eddytheeagle 0 #1 March 13, 2003 The 'Funniest Whuffo question' thread inspired me to write down some funny things said by skydivers (just to be sure, these didn't came out of my mouth ). "So you had linetwists again? Did nobody tell you you should open facing into the wind?" (this one made me think for a while ... but, when it's really, really windy...) A skydiver said his mechanical altimeter was 500 ft behind, upon which another skydiver asked: do you need new batteries? "I can determine the direction of wind from the sound my slider makes" "If you have soft-links, and your slider is lying in your neck, do you lose it when you cut-away?" "I suffered from stable turbulence when I came in to land" I guess the list goes on and on!Don't underestimate your ability to screw up! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masher 1 #2 March 13, 2003 Do you have to get your E licence before your F? . This isn't stupid, but good: 'May you always be able to write your own incident reports'-- Arching is overrated - Marlies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Samurai136 0 #3 March 13, 2003 2 jumpers are in the aircraft climbing to altitude. Jumper A: Which way is jumprun? Jumper B: (thinks) That Way! (points towards the nose of the aircraft) Ken "Buttons aren't toys." - Trillian Ken Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nacmacfeegle 0 #4 March 13, 2003 "Does my ass look big in this jumpsuit?" "Nope, but your rig looks smaller" -------------------- He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rdutch 0 #5 March 13, 2003 Funnies thing Ive seen: Im in the plane and two guy's, I take it kinda newbie, ask me how long should I give you. Me being the Smart ass I am say "Just wait until you see canopy" Then exit. I land forget all about it, then 5 minutes later they come in and let me know the pilot was rather upset at them for making him do another pass. I couldn't believe they actually sat in the door watching until they saw me open. #1 rule never listen to anything I say. Ray Small and fast what every girl dreams of! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
councilman24 36 #6 March 13, 2003 One of the classics: We're all setting on the ground, wind whistling through the hanger, trees whipping in the gusts, deciding if we're stupid enough to jump. What's someone say everytime. "Let's do a cross country!" And for those of you who think its a good idea; You're not sure you want to land at the DZ after a regular jump. But you want to land who knows where after screwing up a cross country spot?Of course, I don't think I've said it, but I have DONE it! I'm old for my age. Terry Urban D-8631 FAA DPRE Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BMFin 0 #7 March 13, 2003 QuoteFunnies thing Ive seen: Im in the plane and two guy's, I take it kinda newbie, ask me how long should I give you. Me being the Smart ass I am say "Just wait until you see canopy" Then exit. I land forget all about it, then 5 minutes later they come in and let me know the pilot was rather upset at them for making him do another pass. I couldn't believe they actually sat in the door watching until they saw me open. #1 rule never listen to anything I say. Those guys had a licence ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ernokaikkonen 0 #8 March 13, 2003 The proper way to do a cross-country is to exit directly above the DZ and see how far you can go. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #9 March 13, 2003 "I did look first, but i couldn't see anything so i just went." A jumper after an off airport landing on an "industrial hazy" day. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billdo 0 #10 March 13, 2003 I read this one in a book: Airborne recruit says to Jumpmaster, "Sergent, if my main parachute doesn't open, how long do I have to pull my reserve handle?" "Son," replies the sergent, "you have the rest of your life to pull the reserve handle." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bmcd308 0 #11 March 13, 2003 Reminds me of overhearing an AFF Instructor conversation with student (abbreviated): S: "What if my main does not open?" A: "Cut away and pull your reserve." S: "What if my reserve does not open?" A: "Walk toward the light." Said with no smile or wink or anything. Brent ---------------------------------- www.jumpelvis.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
betzilla 56 #12 March 13, 2003 That's SO Gobles. Now that I'm at this great big DZ, there's no such thing as an intentional cross country. But depending on who's flying, you might get a surprise one anytime here That's why I take my phone along when it's windy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
betzilla 56 #13 March 13, 2003 no it's much more fun to get the winds aloft report and try to plan the perfect spot... Where's the challenge in just getting out straight up and letting the winds take you where they may? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skr 1 #14 March 14, 2003 >wind whistling through the hanger, trees whipping in the gusts >"Let's do a cross country!" Must be in the skydiver genes or something. At Taft in the early 60's there weren't any trees, but there were oil derricks, and you could climb to the top, put on a harness, hook a 24 ft twill reserve on your front, pull it, shake it into the wind, and let it pull you off. Skr Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
diablopilot 2 #15 March 14, 2003 QuoteAt Taft in the early 60's there weren't any trees, but there were oil derricks, and you could climb to the top, put on a harness, hook a 24 ft twill reserve on your front, pull it, shake it into the wind, and let it pull you off. Skr You know Skr, every once and a while you say something that makes me realize the pioneers of this sport we men and women made of just slightly higher quality stuff! Glad you survived it.---------------------------------------------- You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Iflyme 0 #16 March 15, 2003 Quote 2 jumpers are in the aircraft climbing to altitude. Jumper A: Which way is jumprun? Jumper B: (thinks) That Way! (points towards the nose of the aircraft) Bwahaahhahhahah Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkyMissy 0 #17 March 15, 2003 "What, you don't think a brotha will get naked up in here?" -Anon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
robskydiv 0 #18 March 15, 2003 I'm getting a gear check from someone and they ask: "Don't you have an AAD?" My reply: "I have two." And then I show them both of my hands. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kmcguffee 0 #19 March 15, 2003 "It's the bounce that kills you. If you're going to burn in, grab the grass when you hit. That'll save ya." "Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do." Ben Franklin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pop 0 #20 March 16, 2003 QuoteFunnies thing Ive seen: Im in the plane and two guy's, I take it kinda newbie, ask me how long should I give you. Me being the Smart ass I am say "Just wait until you see canopy" Then exit. I land forget all about it, then 5 minutes later they come in and let me know the pilot was rather upset at them for making him do another pass. I couldn't believe they actually sat in the door watching until they saw me open. #1 rule never listen to anything I say. That's the funniest thing I've heard in a while. I will definitly have the same answer for a newbie when I get it. LOL7 ounce wonders, music and dogs that are not into beer Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
