oldwomanc6 38 #1 April 20, 2012 You all are funny. You argue with each other, and it doesn't even matter what the subject is. I'm curious to know what you each feel about the decision to sacrifice and stay home to take care of chillins full time. Do children deserve a full-time parent? Mom or Dad? Does it make a difference which? Or has two parents become so old fashioned as to make spending time with your kid unfeasible? If so, that's really sad, no one can love your child like you do. Yes, I know I have limited the answers by keeping it on topic but, I'm not looking for a massive view/answer notch on my belt, but rather discussion on where people are right now.lisa WSCR 594 FB 1023 CBDB 9 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jclalor 12 #2 April 20, 2012 I think Kids would be better off with any parent staying at home, I also think that if it takes two parents working for a child to live above the povery line, then that's what needs to be done. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wolfriverjoe 1,340 #3 April 20, 2012 Quote You all are funny. You argue with each other, and it doesn't even matter what the subject is. I'm curious to know what you each feel about the decision to sacrifice and stay home to take care of chillins full time. Do children deserve a full-time parent? Mom or Dad? Does it make a difference which? Or has two parents become so old fashioned as to make spending time with your kid unfeasible? If so, that's really sad, no one can love your child like you do. Yes, I know I have limited the answers by keeping it on topic but, I'm not looking for a massive view/answer notch on my belt, but rather discussion on where people are right now. I think it's a good thing, especially when the kids are young (pre-school). It takes sacrafices on the part of the parents to do it on one income, but it's possible if you make it a priority. I really don't think it matters which parent, dads love their kids as much as moms do, it's just non-traditional. My younger sister is a full time mom, and an old friend of mine has been a full time dad. Both plan on jobs (part-time at least) after the kids are in school full time, but both absolutely love that they are able to be with their kids full time. And both are good enough parents that their kids are turning out very well."There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy "~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 2,400 #4 April 20, 2012 >Do children deserve a full-time parent? Mom or Dad? Does it make a >difference which? I think children do best with a very small number of people who are there for them. Is that one, two or three people? All related or not? Is it full time, only when they are awake, or alternating? I don't think those things matter as much as having a few people that the child knows they can count on. In the olden days that was primarily mom, with dad next in line (when he was home) and grandma and/or aunts, uncles and family friends there to make up the slack. Today it might be mom and dad with an aunt (or a nanny) there for when one or both are working. In both cases the important thing (IMO) is that the parents make the child a priority and spend the time and effort that that requires. Often it's easier for mom to be that primary caretaker just because she can nurse and no one else can, so there's some bias towards the woman being the primary caretaker. But that's a minor point, and from the child's perspective a father who gives them a bottle isn't much different than a mother who gives them a breast. (At least after the first month after intestinal flora has been established.) >Or has two parents become so old fashioned as to make spending >time with your kid unfeasible? That's never OK. Parenting isn't a part time job. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Coreece 190 #5 April 20, 2012 I was a stay at home dad once...briefly. It was the best best time...I would do it again if I, as a man could actually be respected for it. Right after college, (I was 22) we decided to move and I was in between jobs...baby's momma (30) had a good job at a law firm and suggested that I just stay home with the baby. She thought he was too young for daycare...I obliged... Everything was grrrreat until one day she came home and said to me, (ME, coreece, the all american gun toting bad ass) "you're home all day and you can't have dinner ready?" I just about went insane! I had to remind this bitch who the man was...(btw, I love her...things are going well now. It's actually an amazing one-of-kind story...God is doing amazing things - not ready to share the details yet, if ever) ...anyways, that comment ruined it for me. I went out and got a job within 3 days., shipped the kid off to her sister's...then daycare. Personally, I don't think it matters...you just have to love em...the kid is great - 99 percentile in the country for math and science for his age group. He was doing high school math in 5th grade...plays football (defense like his dad) - went undefeated. Plays guitar, trumpet and drums, just like daddy...he still leans toward atheism like I did, but we're working on it...I don't force it...I have faith he'll come around someday like i did... Edit: Just to add...we had him doing some child acting in hollywood. I'm glad we left and got him away from that lifestyle. He has since shown interest in going into the airforce academy.Second edit: I just added my son and his mom as my profile pic...I'll do anything for them. Don't forget it. Your secrets are the true reflection of who you really are... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #6 April 20, 2012 QuoteI'm curious to know what you each feel about the decision to sacrifice and stay home to take care of chillins full time. I assume you are talking about sacrificing your job and/or some income to stay at home? I think it's heroic. Those that will do that are to be commended. QuoteDo children deserve a full-time parent? Mom or Dad? Does it make a difference which? Yes they deserve it and no it shouldn't make a difference if the parents equally capable. QuoteOr has two parents become so old fashioned as to make spending time with your kid unfeasible? Fashion? I don't know that I agree with that on the whole but one has to assume that there are indeed parents out there more concerned with appearances and worldly status.