TOO much that means that whatever you're saying no to is actually true...... in other words you really do want Shah & all his Persian studliness! Are you sure it just wasn’t posted to the wrong thread. I think he meant to post to the cheap beer thread. “I can’t get enough of that wonderful DUFF”. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBoYgImWPVI&feature=related . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrewEckhardt 0 #94 April 1, 2011 QuoteHow much of a turn off is it? Now please without too much snarkeyness bitchyness or attitude.....which most likely won't happen. How much of a turn off is it TO THE AVERAGE CHICK if a dude does not wish to have kids? The AVERAGE CHICK is not going to marry you unless she can make babies with you or bring her existing children into the relationship. As of 2008, only 18% of women aged 40-44 had not made children. The odds are a little better among educated women, with a 24% childless rate among women that age with at least a masters degree. So don't date average women of child bearing age looking for mates, where the alternatives are less average, just looking for sex, professionals, and/or procreated long enough ago that their children have matured into human beings. I'm under 40, married, and both our kids have undergraduate degrees plus their own apartments. It is very nice. Quote The problem lies in question #2. I would rather place a tooth pick under my toe nail and kick a wall than to have kids. I dont want them, not now not ever. But if I wish to see the girl again I've noticed I've had to lie or make up some convoluted story about "how I'm not sure..." That's a dead end. A woman with a genetic imperative to have children is likely to make them with or without you. You'll suffer less if you skip to the next one sooner rather than later. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #95 April 1, 2011 QuoteAs of 2008, only 18% of women aged 40-44 had not made children. The odds are a little better among educated women, with a 24% childless rate among women that age with at least a masters degree. Wow that is some amazing data thank you. Sadly in my masters in business program there are 14 of us. 7 guys and 7 lovely soccer moms. Such is life.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Herky 0 #96 April 1, 2011 When they ask you these questions, it's not an interview, it's a test. And missing just one question is failing and you are out of there. Your only possible actions are wrong answer, right answer, and non-answer. To give the right answer, you would have to lie. But now, a non-answer is just clever word play, and as long as she isn't really smart, and you move the conversation elsewhere fairly quickly, a non-answer will get the job done. Any potential de-railer questions like those, it's best to have pre-planned clever witty replies to ahead of time. Or go with skymama's advice and get the snip done, tell them yes you want to have kids, and just never tell them about the procedure. When they aren't getting pregnant, say it must be you and refuse to get tested. That would be the shah way. lmao Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #97 April 2, 2011 Makes you wonder if a dating sight just for people who do not wish to have kids will do? %10 of 300mill is a good 30million people. But thank you, for the advice.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sapphire 0 #98 April 2, 2011 Just to add: Some women also may not want to fess up about not wanting to have children. I can't tell you the countless number of people who look at me like I have 2 heads when I say I don't want them and never have; like there is something wrong with a woman who doesn't want to bring another life into this world. I hear the ... "you'll change you're mind when you... get older/meet the right guy/etc." "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" ~ Helen Keller Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #99 April 2, 2011 I'm sure you can filter for this on the normal websites. If it's really a deal-breaker for you, why not try dating slightly older women? They are more likely to be mature and know who they are and as an added bous also more likely to know what they are doing in the sack! Plus if they say they don't want children they are less likely to change their mind..."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #100 April 2, 2011 Quote Makes you wonder if a dating sight just for people who do not wish to have kids will do? %10 of 300mill is a good 30million people. But thank you, for the advice. Just date a 45-50yr olds and you wont have a problem with them wanting kids...TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
