scaryshari

Just a note - no intention to hijack - I'm a 400 "jump wonder" and have noted that many times new jumpers come through, fighting the "cool" factor of gear checks. I would personally like to know the source of the pressure for NOT checking your gear. It is your life, but something like a preemie can easily kill you or others around you (a simple pin check and a peek at your hackey takes how long?). Let's take care of ourselves and each other out there. Gravity/earth doesn't give a crap about any of our choices..be safe. is

Hey girl! Just get to the DZ, spend a day relaxing and just take it all back in. Don't rush yourself and get back in the air under your own terms. I betcha Mykel would take you on your refresher and get you back in the swing of things! We look forward to having you back Lauren!

I don't care much for football, but found myself watching this game. It was the best game (of any game) I have ever seen in my life! I would watch football if it was always this exciting!!! Amazing to see the great things that come from a team that believes in itself and its leader. So.....about that offensive line, and the Texan's lack thereof.....makes one wonder, huh? is

It really breaks my heart to hear of another bowler going in. Although he died from natural causes, is this still considered as an incident? is

So, let's make this fun and make captions for each one from top left clockwise... 1) AAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH!!! 2) sssssssheeeeeet! 3) SHIAAAAAAT!!! 4) oooooh! pooopy!! sorry, it's slow in the office today. is

My ex hubby was in a Krew member in the Mardi Gras parade each year. Knowing that I was NOT a flasher, he still begged and pleaded with me just to do it ONCE for HIM while he was throwing beads. I finally caved and we worked out a plan. He showed me which float was his (in the middle of the day the day before) and where he was assigned, etc, and I told him which intersection I would be standing at when he came through. I made it very clear that I would not pull my top UP and that I’d pull it out in front of me and he could toss a bag a beads at my boobies that way. SO THERE I WAS anticipating the moment of doing my big flash at my HUSBAND. So, here comes his float and he sees me, almost instantly, and begins hanging over the side and “signals” for me to flash. So I did. He gave me a huge bag of beads that I held onto with both hands. Whew! Was I glad that was over. I didn’t need any beads, I just wanted to watch the rest of the parade. BUT NOOOO. Suddenly, I hear SHARI! SHARI!! I look up and he was on the float behind the one I just FLASHED! AND THERE I WAS with my arms full of beads with this look of D’OH! on my face. Short story I didn’t flash my hubby at the parade. Wrong guy got the booby shot. is

...the worst one is the one you can't get away with: Laughing sooo hard that one just blasts out of your butt so hard that the room shakes. Then everyone laughs at your "mistake" and you laugh only to blow out another one. is

It's folks like you that fumigate glass elevators only to stand by and watch your victims puke all the way to their destination. However a little "slippage" no and then is funny. is

EEEEEEEW!!! Now I'll NEVER eat gravy again....never, ever, ever!! is

Years ago, while visiting my brand new father-n-law, he was showing me pictures of his daughter who I had not met. I noticed that her tummy was disproportional to the rest of her and asked "wow! You are gonna be a grandfather! How far along is she?" Okay...you know what the answer was... To say the least he didn't appreciate my question "SO THERE I WAS" Once again in a long string of my own "open mouth insert foot" stories. is

Prolly a repost..but here!! http://dsftraining.pptnet.com/erictest/lib/erictest/Schweaty_Balls.mpg is

That's just great. Just as i was recovering from the alligator nightmares....now this again!! is

eeewwww!! That made me throw up in my mouth a little... is

You CAN start a sentence with and although it MAY not be grammatically correct. .....i'm board. bored...bourd....boured.....booored. is

troll. is

Sorry, but that word just cracks me up, thanks to my former teammate (now in Taiwan). Short version: She hurt her shin on exit one day and later complained about the bruising to our cameraman. “It hurts and it’s still swollen from the bone.” Cameraman: “well, it looks like you have a boner.” So she innocently called it a boner….she had no idea!! “Soooo, Shari, what is a boner?” I just told her she didn’t have a “boner” and not to ask anyone else that question. Then we jumped on the plane and funneled another exit. Stupid boner. is

Can he sue to get the gun back? It is HIS. is

bastard. is

I stil have my plate and screws. My doc never indicated that I needed to have them removed. is

I still have super powers AND I ate another cookie. I'll never fit into my jumpsuit. is

I used my super powers. Seriously, what edit??? I changed my sig line... that's not an edit. is

I wouldn't try to "overthrow" you. Here......eat this. is

Great... What does the EMA stand for? I know the acronymn for the rest, as I say it as I'm walking around with one of those MF's in my hand.... Man...i'm a potty mouth today. I think I'll clean my mouth with another MF'n cookie. is

May I be in the Cookie Maker Hater Club? I'd like a CMHC# please... I've eaten 5 cookies today. bad, bad, bad. is

I'm still a virgin. is