Whuffos are funny! top ten Q's

[drenaline 0]

Its fun to talk to a whuffo about skydiving, what are the most funny Q's you have recieved from a whuffo?

Here goes mine:
10- What happens if the main and the reserve fails in the same jump? What happens if everything fails?(DUH!!)

9- How does it feel to breathe with your skin? (HUH? are we amphibious?)

8- What happens if you don't jump but fall from the airplane at 12,000? (mm... I wait for somebody to throw me the parachute, then catch it and put it on.)

7- How do you move in the air? do you flap your hands like birds do with wings? or do you swim in the air? (HUH?)

6- What will happen if I pull this (reserve handle)? (DON'T!!!!)

5- What happens when you are out of the plane? (I think we fall...)

4- What will happen if you jump in a cloud and go all the way down inside the cloud until you hit the ground? (say again)

3- What will happen if you forget to pull and the reserve doesnt open? (squash?)

2- Is it fun? (lemme see I spend 50$ every sunday just to make 2 jumps, I don't have a gf cause I am a skydiver and can't give her any time, I don't have free sunday cause I keep jumping. Nope is not fun)

and the best, the one you were all waiting the numero 1

1- How can you spend 25$ a jumps on every sunday, you must have a load of cash to do that, I will become a skydiving instructor so I can make a load of money and be rich. (ROFLMAO! ok skydivers raise your hands all of you who are broke thanks to our lovely sport!)

I raise my hand!

Feel free to write the funniest Q's you have ever been asked.

HISPA 21
www.panamafreefall.com

[AggieDave 6]

This actually happened between a tandem student and one of the jumpers (me
"We guaruntee a landing with every jump."
"You do? (puzzled look) Well, it'd be bad if that didn't happen, right?"



Wow, that'd be bad if you didn't come down, well, then again, no it wouldn't

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[fool 0]

I'd raise my hand too, but it's currently looking for the money to fund the jumps for this coming weekend...and it's only monday (130 am monday at that...) Damn I love this sport.

S.E.X. party #1

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "f*#k, what a ride".

[drenaline 0]

ROFL!

Quote

"You do? (puzzled look) Well, it'd be bad if that didn't happen, right?"

Yeah we can go up instead of down and thats very bad cause we don't have space suit and once we reach space we will be in trouble, but we know that the space missions are always on the look out for skydivers and many of them get saved.

Like I said Whuffos are funny.

HISPA 21
www.panamafreefall.com

[gus 1]

Someone actually asked me once:

Q "Can you jump without a parachute?"
A "Only once", I said

And I had to point out that it was a joke! Whuffos are funny but mainly they're just missinformed. The longer I'm a skydiver the more I realise how little people understand skydiving.

Gus

OutpatientsOnline.com

[michaelseddon 0]

Q: " skydiving...do you have a death wish? what if the parachute doesn't open?"
A: "well actually we wear two parachutes...wah..two parachutes....."
most whuffos don't know much about skydiving but you'll be sure what they don't know they'll make up lol

[pack40 0]

I heard some questions like:

Q: "Do you have to buy new parachutes for every jump?"
A: "No, I do not have to, but I am rich so always I buy new ones to be trendy."

Q: "What happens if you at the door and you realize that you do not want to jump out?"
A: "Guess what..."

Newbie jumper at the course:
Q: "Yes, yes, yes, and when can we jump from bridges and when can we skysurf?"
A: "Soon..."

And the best question at our club. Newbie sitting at the course instructors are talking about emergency procedures and he says.

Q: "Do you have a TV?"
Q2: "Why??????"
A:"It is 19:30, and my favourite TV Series is just starting, can we watch it?"

OVER

[sitflyr 0]

I was showing a video of some of my jumps to a coworker when another guy walked in and started watching. After a few seconds, he said, "They play music for you while you jump? That's so cool!"

Julie

[flyhi 24]

Got in a verbal altercation with a whuffo who, after I discussed/explained tracking, just "knew" that to move forward, you extended your arms as far in front of you as you could. He saw it on Superman. And he was serious.

Shit happens. And it usually happens because of physics.

[SniperCJ 0]

Lets not forget the ever popular:

Q. Whats it feel like when you get jerked back up when you pull the ripcord.

A. Ummm, I think that would be against the laws of gravity...

[judedre 0]

next time youre on a load with first time tandems or aff student look at your wrist altimeter then talk into it then put it to your ear like youre listening to somethin then say to the newbie check yours see if its workin and then they start talkin into it and listening i find it hysterical maybe thats just my sick sence of humor

[dmddave 0]

Last year we were jumping a C-205 with no door. And while the TM was explaining the upcoming jump to his passenger he told her this and with an extremely quizzical expression she asked " Well how will we jump out ?" It actually took a about 5 seconds for the TM to realize she actually
what she meant.

