chickenhawk420

Please reply, its driving me insane...

Im gettin a feelin of de ja vu here, sorry can't give advice coz im gettin this as well and its sucks, big time.

congrats man, remember that busses come in threes man so count before you cross

Sorry to drop this on yall but need to get this shit out of my system. Ive been getting serious shit of my parents but here is the history (needs to be said to make sense out the rest), Firstly never really had a problem with my parents untill about two years ago at college, mensa member since 11 and did very well in my school examz- A*, 4 A's, 6 B's and a couple of not so ggod grades (must piont out that ive been smokin weed since third year, 13-14). Went to college and started doing alevels, science bias, loved college (who wouldn't with a great group of friends and thirty pubs within a two minute walk) but i hated the subjects i was doing and found out too late, not like i could'nt do the subjects i just simply hated them and had lost all intrest in them (without curiosity who would want to learn) but i tried and did'nt do well. - got E's. It was still good enough to go to uni but i didn't want to wasn't sure what i wanted to learn (so i did'nt want college part two) plus i am slighly unconventional and wanted to pursue skydiving (which i had got into fully after my parents gave me a gift Aff level one jump for passing my examz- i did a static and tandem becoz the aff master broke his leg the weekend before- but it was cool as hell and was a great present). So now moving round jobs finding a way to do the one thing i really want to do. Its not like ive pinned all future hopes on it, ive got training as a CPO (basicly bodyguard) which means ive passed background checks (plus course) and am able to do the next course which gets me into employment. After that i work my way up but thanks to knowing a Ex-BG still in the game who wiil help with contacts, i can expect to get a nice paid job (after a year or so £30-40 an hor upto £500 an hour, good money) Now ive not been too good with money or holdin down a job (but it ain't totaly all my fault) but im determined to fall in style, thats what im going for now- its all i want, well that and my friends to me thats what life is not working your ass off, loosing friends because youve all got to work all hours to get anywhere- its not that im not going to work hard its just what exactley are those people working for- it certainly doesn't seem to be their dreams. Ok, ive gone on a bit already but if youve got this far please stay with me, i need advice and pointers, i need to know that this isn't all me and that its my parents who have really lost plot. So since deciding this my parents had said theyll support me, and its my choice about uni and my happiness is the important thing. Cool i really thought my parents had my back, since being young i always had respect for my parents being liberal and not going a with the grain just coz its the pop thing to do. But then i start spending what they see as more and more time away from home (even though i was like this through school, friends have always been important- you meet people who feel the same about issues who you can really feel, we have similar lifestyle habits and that was why we gelled, ye know? Isnt that about what growing is all about, and isn't it closed family units which lead to seggregation, iggnorance and people stayin with their own? So i start getting shit of my units, they find out about my weed smokin (coz that must be the problem hey, why i did so bad at college- even though didn't effect my school, the only reason i did bad at college was i lost interest in my subjects, i picked the wrong ones). Then comes the rest of the shit about not doing household chores, loosing jobs, savings- the usual stuff. But then it kept coming back to the same thing, must be the weed, i must be addicted (even though i have tried to show that these things are nothing more than scare mongering bread into society that goes back a hundred years, that weed or thc is NOT addictive in the nature that you become physicly dependent but can be habbitual- in its very nature not addictive). After rows and trying to explain my stand point i felt that my parents were comin round and starting to understand- becoz they kept sayin we're not bothered about it. But it is always the first thing that gets thrown at me, choice use of words like pothead, doped up, memorys going, uve got no intelligence left, wheres your spark, so absent minded. Ive tried to show that this isn't true, my memorys better than theirs etc but it always the way things are said that show more abou what their thinking even if theyre are trying to say one thing, i beleive them then they show that its bollocks coz it comes back to the same shit. This stopped for a while instead of the weed i got hit by selfish, only care about my self sort of shit, they got pissed at the chores so i try to do it (and most days i do but im not in that much) but it doesn't matter what i do their idea of compromise is do what we say, our roof tough shit. Next blow my sister (younger and their last hope for what ever they think i should have been) suffers from deprssion and tries sucide as the answer (it was a serious attempt but at the same time im left with the feeling, due to her way, that it also had an element, strong, of the cry for help, slight emotional blackmail, need attention thing) I, and i mean sadly, don't get on with my sister as well as i would like and we have the uncanny natural ability of setting each other of. However after i tried but still i get crap of my sister, she launches the verbal i try and walk away but its pretty hard if we're in the same house and shes going of it first. Then my parents hear about it from a now very emotional sister and it gets turned on to me, i must be the one whos always starting it (basicly parents calling me a bullie etc) so im always the bad guy and all this has changed how my parents act towards me. Even though they assure me that they don't see me as the problem their actions,body language and facial expressions tell a totally different story. But they can't except that maybe im right, if not just a bit. Im getting hit know by selfish, pothead, totally self centred, that ive changed and got no brains left. They want me out the house, i don't want to be in the fuckin house becoz of this shit, im the bad guy and none of the problems are comin from their iggnorance (even though i really thought they we're quite liberal i see thats a crock of steaming dung), my dads "given up on me coz theyll never be able to change me" what gives them the fuckin right to think i need to be totally changed by them that just sort of proves my point, coz if they dont think theres something wrong me then why they want to change me? I don't think there's anything wrong with me, in fact i fuckin know it, i aint perfect and neither are they. And yes theres things id like to change but ill do that my way coz im gonna carry on growing but what ive embarked on im happy with, i might not be happy with bits but that i can change them, ive always beleived in using my brain to decide on things instead of just taking others word for it- we're all human, we make mistakes in our lives, theories, perceptions but those who blindly accept things are the ones who are damned. They want me out the house, and quite frankly i don't want to be in it but ive no job (after gettin sacked coz the twats wanted to cut back on wages-greed), no money and no way out at the moment where the hell can i go. Im sick of character assasination by my family who really have got it twisted (and stuck in their own way, assuring that they have some understanding but then proving anything ive said hasn't been accepted or understood, with alot of other things been taken wrongly or overegagerated). Even my uncle thinks ive changed even though he lives three hundred miles away, ive seen him for a few hours on christmas day and i haven't really had a chat with him (so its not coming from me) so it can only be commin from my mum, what else has she been saying to other people (what choice of words she been using)? I don't know, whats this got to do with skydiving, alittle coz it shows what people go through to do it aka living my live making my choices and it can get misunderstood and even when you think youve got somewhere with people you find you haven't and the shit goes on. I've even had the asspiring young criminal going on to bigger things just becoz i smoke weed. Please comment, advise, anything- im gonna keep replying and trying to explain stuff better but its complicated and involves a few years of life. What i really want to do is open up a big disscussion, say anything u want, so that later i can bring this back to my parents hopefully get them of my back, just not so holy than now full on hinden hate, atleast get it to surface coz until they realise that they have got it lob sided (not me, coz i think i might know myself a bit better than even my parents do) and that they have been doing alot of biased, hurtful shit always (since i was ikle) taking sisters side and actually doing this to me. If it goes much further, ill be the first to say fuck it and walk away (i din't want to turn my back but if we can't talk, and its always their opinions that are right without really listening to anything i say what other choice do i have?) Ive tried but im getting sick of trying coz its always the same outcome, if they do force me out than im unemployed, homeless and wiil probably never get to do what i want for quite a while (how can i save up to jump when £200 a week, if that, is gonna be going on so much else, if they truely did support me fully in what i want to do then this is going to put me well back but if i have to i have no problem doing it, i just hate this shit) Its hard to exlpain all the intricate things but im determined not to be the next in my family to have mental health problems, fuck it well and truely.

