MF42

Too long. Sunshine brioke my heart... I'm just joking. It's alla joke.

That's a myth. Matt

Stop flirting with me. Matt

But then when you go get nekkud and even haveice cream, she disappears! Matt

I'm only about halfway through, and tyhe quality just isn;t so great as Harris' usual. Matt

i don't rememver any triumphant slassical music when I jumped... Matt

not sure whether to vote for "guy, yes" or "guy, yes", os I wnet with "guy,yes." None of taht sicko viokent stuff, though. Matt

Objection, your honor! In the last pictue, thet is very clearlt speed tape, not duct tape. very different stuff. Matt

i'd use that one! does that make eme a redneck?

Yeah, I'm a lifelomng teetotaller, so there's no built up resisatence at all. Muscle relaxants hit hard. Krisanne: typing sucks. Matt

Matt

Go PostWhorse! (See, I tpyed that more slowly.) Matt

At a couple of josb I would bring my juggling astuff, and i'd jgugle to goof off.

I'm laudghing becasue I'm doing the samething right now! My back started hurting al ot today, so I've joined all you druggies for a little whuile. Mihgt just take anap. Matt

As long as they're bigger than mine, that's big enough.

I liked the pseudo motion illusions.

Well, one of the really great things about boobies is that they almost always come in pairs, which should make it easy to share. Matt

Boobies. Lots and lots of boobies.

It's a weekend night, between 6 and 8 pm, you're with some friends and getting a little hungry. The absolutely worst possible way to deal with the situation is to call the pizza place, then when they ask to take the order, say "Yeah, hold on a minute," then yell to your friends "Hey, does anybody want pizza? Yeah? Well, what do you want on it?" Doing this makes the person attempting to take your order extremely pissed off at you, and greatly increases the chances that your pizza will be spit on at least once. Some pizza places will even add an "idiot tax" to the price, for wasting time in the busiest hour of the whole week. The correct way to order is to get everybody to decide on how many pizzas and with what toppings you want. Write it down. Then call and place your order. Simple. No spit or idiot taxes involved. And you get to eat pizza. Tip the driver well, and he'll take care of your order first the next time you call. Everybody wins.

Its aj happy new yaer already!

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You really are a heel. You're as cuddly as a cactus, You're as charming as an eel. Mr. Grinch. You're a bad banana With a greasy black peel. You're a monster, Mr. Grinch. Your heart's an empty hole. Your brain is full of spiders, You've got garlic in your soul. Mr. Grinch. I wouldn't touch you, with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole. You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch. You have termites in your smile. You have all the tender sweetness Of a seasick crocodile. Mr. Grinch. Given the choice between the two of you I'd take the seasick crockodile. You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch. You're a nasty, wasty skunk. Your heart is full of unwashed socks Your soul is full of gunk. Mr. Grinch. The three words that best describe you, are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk." You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch. You're the king of sinful sots. Your heart's a dead tomato splot With moldy purple spots, Mr. Grinch. Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, Mangled up in tangled up knots. You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch. With a nauseaus super-naus. You're a crooked jerky jockey And you drive a crooked horse. Mr. Grinch. You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool sandwich With arsenic sauce. Matt

My boss called on the phone, and said to tell everybody "merry Christmas" from him. That's honestly more than I expected. Matt

Matt

So, what's the name of the other old guy??? Statler and Waldorf were the hecklers.

Did anybody ever figure out just exactly what kind of animal Gonzo is? Looks like some kind of bird. Vulture, maybe. Matt