[cliffharris 0]

Student: What do i do if my arms and legs start heating up in freefall?
Instructor: Pull them in a bit, they'll cool right down.

[SkyDolphin 0]

After I broke my femur a couple years ago someone in my office asked...

Q: What happened, didn't your parachute open?
A: I'm thinking that if my parachute hadn't opened I would have more than just a broken leg. Like maybe 6 feet of durt over my head.

R

[Enrique 0]

I've been asked:
If neither parachute opens, what kind of surface is better to land in? Mud or on top of some bushes?

(I really wish we had that choice.... it would really make a BIG difference, don't you think?)

[ifallout 0]

i like to offer them comfort on their first tandem, by telling them not to worry, that I heard them chew out the TM and they told him if he drops one more he is out of here.

besides whats the wrost that could happen?

Bill

have fun, love life, be nice to the humans

[beowulf 1]

question: When your parachute opens how fast do you go up?

Answer: I dont go up at all?

[jaybird 0]

skydolphin,
i got the same question a month ago when i broke my back. the sheriff walked up to me, i was on the ground, and said
"well son, did your parachute open?"
so i responded with.
"oh sir, it's not that at all, i fell out of those trees over there." then pointed to the treeline 200 feet away from where i was laying.

jason

blue skies and soft winds

[bbarnhouse 0]

My all time fav.
"How hard is the ground and does it hurt when you hit it?"

[gale 0]

The favourite one I can think of right now (and I've gotten it quite a few times) is:

Q: So, are you going to do stunts in the movies?

A: Yeah, because with 27 jumps I'm really their first choice. People think 27 is "so many jumps", it's tough for them to accept that lots of people have thousands.

Oh, and people say:

Q: "Isn't landing like jumping off a one/two (depends how dumb they are) story building"

A: Yeah, I do that all the time.

Then when I tell them I'm going to the nationals, they say

Cool, what are you competing in?

I usually say "sucking".

Gale

I'm drowning...so come inside
Welcome to my...dirty mind

[drenaline 0]

Yeah I forgot that one about the jump numbers.

Q: How many jumps you have?
A: only 40
Whuffo: 40?!? Sooo many? wow you must be a pro by now.

HISPA 21
www.panamafreefall.com

[skybytch 259]

Question asked of a jumper in plaster - "Did you do that skydiving?"

Answer - "Nope. Landing."

[konradptr 0]

How about a couple more...

Q: Do you pack your own chute? WOW!!!

Q: What if your parachute doesn't open? What if the second one doesn't open?

Q: Is it hard to breathe in freefall?

Q: How can you afford to jump 10-12 times a weekend? You must be rich since each tandem costs almost $200 a jump...

Q: What if you forget to pull?

I'll think of some more, I was thinking about getting a shirt printed up with the answers to the same 10 "stupid" questions that whuffos ask me... It takes too much time to answer the same 10 to everyone, it would be much easier to stand still and then ask any that might remain...

------------------------------------------
Getting banned isn't that bad......

[gravitysurf808 0]

The Latest.

After walking into work with some nasty scabs on my elbows and forearms which were the result of a downhill longboard skateboard spill I had the pleasure of demonstrating about a month ago. I was asked more than three times the exact same question by a few different co-workers:

(Whuffo Co-workers): DUUUDE!! What happened to your arms???..... ..... Did it happen while you were 'diving' ?????? ...hmmm??


(wtf?...over)

[B](Gravitysurf):[/B] Ummmmm... yeah dude. I did it while 'diving' from my skateboard to the f**king pavement!!!
Pssst. You might try a tandem when you think you have a clue... and Buh-Bye.


(edited by gravitysurf808...ooops almost forgot)

Got hit with the classic question just the other day that I heard for the first time ten years ago when I just started jumping and almost constantly since:

[B]Q:[/B] So have you ever heard about that one guy? Both his parachutes didn't open but he landed in a freshly plowed field and then he just walked away????

Will that one never die!???!!!!

[Emma 0]

Top 6
********

6.Q - So - you have FOUR HUNDRED JUMPS!!!! Can you do tricks and stuff like backflips?!
A - Yesss...it's considered the pinnacle of skydiving achievement....

5 - Is it like synchronised swimming?

4 - How far do you go up when the parachute opens?

3 - Do you have to wear army boots for landing?

2. Tandem passenger filling out indemnity certificate:
Tandem- 'Why does it ask on here for 'Next of Kin'?!'
E - 'In case you die.'
Tandem - 'Oh'


1. Tandem passenger's parent:
Parent - 'So how many do you lose each month?'
E - 'Lose?'
Parent - 'You know...how many..[hushed tones]...don't make it'
E - 'Oh, we only 'lose' around 1 or 2 a month' [JOKE!]
Parent - '1 or 2?' [Brightnening] 'That's not so bad then I guess, is it?'