After reading his book, got respect for that guy- his mental problem he got through if i remember? Where did you meet him? Bet he does have some wicked stories.

Welcome to the darkside- anytime, fancy a drink in uk ill show you some beer, then some more beer, then some of the yocal "Im blind!!" beer then maybe ill go for the slightly lighter stuff (this is as lite as i go) a bud or two, then more BEER.

I must be one lucky dude, got the only whuffo mate that understands and asks me good questions back- only coz ive said so much about it hes buzzin to try it plus hes a snowboarder so not retatrded. Couple of othere mates are the same to the rest ive well given up, just snile insanley and act like your not all there or give them a full detailed explanation then they never ask again

Don't know wether im right or not but a couple of years ago i read a book by Tom (something) it was mostly about his life from paras, to the best in their display tea, to a hardass SAS muhfucker, to trying this attampt (his was going to be higer than Kittinger) to going insane and trying to kill his girlfriend because paranoia made him think "they" where after him- mind you if you read some of the shit this guy went through, especially getting royaly fucked by the crown for his services, you kinda see where he was coming from Anyway during his research into how he was going to do it (including using the russians surplasss space race gear) he visited kittinger and found out as much as he could from the horses mouth) and basicly he broke it on his third try (first try he wasn't under drouge, but after nearly killing himself he felt maybe he should try it on his next go - now thats balls of steel in anyones book) and he did break the sound barrier as his speed was recorded above it- technicalities may change the spped of sound thing but this muh flew. Also this is purley hear say but why would you feel the sonic boom its behind you?

AAAAGGGAAAAAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! I hate goddamn light beer, come to england we'll show you quality beer and how to drink it in huge quantities.

true, he jumped from 102,800 feet, fell usuing a pilot chute to stable himself, belly flying and over the speed of sound. I think the only record he didn't break was the freefall record because even though it was a kickass freefall (and the longest by far) he didn't freefall unaidied (because of the pilot chute) so the french dude might break a second record (other than the highest) if he falls unaided and for over 4 mins 30 secs (apprentice of the birdman suit inventor using one from not that high). Hey even i ve broke that french 12000 feet record on my second ever jump, a tandem at that.

Its true about the old hong kong approach awersome flying (landing looked ssooooo fun), sometimes i have the same problem brain like a sive but can remember stupid, otherwise, useless facts. Beleive me its an art

Cheers

Cheers really wish they did use shit and ain't, well im going to try design it myself (pseudo-chinese/graff). Got a mate who got some chinese writing and found it wasn't what he asked for, easy money, (never thought abou different dialects) but still it looks tight.

Bit of a weird one but does anyone know/speak/right in traditional characters "Shit ain't sweet" in Chinease. If so could you help me out some way (send them, point out websites). Ive been looking but can't find it and it would be cool if i could find something very close for the nex bit of my tat. Cheers

Cheers everyone for the advice, Well i got it done (so did my mate) didn't hurt just reminded me of when your at the barbers an they catch the skin with the electric razor. The worst bit was the anticipation about a mnute before it started (and did anyone else sweat like a pig in a steam room). Afterwoods it was like sunburn (only way i can describe it). Got some cream they recomended (just savalon) and ive been puttting that on regulary so it should turn out alright, scabbed quite a bit but hey. Anyone thinking about it just make sure the design and place is right and go for it. I promise you the pain is not anywhere near how bad you think its going to be (pinch yourself as hard as you can and it probably won't even hurt as much as that) rooftops and sunsets

Just sayin hey yall been away for a bit, so wats up. This is my last day as a tatoo virgin coz tommorrow its pain day. Gettin a tattoo on my chest/sholder top right a dubble tiger head tribal piece. So if your havin a shit day tommorrow arround 0ne pm my time then don't worry im in pain. Any tips on tattoos? Peace PS just like to say ooooooohhhhhhhhh!!! skymama how easily you offend.

Never been a big club type of dude, go ocaissonally with like minded friends usually get pissed off with the got-to-pull atmosphere and shite housed/dance playin. Why don't people just go out to have a laugh? seems that somepeople can't go out with out a hour briefing over what to achieve (easy laughing and a bad head the next ,morning). Pubs are beter (as long as they don't think there a mini club then you can't sit and talk/laugh/pissyourself because of again shit music blastin. Pubs, chillin with friends at different houses, drinkin, smokin, gaming experiences, and best of all music i like (hip hop, reggae, rnb) at the level i want. Shit if we want we start our own club, much better beats. If more clubs played mymusic more often, the amount of townie wankers decreased, pulling was a byproduct of just havin a laugh with your mates (instead of predatory game) and they played good music (get to the bar easier) then i would go out. But love what i do so don't give a FF.

SPLAT!! just my virtual pie going off safe landings....

you go girl! Go skreamer, go skreamer, its your birthday

True, too true

sweetie play nice now and share with the other children now. C'mon ladies cheer us all up

Is that a promise, only got to wait another 4 years, something to look foreward to

Hell yeah

Shit, well i saw this website right.....

Sounds like da redneck been grouwin up far from lil ole farm with cracker bob and his pig ugly sow.