SethInMI 145 #2076 October 26, 2020 to kill a french vampire, you need to drive a baguette through its heart. sounds easy, but the process is painstaking 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riggerrob 558 #2078 November 2, 2020 On 10/29/2020 at 1:37 AM, headoverheels said: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riggerrob 558 #2079 November 2, 2020 Near my home town, farmers traditionally moved their out-houses 2 yards (2 metres) forward just before Halloween. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SethInMI 145 #2080 November 4, 2020 I was walking by a farm when I noticed a sign that said "Duck, eggs." I remember thinking, that's an unnecessary comma. Then it hit me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
headoverheels 291 #2081 November 6, 2020 Covid restrictions on group size: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gowlerk 1,914 #2083 November 14, 2020 5 minutes ago, RobertMBlevins said: I thought it might be out there on the edge. Okay with me if it is removed. Of course...when you quoted it over directly...you simply made a second copy available. Now they will have to delete both. Yes, I see that your post is deleted but mine is not. I have put in a request for deletion. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
irishrigger 31 #2084 November 20, 2020 A guy goes to the Council to apply for a Job. The interviewer asks him, Are you Allergic to anything? He replies, Yes Caffeine, I cant Drink coffee! Ok, have you ever been in the Military Service? Yes , he says, I was in Iraq for 2 Tours. Interviewer say that will get you 5 Extra Bonus Point towards employment. are yo disabled in anyway? the guys says, Yes, a bomb exploded near me and i lost both of my Testicles. Ok says the Interviewer, you got enough Points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are fro 08.00-16.00. you can start tomorrow at 10 and plan on Starting at 10 every other day after that. the guy is a bit puzzled and asks, If the working hours are from 08.00 to 16.00 why don't you want me here till 10?? This is a Government Job! for the first 2 hours we just stand around drinking Coffee and scratching our balls. No point you coming in for that!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SethInMI 145 #2085 January 16, 2021 Jersey, Guernsey, Black Angus, Texas Longhorn, Herefords, Holsteins. Maybe this is just the cattle list we need to get things going. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,053 #2086 January 16, 2021 1 hour ago, SethInMI said: just the cattle list Go to your room 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SethInMI 145 #2087 January 16, 2021 18 minutes ago, BIGUN said: Go to your room don't have a cow, man 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JerryBaumchen 1,048 #2088 February 4, 2021 Hi folks, Jerry Baumchen 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,053 #2089 February 8, 2021 Joke of the Day: Kansas City Chiefs at SB LV 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SethInMI 145 #2091 February 24, 2021 a "Billy Vance's nsfw thread" candidate: 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,384 #2092 February 25, 2021 From Fark.com: Tiger Woods wishes he could get a mulligan on that last drive. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Faicon9493 114 #2094 March 5, 2021 A married couple was sitting at the breakfast table on the morning of their 50th anniversary. The wife looked at her husband and said, “Oh honey, can you believe it? We have been married 50 wonderful years! I still remember when we were young and so in love, many mornings, we would be sitting at this table naked. For old times sake, let’s get naked right now!” The husband said, “Ok!” After getting naked, the wife looked at her husband and said, “Oh honey! My breasts are hot for you like they were 50 years ago!” The husband said, “Well it’s no wonder. One’s in your oatmeal and the other one’s in your coffee!” Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mr.paul 13 #2095 March 14, 2021 My pet snake is 3.1415 feet long. He's a π-thon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
johnhking1 70 #2096 March 15, 2021 22 hours ago, mr.paul said: My pet snake is 3.1415 feet long. He's a π-thon Is he one foot in diameter? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mr.paul 13 #2097 March 15, 2021 8 minutes ago, johnhking1 said: Is he one foot in diameter? He's not sure, he's not an adder! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SethInMI 145 #2098 March 15, 2021 4 hours ago, johnhking1 said: Is he one foot in diameter? as an ouroboros he would be 1 foot in diameter.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ouroboros Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EvaWill 1 #2099 April 2, 2021 Scene: With a patient in my medical exam room Me: How old are your kids? Patient: Forty-four and 39 from my wife who passed away, and from my second wife, 15 and 13. Me: That’s quite the age difference! Patient: Well, the older ones didn’t give me any grandkids, so I made my own. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites