jono 0 #1 March 11, 2015 Yep that's right!! And to celebrate................ - Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra and after five days of excruciating pain... the cobra died. - He who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris, is definitely his last laugh. - The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris's age is to cut him in half and count the rings. - Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. - Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone. - Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret. - If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1. - When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out. - When Chuck Norris swims in the ocean, the sharks are in a steel cage. - Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. - Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known as giraffes. - Chuck Norris doesn't breathe air. He holds air hostage. - Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin. - Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life. - Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. - Chuck Norris's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2. No one fools Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris wears sunglasses so that his eyes won't hurt the sun. - If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying. - When Chuck Norris works out he doesn't get stronger, the machine does. - Chuck Norris does not sleep; he waits. Remember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #2 March 11, 2015 You know how many push ups Chuck Norris can do? All of them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rifleman 61 #3 March 11, 2015 A town in Texas once named a bridge after Chuck Norris but they had to change it because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #4 March 11, 2015 Chucks tears care a cure for cancer, but he never cries. Chuck Norris has mastered the Concrete Rebound Hammer - by him self!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zep 0 #5 March 11, 2015 Chuck Norris called out Van Damme and lost. Gone fishing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shift 0 #6 March 11, 2015 Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFKING 3 #7 March 11, 2015 Chuck Norris can beat up all the female Moderators on this site (and Remi) at the same time. Don"When in doubt I whip it out, I got me a rock-and-roll band. It's a free-for-all." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gorn 0 #8 March 11, 2015 Chuck Norris can eat sawdust and shit two by fours. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kenthediver 0 #9 March 11, 2015 Chuck does not do push ups, rather he pushes the world away, Chuck is so fast, he knocks out his own shadow Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
akarunway 1 #10 March 11, 2015 I wonder what Bruce Lee would say. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/fr/1761174/postshttp://www.metacafe.com/watch/5455011/bruce_lee_fight_vs_chuck_norris/ I used to go to, I think now it's called Mann's theater on Hollywood Blvd. and watch all the BL movies. Early 70's.I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rehmwa 2 #11 March 12, 2015 jono- If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1. that's a new one for me If, by some weird space time paradox, Chuck Norris could travel in time and fight himself.....He'd win If Chuck Norris is now 75, does that mean the universe is now just over 74 years old? ... Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rehmwa 2 #12 March 12, 2015 akarunwayI wonder what Bruce Lee would say. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/fr/1761174/postshttp://www.metacafe.com/watch/5455011/bruce_lee_fight_vs_chuck_norris/ I used to go to, I think now it's called Mann's theater on Hollywood Blvd. and watch all the BL movies. Early 70's. thanks for those links ... Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Erroll 49 #13 March 13, 2015 rehmwaIf Chuck Norris is now 75, does that mean the universe is now just over 74 years old? The other day Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #14 March 13, 2015 Erroll***If Chuck Norris is now 75, does that mean the universe is now just over 74 years old? The other day Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice. On the seventh day, chuck said it was ok for God to rest.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deyan 31 #15 March 13, 2015 turtlespeed******If Chuck Norris is now 75, does that mean the universe is now just over 74 years old? The other day Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice. On the seventh day, chuck said it was ok for God to rest. Chuck Norris is the only person ever to land on runway 37."My belief is that once the doctor whacks you on the butt, all guarantees are off" Jerry Baumchen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
david3 0 #16 March 14, 2015 http://mexlol.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Machete-Danny-Trejo-Cuck-Norris-never-Heard-of-Her.jpg Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
obelixtim 100 #17 March 14, 2015 Chuck Norris goes to Burger King and orders a Big Mac, and gets it.My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GARYC24 3 #18 March 20, 2015 He beat Bobby Fischer in chess in 1 move. It was a Chuck-mate! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bertt 0 #19 March 20, 2015 When Chuck Norris vacations in Europe, he has a part-time job as the Large Hadron Collider. Not at; as.You don't have to outrun the bear. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites