cloudseeker2001 0 #51 October 10, 2003 I am with Bill2.....................Good points! Relationships are, at times, really hard to keep together. But, if you are BEST friends with each other, really communicate with each other, and be very honest and open and make an effort to "protect the fort" so to speak, then the pay off is more than worth the effort! And too, remember you are your own person and you need to invest in yourself-whatever that is-and then bring it back into the relationship. Keep things fun and new! And NO mind games-that just pisses people off and builds resentment! Just like someone here said, little things, a rose, surprise dinner or whatever really touches the heart! Well, a rose would not do anything for my g/f, but, last friday we sat in the middle of the Kroger parking lot eating Marble Slab icecream in the back of my jeep and had a kickass time! It was one of those moments where she could not hide the happiness in her eyes! It was great! Now if I could just get her skydiving again! DAMN! "Some call it heavenly in it's brilliance, others mean and rueful of the western dream" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrumpySmurf 0 #52 October 10, 2003 "This is so amazing, how many guys pretend that they are saints and that they have a heart of gold etc, when in the recent past, they have cheated on multiple GF's, had 2 GF's at once etc. They try and play it up like they are this really sweet loving guy, and they are not a monster. grr... " While others of us work at trying to come off as right bastards. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Dumpster 0 #53 October 10, 2003 Late into this thread - Really late - I really can't say anything that hasn't already been said - I've been married twice, divorced once, and been in a handful of semi-serious dating relationships in between. And if any of y'all know me at all, the second time married ain't a cakewalk right now. I've got just as many strong points and faults as the next guy - I will never, ever claim to be perfect. My advice to anyone - If you're considering marriage - Stay engaged for at least a year, preferably longer, before you set a date. And make sure you know yourself beforehand. I mean REALLY know yourself. Wish I realized all that long ago!! Easy Does It Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites diablopilot 2 #54 October 10, 2003 QuoteI have some tips for women about how to make a relationship last.. You forgot one.... E) and make me a nice sammich...... Yer going to hell, you know that right?---------------------------------------------- You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Nightingale 0 #55 October 10, 2003 What I've learned from my own relationships and watching my friends and family in relationships: 1. don't try to change someone. Its like trying to teach a pig to sing. It doesn't work and it annoys the pig. (not saying men are pigs, of course, just making an analogy ) 1a. there are several things you can never change about a man: a. his family b. his friends c. what he's passionate about d. his favorite sports teams or the amount of time he spends watching them. if you have issues with either a, b, c, or d, you should probably consider moving on. 2. don't ever date anyone who's dated a friend or relative, no matter how hot the person may be. ain't worth it. 3. don't date someone you have to work with. being together virtually 24/7 ain't healthy. 4. quit looking for perfection. it doesn't exist. sooner or later, everyone's going to piss you off. Doesn't mean you can't patch things up. Just means that nobody's perfect. 5. if your significant other is doing something to annoy you, SAY SO. don't just expect them to fix the problem on their own when they don't even know it bugs you. (this is only over little things...big things, you either have to accept or not, and if not, move on) Most human beings can't read minds. 6. if it involves non consensual physical pain, it ain't love. move on. 7. just because someone says they love you isn't any reason to either sleep with them or let them borrow your car. 8. just because someone says they love you, it doesn't necessarily follow that they actually mean it. on the flip side, just because someone doesn't actually say it, it doesn't mean they don't. For some people, the actions are easy but the words are hard. 9. watch how someone treats the servers in a restaurant... its a good indicator. 10. we all do stupid things on occasion... find out the intent behind the action before passing judgement. many times, what we believe is a deliberate slight is merely a lapse in judgement on behalf of the other party. 11. as my aunt told me once "God gave men two heads and only enough blood to use one at a time." course, women have also been known to think with their below the waist bits on occasion. Doing stupid things because of lust is not a male-only trait, its a human trait. however, it isn't an excuse for breaking previously made commitments. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites chaoskitty 0 #56 October 10, 2003 I have not had any problems with relationships since I came to the realization that dating is horseshit. Jaded?? ...perhaps.... or am I just incredibly smart? At least I have a good attitude! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #57 October 10, 2003 Quote8. just because someone says they love you, it doesn't necessarily follow that they actually mean it. If a women says to a man "I will only sleep with a man who loves me." The woman will hear "I love you." If she says she will sleep with a guy who believes in ESP and the Easter Bunny, she will hear "I knew you were going to say that because I am the Easter Bunny." Quote10. we all do stupid things on occasion... Forgiveness is such a tough thing, but most of the stupid stuff is little stuff, sometimes just let it go. Quote11. Doing stupid things because of lust is not a male-only trait, its a human trait. Wait, I disagree. I think women should continue to use lust instead of logic for decision-making. A guys gotta go with his strengths. I think everyone (of either sex) knows someone of both sexes who are dating a good-looking jerk. Some people believe that you are who you date. Intelligent, good-looking, classy... whatever the need is. Trying to reinforce some self-esteem. (edited for markup) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites ChasingBlueSky 0 #58 October 10, 2003 QuoteAh, just like you can't expect to find someone to [I]complete[/I] you. You are already complete, whether you are fully aware of it or not. You need someone who [I]compliments[/I] you. EXACTLY! What you and qtnsassy just said are the two most important things. The rest falls into place._________________________________________ you can burn the land and boil the sea, but you can't take the sky from me.... I WILL fly again..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites vonSanta 0 #59 October 10, 2003 QuoteI have not had any problems with relationships since I came to the realization that dating is horseshit. Jaded?? ...perhaps.... or am I just incredibly smart? At least I have a good attitude! Amen to that. Yer smart, not jaded I'm even smarter though. *I* haven't had *any* relationship problems since I started avoiding them Huh - smart huh Some just gots it! Santa Von GrossenArsch I only come in one flavour ohwaitthatcanbemisunderst Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iam 0 #60 October 10, 2003 Treat women like carpets - lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for years"Don't ever knock on deaths door, just ring the bell and run away - it really pisses him off" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites pa2themd 0 #61 October 10, 2003 QuoteTreat women like carpets - lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for years REALLY!!!!! "Most of us can read the writing on the wall; we just assume it's addressed to someone else!" Ivern Ball Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites iam 0 #62 October 10, 2003 Quote REALLY!!!!! Only ones that actually look liks carpets........"Don't ever knock on deaths door, just ring the bell and run away - it really pisses him off" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites WrongWay 0 #63 October 10, 2003 Okay, lemme rephrase all that, and put into words where I'm coming from. What I meant by "dont let her know you really care" was this. Don't let her think that she has you so close that she can do anything to you and still have you begging like a puppy. Me, for instance, I'm very affectionate. I do lots of little "sweet" things like the buying of flowers at random, and even though I've made mistakes in the past, I'm very VERY faithful. Normally all this is okay. But, if I pushed it one more step towards how I usually act, the girl knows I'm attached, and then uses that against me. I'm not saying that's what ALL women will do, it's just my experience. So I definitely could have worded that differently. Let her know you care, and show her how you feel, but don't push it, be very subtle. And what I meant by "let her know she could lose you at any time" was worded WAY wrong. What I meant by that was don't let her know she has you so attached that she can do anything to you and still keep you around. It can't turn out good if you do. So there, hope I clarified things a bit. Oh, and some other stuff I'd like to add. 1. Listen. 2. Kisses on the forehead at night are better than kisses on the lips during the day. (Well, I guess that all depends on who it's with ) And the MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD: THE IDEAL RELATIONSHIP IS ONE IN WHICH YOU DON'T HAVE TO TRY. I could not stress that enough. It's a great thing to go out of your way for your SO, doing sweet things at random, things like that. But the should never be necessary for a relationship to work, EVER. If two people truly love each other, they will just want to be together, and nothing else will matter, and they will stay with you through thick and thin, just because you're you. They shouldn't use your mistakes to their advantage, or say things like "you've never given me flowers". Being in love is all about wanting to be with one another, unconditionally. It's a simple as that. Edited to add: One more thing, HONESTY. Honesty and trust are the most important things in a relationship. If one of these two things are absent, you might as well forget about it. Ladies, I know it's tough sometimes, but if something's wrong and we ask what it is, don't say "I'm fine." Seriously, sit down and talk about the problem. We're not gonna jump down your throat (unless you want us to). Honesty and trust are CRUCIAL. Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites miked10270 0 #64 October 10, 2003 A checklist for folk who've come out of a long term relationship: 1. Mope about the house for at least a week. Pig out. No housework. Junk food only. This is the time for you to "retox" on pizza, chocolate, soft ice cream and hard liquor. 2. Commence intense affair with someone you were serious with in the past, ideally someone you almost married. Take things much too far much too fast (while not actually moving in with him/her). After 6 weeks suddenly sit bolt upright in his/her bed at 4am and realise just why you got out of the relationship last time. 3. Purchase unfeasibly powerful car or other totally irresponsible major purchase. 4. Have at least 3 one-night stands. 5. Have at least 3 short lived & intense affairs with totally unsuitable people including at least one of each of the following: a) 18 year old (it's about time you found out about the "generation gap"), b) person at least 20 years older than you (yep. The "generation gap" works both ways), c) "Free-Spirit" who believes that society's attitude to drugs is too narrow minded (try and see hime/ her WITHOUT being introduced to their probation officer), (4) & (5) above can be combined to some extent. Then, and only then are you ready to go into another stable relationship with a fellow sane & well adjusted person. Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Tonto 1 #65 October 10, 2003 QuoteOK, sounds interesting. Not sure how much I have to offer, but based on three live-in relationships that lasted over a year and two marriages (one for 18 months, the other 14 years and counting), here you go: 1) Better be friends first. The romance has peaks and valleys, the hot sex comes and goes, but you can carry through a lot of rough spots if you just plain old like to hang out with each other. 2) Be willing to change for shit that doesn't matter, and make sure they understand that you won't change some things no matter what. Be flexible, but make sure your SO understands where your personal boundaries are. 3) If you win an argument, apologize immediately . 4) Make sure you have your own things. My wife and I have been together 20 years, and only opened a joint checking account when we had to deposit our joint tax refund check. and finally (and sorry to sound like a traitor to my gender): 5) If you find a woman who's willing to put up with all your bullshit, hold on tight, don't let her go! Iceman You got my vote! tIt's the year of the Pig. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites wildblue 4 #66 October 10, 2003 QuoteTHE IDEAL RELATIONSHIP IS ONE IN WHICH YOU DON'T HAVE TO TRY. If that's the definition of the 'ideal relationship' ... then I seriously doubt such a thing exists. Every relationship takes work, some more than others. Unless you're both incredibly lazy people, you can't just do nothing and expect life to be wonderful. A friend of mine used to have some cheesey saying at the bottom of her emails, but it always stuck with me (I don't know where it originally came from: "To love someone is to learn the song in their heart, and sing it back to them" -- I think this applies to everything from giving cookies instead of flowers (because they think flowers are a waste but cookies are the best thing ever) to knowing exactly what it is that makes the person you're with feel special - and that sometimes takes work. If their name on the side of a watertower makes them feel special, that's what you do - it's still work, but it's a completely rewarding effort to see that person smile. Guys and girls are just different too, so guys are going to do things they might not enjoy doing, and girls end up doing things that might not thrill them. I think the key here is keep a good balance - sometimes you do your own thing, sometimes you compromise, sometimes you do their thing. It'd be interesting to hear from someone in a same-sex relationship, how they view some of that. It makes sense in my head at the moment, it's just too early to actually write it down. Hey Zenister - is Ctuthlu still planning on coming back? it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites mouth 0 #67 October 10, 2003 All this info from a woman who has her guy totally whipped and wrapped. -- Hot Mama At least you know where you stand even if it is in a pile of shit. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites chaoskitty 0 #68 October 10, 2003 QuoteQuoteI have not had any problems with relationships since I came to the realization that dating is horseshit. Jaded?? ...perhaps.... or am I just incredibly smart? At least I have a good attitude! Amen to that. Yer smart, not jaded I'm even smarter though. *I* haven't had *any* relationship problems since I started avoiding them Huh - smart huh Some just gots it! Well do you think I've been doing?? Walking around in horseshit?? Not lately... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites chaoskitty 0 #69 October 10, 2003 QuoteQuoteTHE IDEAL RELATIONSHIP IS ONE IN WHICH YOU DON'T HAVE TO TRY. If that's the definition of the 'ideal relationship' ... then I seriously doubt such a thing exists. I think what our young WrongWay means is that the ideal relationship is one in which each others natural tendencies are desried and accepted by the other. Therefore, you are both acting naturally with each other and you dont have to try so hard to make each other happy.. it just clicks. Am I right, wrongway? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites wildblue 4 #70 October 10, 2003 I'll agree with both - that WrongWay is young, and that he probably meant it shouldn't be 'painful work' - as in "oh Christ, I have to go sit and watch Will and Grace with her again or she'll get all bitchy...." or "I'd better have dinner waiting when he gets home or he'll be unhappy!" Things because you want to, not because you feel obligated to. Eh... you probably explained it better than I it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites WrongWay 0 #71 October 10, 2003 QuoteQuoteQuoteTHE IDEAL RELATIONSHIP IS ONE IN WHICH YOU DON'T HAVE TO TRY. If that's the definition of the 'ideal relationship' ... then I seriously doubt such a thing exists. I think what our young WrongWay means is that the ideal relationship is one in which each others natural tendencies are desried and accepted by the other. Therefore, you are both acting naturally with each other and you dont have to try so hard to make each other happy.. it just clicks. Am I right, wrongway? You're pretty close!! What I'm trying to say is, the sweet things are good, buying flowers or cookies or whatever. But they should not be necessary for the relationship to work. The whole purpose of being together is to BE TOGETHER, nothing more or less. If you love someone, you be with them, and that's it. Sure, being sweet is encouraged, but if one night you don't get cookies, she should still want to be by your side, just to be with you. Oh, and by the way, I'm so excited my Sethy poo is posting!!! How come you never call me anymore baby?? Hahahaha Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Vallerina 2 #72 October 10, 2003 QuoteThe whole purpose of being together is to BE TOGETHER, nothing more or less. Yeah, but there are going to be obstacles no matter what. There are obstacles that you can't avoid (like, crazy in-laws, kids that aren't yours causing problems, etc) so saying that a relationship shouldn't take work is b.s. Another thing I've learned is that the first few months of a relationship suck. Some people love that crap. I can't stand it. I think that's why I avoided dating...so that I could avoid the giddiness stage. What I'm personally proud of is I learned how to avoid jerks, liars, manipulators, etc. Nobody is perfect, but I've never had an interest in anyone who was a big piece of crap. I could do a whole session to women on how to avoid jerky guys!There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Designer 0 #73 October 10, 2003 Humm,I,m still recovering from my last relationship!Like the vulcans,every 7 years I just gotta go down on a woman and make her scream for some dick!But,it seems the women can,t get enough and my ex-would,nt even under stand being tired from work.BE VERY CAREFUL!Someone who say's they never lie,is probably lying!(Most of the time I caught her lying to me.)That really sucks in a relationship.You lie your gone!(rob new tactic)Hoping(trying)to become better friends with the ladies at my DZ.Hoping they will see the real rob?It,s not about money,sex or how good you look together.It,s how do you like each other first?It all starts with 1 person telling a member of the opposite sex that she intrigues him.He fines her interesting(friendly). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites WrongWay 0 #74 October 10, 2003 Quote I've never had an interest in anyone who was a big piece of crap. Then why are you with Seth?? J/K, the slam was there, I had to take it, I love you Seth!! Will you be my hunny bunny again??? Ya know, the first few month "giddiness" can be avoided if you both are realistic to a degree and just be yourselves, not trying to impress each other. Just my opinion!! Then agian, this is coming from a guy who's used to big long relationships, and still can barely work up the courage to ask a pretty girl on a date, hahaha!! God I'm lame...... Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Vallerina 2 #75 October 10, 2003 QuoteYa know, the first few month "giddiness" can be avoided if you both are realistic to a degree and just be yourselves, not trying to impress each other. Yes, this is how I tried to impress Seth during the first few months: -I spilled my entire beer on the old lady in front of me at a baseball game -I was hungover and puking on Thanksgiving Day, making us miss dinner with his family -Let's not even get into how much I impressed him with my dancing skills the night before! -I invited his ex out to his dz so that she could follow him around like a puppy dog -I drunk dialed his dad (although, that wasn't really in the first few months) -My mad bowling skills How he impressed me: -Shaddow puppets -Free tram rides No, I don't think either one of us was really out to impress each other (or, I know I wasn't! Otherwise, I wouldn't have been my normal, foolish self.) The giddiness is natural. It's all "new" and "exciting." It's great and fun and all, but I would rather take anything else. QuoteJ/K, the slam was there, I had to take it, I love you Seth!! Will you be my hunny bunny again??? You are going to make me vomit if you keep calling him pet names. There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next Page 3 of 7 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
Dumpster 0 #53 October 10, 2003 Late into this thread - Really late - I really can't say anything that hasn't already been said - I've been married twice, divorced once, and been in a handful of semi-serious dating relationships in between. And if any of y'all know me at all, the second time married ain't a cakewalk right now. I've got just as many strong points and faults as the next guy - I will never, ever claim to be perfect. My advice to anyone - If you're considering marriage - Stay engaged for at least a year, preferably longer, before you set a date. And make sure you know yourself beforehand. I mean REALLY know yourself. Wish I realized all that long ago!! Easy Does It Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
diablopilot 2 #54 October 10, 2003 QuoteI have some tips for women about how to make a relationship last.. You forgot one.... E) and make me a nice sammich...... Yer going to hell, you know that right?---------------------------------------------- You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #55 October 10, 2003 What I've learned from my own relationships and watching my friends and family in relationships: 1. don't try to change someone. Its like trying to teach a pig to sing. It doesn't work and it annoys the pig. (not saying men are pigs, of course, just making an analogy ) 1a. there are several things you can never change about a man: a. his family b. his friends c. what he's passionate about d. his favorite sports teams or the amount of time he spends watching them. if you have issues with either a, b, c, or d, you should probably consider moving on. 2. don't ever date anyone who's dated a friend or relative, no matter how hot the person may be. ain't worth it. 3. don't date someone you have to work with. being together virtually 24/7 ain't healthy. 4. quit looking for perfection. it doesn't exist. sooner or later, everyone's going to piss you off. Doesn't mean you can't patch things up. Just means that nobody's perfect. 5. if your significant other is doing something to annoy you, SAY SO. don't just expect them to fix the problem on their own when they don't even know it bugs you. (this is only over little things...big things, you either have to accept or not, and if not, move on) Most human beings can't read minds. 6. if it involves non consensual physical pain, it ain't love. move on. 7. just because someone says they love you isn't any reason to either sleep with them or let them borrow your car. 8. just because someone says they love you, it doesn't necessarily follow that they actually mean it. on the flip side, just because someone doesn't actually say it, it doesn't mean they don't. For some people, the actions are easy but the words are hard. 9. watch how someone treats the servers in a restaurant... its a good indicator. 10. we all do stupid things on occasion... find out the intent behind the action before passing judgement. many times, what we believe is a deliberate slight is merely a lapse in judgement on behalf of the other party. 11. as my aunt told me once "God gave men two heads and only enough blood to use one at a time." course, women have also been known to think with their below the waist bits on occasion. Doing stupid things because of lust is not a male-only trait, its a human trait. however, it isn't an excuse for breaking previously made commitments. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #56 October 10, 2003 I have not had any problems with relationships since I came to the realization that dating is horseshit. Jaded?? ...perhaps.... or am I just incredibly smart? At least I have a good attitude! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #57 October 10, 2003 Quote8. just because someone says they love you, it doesn't necessarily follow that they actually mean it. If a women says to a man "I will only sleep with a man who loves me." The woman will hear "I love you." If she says she will sleep with a guy who believes in ESP and the Easter Bunny, she will hear "I knew you were going to say that because I am the Easter Bunny." Quote10. we all do stupid things on occasion... Forgiveness is such a tough thing, but most of the stupid stuff is little stuff, sometimes just let it go. Quote11. Doing stupid things because of lust is not a male-only trait, its a human trait. Wait, I disagree. I think women should continue to use lust instead of logic for decision-making. A guys gotta go with his strengths. I think everyone (of either sex) knows someone of both sexes who are dating a good-looking jerk. Some people believe that you are who you date. Intelligent, good-looking, classy... whatever the need is. Trying to reinforce some self-esteem. (edited for markup) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChasingBlueSky 0 #58 October 10, 2003 QuoteAh, just like you can't expect to find someone to [I]complete[/I] you. You are already complete, whether you are fully aware of it or not. You need someone who [I]compliments[/I] you. EXACTLY! What you and qtnsassy just said are the two most important things. The rest falls into place._________________________________________ you can burn the land and boil the sea, but you can't take the sky from me.... I WILL fly again..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vonSanta 0 #59 October 10, 2003 QuoteI have not had any problems with relationships since I came to the realization that dating is horseshit. Jaded?? ...perhaps.... or am I just incredibly smart? At least I have a good attitude! Amen to that. Yer smart, not jaded I'm even smarter though. *I* haven't had *any* relationship problems since I started avoiding them Huh - smart huh Some just gots it! Santa Von GrossenArsch I only come in one flavour ohwaitthatcanbemisunderst Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iam 0 #60 October 10, 2003 Treat women like carpets - lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for years"Don't ever knock on deaths door, just ring the bell and run away - it really pisses him off" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pa2themd 0 #61 October 10, 2003 QuoteTreat women like carpets - lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for years REALLY!!!!! "Most of us can read the writing on the wall; we just assume it's addressed to someone else!" Ivern Ball Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iam 0 #62 October 10, 2003 Quote REALLY!!!!! Only ones that actually look liks carpets........"Don't ever knock on deaths door, just ring the bell and run away - it really pisses him off" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #63 October 10, 2003 Okay, lemme rephrase all that, and put into words where I'm coming from. What I meant by "dont let her know you really care" was this. Don't let her think that she has you so close that she can do anything to you and still have you begging like a puppy. Me, for instance, I'm very affectionate. I do lots of little "sweet" things like the buying of flowers at random, and even though I've made mistakes in the past, I'm very VERY faithful. Normally all this is okay. But, if I pushed it one more step towards how I usually act, the girl knows I'm attached, and then uses that against me. I'm not saying that's what ALL women will do, it's just my experience. So I definitely could have worded that differently. Let her know you care, and show her how you feel, but don't push it, be very subtle. And what I meant by "let her know she could lose you at any time" was worded WAY wrong. What I meant by that was don't let her know she has you so attached that she can do anything to you and still keep you around. It can't turn out good if you do. So there, hope I clarified things a bit. Oh, and some other stuff I'd like to add. 1. Listen. 2. Kisses on the forehead at night are better than kisses on the lips during the day. (Well, I guess that all depends on who it's with ) And the MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD: THE IDEAL RELATIONSHIP IS ONE IN WHICH YOU DON'T HAVE TO TRY. I could not stress that enough. It's a great thing to go out of your way for your SO, doing sweet things at random, things like that. But the should never be necessary for a relationship to work, EVER. If two people truly love each other, they will just want to be together, and nothing else will matter, and they will stay with you through thick and thin, just because you're you. They shouldn't use your mistakes to their advantage, or say things like "you've never given me flowers". Being in love is all about wanting to be with one another, unconditionally. It's a simple as that. Edited to add: One more thing, HONESTY. Honesty and trust are the most important things in a relationship. If one of these two things are absent, you might as well forget about it. Ladies, I know it's tough sometimes, but if something's wrong and we ask what it is, don't say "I'm fine." Seriously, sit down and talk about the problem. We're not gonna jump down your throat (unless you want us to). Honesty and trust are CRUCIAL. Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miked10270 0 #64 October 10, 2003 A checklist for folk who've come out of a long term relationship: 1. Mope about the house for at least a week. Pig out. No housework. Junk food only. This is the time for you to "retox" on pizza, chocolate, soft ice cream and hard liquor. 