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #7 April 20, 2012 Seeing some of the parents around here ... the kids would be way better off without them!!! A feral dog could do a better job (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Coreece 190 #8 April 20, 2012 Quote Seeing some of the parents around here ... the kids would be way better off without them!!! A feral dog could do a better job I respectfully request you to expound, Sir Shrop...Your secrets are the true reflection of who you really are... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #9 April 20, 2012 I'm sure that you've encountered bad parents, right? I see folks swearing at their kids, hitting them, generally not leading by example ... It's not difficult having kiddies but boy is it difficult to be a parent. That these folks need help, is without question true, but in the mean time the kids suffer. (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billeisele 122 #10 April 20, 2012 Yes, kids deserve a full time parent. If they are lucky enough to actually know who their biological parents are that is a plus. IMHO too many folks sacrifice the opportunity to raise their kids in exchange for working so they can have more stuff. I laugh at my coworkers that complain about their kids, their bad behavior, poor morals, arrests, etc. - uhhh, it's no wonder, they were raised in daycare by other people that obviously didn't share your morals. A poll asking kids a question like this would be interesting: Thinking about your childhood, would you prefer to have a parent at home everyday when you got home from school to help with homework, play, etc., or would you prefer a bigger house, newer car, and more stuff? Granted, some folks MUST work and they do the best they can, but many don't need to work.Give one city to the thugs so they can all live together. I vote for Chicago where they have strict gun laws. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,122 #11 April 20, 2012 QuoteI think Kids would be better off with any parent staying at home, I also think that if it takes two parents working for a child to live above the povery line, then that's what needs to be done.This, with the caveat that it doesn't really have to be a biological parent -- Billvon's example of extended family counts just as much. I also think that having a parent at home when the kids come home from school is golden, even when they're teenagers. Or some kind of regular background-type contact with the kids. We always ate dinner together. Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
deltron80 0 #12 April 20, 2012 I wouldn't know about raising kids, but I suspect that kids tend to "turn out better" if there's at least one parent at home full time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,122 #13 April 20, 2012 Not so sure about that. For parents with the same level and skill, I'd imagine that generally having a fulltime parent is better than not having a fulltime parent. But a good part-time parent is way better than a fulltime parent who doesn't give a shit. Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
davjohns 1 #14 April 20, 2012 Both of my kids had a full-time mom until they started school. Looking back, I have to say it depends on the parent. A full time June Cleaver is good. Charles Manson....not so much. But in most cases, I think the early years should provide constancy and security. Then, increased socialization and variety. The ultimate goal is independence and a fully functional adult in the wild world.I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimmytavino 16 #15 April 20, 2012 good question. all children would benefit ( and so would parents) if they could be blessed with a Full Time person to BE there for them during the crucial early years. It's quite sad, when each day has to begin with a harried parent or parentS dragging the kid(s) out of a warm bed to bundle them up and take them to day care... To bad that , that is often the only choice that some people have....Working is a necessary Evil in this world, since so much of our lives is economically driven... When there is only One parent, they may have little choice. With two parents ( who KNOW how to work as a team ) the option for one to remain At Home is easier to excersize...A "stay at home parent" should NEVER be looked at as a "non working parent"... the demands are Huge, but so are the benefits to the kid(s) . Having the constant, of a loving Mom OR dad, to be there, can instill in the Child a great sense of security. Familiar surroundings at a place where they can be nurtured, taught, HELD and loved... cannot be equalled, even by the Hard working folks who tend to the children of others,,,, @ a Day Care location... While they may have all the best intentions,, there can simply be toooo many kids, for too few care givers....The stress in some such places can become unhealthy for all.. The key is to live within ones means, when the kids are little... If that means NO new car every 3 or 4 years.... then so be it. if it means 1 car payment instead of 2, or better yet NO car payment, so BE it. If it means less "going Out" and more "creative thinking" when making expenditures, so be it. Living cheaply, in financial terms can reap rich rewards emotionally, if it allows for Mom to be with the kids during the day... IF need be, it sure is fortunate to have a grand parent or TWO who are willing to help out, once in a while . When kids reach school age,, THEN the stay at home parent, can either Breathe a little easier once they get on the bus, or can if so desired, seek employment, perhaps part time. It is crucial, imho, to have SOMEone at home, when the kids get OFF the school bus, if for no other reason than to give that child a Hug...and better yet. to debrief the day, share a healthy snack, or OMG!! get the homework Done!!!If ya' gotta have the big house,, two fine autos, vacations multiple times a year, and extravegant outings a few times a month... best to have inherited a ton of $$$$$ of else have a fine and lucrative Job..... but if such a lifestyle limits the childrens time with MOM and DAD..... then a reconsideration of priorities might be better.... we lived poor,, when the kids were little, but not so poor as to be in debt, or forced to "do without". Mom was able to stop working for the 5 or 6 years when the kids were pre-school, and THAT my friends, was a Good thing... your mileage may vary. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
