Michele 1 #1 October 24, 2002 Today. Today will make the decision for me...keep jumping, or quit? Stay in the sky and learn how to come down safely, or stop altogether? After 3 hours' sleep, I haul my ass out of bed, and move through my morning ritual...and pack up my stuff, make sure I have my log book, and climb into the car. Driving through the predawn, I wonder...is today the day I crash and burn, or am I teachable? Can I learn, or will I put the Spectre on the market? When I come home this way tonight, I will know. I will have made that decision. Gloomy weather greets me, overcast, foggy, cold. I am alone at the DZ...I guess I came a little early. I get a cup of coffee, and check in at manifest. We talk a bit about Shannon's accident, and Bob's accident, and I wonder, again, is this sport for me? I sit outside of the team room, contemplating my toes...people start trickling in, and I know some of them. Hugs are exchanged, and backs patted, encouragement offered and accepted. Heidi comes over, and tells me she's taking the class too. She has 280 jumps, and is trying to downsize because she wants a new container and it needs a smaller main. Her goal is to get into the main she wants by the last jump of the class. She asks me what my goal is, and I respond "to see if I can land". She asks me how many jumps I have, and I tell her 40. I go back to staring at my toes. I don't grasp technical things easily - I don't have that kind of learning ability. I wonder if I am going to be able to learn, or if I just threw out $278 for nothing. I can feel my brain seizing already. My toes look interesting if I stare at them long enough. I need new tennis shoes... 8:45 am and the guys get there, and Jim opens the teamroom we will be using today. Me and Heidi go inside, and get settled. I pull out my notebook, and start taking notes. I am lost at this point, because I don't have a clue; he is working with Heidi on gear selection, and whatnot; I don't mind, though, because I can learn from this - maybe not right now, but sometime. The class moves forward, and we discuss many things - cords, spans, aspect ratios; angle of attack and angle of incidence, and what the difference is, and how the difference feels; the 3 senses used in flying. Wingloading, differences in canopies and sizes, and why they are totally different and will fly differently even at the same wing loading. The four ways to control the canopy; turbulence; landing safely. Speed, lift, low pressure and high pressure, crossbraced and non-elliptical canopies. How to establish a sight pattern at 2500, how to identify where you want to land. How to determine from where you landed what you need to do next time to land where you want to. How to analyze by the way you land what was wrong, and make the corrections for the next time. The different parts of canopy flight; opening sequence, flight, and landing. And sometime during this long and complicated sorting of puzzle pieces, I feel a little click...I say "hey, did you see that?" and Jim and Heidi look at me...."the lightbulb over my head. Did you guys see that?" They laugh. Something made sense, finally. Something about reaching and rubberbands connecting arms and legs during the flare. Something about line lengths, spans and stall points....it's like finding the key to the puzzle for me. And all of a sudden, I am participating in the class, not just taking notes and hoping something will make sense, but having it actually connect, click, register. I finally get some of it! Not all of it, not even half of it, but some of it. Well, at least on the ground. But I have no idea if everything will leave once I'm in the air... 1 pm, and it's cleared up, not gloomy but still chilly. Jim and I talk a little bit about jumping the 230 and not the 210, which I brought, and we decide together that this would be the optimum time to start on the 210. Jim asks me what color my canopy is, and I tell him green and purple, with a big yellow center cell...kinda like me, bruised and chicken. He laughs, gives me a hug, and says "you're gonna be fine". I count the stitches in my shoes....I want to be fine, but I dunno. I just dunno. And we decide that I'll jump in jeans, and several shirts, not a jumpsuit, because I don't want to wear the jumpsuit today for some reason. We are on a 20 minute call - and I am feeling rushed, hurried...I throw on my gear, and catch up to Clint, who will be jumping with me for the first high alti clear and pull...I am fussing with my chest strap and trying to listen to the exercises Clint wants me to do, and trying to be able to accomplish both. I don't want to get on the plane without being fully geared and ready, but Clint's going up the stairs, so I follow him. How he's going to keep up with me while I am flying the 210 and he is flying something so much smaller and at such a higher wingloading I don't understand, and resign myself to not having him near me...I finally get the chest strap dealt with as we start to roll down the runway. Clint leans over, and talks me through the jump again...pull, check, stall. Stall. Stall. Stall. Stall. Check brake lines. Stall stall stall. Rear risers. Rear risers. Rear risers, stall. Follow him around the sky. Stall. 