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BIGUN

JOKE OF THE DAY CLUB

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Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. 

His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. 

"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my… umm… member into the pickle slicer?"

"Oh, Bill, you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

"My God, Bill, what happened?"

"I got fired."

"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"

"Oh - she got fired too."

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A good Catholic Joke;P

 

The Pope and Trump are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd. the Pope leans towards trump and says " do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with Joy? This Joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they will forever speak of this day and Rejoice!!!

Trump replied "i seriously doubt that! with one little wave of your hand?.... show me!"

so the Pope backhanded him in the face and knocked him of the stage! and the crown Roared and cheered wildly and there was happiness through the land ;P^.^

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5 minutes ago, RobertMBlevins said:

I thought it might be out there on the edge. Okay with me if it is removed. Of course...when you quoted it over directly...you simply made a second copy available. Now they will have to delete both. B)

Yes, I see that your post is deleted but mine is not. I have put in a request for deletion.

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(edited)

Okay. Let's try another. 

A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb-blonde joke when a young blonde woman jumps to her feet. “What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?” she shouts. “What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?”

Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology. "Uh, well I..."

“You keep out of this!” she yells. “I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”

One more just for the heck of it:

 

“Doctor, I think my wife is hard of hearing.”

The doctor says, "Well, there's a test you can do to find out. Start out 40 feet away from her, and in a normal speaking tone say something and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, his wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he’s in the living room. He asks, “Honey, what’s for supper?”

No response.

He moves closer and repeats, “Honey, what’s for supper?” Still no response.

Next, he moves into the dining room. “Honey, what’s for supper?” 

Again, no response, so he walks up right behind her. “Honey, what’s for supper?”

“Dammit! For the last time...CHICKEN!

Edited by RobertMBlevins

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A guy goes to the Council to apply for a Job.

The interviewer asks him, Are you Allergic to anything? He replies, Yes Caffeine, I cant Drink coffee!

Ok, have you ever been in the Military Service?  Yes , he says, I was in Iraq for 2 Tours. Interviewer say that will get you 5 Extra Bonus Point towards employment.

are yo disabled in anyway? the guys says, Yes, a bomb exploded near me and i lost both of my Testicles.

Ok says the Interviewer, you got enough Points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are fro 08.00-16.00. you can start tomorrow at 10 and plan on Starting at 10 every other day after that.

the guy is a bit puzzled and asks, If the working hours are from 08.00 to 16.00 why don't you want me here till 10??

 

This is a Government Job! for the first 2 hours we just stand around drinking Coffee and scratching our balls. No point you coming in for that!!

 

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