deltron80 0 #16 April 20, 2012 Quote Not so sure about that. For parents with the same level and skill, I'd imagine that generally having a fulltime parent is better than not having a fulltime parent. But a good part-time parent is way better than a fulltime parent who doesn't give a shit. Wendy P. I was spoiled with a perfect June Cleaver type stay at home mom, so I guess I'm severely biased. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shermanator 3 #17 April 21, 2012 I'm 28, married, with a three almost four year old, and one in the oven. Our goal was always to have mom stay at home, but financially, that was not possible. God has blessed us, and about six months ago, holly became a stay at home mom. It has been the best thing for all of us! I can see a difference in my daughter's attitude since the change. As for the sacrifice, yes, we are on less income, but not spending 700 a month on childcare. We don't get to go on dates as often, and live in a smaller two bedroom apartment. I have huge respect for stay at home parents. It is harder than a full time job! I know, I've done both! I have a lot of respeCLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08 CSA #720 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conundrum 1 #18 April 21, 2012 I was a stay at home mom for 2 years. I've never been a fan of people having babies and then throwing them in daycare so they can go back to work. I believe a child should have time spent at home with a parent for the first year or two of life. Care, nurturing, bonding, etc. I didn't have a baby so someone else could take care of it. I always said that if I ever had a kid I wanted to be able to stay home, and if I wasn't able to, I wasn't having a kid. It doesn't matter which parent, just that it's A parent. I think it's become too commonplace that people spit out babies and bam! daycare time. I dunno, something about it just bugs me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Coreece 190 #19 April 21, 2012 QuoteI have huge respect for stay at home parents. It is harder than a full time job No it's not...i'm so sick of hearing that.Your secrets are the true reflection of who you really are... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yourmomma 0 #20 April 21, 2012 I truly believe we should abort the child the mother and the father when a society has to ask what a parent should do. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Coreece 190 #21 April 21, 2012 QuoteI truly believe we should abort the child the mother and the father when a society has to ask what a parent should do. I don't like your tone, bitch...Your secrets are the true reflection of who you really are... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shermanator 3 #22 April 21, 2012 QuoteQuoteI have huge respect for stay at home parents. It is harder than a full time job No it's not...i'm so sick of hearing that. To each their own. In the time period that I lost my job, and my wife was working, I was more worn out at the end of the day staying home with my daughter than when I am working full time.CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08 CSA #720 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conundrum 1 #23 April 21, 2012 QuoteI was a stay at home dad once...briefly. Everything was grrrreat until one day she came home and said to me, (ME, coreece, the all american gun toting bad ass) "you're home all day and you can't have dinner ready?" I just about went insane! I had to remind this bitch who the man was... ...anyways, that comment ruined it for me. I went out and got a job within 3 days., shipped the kid off to her sister's...then daycare. Way to go dad! You took on the responsibility of a stay at home parent and you didn't fulfill your obligations, and you're pissed because she pointed it out? If you're a stay at home parent that's what you do. The housework, the cooking, the shopping, etc. No wonder you don't think stay at home parenting is hard work, you didn't do it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Coreece 190 #24 April 21, 2012 Quote Quote I was a stay at home dad once...briefly. Everything was grrrreat until one day she came home and said to me, (ME, coreece, the all american gun toting bad ass) "you're home all day and you can't have dinner ready?" I just about went insane! I had to remind this bitch who the man was... ...anyways, that comment ruined it for me. I went out and got a job within 3 days., shipped the kid off to her sister's...then daycare. Way to go dad! You took on the responsibility of a stay at home parent and you didn't fulfill your obligations, and you're pissed because she pointed it out? If you're a stay at home parent that's what you do. The housework, the cooking, the shopping, etc. No wonder you don't think stay at home parenting is hard work, you didn't do it. nice...you're a feisty little bitch just like my old lady. Turns me on.Your secrets are the true reflection of who you really are... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conundrum 1 #25 April 21, 2012 Quote Quote Quote I was a stay at home dad once...briefly. Everything was grrrreat until one day she came home and said to me, (ME, coreece, the all american gun toting bad ass) "you're home all day and you can't have dinner ready?" I just about went insane! I had to remind this bitch who the man was... ...anyways, that comment ruined it for me. I went out and got a job within 3 days., shipped the kid off to her sister's...then daycare. Way to go dad! You took on the responsibility of a stay at home parent and you didn't fulfill your obligations, and you're pissed because she pointed it out? If you're a stay at home parent that's what you do. The housework, the cooking, the shopping, etc. No wonder you don't think stay at home parenting is hard work, you didn't do it. nice...you're a feisty little bitch just like my old lady. Turns me on. Stick around and you'll get to know me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