2500, he will leave me, and I need to watch him land, and set up for my landing on the grass with the target. O.K., thinks me, I can do this. Even if he's not near me, I know what I'm supposed to get done, I can do this. 6K, and Clint asks me what I'm supposed to do on the jump. "Get out and pull", I say and can feel my brain lock down. What else? Oh shit, what else? Ohmigod, I have forgotten what else. "Um, control check", shit, now, here's the fear. I realize I am sitting next to the door, and my heart pounds. I'm going to be jumping a canopy smaller than I'm used to, and fuck, I can't remember! It's like hitting a brick wall in my mind, I can feel the thoughts pushing, but not going anywhere. Clint laughs at me. "Getting out and pulling's a good start"....his eyes are twinkling, and he is laughing. I take a few deep breaths from my belly, and can taste the panic in my mouth, sharp, dry, metallic. Fuck! 10K and it's time to get ready...goggles on, helmet on, please God, I've forgotten, help...Green light. Heidi goes, Luigi follows. I watch them out and see their canopies open. My turn. Breathe, Michele, breathe. Climb out, swing leg, launch off, tumble, tumble, tumble...arch, breathe, relax, arch, reach, pull....and out my canopy comes... There and square. Reach up to collapse the slider. Well, that's not much of a reach. Pull the stowing ropes, feel them pop to the final point, and the slider is right in my face. Hmmm. What to do with this? I can't see in front of me with this thing here. Push it back up over the top of the risers, make mental note - find out what to do with this. Pop brakes. Control check. Look around - where is Heidi, Luigi? There they are - way far away from me. Good. Where's Clint? Nowhere in sight. O.K., time to start checking this canopy out. Stall....well, full flare, and my hands are down past my hips, and I am not stalling. Release. I see something out of the corner of my eye, there Clint is....swooping down at me. I flinch, and then remember that this is a guy who knows what he's doing, and don't turn out of his way. Let him come to me. How the hell is he doing that? He's staying level with me. How the fuck is that happening. Majik risers, I guess. He motions "stall" at me, so I do it again. And again, and again...holding it down for a slow count to 8...and feel the most slightest tremor in the lines, but I am at maximun extension, I can't go any farther....and still, no stall. And it's really, really cold. My ears are hurting. No time for worrying about that, here comes Clint again... Clint flies really near me to my right, and screams "rear risers now". I grab the left rear riser, and pull as hard as I can, really holding it there. I swing out and around, and complete a 360, and let it up. Clint's right there with me...and now, right rear riser turn...360...and again, and again. Clint comes close, and says "both now", rear riser flares...and I try, but I can't get them to go very far or do very much...and now Clint is flying off, and I follow, swirling and dancing through the damp cold air. Turning, circling, sashaying, a pas de deux with a red canopy in the blue sky. Over the hangar now, and Clint sets up to land. I follow, and get into position. I turn onto final very high, though, and know I will not make the target. So I look to see where it's likely I will land, sailing over the grass area, now overshooting the grass by about 25 feet. Flare, full extension, and touch down...and then to my knees. My forward speed was not gone so I tumbled to my knees. BUT NOT MY FACE!!!!!! I look over at Clint who has landed about 20 feet to my left, and smile. "Girl, why'd you fall? Use your feet, o.k.?" Jim comes over, and says great timing on the flare, that's fine. Let's go see the video and watch what you did and why you still had speed. We get back over to the packing area, shuck our gear, and get to the video. There it is, the top of my flare is far too fast, and I plane out at about 8 feet...and then there's not much left for the end. We determine that the risers are way too small for me - they're 18 inches, and I need 21 inches. That will make a huge difference in no winds, but for today, they are o.k. And that's why the slider was in my face too. I don't need to yank that hard, I guess... Time to go again, and this time I'm ready. Gear on, fear gone, in the plane, up to 5, and out I go. Tumble spin...arch, breathe...pull. Out, open, there, square. Rear risers. More rear risers. Find the dz, get there, play. Stall...well, still not there, and I'm not taking wraps...so play. Toggles, risers, back to toggles. 360, 720's....swing out from underneath...feeling and seeing and listening...the class is making more and more sense...2.5K, landing set up...sight picture, plan, play a little more. Everything is so quiet, just me and the canopy. Just me hooting again, sceaming exhuberantly into the blue, into the heavens, into the world. I can do this shit! I understand it! I grock this shit! But gawd, my arms hurt....landing time, now, and I realize I've played too long...I will not make the grass. I've gotten off the windline, and will not make it back. I flat turn onto final, and full flight, breathe, breathe, and slowly, gently, smoothly flare and set down in BFE on my toes, no steps, no stumbles, nothing but toes...and throw down my helmet because I didn't plan it right, and was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out there...past the canals, past the dirt bike area. It's gonna be a long walk back. And then I grin, and do the Snoopy happy dance, because even if it wasn't near, it was right, gentle and easy, and I am bursting with hope and pride. I walk back to the packing area, and drop my gear. JC asks me "hey, Michele...where'd you land?" and I reply "Hemet"...Jim tells me that he can't critique this one because it was too far away, but he did get it taped. We'll watch the tape, but this jump doesn't count because he can't really give me any help. We do watch the tape, and you really can't see anything other than how nicely I land. I look at Jim, and say "well, I landed perfectly. Now teach me to swoop", and he cracks up. One last jump for today, and so I gear up and get over to the plane. JC is coming up with another student, but is sitting at the door. He and I talk about where to exit, how to determine where to be at what point in the air, and now it's time. Door opens, we lean out, spot the dz, and finalize my exit point. I look down at JC, and grin. He grins back, all crinkly, and says "GOOD JUMP!!!!" and I nod. Take a breath, and out I go, tumbling through the greyblue of the sky, and arch...pull, and there I am, under canopy. I look over and see the plane, flying silver cylindar etched against the crisp blue sky above the ground mist, and realize again what this is: it's flying. I am awash in the awe and wonder again, on jump 43...alone, in the sky, touching the universe, in this solitary moment. Just me and the sky, me and the world, gently blending...infinitesimally small, but made large by the grandness of this moment, this union, this experience. I play, now. I dance, soloing for the angels, playing with the air, feeling the difference as I gently glide down through the clear air into the ground mist, seeing the edges smooth out and melt into each other. I create a stall-rear riser-toggle dance for the watchers, whomever they are....and I smile. And the dance is over now, time to land. My sight picture is far better this time, although as I turn onto my cross wind leg, I realize I will undershoot the target, but I'll get as close to it as I can...Deep braked turn, and full flight, breathe, and now, gently, o.k., well, that wasn't so gentle...and hold it, and no reaching and, and, and, now finish it out...and I am about 5 feet off the end of the grass near the student circle, and I slide a bit, and go down to one knee. But I know what I did wrong. I know why it was there and not where I wanted it. I understand it. No matter that I wasn't perfect...I will be, someday, but for now I'm just learning. Jim and I agree that in two or three weeks, I'll come out again, and finish the class. In the meantime, I have some homework to do, some risers to swap, and some pride to revel in. I pack up and start the long drive home, and wonder at how sore my upper body is. I am so proud of myself, and know that there was much accomplished today, both technically and personally. I think about the day I've just had, and recall the work I put in to my flying today. And I understand that until today, I have not really been flying my canopy...but rather, I've been along for the ride, at the mercy of the winds and the ground, a passenger instead of a participant. And now, while I shall never truly conquer the winds and the earth, I do understand that a mutual understanding can be reached...but I have to fly, not ride, for that understanding to be respected. I am learning to fly. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy 0 #2 October 24, 2002 WOW....it was great reading this Michele. I for one am so glad you're backSassy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cajones 0 #3 October 24, 2002 Congratulations on your breakthrough! Wear your new lightbulb with pride! The laws of physics are strictly enforced. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