2. Commence intense affair with someone you were serious with in the past, ideally someone you almost married. Take things much too far much too fast (while not actually moving in with him/her). After 6 weeks suddenly sit bolt upright in his/her bed at 4am and realise just why you got out of the relationship last time. 3. Purchase unfeasibly powerful car or other totally irresponsible major purchase. 4. Have at least 3 one-night stands. 5. Have at least 3 short lived & intense affairs with totally unsuitable people including at least one of each of the following: a) 18 year old (it's about time you found out about the "generation gap"), b) person at least 20 years older than you (yep. The "generation gap" works both ways), c) "Free-Spirit" who believes that society's attitude to drugs is too narrow minded (try and see hime/ her WITHOUT being introduced to their probation officer), (4) & (5) above can be combined to some extent. Then, and only then are you ready to go into another stable relationship with a fellow sane & well adjusted person. Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tonto 1 #65 October 10, 2003 QuoteOK, sounds interesting. Not sure how much I have to offer, but based on three live-in relationships that lasted over a year and two marriages (one for 18 months, the other 14 years and counting), here you go: 1) Better be friends first. The romance has peaks and valleys, the hot sex comes and goes, but you can carry through a lot of rough spots if you just plain old like to hang out with each other. 2) Be willing to change for shit that doesn't matter, and make sure they understand that you won't change some things no matter what. Be flexible, but make sure your SO understands where your personal boundaries are. 3) If you win an argument, apologize immediately . 4) Make sure you have your own things. My wife and I have been together 20 years, and only opened a joint checking account when we had to deposit our joint tax refund check. and finally (and sorry to sound like a traitor to my gender): 5) If you find a woman who's willing to put up with all your bullshit, hold on tight, don't let her go! Iceman You got my vote! tIt's the year of the Pig. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildblue 4 #66 October 10, 2003 QuoteTHE IDEAL RELATIONSHIP IS ONE IN WHICH YOU DON'T HAVE TO TRY. If that's the definition of the 'ideal relationship' ... then I seriously doubt such a thing exists. Every relationship takes work, some more than others. Unless you're both incredibly lazy people, you can't just do nothing and expect life to be wonderful. A friend of mine used to have some cheesey saying at the bottom of her emails, but it always stuck with me (I don't know where it originally came from: "To love someone is to learn the song in their heart, and sing it back to them" -- I think this applies to everything from giving cookies instead of flowers (because they think flowers are a waste but cookies are the best thing ever) to knowing exactly what it is that makes the person you're with feel special - and that sometimes takes work. If their name on the side of a watertower makes them feel special, that's what you do - it's still work, but it's a completely rewarding effort to see that person smile. Guys and girls are just different too, so guys are going to do things they might not enjoy doing, and girls end up doing things that might not thrill them. I think the key here is keep a good balance - sometimes you do your own thing, sometimes you compromise, sometimes you do their thing. It'd be interesting to hear from someone in a same-sex relationship, how they view some of that. It makes sense in my head at the moment, it's just too early to actually write it down. Hey Zenister - is Ctuthlu still planning on coming back? it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mouth 0 #67 October 10, 2003 All this info from a woman who has her guy totally whipped and wrapped. -- Hot Mama At least you know where you stand even if it is in a pile of shit. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #68 October 10, 2003 QuoteQuoteI have not had any problems with relationships since I came to the realization that dating is horseshit. Jaded?? ...perhaps.... or am I just incredibly smart? At least I have a good attitude! Amen to that. Yer smart, not jaded I'm even smarter though. *I* haven't had *any* relationship problems since I started avoiding them Huh - smart huh Some just gots it! Well do you think I've been doing?? Walking around in horseshit?? Not lately... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chaoskitty 0 #69 October 10, 2003 QuoteQuoteTHE IDEAL RELATIONSHIP IS ONE IN WHICH YOU DON'T HAVE TO TRY. If that's the definition of the 'ideal relationship' ... then I seriously doubt such a thing exists. I think what our young WrongWay means is that the ideal relationship is one in which each others natural tendencies are desried and accepted by the other. Therefore, you are both acting naturally with each other and you dont have to try so hard to make each other happy.. it just clicks. Am I right, wrongway? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildblue 4 #70 October 10, 2003 I'll agree with both - that WrongWay is young, and that he probably meant it shouldn't be 'painful work' - as in "oh Christ, I have to go sit and watch Will and Grace with her again or she'll get all bitchy...." or "I'd better have dinner waiting when he gets home or he'll be unhappy!" Things because you want to, not because you feel obligated to. Eh... you probably explained it better than I it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #71 October 10, 2003 QuoteQuoteQuoteTHE IDEAL RELATIONSHIP IS ONE IN WHICH YOU DON'T HAVE TO TRY. If that's the definition of the 'ideal relationship' ... then I seriously doubt such a thing exists. I think what our young WrongWay means is that the ideal relationship is one in which each others natural tendencies are desried and accepted by the other. Therefore, you are both acting naturally with each other and you dont have to try so hard to make each other happy.. it just clicks. Am I right, wrongway? You're pretty close!! What I'm trying to say is, the sweet things are good, buying flowers or cookies or whatever. But they should not be necessary for the relationship to work. The whole purpose of being together is to BE TOGETHER, nothing more or less. If you love someone, you be with them, and that's it. Sure, being sweet is encouraged, but if one night you don't get cookies, she should still want to be by your side, just to be with you. Oh, and by the way, I'm so excited my Sethy poo is posting!!! How come you never call me anymore baby?? Hahahaha Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #72 October 10, 2003 QuoteThe whole purpose of being together is to BE TOGETHER, nothing more or less. Yeah, but there are going to be obstacles no matter what. There are obstacles that you can't avoid (like, crazy in-laws, kids that aren't yours causing problems, etc) so saying that a relationship shouldn't take work is b.s. Another thing I've learned is that the first few months of a relationship suck. Some people love that crap. I can't stand it. I think that's why I avoided dating...so that I could avoid the giddiness stage. What I'm personally proud of is I learned how to avoid jerks, liars, manipulators, etc. Nobody is perfect, but I've never had an interest in anyone who was a big piece of crap. I could do a whole session to women on how to avoid jerky guys!There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Designer 0 #73 October 10, 2003 Humm,I,m still recovering from my last relationship!Like the vulcans,every 7 years I just gotta go down on a woman and make her scream for some dick!But,it seems the women can,t get enough and my ex-would,nt even under stand being tired from work.BE VERY CAREFUL!Someone who say's they never lie,is probably lying!(Most of the time I caught her lying to me.)That really sucks in a relationship.You lie your gone!(rob new tactic)Hoping(trying)to become better friends with the ladies at my DZ.Hoping they will see the real rob?It,s not about money,sex or how good you look together.It,s how do you like each other first?It all starts with 1 person telling a member of the opposite sex that she intrigues him.He fines her interesting(friendly). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WrongWay 0 #74 October 10, 2003 Quote I've never had an interest in anyone who was a big piece of crap. Then why are you with Seth?? J/K, the slam was there, I had to take it, I love you Seth!! Will you be my hunny bunny again??? Ya know, the first few month "giddiness" can be avoided if you both are realistic to a degree and just be yourselves, not trying to impress each other. Just my opinion!! Then agian, this is coming from a guy who's used to big long relationships, and still can barely work up the courage to ask a pretty girl on a date, hahaha!! God I'm lame...... Wrong Way D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451 The wiser wolf prevails. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #75 October 10, 2003 QuoteYa know, the first few month "giddiness" can be avoided if you both are realistic to a degree and just be yourselves, not trying to impress each other. Yes, this is how I tried to impress Seth during the first few months: -I spilled my entire beer on the old lady in front of me at a baseball game -I was hungover and puking on Thanksgiving Day, making us miss dinner with his family -Let's not even get into how much I impressed him with my dancing skills the night before! -I invited his ex out to his dz so that she could follow him around like a puppy dog -I drunk dialed his dad (although, that wasn't really in the first few months) -My mad bowling skills How he impressed me: -Shaddow puppets -Free tram rides No, I don't think either one of us was really out to impress each other (or, I know I wasn't! Otherwise, I wouldn't have been my normal, foolish self.) The giddiness is natural. It's all "new" and "exciting." It's great and fun and all, but I would rather take anything else. QuoteJ/K, the slam was there, I had to take it, I love you Seth!! Will you be my hunny bunny again??? You are going to make me vomit if you keep calling him pet names. There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