prepheckt 0 #4 October 24, 2002 congrats....I really enjoyed reading your story..I remember when I felt like that. But, like you I will take a canopy class. "Dancing Argentine Tango is like doing calculus with your feet." -9 toes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BikerBabe 0 #5 October 24, 2002 Michele, So glad to hear you had a good day! I think I can remember vividly every one of the days like that I've had...where something just clicks and I finally GET it. It's so amazing! But humbling, too, eh? Like you've come so far, then you relaize there's so much more to learn. But you know you'll be able to learn it when the time comes. Congrats!Never meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanuckInUSA 0 #6 October 24, 2002 Keep at it Michelle. There will be days when you can do no wrong and then days were you seem to take a step or two backward (like on no wind days, in which can you're actually needing to run out your landings). But as long as you are being safe and having fun. That's what count doesn't it? Try not to worry about the things you have no control over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhreeZone 15 #7 October 24, 2002 Michele.. I need to kick Q's rear for getting such weird colored canopy then selling it to you... good job on the learning... and on the FIRST jump on your own canopy.. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!Yesterday is history And tomorrow is a mystery Parachutemanuals.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
174fps 1 #8 October 24, 2002 so.... how many stiches DO your shoes have? c'est les mots que ventres bien ensemble.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cornholio 0 #9 October 24, 2002 WOOOHOOO!!! Way to go Michele!! Glad to hear that you did so well and that you are not giving up. Keep up the faith - it will all work out if you keep practicing and don't give up. - Matt Butthead: Whoa! Burritos for breakfast! Beavis: Yeah! Yeah! Cool! bellyflier on the dz.com hybrid record jump Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica 0 #10 October 24, 2002 Gooooooood job Michele. Quote Like you've come so far, then you relaize there's so much more to learn. I feel like this on every jump. Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meathorse 0 #11 October 24, 2002 Another good Michele read. Glad there will be more to come Quote I can feel my brain seizing already. My toes look interesting if I stare at them long enough. I need new tennis shoes... That made me smile Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hooked 0 #12 October 24, 2002 WooHoo! Good for you Michele! Someday, I will learn from this great post you just wrote. Like you, I will probably need a class in Canopy control as I have a hard time with technical stuff. Keep up those good landings! J -------------------------------------- Sometimes we're just being Humans.....But we're always Human Beings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybytch 259 #13 October 24, 2002 Great story Michele! I'm so glad the light bulb went on for you. Sounds like you learned a lot. Guess I'm gonna hafta take the course soon; can't have a 43 jump wonder landing better than I do Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viking 0 #14 October 24, 2002 rock on Michele glad to see you getting back in the air.I swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver My God has a bigger dick than your god -George Carlin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #15 October 24, 2002 Woohoo, Michele! I think it's great that you are learning more about your canopy. I took the class here at about 40 jumps, and then some more at 200 jumps. You can never know enough! Don't sweat it about not being able to land on your feet. I had the same problem, and for some reason, I think it's quite common for women. I get a nice surf out of my Sabre 2 170 now and usually land on my feet (I still have some mishaps). But, it wasn't until I hit about 120 jumps that I started to do it consistently.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jceman 1 #16 October 24, 2002 Michele, It's not nice to make an old man cry, but you did just that. I'm so happy for you. Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, more money. Why do they call it "Tourist Season" if we can't shoot them? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dterrick 0 #17 October 24, 2002 Quote And then I grin, and do the Snoopy happy dance, because even if it wasn't near, it was right, gentle and easy, and I am bursting with hope and pride. Congrats Michele... Right, Gentle, and Easy are words I'd use to describe my downsizing demos ofthe last 2 weekends. Going from a 1:1 F-111 to an ZP eliptical at 1.25 is a real rush. I think I got a bit flare-scared at about jump 60 when a similarily skilled friend hooked in. From 600 ft. away I heard the THUD and saw the bounce. Yes, he's OK, no he didn't Femur, but the doc said it would have been better than what he did to his knee. Call me chickenshit but the Very Last Thing I wanted to do when I was consistently thumping my landings was to downsize and go faster (and maybe dig a deeper trench?). But one senior all but insisted that I take his Sabre 210 for a rip. Same lightbulb. Same dance. I came just 1 step from nailing the cookie on a no-wind landing. The ride, a 4000 ft hnp (it's daaaamn cold in Manitoba right now) re-acquainted me with my belief that all the drills I had been doing under my doggy canopy were really doing something after all. Suddenly did you feel like "hey, this thing over my head is now doing what I thought it should be doing all along?" I did. Then I hooked up with the Jonathan 170. Um...wow? I've driven some pretty twitchy racing cars in my time (Hi, I'm Dave and I'm a Recovering Car Guy) but the Jon was something else again. This thing had ESP and in just 3 3500 ft jumps I realized that I was in control and would only give control back if I also lost RESPECT for the fact that I was merely poking at some very predictable laws of physics with a pointed stick. Nine out of ten voices inside my head said "do it again" It's great to hear your story. Meet ya over the swoop pond in, say, five years? the Dave Life is very short and there's no time for fussing and fighting my friend (Lennon/McCartney) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChileRelleno 0 #18 October 24, 2002 So emotionally torn, I'm glad it ended happily. ChileRelleno-Rodriguez Bro#414 Hellfish#511,MuffBro#3532,AnvilBro#9, D24868 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #19 October 24, 2002 [hands Jack a tissue...stop that right now!] Quote Suddenly did you feel like "hey, this thing over my head is now doing what I thought it should be doing all along? What's interesting was that I had exactly the opposite feeling...hey, this sorry sack of potatoes hanging under this thing finally understand what happens when "a" or "b" occurs...and what to do (or not do) to handle it. It has never been the canopy - and it has always been "me"...my participation, my knowledge, my understanding...my actions/inactions. And yes, I'll meet you at the swoop pond in 5 years - sooner if you want to picnic there... Chili, dude... Quote I'm glad it ended happily. It hasn't ended. It has, honestly, just begun.....Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Keith 0 #20 October 24, 2002 Way to go Michele!!!! Welcome back!!! Keith Don't Fuck with me Keith - J. Mandeville Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 3 #21 October 24, 2002 Quote We determine that the risers are way too small for me - they're 18 inches, and I need 21 inches. That will make a huge difference in no winds, but for today, they are o.k. Michele -- Can you elaborate on what their criteria for determining this was? I'm finding it difficult to believe that three inches in riser length is going to make all that big of a difference at your canopy size and wing loading. Yes, I understand that at Luigi's MUCH SMALLER canopy size and MUCH LARGER wing loading, it may become quite significant, but I would not have thought so in your case. If, in fact, there actually is a difference at your canopy size, I'd like to be able to understand that. BTW the reason I ask this is, from my current understanding, riser length has more to do with reserve container length and how things are made at the manufacturer than anything else.quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhreeZone 15 #22 October 24, 2002 Length of risers also moves the stall point up or down by the same height that the length difference is. Since she cant stall the canopy, and pulling in 3 inches of brake lines is'nt the best way of changing the flare/stall points... adding 3 inches to the risers will do it. It will also move the flare point and the control range on the canopy. Overall I think having a higher control range and the ablility to lengthen the brakes to lower it by an inch or less if needed is better then over fingertrapping the lines. I've seen 25 inch risers custom built for a guy with REALLY long arms. I jump 21's but have used 23's and it was a big difference. The slider was almost out of reach and the stall point was at lower chest level instead of at my hips. The difference on riser length will be able to be noticed on any size canopy at any loading.Yesterday is history And tomorrow is a mystery Parachutemanuals.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Luna 0 #23 October 24, 2002 Yay Michele! I'm SO happy for you! Feels much better, huh? You are awesome! I'm walking a marathon to raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Click Here for more information! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #24 October 24, 2002 Very cool Michele. Thanks for sharing your adventure!! ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 3 #25 October 24, 2002 Well, if that's the reasoning, then you said it yourself . . . Quote and pulling in 3 inches of brake lines it's the best way of doing it... I don't know of a lot of brakelines that can't accept being shortend by 3 inches just by re-doing the fingertrap at the toggle attachment point. I see no need whatsoever to swap risers if that's the reasoning.quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
